The failures biography~Cigs Keep Me Going
#161 
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Posted 25 May 2022 - 11:06 AM
5/25/22 Entry
Weight: didn't weigh myself since I was up all night
Planned Intake: 620
Actual Intake: 220
- Koia Protein Shake-190
**Popsicle (have to get them from the store, don't know what it'll be yet)- 80? maybe**Happy Viking Protein Drink-150Smart Ones Turkey & Mashed Potatoes-170- Body Armor Light-20
- Bai Coconut Antioxidant Water-10
Planned Fluids: 194 oz
Actual Fluids: 194 oz
- 4 32 oz water bottles-128
- 32 oz cup of tea-32
- 18 oz Bai-18
- 16 oz Body Armor Light-16
Workout: HA not today. Having real bad tachycardia, not trying to have a heart attack.
AM Entry: Disclaimer: I'm pretty high on coke atm so I'm sorry if this entry is all over the place.
Honestly I don't even know where to start. Yesterday was a good day in terms of meeting my goals-got the room cleaner, got all my laundry done (still needs to be folded though), and got some studying done on my spiritual stuff. I took like 45mg of adderall, last dose was at 4:30PM and then at 1am I took some xanax and had two beers hoping I would be able to fall asleep. Nope, I was up all night. So at 8am I said fuck it and started doing coke. I have no idea why I'm going so hard with these drugs all of a sudden.
Since I was up all night, I didn't weigh myself because not sleeping leads to bloat for me. Considering I was at 129.5 yesterday I could be in the 130's due to not sleeping and I can't deal with that stress rn. Like literally my face looks like a balloon.
I put my intake higher today because my heart is not doing too hot atm. Having crazy tachycardia-my resting bpm is 139 so I think getting more in my system will be good for my heart. (Also that's why I'm not working out today.) The only thing is...I'm on coke and coke and food don't mix. Like even drinking my water is a bitch cause it mixes with the post nasal drip and my water tastes like yay XD. But I'll probably have some food later on in the day after I'm done doing lines.
The fucking past day up until now is a goddamn blur. Like, I know what I did but I don't remember doing it or when I did it. It's a weird feeling. And last week in my awful depression spell I barely remember anything from it so it's just hard cause I feel like the past 2 weeks....weren't me living them? Just feeling pretty dissociated ig.
Not too sure what my plan is for today. Kinda just gonna play it by ear. I would like to get more cleaning done but idk. I still feel tired and have a headache (probably from the no sleep thing combined with all these drugs). I would love some xanax right now but I'm out atm and my plug is LAGGING. He told me he had em at 7:50am and just ghosted since then. Fucking irritating.
Idk I guess that's it for now.
Again sorry if this post is all over the place or incoherent. I'm on motherfucking cloud 9 rn lmao.
#162
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Posted 26 May 2022 - 04:19 PM
5/26/22 Entry
Weight: 128.6
Planned Intake: 635
Actual Intake: 355
- 2 Baked Falafels-120 (from my work. They claim to be 40 cals each but I'm putting them at 60 each to be safe)
- Body Armor Light-15
- Truly Extra-220
Koia Protein Drink-190Strawberry Fruit Popsicle-90
Planned Fluids: 201 oz
Actual Fluids: 169 oz
- 3 32 oz water bottles-96
32 oz tea-32- 17 oz cup of tea-17
- 12 oz Body Armor Light-12
- 28 oz Powerade-28
- 16 oz Truly Extra-16
Workout: COMPLETED 
Warm up-5 minutes
Cardio-30 minutes
15 walking
15 running
Strength-30 minutes
Full Body Tone Yoga
Cool Down-15 minutes
30 Minutes Evening
Stretching Yoga
AM Entry: I'm not too sure what to say. I feel like I'm in a weird spot right now, just very dissociated from my life and myself. I barely remember what I do, I don't feel in touch with my emotions....
My weight is down today, so that's sorta kinda nice? I've just been stuck in the same spot for a few months so seeing it go down to a weight I've already hit a few weeks ago doesn't excite me. I think I'll be excited about my weight once I get under 125. I'm GOING TO make this happen. I will get past this phase I'm stuck in where I get to 127 and then get really depressed and binge drink.
I had work from 10-2, and since I'm just starting I need to at least try some of the foods so when customers ask "what do you recommend?" I'll at least have a general sense. I'm not gonna try any of the higher calorie stuff though. My first day, I had the tabbouleh salad which is only parsley, onion, tomato, wheat germ and lemon juice. It was good but there was too much lemon juice on it heh. Next time I'll make it myself and put just a little on. The falafels I had today were BOMB. They're not fried so they're a pretty safe food. Only about 40 calories (according to the restaurant) so they're a good option if I ever do want to eat there after I finish trying out a few more menu options. I'm just not sure what to try since the rest of the menu seems like high calorie stuff. I could just get a meat side, like just some chicken. I'll probably try all the meats and then stop sampling our foods.
My plan for today is to get more cleaning done, hit the gym, and go grocery shopping-which I will post a pic of my food haul. I'm only working with 60 dollars so I have to be smart about what I buy since I don't get my first check until June 6th. Ugh. But I also want to get more research done on my spirituality stuff. There's a new moon on the 30th and I want to be sure to charge my crystals correctly so I have to look into that.
I took 35mg of adderall XR (one 20mg and one 15mg tablet) at 3pm when I got home from work so I'll probably be up late tonight since adderall XR lasts 12 hours lmao. Whatever just more time to get stuff done on the laptop. I love studying and doing research on adderall. I get so in the zone.
I didn't post my wednesday pic cause I didn't take one-remember? I didn't get sleep tuesday night-wednesday morning so I was all bloated. I may take one someday before next Wednesday to make up for the missing one this week.
But yeah that's about it. Gonna get cleaning and handle my shit.
#163
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Posted 26 May 2022 - 04:28 PM
Workout Plan & Tracker (5/26/22-6/1/22)
***I just noticed I wrote Wednesday 5/22 instead of Wednesday 6/1 LMFAO. What the fuck was I even thinking when I wrote that ha***
I WILL DO EVERY ONE OF THESE WORKOUTS. No more skipping/slacking. I'm done with that. I have the time, I have no reason to not workout. My reward for completing all 7 days will be $40 to spend on whatever I want after I get paid on 6/6. (I'll probably buy some crystals or something related to the metaphysical lol)
#164
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Posted 26 May 2022 - 09:12 PM
5/26/22 PM Entry:
I spent three hours cleaning and rearranging my bird's cage! I love the way it came out ngl. 3 hours well spent imo haha.
This is how it turned out:
Now I have to clean the room a little and fold some laundry. Hopefully I'm done in like an hour and half so I can also do some personal studying. <3
I haven't had anything to eat but those falafels yet today. To drink I've had 2 water bottles, my 17 oz tea and I'm drinking the body armor atm. I haven't gone grocery shopping yet though, but it's open til 1am and its only 9. I have plenty of time.
Okay gonna get back to cleaning now. 
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#165
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Posted 27 May 2022 - 02:44 AM
Grocery Haul 5/26/22
There was so much stuff so I took multiple pics. But yeah, all this for $66. Ya girl knows how to coupon lol. I spent 30 minutes clipping coupons and it was so worth it lmao. Before the cashier applied the coupons it was $84. Got the cantaloupe for one fucking dollar!!
The majority of the stuff I got are drinks, cause I prefer to get my calories from liquids, and even though it's mostly drinks-a lot of them are expensive cause my ortho tendencies don't let me buy the cheaper versions with more chemicals and added sugar lol.
Probiotic Drinks & Smoothies
Probiotic Shots **Sorry my camera couldn't get good focus, so I just labeled what they are**
Protein Drinks-all Plant Based 
Hydration Drinks
Fruit & a Lemon to add to my Tea and Water
BEERS 220 calories a can
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#166
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Posted 27 May 2022 - 03:50 AM
5/26/22 PM Entry Pt. 2:
So I had an awesome night! I didn't get the room cleaned cause the gym in our apartments was closing (it closes at 11 and I finished the bird cage at 9 and then did a quick update here) so I did my workout-YAY, I am going to stick with it this time. After working out I spent like 30 minutes couponing and then I hit the grocery store and spent the last of my money. Well...I maxed out my credit card which had $66 left to spend lmao, so technically it wasn't even my money I spent lol. But yeah I'm officially broke as a fucking joke now.
I took 35mg of Adderall XR at 3pm and I knew I was gonna be up now since it lasts 12 hours (it's 3:26am atm), but fuck. I feel it wearing off and it's not a super pleasant experience lol. At 3:45 I'm gonna take half a bar, wait for it to kick in and then drink a beer. I have a tall can of regular white claw in the fridge, but I really want to try these new flavors of Truly Extra. Like Pineapple Citrus Punch?? Yes please haha, it sounds so good. So I'll probably do that. I haven't eaten anything except those falafels so after the beer I'll probably have the Koia and that popsicle.
I have work tomorrow, but not until 5pm so I'm not worried if I'm up until like 6am. If I wake up at 11AM/11:30AM thats 5/5.5 hrs of sleep. I'm tempted to wake up at noon or even 1PM but my boyfriend DEMOLISHED our room tonight-just threw his stuff everywhere, like I can't even see the floor by the foot of the bed or on his side of the room-so I want to get up so I can clean before work. I hate messiness.
That's something I'm looking forward to for when I move back in with my dad. I won't have to be his fucking maid anymore. Don't get me wrong I'll miss living with him and sleeping with him at night but I can't deal with how much of a slob he is. I'm a clean person, the only time my room gets messy is when I'm super depressed. He's also...not like a hoarder but he has so much stuff that he doesn't use and he can't get rid of anything. All that random unnecessary stuff just gets thrown everywhere daily. So I am super excited to have my own space again and not have to clean as much as I do. Like before I lived with him I did 10-20 minutes of cleaning in the morning and 10-20 minutes of cleaning at night and my space was always neat and tidy. I don't have a lot of possessions and when I use something I put it back when I'm done with it.
It's something I've been thinking about in our relationship, and it makes me wonder if this will actually work out in the long run. I can deal with a bit of clutter and having a room that looks lived in. But you guys-it's insane how quickly this dude makes a massive mess. I deep clean one day and by the next evening it looks like a tornado blew through. This is really becoming a larger issue for me because I've explained to him that I hate mess, and it would mean a lot to me if he could tidy up just a little and help me with chores. I've organized his stuff and I rearranged our closet so he has room for his; 6 backpacks (and no that's not an exaggeration-he has six, and 4 of them are empty), his motorized bike accessories, weed paraphernalia.... But when he gets home from work he throws his backpack, bike basket, helmet, keys, and clothes on the floor. It takes less than 2 minutes to put a backpack, helmet and bike basket in the closet, hang the keys up on the key hanger thats RIGHT BY OUR DOOR, and to put dirty clothes in the hamper. So honestly at this point it feels disrespectful. And not even in terms of doing the small stuff that I've asked him numerous times to do, but his overall motivation to keep the room clean. For example, when he sees the trash is full he starts throwing his trash on the floor! He doesn't help with ANY cleaning-unless I nag him for days and then he might do one or two chores I've asked him to help me with. When he says he "cleans" it's just putting stuff away. Like, dude, no! Cleaning is wiping the bathroom mirrors, scrubbing the toilet and shower, vacuuming, dusting, etc. So I don't know. If he doesn't learn how to be more responsible and how to keep his area somewhat tidy I don't see how we could have a future together. I am not a maid. I will not resign to be the only one who cleans the toilet, or wipe the doors down, or scrub the bird poop off the walls. We are a partners and I think if we both co-habitat a space, we BOTH need to do our fair share of cleaning. It's not fair for it all to fall on me. So idk, I feel I'll find more clarity on where I stand in terms of our relationship once I move out.
Alright it's 3:46am now, but honestly I still feel the addy's. I might have to wait longer to drink the beer and take the xan. I don't want to mix them. I mean it's for sure wearing off but I still feel it-just not as strong.
Guess I'm gonna play it by ear and once I feel the adderall's effect is mostly gone, I'll take the xanny and drink the beer. For now I'm gonna get some spiritual research done.
Update (5/27 5:27am lol)
So uhhh....it's almost 5:30am. I'm not tired physically but my mind is. After I posted the first part of this entry I learned that an old friend from my long term RTC was lost to suicide. I spent a good hour crying, and now I'm just numb. This is the third friend I've lost to suicide-one of them was my best friend in the entire world.
She passed in a violent manner and it's...hard to think about that. My mind keeps going back to my best friend Peter too. But even though I'm thinking of them, and I know I'm sad and heartbroken....I just don't feel anything. We weren't super close or anything but we were all like a family and lived together for years-there were 40 girls at this RTC. Even though me and her didn't remain in contact after we left, she still had a place in my heart. All of us there went through so much together.
My heart is breaking for her parents.
I grabbed my beer but haven't opened it yet. I think it would help me sleep but I don't really want too. The adderall has completely worn off but I'm just so painfully numb that sleeping doesn't hold much appeal to me at the moment. I don't know why, you would think going to sleep would be something I would want to do to escape this feeling-or lack of feeling. I guess it's not so much I don't want to sleep I just don't want to lay down with my thoughts as I try to fall asleep. At least if I stay awake, I can keep my thoughts off of everything.
#167
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Posted 27 May 2022 - 12:08 PM
5/27/22 Entry
Weight: 130.4 
Fuck my life man.
Planned Intake: 860
Actual Intake: 680
Body Armor Light-20- Koia Protein Drink-190
Kevita Tumeric & Ginger Shot-40Smart Ones Turkey & Mashed Potatoes-170Happy Viking Protein Drink-150Strawberry Popsicle-90- White Claw-170
- 3 Trader Joe's Gingermints-15
- 3 Altoids-15
- Unplanned: Truly Extra-220
- Unplanned: Olipop Root Beer Probiotic Tonic-35
- Unplanned: RoseBerry Probiotic Juice-35
Planned Fluids: 193.2 oz
Actual Fluids: 165.2 oz
- 3 32 oz water bottles-96
- 2 17 oz cups of tea-34
16 oz Body Armor Light-1628 oz Powerade-28- 19.2 oz White Claw-19.2
- Unplanned: 16 oz Truly Extra-16
Workout: Completed!!
AM Entry: Fuck I'm tired as hell. I ended up falling asleep around 9am and I woke up at 10:30am to discover I started my period! I normally don't weigh myself the first three days of my period but I won't be doing that this time. I also won't be doing my low sodium tracking. I will, however, still be taking the Midol Complete to help with the water retention I get from it.
My weight is up 1.8lbs from yesterday, I'm not surprised though considering I got an hour and a half of sleep and I started my period. I just have to get below 125, and I'm SOOO getting over bouncing between 127 to 130. My period will probably set me back a few days but I will stick to my workouts and maintain a deficit. I will get there with patience and consistency.
I'm still pretty emotionally out of it, but I'm feeling better than I was earlier this morning.
My goal for today before work is to get the room clean, and hopefully clean the bathroom as well. After work I'm going to the gym and then I'm going to take a nice bath, drink a beer and get a good night sleep.
I took 15mg of adderall at 11am, and then 7.5mg just now. I'll probably take another 7.5 mg around 1 or 2 and that will be it for the day. If I'm really tired after I get off at 9, I'll have a cup of caffeinated tea and one scoop of preworkout so I can get through my workout.
I'm so tired this adderall isn't really having an effect on me. I might have a cup of green tea to help mask the tiredness. My eyes are puffy and red from crying so much this morning and only getting 1.5 hours of sleep.
#168
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Posted 28 May 2022 - 05:01 PM
5/28/22 Entry
Weight: 129.9
Planned Intake: 575
Actual Intake: 330
- Body Armor Light-20
Kevita Tumeric & Ginger Shot-40Happy Viking Protein Drink-150- Strawberry Popsicle-90
150g Cantaloupe-55- Truly Extra-220
Planned Fluids: 190 oz
Actual Fluids: 156 oz
- 3 32 oz Water Bottles-96
- 16 oz Body Armor-16
2 17 oz cups of tea-34- 28 oz Powerade Zero-28
- 16 oz Truly Extra-16
Workout: Active Recovery Day-will be deep cleaning bathroom and doing yoga-COMPLETED
AM Entry: Yesterday was rough after I posted my AM Entry. Poseidon, my yellow and green bird, is sick. 
I can't afford to take him to an avian vet it's $300 just for the exam, that doesn't include treatments. I put a little extra probiotics in the food and added Apple Cider Vinegar to their water hoping he can get past this sickness with his own immune system and some natural support. I feel like such a bad bird mom, not being able to afford the vet right now. </3 Then I went to work, and it was alright. After work I went to the gym and showered. Once I got out of the shower, my brother called me crying. He said that my dad shoved him out of his chair and hit him when he was on the floor-because my brother was 'being too loud' playing his video games. It broke my heart listening to my brother that upset. It also brought up a lot of my own childhood trauma and makes me a bit apprehensive of moving back in with my dad.... So just with everything that has already been happening this week I kind of broke down last night. I spent most of the night crying and then I called a friend (my boyfriend went to sleep so I couldn't talk to him 
)and it was nice.
My friend really helped distract me. We always have such a good time talking, just constantly joking around and stuff. He's been a good friend of mine for years but we stopped talking for a year because one night I was really drunk and we were flirting and my boyfriend heard. I have a lot of guilt about that, I am a faithful person and it was so out of character for me to do that. Our friendship is platonic, and it was a one time thing and a major mistake. But ofc my boyfriend would overhear it. I cut ties with this friend for a while because of this. Last night was the first time we had spoken. I feel a little guilty because I have to hide it from my bf, but at the same time I know I'm not cheating. I'm not romantically interested in him at all. He's a really good friend and is always there for me. My boyfriend isn't lol. He saw how upset I was last night and went to sleep, leaving me alone. My friend talked with me on the phone for an hour and I felt so much better after our phone call.
So yeah that was my night last night. On too today ha.
I'm on day 2 of my period and my weight is down so that's nice. Normally I stay really bloated for the first 3 days. I'm still bloated but not as bad as I usually am at this time. I'm cramping really bad, so I am glad today is an active recovery day and not a full workout haha. Once the cramps get a little better I'll start my deep cleaning. It's gonna suck though, my muscles are so sore DX I am really looking forward to the yoga though, it'll feel so great on my legs.
I'm going to be meeting with my dad soon and we're going for a walk around a lake. I'm a little nervous for the conversation considering what happened last night. He texted me right before my brother called me last night saying there is a change in plans regarding me moving in in July. I think it has to do with my brother though, because on our phone call last night he seemed like he thought my dad is going to kick him out.
Today I want to get a lot of studying done on crystals, so I'm gonna get to that before I have to go meet my dad and clean the bathroom.
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Posted 30 May 2022 - 03:11 PM
5/29/22 Update
Writing this on 5/30/22 because I didn't write yesterday. I was up all night from the 28th-29th and was so exhausted I just couldn't. Yesterday was a pretty shitty day for me because of that lack of sleep. I don't handle no sleep well-physically, emotionally or mentally.
Yesterday to eat I had:
- bag of hot cheetos (340)
- KFC $5 bowl (~800)
- A chicken taco (~200)
So basically I had too much to eat. </3 I don't wanna add those numbers up. I just don't know whats going on with me these past few months. :'(
I didn't even track my fluids yesterday. Idk I'm not doing good mentally at all.
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#172
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Posted 13 June 2022 - 12:32 PM
6/13/22 Entry
No weight today, tomorrow we'll see the damage when I weigh in for the first time in like two weeks 
Planned Intake: 1010
Actual Intake: 1650 (I FUCKING HATE MYSELF)
Koia-1902 Baked Falafels-120Evolve Protein Drink-140Bag of Boom Chika Pop-140- 2 Truly Punches-420
- Unplanned: 2 Truly Extra's-440
- Unplanned: 2 Kroger Mac n Cheeses-440
- Unplanned: Fries w/ Ranch and BBQ sauce-350
Planned Fluids: 193 oz
Actual Fluids: 193 oz (not good though, fucking 80 oz was alcohol!)
4 32 oz water bottles-128- 17 oz cup of tea-17
- 2 24 oz Truly's-48
- 3 32 oz water bottles-96
- Unplanned: 2 Truly Extra's-32
AM Entry: The past two weeks have been very strange-to say the least. But I'M BACK!! I don't know how to explain it honestly. I was really depressed, like I couldn't do anything but the bare essentials. I went to work and that was it for a while. I didn't even track my calories (I wasn't binging, probably just eating around maintenance-which made me feel even worse and pretty gross) Over this past weekend though I kind of got my shit together.
It was my grandma's 91st birthday so I drove the whole family down to San Diego to her favorite restaurant. It was really stressful because the food there was all fancy and no calories were listed-not that I was counting strictly but I still kept like a general tab on calorie contents for my foods. Also, my boyfriend had been complaining (in all rights) that I don't do anything but lay in bed. Our relationship was taking a hit because of it, so on yesterday we went to a Watermelon Festival and it was so much fun! They had custom watermelon designed cars, a bunch of free watermelon and watermelon arts and crafts! I definitely had to force myself to get out, and it wasn't an easy task but it did help kind of snap me out of that heavy funk. I'm not saying that going out those two days completely cleared the depression, but it made me feel a little more like myself again and I have more energy and motivation now.
I have gained weight for sure. I think a lot of it is probably water weight but coming out of really low restriction and going straight to eating 1400-1900 a day is definitely sure to add a few pounds. Honestly I'm not stressing it too much for some reason. I think it's because I know I'm in the mental state to actually maintain restriction for longer than a few weeks and hit my workout goals again so I know it will come off quick. I didn't weigh myself today, but there will be a weight for tomorrow morning!
I'm just ready to get back into restricting and feel pleased with myself again. I've been feeling so low and like such a failure and loser-restricting always makes me feel on top. From my birthday at the end of March all the way through now I was in such a doldrum and because of that I would go through a few days to a week+ of not restricting, drinking a bunch and not journaling on here every few weeks or so. But I think taking that break from the expectation of journaling/updating here helped me kind of get on track mentally again. It allowed me some space and time to really think.
So I mean I guess that's about it for now?
Today I'm going to get some light cleaning done around my room before work. I want to get back to the gym (and this time I know I can be consistent with it) so I may make a workout schedule before work as well.
PM Entry: I fucking hate myself. I drank so much it's insane-and it made me not stick to my planned intake. I had 80 fucking oz of alcohol and high sodium foods. I'm not drinking tomorrow.
I'm pretty drunk so I'll just write more about this tomorrow. I'm gonna enter my drunken slumber now. God I FUCKING HATE MYSELF!
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Posted 14 June 2022 - 01:31 PM
6/14/22 Entry
Weight: 139.2 </3
Planned Intake: 720
Actual Intake: 545
- Koia-190
- 3 cups Boom Chicka Pop-105
Probiotic Drink-45- Evolve Protein Drink-140
Kroger Fruit & Grain Apple Cinnamon Bar-130- Apple & Dark Chocolate covered Pretzels-110
Planned Fluids: 179 oz
Actual Fluids: 179 oz
- 4 32 oz water bottles-128
- 3 17 oz cups of tea-51
Workout: 13.4 mile hike
Completed
AM Entry: Ok so yesterday was just terrible for me. I had so much sodium and alcohol. I feel extremely bloated. I'm not kidding I can feel it everywhere-even in my eyelids. So I think tomorrow's weight will be down, hopefully by 1.5lbs-2lbs. It's disgusting seeing the number up by 10 pounds from 5/28. That was only 17 days ago. I'm thinking I probably gained between 5-7 pounds. :''''(
I don't know what to do about my drinking. It sometimes makes me throw my planned foods out the window (like last night), and other times I can stick with it. My body is taking a hit from it too. Last night I had 9 servings of alcohol! Malt liquor is 6oz a serving and beer is 12oz. I had 32 oz of malt liquor and 48 oz of beer. Today, my eyes look a little yellow. Obviously this scared the shit out of me, so I looked it up and I guess it can happen temporarily when you drink too much for your body. If it doesn't go away within a few days then I've got problems. I'm going to limit my drinking to one night a week, 2 BEERS-not malt liquors. So that was my drinking day for this week I guess. 
I just hate being sober so much. Having to sit with my thoughts and not having a substance to either numb them out or help me cope is really hard for me. I would just buy some xanax but I'm really doing shitty financially. I started working 13 days after I quit my previous job, but I started at a really bad time in the pay period. I caught the last two days so I only made $80 and got paid that $80 last week. I don't get paid again until next monday, and since it's been about a month with no steady sufficient income I'm behind on bills so I think most of my next paycheck will go to bills. I'll probably set aside like 70 for xanax, which would be enough to give me one a day until my next paycheck. I think I could work that. We'll see. I'll just have to push through the next 6 days sober.
I'm also worried about food. I don't have any money to buy my safe foods. Luckily these past few weeks I wasn't really eating them so I still have some stuff left but I think I'll run out before I get paid. I'll just have to be smart with what I have my boyfriend get me to eat once I run out. Hopefully I can make it all last though.
Tonight I'm going on a hike with my boyfriend to watch the Super Full Moon. It's a nice trail, it's 6.7 miles one way and has some pretty steep inclines. It will be fun, and I'm looking forward to seeing the moon as well.
I have work in a little and have some things to take care of before I go in, so I'll update again tonight after the hike.
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Posted 15 June 2022 - 01:30 PM
6/15/22 Entry
Weight: 136.2 Yay! Down three pounds from yesterday!
Planned Intake: 835
Actual Intake: 700
- Koia Protein Drink-190
Evolve Protein Drink-1403 cups Boom Chicka Pop-105Zbar Cinnamon Roll-1402 packets Fruit & Cream Oatmeal-260- 56g Takis-300
- White Claw Surge-210
Planned Fluids: 147 oz
Actual Fluids: 163 oz
- 3 32 oz water bottles-96
- 3 17 oz cups of tea-51
- 16 oz White Claw Surge-210
Workout: 30 minute walk
- Don't have anything planned but I will do some sort of activity and update this afterwards.
AM Entry: Last night was fun! The trail was exhausting but the views were so worth it. We had an elevation gain of 1540 ft, and my glutes are feeling it today haha. The moon was gorgeous as well. I didn't write a PM update last night cause I came home and passed out haha.
I'm happy to see my weight down 3 pounds from yesterday! I fucking knew I was insanely bloated. So that's nice to see 3 pounds of bloat gone lol. I want to get back to the 120's by the end of June. I think it's doable, especially since there's probably a few more pounds of water weight/bloat happening. The 120's are always the hardest number for me to get through-I don't know why but I either plateau or have mental struggles pushing through it and end up binging/not restricting enough. I'm not gonna stress it yet but I think I'll start a special diet when I get to 132. I'm thinking either Keto or OMAD.
I don't have too much going on today. I need to go drop some paperwork off for my upcoming move, but that's about it. I took 30mg of adderall so I'll probably spend a fair amount of time cleaning and studying spiritual stuff today. It also puts me in the mood to get creative and artsy so I may do some art or crafting as well.
I want to work out again today but I'm not sure what I want to do. I kind of feel like jump roping but sadly I don't have a jump rope. I may just go for a 15 minute run and do some calisthenics....or go for a long walk. I don't know, I'll see what I'm feeling later. My legs are pretty sore from yesterday haha.
I mean....I guess that's about it for now? My life isn't too exciting atm.
Wednesday Body Pic- 136.2lbs 6/15/22 (I'm not putting on the front because it's not a new weight, but I will compare it to my previous time at 136!)
136.8lbs 4/14/22
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Posted 16 June 2022 - 12:59 PM
6/16/22 Entry
Weight: 135.2 Yes down 4 pounds in three day!!
Planned Intake: 625
Actual Intake:
- Olipop Root Beer Probiotic Tonic-35
- Koia Protein Drink-190
- Zbar Cinnamon Roll Flavor-140
- 2 packets of Quaker Oats Fruits & Cream Oatmeal-260
Planned Fluids: 159 oz
Actual Fluids:
- 3 32 oz water bottles-96
- 3 17 oz cups of tea-51
- 12 oz Olipop Tonic-12
No workout today, just some deep cleaning
AM Entry: I feel a little bloated today. I had one beer last night, my boyfriend got it for me without asking if I wanted one and the temptation was too much. :'( It was only one beer but I still feel very bloated, especially in my face. I'm still down a pound though so I can't complain too much I guess. I just wish I didn't have that beer.
I'm so annoyed with my job. On my online pay tracker it told me I made $200 worth of tips (the way it works is it just totals up the tips you make on the register after each shift you work and you can go and track it) and now on my paystub it's saying that I'm only getting $44 dollars worth of them! Where are the rest of my tips?! I'm trying to be grateful that I'm at least making livable money this paycheck but it's hard knowing that over 150 dollars worth of money I earned just vanished.
Again there's not much on my agenda today. Gonna get some cleaning done and more studying done with my spiritual journey. My life's been pretty bland lately.
I hope I can keep this quick pace of weight loss up until at least 132, but we'll see. It really just depends on how much of the weight increase was bloat and how much was actual weight. I've decided on doing low carb once I reach 132, so I'll be adding my carbs, protein and fats to my daily trackers around that weight.
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