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Posted Yesterday, 07:57 AM
Skinnyminnie1984isback, on 06 Jul 2022 - 07:38 AM, said:
I get what ur saying. I do.
I wasn’t blaming the whole situation on them. I was saying I felt like shit from what they said like saying they want to slap me and also I’m like a sad little kid. Makes me feel crap tbh.
But as I said there and here etc I won’t post anymore.
I’ve requested thread be locked too.
I don’t know what else to do other than not post.
I appreciate your reply.
they said its like they want to slap you then hug you. its a commonly used phrase, basically saying they're frustrated you dont want to get help but only because they care and dont want to see you suffer. i can understand why it would make you upset though.
i dont know how much more it can be emphasised - the problem is not you posting. you can keep posting as much as you want. just dont be shocked when people give up with words of advice and sympathy when you reject it. you should be aware yourself from writing the posts that there is clearly an issue and you need help. you either accept that or keep living in distress.
5'4 / cw: 52.2kg / lw: 46.9kg / ugw: 41kg
accountability: https://www.myproana...-࿐ྂ/?p=78138067
relapse era <3
#408 
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Posted Yesterday, 12:48 PM
aloof!, on 06 Jul 2022 - 07:34 AM, said:
but why? just because everyone else does so you tihnk you should too? what are you looking for when you put your feelings out there? when i do it's because i want reassurance and support.
you did nothing wrong by posting there, here, or anywhere. nobody is upset at you for posting at all. you're allowed to the same as everyone else. i am just asking what would be helpful to you in the responses to those posts since what you are getting now is clearly not helpful.
we don't like seeing you suffer minnie. that is it. that's where the upset comes from. not anger, not annoyance. it's concern. it's that we want you to be happy and you're rejecting every word of support that is given to you.
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#409
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Posted Today, 01:58 AM
This was my safe place.
I posted. Like everyone else did. But I’m Obv fat. So I shouldn’t. I’m so fking fat.
I just wanted to post to people who felt the same. And now everyone made me feel like shit. It’s just too much. I hate this. I’m so upset.
#410
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Namaslayer
- Locationeatingdisordercentral.com
Posted Today, 06:21 PM
Locking this thread while I read and see wtf is going on here
I'm splitting my time between MPA and EDC, and currently I'm easiest to reach on EDC especially because messaging there is private, functional and reliable. If you need my assistance with any issues or have an urgent need and haven't seen me around the forums, please reach out to me on EDC. I am also on discord @Anne#3800.
If you aren't already a member of EDC, then I hope you'll check it out as an alternate/backup and join us there: eatingdisordercentral.com
~Namaste~
#411
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Namaslayer
- Locationeatingdisordercentral.com
Posted Today, 07:05 PM
@Skinnyminnie1984isback I am going to leave your thread locked for now since you asked for it to be locked or deleted and I respect your wishes. I am locking it in case you later change your mind and want to keep this thread. If so, we can always unlock it.
I read all comments from June 30 - present and I have a few things to ask of you as a favor to us bothr:
Really hear me out/listen/process what I have to tell you because I am the most OBJECTIVE person here that can give unbiased feedback as it pertains to the past 10+ (?) pages of this thread that I just read. I haven't even seen your other thread you posted - so all I know is what I've read in this thread.
You've been around for years (even if you left for a time and came back), and I've "known" you and seen you around for all those years. So even though we aren't close friends, I still know you from being a member and then a mod. I can confirm that you are not hated by the community (trust me, if you were hated I would knooooow). Members hated by the community tend to get banned by yours truly, so take that for what it's worth.
Assuming you don't dislike me/hate me for whatever reason, I would love it if you would message me so we can chat more privately. I want to help you in this moment so that you can feel okay staying on mpa and posting like you normally would. I know I can help you if you will allow me to help. You can message me here (I still receive messages) or you can message me on edc. I honestly am not sure if you're on edc or not, but I can't remember seeing you there recently. I hope you'll join if you're not already there (eatingdisordercentral.com) and message me there so we can chat more.
I reallllly hope you message me. For planning purposes, I'm in the US on the west coast so it sounds like I'm 8 hours behind you. Once you message me, I will definitely respond but just keep in mind with time zones and life schedules I may not reply right away.
chat soon~
I'm splitting my time between MPA and EDC, and currently I'm easiest to reach on EDC especially because messaging there is private, functional and reliable. If you need my assistance with any issues or have an urgent need and haven't seen me around the forums, please reach out to me on EDC. I am also on discord @Anne#3800.
If you aren't already a member of EDC, then I hope you'll check it out as an alternate/backup and join us there: eatingdisordercentral.com
~Namaste~
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Posted 14 June 2022 - 02:09 PM
god my body image is shit today. everything's wrong?? i'm not on my period but having these quick, intense cramps, my skin is breaking out a bit even though i'm chugging water, and in the mirror my limbs look so round and bulky. i don't grow a lot of body hair but whatever is there is stressing me tf out today. i can't concentrate on the things i need to do because i can physically feel myself being ugly
it's so dumb because i can look at my bodychecks from four (4) days ago and recognize that that girl looks okay. not as thin as i would want, but conventionally fine for sure. ED brain is like "that's not you though" lmao this is too much.
but, deep breath. today i'll avoid dairy and focus on water, fruit, and fresh ingredients. i'll go for another run and then wash my hair, leave my skin product-free, clean my desk. i was supposed to have a facetime date with W but told him i need the day to myself - we'll have lots of time when i stay with him all week, he was of course perfect and understanding. i am literally hot i can do this
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#318
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Posted 14 June 2022 - 02:26 PM
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About me:
Eating disordered since 2012, MPA member since 2013
"Recovered" from Anorexia, now a fat fuck 
Follow my accountability: https://www.myproana...-accountabelena
#319
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Posted 14 June 2022 - 03:44 PM
You are literally so hot!!! Altho I relate way too hard about having Days Like This. Sometimes the best thing to do is just sleep it off and feel better in the morning. Doesn't really matter what we look like if we don't *feel* confident, so it's good give yourself the space to let all these emotions pass by.
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#320
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Posted 16 June 2022 - 11:58 AM
june 15
cw: no weigh in
intake: 1702 calories
◇ iced lavender oat milk latte (230)
◇ strawberry bun (430)
◇ seafood rice noodles (508) + vegetarian egg roll (130)
◇ green smoothie (150) + cherry ice cream (254)
exercise: -114 calories
turns out i am, in fact, still that bitch.
however that bitch is super busy! getting ready to spend the week with W for his birthday! so short update today!! i'm on my expensive hoe lifestyle - went to starbucks, got a brazilian, tipped like crazy (always.), did hella visa preparation, got verizon to upgrate my data plan, and now cleaning the whole apartment, baking for W, and packing. omg
also! i need to put you all onto this lingerie brand called kaei&shi: it's super cute, super affordable, and feels like honey birdette quality-wise. $22 got me a bralette, garter belt, thong, and thigh bands set, emerald green with gold detailing <333 happy birthday W lol (also: look at me?? first ever lingerie bought for me by me, no patron in sight)
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53
narcissus season ⚜ 5'8 ⚜ 56 → 50
#321
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Posted 16 June 2022 - 01:33 PM
omg ty for kaei&shi. This is amazing.
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#322
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#323
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Posted 21 June 2022 - 08:55 AM
velvet condom, on 16 Jun 2022 - 1:33 PM, said:
omg ty for kaei&shi. This is amazing.
omg right?? evan can thank me later, lol. (also: dm received and responded to)
tinybelle, on 19 Jun 2022 - 3:56 PM, said:
you are stunning as ever
your comments always pick me up, love! and just caught up on your accountability, following <3
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#324
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Posted 21 June 2022 - 09:29 AM
here until friday with W, and so far it's been absolutely dreamy. walks around the city, plenty of time in the bedroom, meals out on his terrace, etc. restricting has been easy. W absolutely spoils me <3
today he started work, so i walked him to the office and am living my best expensive girlfriend lifestyle - lunch on the upper east side with a university friend, coffee with the thai aunties again (lol), dinner with my best friend from american high school. then it's back home to fuck W into oblivion, please god
detailed update later this week!
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#325
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Posted 23 June 2022 - 09:46 AM
okay luck is on my side on this day? because tell me why i just heard from the jewelry brand i shot with in march, asking me to come finish the collection next month?? when i neither have an agent nor am an actual model lol so they could have just forgotten me?? omg what
leaving nyc tomorrow so i will do a big update! until then, pic of my cute-ass rose latte that is all i can afford in this godforsaken city until W gets me dinner
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#326
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Posted 26 June 2022 - 04:52 PM
cw: 55.0 kg // 18.3
promise an update is coming soon! busy busy working on visa things and planning a beach getaway with W <3 on that theme, a beach pic and bikini bodycheck from today:
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#327
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Posted 28 June 2022 - 04:26 PM
june 28
cw: 55.6 kg // 18.5
intake: 1677 calories
◇ banana coconut milkshake (drank more than pictured = 415 total)
◇ rice porridge with poached egg & furikake (x2 bowls = 420)
◇ rose tea with oat milk & agave (75)
◇ 4 pieces dark chocolate (185)
◇ 2 scrambled eggs (149) over avocado (203) with furikake (10)
◇ coconut gelato (220)
exercise: basically none
my weigh has me so irritated and let me explain why. for context, my tdee is around 1750 excluding exercise. this is what my intakes and energy outputs looked like in my week with W:
june 16:
◇ intake: 1736 calories
◇ exercise: -76 calories
june 17:
◇ intake: 635 calories
◇ exercise: -216 calories
june 18:
◇ intake: 1292 calories
◇ exercise: -218 calories
june 19:
◇ intake: 1230 calories
◇ exercise: -197 calories
june 20:
◇ intake: 1049 calories
◇ exercise: -453 calories
june 21:
◇ intake: 944 calories
◇ exercise: -459 calories
june 22:
◇ intake: 1835 calories
◇ exercise: -159 calories
june 23:
◇ intake: 1814 calories
◇ exercise: -466 calories
so theoretically - and hear me out here - i should probably have lost more than like 0.8-1 kg? but my first weigh-in back home was 55 kg even, and since then (eating my usual maintenance, e.g. 1750 exactly yesterday) it's ticked up gradually to 55.6. like babes what gives
but i always find a bright side right? this time, it's that i just got my wisdom teeth removed this morning, so ya girl is on liquids/soft foods for at least a couple days. the other thing is (tmi) i am peeing like crazy today - i drink about 2 litres every day and have had only one so far, but i swear so much more liquid is leaving my body lmao. i'll eat one more meal this evening, i think scrambled egg with mashed avocado and maybe some ice cream if i feel calm about it lol. for now, pics of my ~aesthetic~ tea and otherwise ugly monochrome wisdom teeth diet (edited to add dinner!):
wait wait editing to add three very triggering things that were said to me at the procedure today, holy shit
1) the nurse getting me set up with vitals kept readjusting the blood pressure cuff and said "we might need to get the child cuff, you have such a little arm." holy shit
2) the doctor recommended i take 1/2 the recommended dosage of pain meds (advil etc.) because "she's a small person so it won't take a lot" i am 5'8 (1,73m) what are people seeing that i'm not??
3) my mother was supporting me to walk after the sedation and when she wrapped her arm around my waist said "you're so tiny, you're like a child" i am not underweight and i do not feel it :')
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#328
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Posted 29 June 2022 - 05:25 PM
june 28
cw: 55.3 kg // 18.4
intake: 1814 calories
◇ banana coconut peanut milkshake (620)
◇ rose tea with agave (60)
◇ rice porridge with poached egg & furikake (x2 bowls = 704)
◇ strawberry bun (430)
exercise: almost none
i think i'm overestimating again but i'm so afraid of underestimating. like i know i ate the same things as yesterday but they're more calories today? smh
also in one of my "my body is extremely masculine nothing about me is feminine" eras again, but at least my hair is going off (excuse the markup nipple covers lol)
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#329
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Warrior
Posted 30 June 2022 - 08:44 AM
You look so amazing, omg
How you look is my ultimate goal
If it helps at all, I would not look at you and think masculine
You look like you'd be a really rich and pretty model
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#330
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Posted 30 June 2022 - 06:20 PM
okay lol it’s very late but finally: here is the long, in-depth post about my week with W! somewhat ED-related but also 1/3 porn and 1/3 general dysfunctionality, so skip if you’re not interested:
day one:
so i arrived in the evening and W picked me up from the station, bouquet of roses in hand as always - yellow this time - and we dropped my things at home and went to dinner at this poppin mexican place. we sat right outside the window, where i (obviously) started befriending the group of three women on the other side of the glass. at one point one of them tapped the glass and held up a phone to us with the scrolling text “when are you getting married? and can we be bridesmaids” women are so cute lol. for his part, W just laughed and kissed my hand like,,,
that night at midnight it became his birthday, but before i could jump him he pulled out a gift and card for me (his birthday was also our 9 months’ anniversary and he wanted to get me something, as he does). he gave me a fancy night moisturizer infused with scents to aid sleep, along with candles as always - rose (my favorite!!) and lavender. i was on my period so we couldn’t fuck, so instead i lay on him and we watched atla and fell asleep.
day two:
the next morning we walked to pick up his cake that i had pre-ordered, and back home i gave him his (first) gift: a leather band with a silver panel engraved with the date we met and with a message in chinese on the back - it looks like a watch, but is technically jewelry for men? W couldn’t get over it and basically hasn’t taken it off since.
(cw: sexual content) then it was time for gift 2, which was ~me~ in the green and gold kaei&shi set i had brought. i handcuffed him before going to change, and when i came back and took off my robe he was struck speechless for like five minutes, lol. i was messing around and touching myself and wouldn’t let him touch me until - and i cannot make this shit up - this man breaks the fucking handcuffs and…..you know the rest. afterwards, he put on an oversized robe, wrapped me up in it with him, and we took a nap. what softcore porn novel do i live in
dinner was at this amazing, bougie french restaurant - thank you W! at some point i might need to invest in dresses that are not $15.99 and bodycon, lol. dinner also changed my life in that the most beautiful woman i have ever seen was eating a few tables away from us? like i actually had trouble looking away, and we could overhear waitstaff and people at other tables talking about her. i don’t know what it was - she was blonde, a little thinner than me, and she had an agent provocateur shopping bag next to her - like who was she?? W caught me staring and said something about being lucky to get to eat with the prettiest person there, but like. with full respect for W, he was wrong. i almost never compare myself to other women but god do i want to have that effect on people
we went out dancing that night, and W let me do his makeup. lmk why men are so hot with eyeliner? anyway i must have done a good job (lol) because so many people of all genders hit on him that night - which he deserves - but he only had eyes for me, as he should
day three:
a lazy day. we went for bagels in the early afternoon, then got coffee and wandered around shopping. in the evening W cooked me dinner - pesto salmon, spaghetti marinara, and spinach salad - and i couldn’t finish my portion, but he still seemed super happy to get to provide for me. then we got high and spent the evening in bed <3
i do think W’s starting to notice that i eat less than he thought when we were at university, unfortunately. when we go out to eat, i always bring back half of my meal. when he cooks, i usually need a couple nights to finish the portion. when i do finish something, he’ll say he’s proud of me?? we started joking that i needed my own shelf in the fridge to keep my half-eaten food i’m working on. but at least if he suspects an ED, he keeps it to himself. that said i want to be normal-er with him
day four:
restricting caught up with me! as it does! which is why i don’t low/medium restrict!
(cw: sexual content) we started our day with a gym date - i hot girl walked on the treadmill while W lifted and periodically came to visit me. he couldn’t keep his hands off me on the way home, so we decided to shower together. the best-laid plans, right? i literally had this man on the edge when my vision went out and i had to drop to my knees to keep from passing out in the fucking shower. W helped me get out and was so sweet and concerned (“don’t you think it might help to eat something?”), but omg this cannot keep happening.
that evening we had The Talk about the fact that i’m moving back to asia and he’s staying here. it was so, so hard and we both cried throughout, but ultimately we decided we’re not going to do long-distance for the sake of both of us. we’re going to stay in each other’s lives, hopefully in close contact, but not try to keep dating with a 12+ hour time difference. i do believe - and maybe it’s dumb of me - that what will be will be. so if our paths reunite, then why not? (please, god.) like W said, “maybe later, maybe denmark.”
days five-seven:
the next day W started work, so every day i woke up early and walked him to work like the trophy girlfriend i am. i stuck mostly to coffee and visited with family and friends during the day, then had dinner and ~incredible~ after-work sex with W at night. he’s always asking “how did you get to looking like this??” like he can’t believe his eyes and i always say luck but like,,,
day seven was the birthday of my best friend from my chinese high school. we had sushi with her boyfriend in the park, made a bunch of dance tiktoks (she’s also a dancer) at her apartment, then went out for hot pot and karaoke with a big group.
(cw: sexual content) because it was the last night with W, i wanted it to be perfect, but. you know me! he came from work to pick me up from karaoke, and everything was fine until we got home. then as soon as he was on top of me, i started falling out of my mind, which i haven’t done in ages. i remember he kept asking if i was okay and i kept saying yes and trying to push through it, but at some point (i don’t remember how) we stopped. as always, he was so gentle with me - he left the room to let me put my clothes on, and offered to sleep elsewhere for the night - but i wanted him there. anyway. just so annoyed that i continue to be fucked up when it’s almost been a year of straight and narrow. but i guess sex work doesn’t affect you until it does, lol.
day eight:
the last day :’( in the morning i was embarrassed and W was apologetic - i think we both felt like we’d ruined the last night. i was meant to leave in the early evening before he was off work, so i left a bouquet of flowers and a note on his desk.
but in a cute-ass twist of fate, work let W off early, so he came back to walk me to the station! by then we felt back to normal, so it was a fun walk together.
when we entered the station, i made the fatal mistake of mentioning that i was craving a latte, because this man told me to go board the train and he would run and get me a latte and pass it onto the train before it departed. obviously this did not work out lmao. but i think it sums up the way he treats me - he will always do the most to make sure my desires are met.
my own messiness aside, the trip was amazing - i really do live my best life with this man. going back in a week and it can’t come soon enough <3
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#331
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Posted 30 June 2022 - 06:29 PM
stressnh0pe, on 30 Jun 2022 - 08:44 AM, said:
You look so amazing, omg
How you look is my ultimate goal
If it helps at all, I would not look at you and think masculine
You look like you'd be a really rich and pretty model
the level of kindness on this site is just beyond :') i definitely post more bodychecks the more insecure i am, so comments like this go a long way to forcing me to reevaluate and be sane for one (1) minute. i am also genuinely convinced you must all be super hot lol
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#332
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Posted 04 July 2022 - 09:30 AM
july 3
cw: 55.0 kg // 18.3
intake: 1555 calories
◇ iced coffee (120)
◇ mango coconut smoothie (172)
◇ tuna fillets (240)
◇ tuna tataki (238) + avocado cucumber salad (194)
◇ cherry ice cream (515) + 1 lindt (76)
exercise: -260 calories
so torn between wanting to restrict like i used to but being unwilling to trigger a binge phase. like i think if i lost 2-3 kg i would be satisfied (lmao), but given the choice i'd way rather maintain here than gain. anyway i'm upping exercise and saving most of my calories for the evening, so maybe that's a good compromise with myself, lol.
but i did find a really sexy couple of documents, one from an ER visit in august (not ED-related), one from a follow-up visit to student health at university a couple weeks later. the first intake form has me at 140 lbs (bmi 21.29) while the second has me at 136 lbs (bmi 20.68). so that's the single best reminder not to let myself get into a binge phase again, 不怕慢！
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#333
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Posted 05 July 2022 - 08:47 AM
july 4
cw: 55.0 kg // 18.3
intake: 1741 calories
◇ 2 fresh figs (43)
◇ lavender latte (310)
◇ peanut cream soboro bun (280)
◇ methi roti (140) with channa masala (225), vegetable curry (130), sweet chutney (25)
◇ 56g goat cheese (216) + 53g parmesan (222) + homemade strawberry compote (150)
exercise: -246 calories
it's just me and my father now, so it's easier to not eat during the day because he has no idea what i do ever, lol. his english is also just okay so i can say an absolute non-sequitur and he'll accept it, like "you ate lunch?" "i've invited my university friends to dinner tomorrow." "okay." but it is truly so odd to live with a parent at 22 lol august needs to come
my food went off. i don't normally eat cheese, but i know if i eat a high-fat snack at night it helps a lot with binge urges. i was prepping to bake mini pies for W and used the runoff from part of the filling to make strawberry compote, so that was cute. it's helpful to romanticize my food if i can!
today i'm having M and L from university for dinner, which is intimidating (what...what do i feed white people?) but should also be fun! anyway i'm going to the oral surgeon but can pick up coffee after and hopefully stick to that, fruit, and salad if i need it until the night.
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#334
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Posted Yesterday, 12:55 PM
july 5
cw: 55.6 kg // 18.6
intake: 2102 calories
◇ grande vanilla oat milk shaken espresso (140)
◇ 187g herring fillets (299) + 112g figs (55)
◇ small servings of malai kofta, channa masala, mattar paneer, basmati rice, green salad (507) + mango lassi (191)
◇ mini peach pie (310)
◇ leftover malai kofta (~600?? this was so unnecessary)
exercise: -38 calories
such a fun night with my girls <3 there was the expected "wowww, your apartment is so....cozy!" but they survived the ethnic food, we caught up on each other's lives and all the tea (so many people are engaged to the worst people lmao), and we'll hopefully hang out again next week. L said "you're, like, glowing these days" and i had to be like "yes lol i am unemployed"
despite that i ended the day feeling really unsatisfied with my body, which led to a "binge" - it was under control, i just thought it would still be under 2000 but had forgotten that we drank mango lassi, fml. lately i feel like i should be losing very, very slowly if i net around 1500 and drink 2L of water, but every time i have solid food my weight just ticks up. my ED brain keeps lying to me and saying "you were 56 kg last summer too, you made no progress for a whole year" which is just a lie? i was like 62-63 kg girl relax. anyway weighing and measuring out my food now ayyy
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#335
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Posted Yesterday, 10:55 PM
july 6
cw: 55.9 kg // 18.6
intake: 1241 calories
◇ iced coffee (100)
◇ 32g apricot (15) + 99g figs (49) + 44g goat cheese (170) + mango lassi (191)
◇ 230g green salad with 66g avocado, 117g strawberries, 72g salmon, 30g pistachios, 1 tbsp vinegar (476)
◇ vanilla gelato (240)
exercise: -287 calories
i am half-asleep and off to spend the weekend with W in the morning! but today was ideal food-wise (ignoring the obsessive food weighing lol), so hopefully when i'm back home my weight will stop horrifying me. i'll update on monday!
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#337
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Posted Today, 03:08 PM
just popping in to say wowww I have a crush on W <3 Your week reads like it came out of a movie. Sooo lovely. So lovely. I have more thoughts but I'm supposed to be at work right now, oops.
But loving it and sending you energy as always <3
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Posted Today, 11:27 AM
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Ruby’s Restriction(5’1”), 2 weeks until Bday
#401
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Posted Today, 03:38 PM
quasimodogirl, on 07 Jul 2022 - 11:27 AM, said:
im bloated af too today i s2g! i feel like eating early so that i can fast to try and alleviate it but i just have no appetite :/ anyways im proud of you, what are you gonna pass the time with today? im aiming to get in some cardio and an arm workout because it is kind of a problem area at the moment. Also i neeeeeed to start a new book. . .
Being bloated sucks so bad, like I know I’m not that fat if i just wasn’t bloated lol. The lack of appetite strikes at the worst times eh? I planned out my calories for the day, breakfast and lunch, then nothing for dinner. I’m busy with work all day, so no bingeing during the day. However i’m worried about the evening, i planned to have nothing but we’ll see how that works out lol. Evening is like the worst time, its such a bad habit to eat right before bed.
I hope you find a fun new book to read! I need to finish midnight sun, its twilight from Edward’s perspective and i am living for it.
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Posted Today, 02:13 PM
days binge free: 5
water intake: 1.3 L
food intake
2 bags of crisps
pain au chocolate
1 packet indomie chicken noodles
chinese 3 in 1
total: 1600~ calories
not a binge even though it feels like one. i ate the noodles during my lunch hour bc i almost passed out at the nursery and i do not want that lol. i’ll save that for when i’m at home. i figured that the salt would bring my energy levels up and that it did. then when i got home my dad was in a weirdly good mood and wanted to buy everyone takeaway. nowadays he’s rarely ever in a good mood so i didn’t want to say no and risk ruining the moment. could’ve gotten a lower calorie option but the way i see it is that i’m gonna feel bad ab the meal either way so i may as well pick sth i’ll enjoy. a 3 in 1 is a combo with chips, curry sauce and egg fried rice and it’s delicious af. wasn’t out of control eating any of that, so it’s not a binge. even if it’s way more than i’m comfortable with
-
i'm getting so tired of low res. eating more feels unbearable but i can’t keep living like this. i feel like i’m going insane. i have weird ass hallucinations, my brain is barely functioning and i have no energy. ive only ever low restricted though. in my entire 6 yrs of having disordered eating i can’t rmbr having an intake of over 900 for longer than a fortnight unless i was binging. to give up something that has been a comfort blanket for so long feels impossible. i’m considering ditching the 500 limit and just trying my best to low res anyway. only so that if i feel like i need a higher calorie day i don’t feel shitty for going over my limit. idfk. a bit more flexibility ig
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Posted 01 July 2022 - 05:14 PM
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
01.07.2022
Day 12
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Calories: 650 (est.)
Steps: 15.000
Weigh-in: 63.1 kg | 139.1 lbs → BMI 24.0
(0.2 kg | 0.4 lbs lost)
b/p free: ✔
¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸
I only lost 0.2 kg compared to one week ago, but considering I upped my intake to get through
the last exams and I pretty much didn't walk at all, I'd say it's good that I kept off the 1.4 kg I've lost since the beginning of this accountability, without binge eating.
Slow progress is still progress...and hey! Next week maybe I'll finally get to BMI 23-dot-something instead of 24.
I'm trying to stay happy and positive, but... this month had a pretty rough start, I guess.
Guess I'll add a little spoiler bar whenever I feel like clearing my head...here we go.
TW: a tinge of negativity regarding EDs and BDD that might rub off on you, feel free to skip it if you feel like it'll affect you.
Lately I started having some intrusive thoughts because I've been sitting in the 60s kg for too long again, and every time I try high restriction it feels like
it's not working, like I'll stay at this size forever, that no amount of effort will change it, and I don't feel valid enough
so I should hurry up and just go back to low restriction and fasting.
Sometimes it's fine, but some days I struggle to go out and I feel like nothing looks good on me no matter how much I try to hide my body.
Being near a mirror when I feel this way is a nightmare, and I lose the strength to even shower or brush my teeth or put on makeup, let alone to study.
I'm also going back to my hometown because the exam period is over and my rental contract with the campus is over,
and I'm getting horribly anxious about my mom cooking my meals with who knows how much oil or whatnot.
That might not even be the worst part, though; all my friends from there are extremely thin and dainty and attractive (we're talking about BMIs ranging from 17 to 19)
and I'm pretty much the Designated Ugly Fat Friend whenever we go out as a group. Bonus points now that it's summer, and they go around in short little dresses, while
I don't even dare to wear shorts because I'm literally mortified about how huge my legs are compared to theirs.
It makes me sick, it makes me feel gross, it makes me wanna disappear. I also know for a fact that one of them has some issues with
disordered eating, wanting to stay thin and being competitive towards other girls, so I literally feel like she's happy to have me by her side so
that she can stand out more, while I look like a joke. I know it's probably my insecurity talking, but she's the type of two-faced and petty person to
think those things, and she's quite the (male) attention seeker.
I also came to find out that a long time friend that I hadn't really talked to since middle school besides some chatting and a couple of hangouts per year at most
was struggling with EDNOS for years; she's probably the prettiest, most angelic and perfect person I know I literally had a crush on her when I was 13 oops
and to be honest I suspected it because she was always eating and drinking the things with the fewest calories whenever I went out eating with her...
she's always been thin tho, I don't think I ever saw her above a 21-ish BMI.
Even if we've been out of touch I really feel for her and want to support her in case she needs me, and it's not like I don't trust her...but.
I don't know if I should tell her about my struggles. She'd become the first person to know about how much I'm struggling IRL, and I'm not
comfortable with that, and I'm worried about involuntarily triggering her and stating some sort of messed up competition, or making her
feel like she has to walk on eggshells for fear of triggering me.
And speaking of triggers...this is absolutely selfish and vile on my behalf, but I want that.
I want to feel triggered by her, she's the prettiest person I can think of, I want to drown in agony every time I look at her,
and dream of the day when I'll be thinner. Which is why I don't want her to have the upper hand by knowing this feels like
a competition to me. I don't even know if what I'm saying makes sense...I just know that it's wrong of me to feel this way,
but that's the terrible side of this disorder for ya.
And these are all the thoughts and sins that I feel like confessing today, I guess.
I had to eyeball my calories today cause I went for a walk, did some shopping and bought a ginseng coffee and an ice cream on the way.
I probably overestimated, I know it's a low amount and that I promised myself to stick to high restriction, but...
I'm going at an all you can eat sushi restaurant with my parents, an auntie and my cousin who are coming tomorrow for a visit and to pick me up;
they'll help me with my luggage, we'll eat and then take a tour through the city that my university is in.
And I guess you can tell where the issue is...
all you can eat.
Trying to only eat 2 rolls for the entire hour that we'll be there is going to look horridly suspicious to my parents, and it's gonna be such a waste of money.
I don't really have any choice besides drinking lots of tea, picking the lowest
calorie options in the menu (no spring rolls, tempura and other fried things, no mayo, etc.), and having this lunch as my OMAD.
It's going to be a horrific surplus of calories and I hate that I can't do anything about it, but I just have to get over it, avoid weighing myself
for a week at all costs unless I really want to cry my eyeballs out, and take long walks whilst not upping my intake to compensate slowly.
It's not going to be the end of the world...but it still hurts. I'll get through it, somehow.
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#28
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Posted 02 July 2022 - 02:35 PM
oops, i realized i wrote a lot so i put it in a spoiler!! <3:
i understand how you feel.. it's easy to feel invalid for high restricting and its so hard to hang out with friends/go outside in general because of the negative feelings you have about yourself
i rarely reach out to any of my friends to hang out because of this as well :(
but please believe me when i say you are 100% valid because the thoughts that you are having show that you're suffering a lot
i see a lot of people making posts about feeling invalid so just know you're not alone in feeling this way <3
also,, ah its such a dilemma wanting to tell your friend about your eating disorder, especially if they have one too :(
i told my closest friend who also has an eating disorder about mine and it actually felt nice to have someone irl to talk to
but then it did kind of become a problem because we would triggering each other since we had no intentions on recovering :s
that was years ago though and i never really bring it up anymore because i don't want to trigger him
it really is such a difficult decision to make, but if you feel like you're not comfortable with telling her, don't force yourself to!
and don't worry about the all you can eat dinner, you deserve it after finishing all your exams :D that's such a huge accomplishment!!
a lot of it will just be food and water weight, not actual weight so don't stress ^^
one day won't do any harm <3 i hope you feel better soon ;o;
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Posted 02 July 2022 - 07:18 PM
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
02.07.2022
Day 13
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Calories: ??? (est. 2800+)
Steps: 24.000
Weigh-in: ✖
b/p free: ✔ (>TDEE, overeating)
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I'm so tired, my feet hurt so much and have blisters on them, and we arrived at my hometown at like 2AM
after running around for the whole day in the city my university's in... But I'm so glad I did???
I'm obviously above my maintenance cals for today, but I walked so much in the past 2 days, especially today, that I might've
compensated for today's calories quite nicely. I'll also keep going on lots of walks from next week onwards.
I'll probably aim for 10.000-ish steps every evening.
To tell the truth, I'm also proud of myself for sticking to my self control till the end; instead of just binge eating whatever I found on the way
and blaming it on how tired I was, I ate very little yesterday, I had a coffee this morning, I went to the all you can eat restaurant with my family,
I had a low-cal iced drink and lots of water during the day, and completely skipped dinner while my relatives had ice cream and/or pizza.
As someone who struggled for a long time with self control in front of such heavy physical and emotional triggers, even if I have to count this day as
a binge because of the number of calories, it didn't feel like one because the moment I wanted to stop eating, I did. It feels good to be in control.
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Posted 02 July 2022 - 07:23 PM
toastt, on 02 Jul 2022 - 2:35 PM, said:
oops, i realized i wrote a lot so i put it in a spoiler!! <3:
Spoilernanami(!! i read your spoiler and i'm so sorry you're going through these struggles..
i understand how you feel.. it's easy to feel invalid for high restricting and its so hard to hang out with friends/go outside in general because of the negative feelings you have about yourself
i rarely reach out to any of my friends to hang out because of this as well
but please believe me when i say you are 100% valid because the thoughts that you are having show that you're suffering a lot
i see a lot of people making posts about feeling invalid so just know you're not alone in feeling this way <3
also,, ah its such a dilemma wanting to tell your friend about your eating disorder, especially if they have one too
i told my closest friend who also has an eating disorder about mine and it actually felt nice to have someone irl to talk to
but then it did kind of become a problem because we would triggering each other since we had no intentions on recovering :s
that was years ago though and i never really bring it up anymore because i don't want to trigger him
it really is such a difficult decision to make, but if you feel like you're not comfortable with telling her, don't force yourself to!
and don't worry about the all you can eat dinner, you deserve it after finishing all your exams
that's such a huge accomplishment!!
a lot of it will just be food and water weight, not actual weight so don't stress ^^
one day won't do any harm <3 i hope you feel better soon ;o;
Thank you for having the patience to go through all that rant and replying to me so kindly, haha.
I'm glad we can cheer each other up and reciprocally remind ourselves of the fact that these feelings of invalidation are just overpowering negativity and they are absolutely wrong.
I've thought about it for a good while and I probably won't tell her...it feels like the best decision for now, for the both of us.
It's been tough mentally, but I'm coping with the fact that I won't suddenly balloon up to 65 kg again because of one day.
I feel really unsure whenever I'm not below 60 kg because it feels like I haven't lost that much and that anything I eat will make me go back there, you know?
But it's gonna be fine!
#31
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Posted 02 July 2022 - 10:11 PM
i think you could class today as an 'overeat' day instead of a 'binge', since that would be more of 'i overate, but could stop easily with no issue' if you think it's worth making the distinction!
imo:
'overeating' just means i had more calories than planned- doesn't matter how many calories over you went
'binge' means feeling out of control? i see other people define this as having a lot more than intended (i think that's how you define it too?)
+ there's the fact that it's not like you were able to choose whether or not you went to the all-you-can-eat sushi place? so i don't even think the overeating is your 'fault' (if anything, you made up for it!)
however, it's super great that you felt in control! your self control is amazing i'm jealous hehe
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[ falling deeper everyday as the gravity calls my name ]
163cm (5'4) // 57.5kg ;w;
[ accountability ]
have a good day ♡
#32
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Posted 03 July 2022 - 06:48 AM
liliaceae, on 02 Jul 2022 - 10:11 PM, said:
i think you could class today as an 'overeat' day instead of a 'binge', since that would be more of 'i overate, but could stop easily with no issue' if you think it's worth making the distinction!
imo:
'overeating' just means i had more calories than planned- doesn't matter how many calories over you went'binge' means feeling out of control? i see other people define this as having a lot more than intended (i think that's how you define it too?)
+ there's the fact that it's not like you were able to choose whether or not you went to the all-you-can-eat sushi place? so i don't even think the overeating is your 'fault' (if anything, you made up for it!)
however, it's super great that you felt in control! your self control is amazing i'm jealous hehe
You might be right. It was a much different feeling compared to the times I had less calories, but still ate everything I could find in my fridge or until I threw up...
It's the next day now and I'm feeling great, I skipped breakfast cause I was so full but I'm back at my normal foods and portions.
Binge eating has always been about the loss of control more than anything else in my life, but it just felt awkward to have so many calories and not count it as a binge...
Since you know, part of the definition of a binge is an "excessive consumption" of something. I guess it's tricky to define it.
But overall I think I agree with you. I'll edit yesterday's post with a yellow mark instead of a red one to signal overeating instead!
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Posted 03 July 2022 - 07:19 AM
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#34
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Posted 03 July 2022 - 04:03 PM
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
03.07.2022
Day 14
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Calories: 1000
Steps: 2000
Weigh-in: ✖
b/p free: ✔
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I'm So TiReD.
I really need to get some good sleep, these past few days have been more exhausting than I thought
and it's sooo hot now, so walking's gonna get so much harder. We didn't do much today, besides unpacking some of the stuff...
I went to watch Elvis with my mom at the cinema. It's such a good movie! Probably one of the best biopics I've ever seen,
both of us knew almost nothing about him before going to see this movie and we were left with such a strong impression.
It's not really mentioned in the movie but he also started struggling with binge eating and drastic diets...
overall it was quite sad, but the film didn't feel long at all.
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Posted 03 July 2022 - 04:06 PM
VaganovaForLife, on 03 Jul 2022 - 07:19 AM, said:
Trust me, you WILL lose weight on 1000 calories a day if you're persistent. I got on my lowest high restricting. You just need to be patent and believe in yourself
It's hard in the beginning cause I don't feel "safe" from gaining back, or valid enough, till I lose a significant amount...but I'm holding on!! As long as I restrict, I'll lose and no amount of self doubt can change that.
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#36
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Posted 04 July 2022 - 03:35 PM
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
04.07.2022
Day 15
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Calories: 1115
Steps: 8000
Weigh-in: ✖
b/p free: ✔
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It was a very tranquil day, I cleaned up my room and rearranged my closet.
I went to a dietician for the first time at the end of may, because my mom caught me crying my eyeballs out during a meltdown
and saw my SH scars for the first time, so I promised her I'll go and that I'll do better to stay happy.
My mom suggested that I should go to see this dietician for a second time before I go on a holiday at the end of July, but I don't wanna...
I honestly hoped she would just forget about it and let me do my thing in peace. It's already hard to have almost no control over what she buys and cooks.
I feel bad for wanting to go back to my university's town.
I haven't called the dietician today and I hope she'll forget again until it's too late tbh.
On another note, I'm going to the cinema again tomorrow and I'll be seeing a long-time friend that I missed so so much, along with some of her friends.
We'll be going to a McDonald's after the film...I'll just get a portion of chicken nuggets and a coke zero.
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#37
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Posted 04 July 2022 - 08:23 PM
peach.tea (ピーチティー), on 04 Jul 2022 - 3:35 PM, said:
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
04.07.2022
Day 15
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Calories: 1115
Steps: 8000
Weigh-in: ✖
b/p free: ✔
¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸
It was a very tranquil day, I cleaned up my room and rearranged my closet.
I went to a dietician for the first time at the end of may, because my mom caught me crying my eyeballs out during a meltdown
and saw my SH scars for the first time, so I promised her I'll go and that I'll do better to stay happy.
My mom suggested that I should go to see this dietician for a second time before I go on a holiday at the end of July, but I don't wanna...
I honestly hoped she would just forget about it and let me do my thing in peace. It's already hard to have almost no control over what she buys and cooks.
I feel bad for wanting to go back to my university's town.
I haven't called the dietician today and I hope she'll forget again until it's too late tbh.
On another note, I'm going to the cinema again tomorrow and I'll be seeing a long-time friend that I missed so so much, along with some of her friends.
We'll be going to a McDonald's after the film...I'll just get a portion of chicken nuggets and a coke zero.
i do the same thing and just hope my mom forgets when i dont wanna go to an appointment lol
also mcdonalds! the hashbrowns are low cal if you wanna get some too!
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༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
❣ HW 55kg ┊ 121lbs ➺ CW 44.0kg ┊ 97lbs ➺ GW 40kg ┊ 88lbs ❣
154cm ┊ 5'1"
*₊✧⊹
❣ Pastries, Desserts and All Things Sweet ❣
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
#38
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Posted 05 July 2022 - 04:00 PM
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
05.07.2022
Day 16
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Calories: 1265
Steps: 4479
Weigh-in: 62.1 kg | 136.9 lbs → BMI 23.7
(1.0 kg | 2.2 lbs lost)
b/p free: ✔
¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸
I lost a whole kilo
Can we make this a national festivity or something?
I can already smell the 50s, I'm confident I can lose two more kg before leaving for a holiday on July 30th!
On my last restriction relapse I managed to get to drop down to 57 kg from my HW...
It's only 5 more kg to get there. I'm feeling really hyped and motivated, I'm literally praying that I won't plateau before this summer ends.
Today went quite well; I ate what I planned yesterday, since we went to McDonald's after the movie and I got the coke zero with 6 nuggets plus ketchup.
I was so tempted by the fries, and the burgers, and the nachos my friend got at the cinema, but I didn't give in!
One of the girls in the group got 6 nuggets, the medium fries, ketchup, mayo, a burger and a soda...I felt like a #skinnykween with my lonely lil nuggets, haha.
If I had been in my idgaf binge phase I'd have gotten all of that plus something for dessert probably...sigh.
Still...ngl, it's my BDD talking for sure, but I don't see myself as that much skinnier. I mean...I'm not? lol, there's plenty of kg left to lose, but I guess it's
far better than being at 67 kg. Any progress is good progress, I just need to stick to it.
TW: somewhat unvoluntary self-meanspo (?) idk, it's just something that might be triggering lol
I don't even know why but I guess I wanted to trigger myself into sticking to this even more so I pulled out a bodycheck at my HW where I have a pair of
jeans I'd bought a while back that don't even go past my butt, and I figured I'd show it to my mom.
I don't even know what sort of reaction I was expecting but she burst out laughing at how my cakes couldn't fit AT ALL and were sticking out entirely.
Lol, it was so involuntarily triggering, I know she really doesn't realize how ashaming that is and I'll never blame it for it but I guess this is why I'll
never be able to be entirely honest about this. She laughed only because she doesn't realize I care that much about it, after all.
I'm not even mad or disappointed cause it looks ridiculous lol, can't wait for the day they become a loose fit on me.
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Posted Yesterday, 06:29 PM
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
06.07.2022
Day 17
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Calories: 1250
Steps: 10.300
Weigh-in: ✖
b/p free: ✔
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Yeah...I guess yesterday's weight loss euphoria is kinda over now.
I went to a small shopping mall nearby because summer sales have begun, so I figured I might try to find some new clothes...
lo and behold, some clothes didn't fit me and there were no bigger sizes available, others just looked bad on my body shape.
How surprising, right? I kept thinking of how these would've all fit me nicely had I stuck to my restriction last winter.
It's no use crying over spilled milk, so I'll just use this as future motivation.
On the flipside, I took another bodycheck pic to see how big my thighs are: I stand with my legs open just enough to make them barely touch.
It's pretty apparent now that my feet are much closer together in the new pic compared to the SW one...but it's not enough.
I'm scared, terrified that I'll gain on the vacation trip, so I absolutely need to put in effort and lose as much as possible by then.
I'll eat what I want but I'll resist binge eating, I'll walk lots and I'll do my best to at least maintain for those 10 days.
I got this, I won't fail this time.
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Posted Today, 03:07 PM
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
07.07.2022
Day 18
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Calories: 1350
Steps: 6000
Weigh-in: ✖
b/p free: ✔
¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸
A bit of an uneventful day; I went for a small walk, I watched some stuff on Netflix, and I planned some stuff for my vacation.
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Posted 04 July 2022 - 05:28 AM
rotten-baby, on 03 Jul 2022 - 08:29 AM, said:
Found pics from hw
Left I think I was 42kg maybe less, the right I was 43kg
MY LEGS HAVE CHANGED damn
I'm jealous that you looked like this at your highest weight even then you were already skinny!
Also saw you had pineapple cottage cheese how did you like it?☺ Think I actually commented this on your cottage cheese thread lmao
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Posted 04 July 2022 - 08:37 AM
StarvingLlama*-*, on 04 Jul 2022 - 05:28 AM, said:
I'm jealous that you looked like this at your highest weight even then you were already skinny!
Also saw you had pineapple cottage cheese how did you like it?☺ Think I actually commented this on your cottage cheese thread lmao
aw thank you! My bad though thats not my highest weight i meant to put a higher weight My hw was 53kg but i have no photos of it, wish i did though i think itd help me see myself better
And i did like it! At first cottage cheese felt a bit weird to eat? but then i realised i love it haha, im going to have it again tonight
#208
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- LocationAsda
Posted 05 July 2022 - 03:38 PM
34.6 IM NOT FAT the scale was being a wanker. HOORAY
I've eaten 4 handfuls of cereal this morning but I have lickle hands
I bped at work
I bped at home
I am bmi 14s still!! Thought I'd gone up to 15s, hoorrayyyyy
I think I just needed to wait for the weight to come off? Maybe it is bc I didn't bp Monday idk?? Maybe cuz I'm exercising more?
pls no more weight gain I'll cry
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#209
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Posted Today, 02:34 PM
2 strawberries
Protein powder 75 cals
Peach relentless 11 cals
1/4 of a bagel with butter and herbs, it was at work I never made it, maybe 80 cals max
Half a bagel which I did make myself - 310
Bp x 1
Today:
1 strawberry
Little Protein powder w lemon and a bit of real sugar - 100
Half a slice of toast with no crusts and butter - 55
Pineapple monster 11??
2 piece of fudge because I felt dizzy
The other half of toast was in the toast so I ate it
Ammeretto 100 200 or something
Bp but I haven't done it yet so I'll update
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- LocationEngland
Posted 04 July 2022 - 04:03 PM
↳ day 09
weight: 57.2 kg // bmi: 21.8 - 1.10 kg
tdee: 1499
deficit: 1,499
week deficit: 3,034 [0.39kg]
12 kg away from GW1: 47kg | 62 days to go!
96 h - round 2
start: 1st july - 12:00pm
end: 5th july - 12:00pm
current fast: 108h / 96h [completed]
꒰ i n t a k e: 0/50 kcal ꒱
♥ -- [0 calories]
♥ -- [n/a calories]
꒰ h a b i t s ꒱
active [ x ]
> 6k steps: 1,146 / 6,000 [ x ]
binge-free [ ✓ ]
water 1 / 2 (litres) [ x ]
closed apple watch rings [ x ]
[ 16 ] day binge free
꒰ n o t e s ꒱
84h - 108h
omg i dropped a whole kg ... i think i'm gonna reach my goal weight
around september 5th if i carry on. *sigh* i still need to be active, i'm so
lazy these days. i decided to extend the fast a bit.
after watching mrbeast's fasting video i want to see how long i can go.
i'm so proud of my progress right now, because in the past i would have binged
then cried like an idiot and created a new accountability.
- isabella ♥, 未来日記 and ᴀɴᴀɴʏᴀ like this
- Like This
[07. 07. 22]
꒰ 5'4 • 56.2𝙠𝙜 • 21.4𝙗𝙢𝙞 • 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙚 ꒱
64 63 62 61 60 59 58 57 56
55 54 53 52 51 50 49 48 47 (kg)
・♥・
✎◞ ˚ ༘♡ [ 17 ] days binge free
a c c o u n t a b i l i t y f a s t i n g t h i n s p o
𝚐𝚠𝟷: 𝟺𝟽𝚔𝚐 ⇢ 𝟿.𝟸𝚔𝚐 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 - 𝟿 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚘!
#22
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Posted Yesterday, 04:08 PM
↳ day 10
weight: 56.6 kg // bmi: 21.6 - 0.60 kg
tdee: 1,529
deficit: 1,512
week deficit: 4,546 [0.59kg]
9.6 kg away from GW1: 47kg | 61 days to go!
96 h - round 2
start: 1st july - 12:00pm
end: 5th july - 12:00pm
current fast: 132h / 96h [completed]
꒰ i n t a k e: 17/50 kcal ꒱
♥ coke zero [1 kcal]
♥ Bouillon [16 calories]
♥ -- [n/a calories]
꒰ h a b i t s ꒱
active [ x ]
> 6k steps: 1,729 / 6,000 [ x ]
binge-free [ ✓ ]
water 0.5 / 2 (litres) [ x ]
closed apple watch rings [ x ]
[ 17 ] day binge free
꒰ n o t e s ꒱
108h - 132h
my weight has gone down again and i'm 56.6kg. i'm going to be 55kg
in no time. i estimated that i would reach 55kg by the end of march so
i'm ahead of schedule <3
fasting > restricting for me. when i restrict i'll end up binging. but with
fasting i feel more in control. also when i fast i don't think about food
and with restriction i think about food 24/7. i feel this month is going
to be successful for me. i've never had a month on here that went
according to plan.
- makima, earthmoon, isabella ♥ and 2 others like this
- Like This
[07. 07. 22]
꒰ 5'4 • 56.2𝙠𝙜 • 21.4𝙗𝙢𝙞 • 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙚 ꒱
64 63 62 61 60 59 58 57 56
55 54 53 52 51 50 49 48 47 (kg)
・♥・
✎◞ ˚ ༘♡ [ 17 ] days binge free
a c c o u n t a b i l i t y f a s t i n g t h i n s p o
𝚐𝚠𝟷: 𝟺𝟽𝚔𝚐 ⇢ 𝟿.𝟸𝚔𝚐 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 - 𝟿 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚘!
#23
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Posted Today, 04:20 PM
↳ day 11
weight: 56.4 kg // bmi: 21.4 - 0.40 kg
tdee: 1,572
deficit: 1,571
week deficit: 6,117 [0.79kg]
9.2 kg away from GW1: 47kg | 60 days to go!
96 h - round 2
start: 1st july - 12:00pm
end: 5th july - 12:00pm
current fast: 156h / 96h [completed]
꒰ i n t a k e: 1/50 kcal ꒱
♥ coke zero [1 kcal]
♥ -- [n/a calories]
꒰ h a b i t s ꒱
active [ x ]
> 6k steps: 1,485 / 6,000 [ x ]
binge-free [ ✓ ]
water 1 / 2 (litres) [ x ]
closed apple watch rings [ x ]
[ 18 ] day binge free
꒰ n o t e s ꒱
136h - 156h
i'm loving this fast weight loss. originally i was supposed to fast for 96hours
but ended up fasting for 156 hours. i wanted to do 14 days but decided against
it in the end. i'm gonna be 47kg in no time, i'm so excited. i'm gonna break my
fast with some soup first then a keto lite meal.
- vulnona, isabella ♥ and toastt like this
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[07. 07. 22]
꒰ 5'4 • 56.2𝙠𝙜 • 21.4𝙗𝙢𝙞 • 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙚 ꒱
64 63 62 61 60 59 58 57 56
55 54 53 52 51 50 49 48 47 (kg)
・♥・
✎◞ ˚ ༘♡ [ 17 ] days binge free
a c c o u n t a b i l i t y f a s t i n g t h i n s p o
𝚐𝚠𝟷: 𝟺𝟽𝚔𝚐 ⇢ 𝟿.𝟸𝚔𝚐 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 - 𝟿 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚘!
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