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Posted 22 June 2022 - 07:48 AM
June 22nd Wednesday
-worked three hours
-got nails done
Total - 1800 overestimated
Breakfast
- Macaron (250)
- Potato bread (260)
Lunch
- Cheese honey bread (350)
- Grapefruit black tea (125)
Dinner
-Red velvet cake (550)
-banana bread (300)
-tea (20)
got to see my friend today, and we went to this dessert cafe that we have wanted to go to for like a year but are both always busy.
body checks that are just screenshots from pictures my friend took , and cake pic
Love always,
Cherry
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#64 
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Posted 23 June 2022 - 05:31 AM
June 23rd Thursday
-one tutoring class
-therapy
Total - 1900
Breakfast
- 불고기덮밥 (500)
- Cheese balls (400)
Lunch
- Yogurt (150)
Snack
- 쌍화차 (450)
- Cherry tomatoes (50)
Dinner
-Pumpkin porridge (100)
-honey butter bread (250)
holy shit america tomorrow... anxious about my potential intake once i'm there. dad will have the fridge and pantry fully stocked. i haven't had anything in my fridge other than mustard and pickles for the past year and my pantry is rice cakes, miso soup, and powdered peanut butter.
i think i'll get a one month gym membership once i'm home, just for some routine exercise. won't be able to skate and I won't have my commute walk 
also i feel so bloated lately?? am i miscalculating my calories or is my tdee weirdly low?? Maybe it has something to do with my birth control, because i've been having breakthrough bleeding for the past month.
also i feel so bloated lately?? am i miscalculating my calories or is my tdee weirdly low?? Maybe it has something to do with my birth control, because i've been having breakthrough bleeding for the past month.picture of my tea and cherry tomatoes (the lady who owns the shop noticed i come regularly to write, and she brings me extra things like tomatoes now (( made my day)
(( made my day)
also i keep listing ssanghwacha in my intake and i didn't know how to describe it, but apparently it's:
Quote
made by boiling down a number of medical herbs such as dried roots of white woodland peony (백작약; 白芍藥; baekjagyak), steamed and dried roots of rehmannia (숙지황; 熟地黃; sukjihwang), dried roots of Mongolian milkvetch (황기; 黃芪; hwanggi), dried roots of Korean angelica (당귀; 當歸; danggwi), dried roots of lovage (천궁; 川芎; cheongung), Chinese cinnamon barks (계피; 桂皮; gyepi), and Chinese liquorice (감초; 甘草; gamcho)
and floating on top is a mix of different seeds and dried jujube and cinnamon powder. and the best part is the egg yolk. i know it sounds gross but it's so good and if you ever come to korea, plz do yourself a favor and find any 다방 (old fashioned coffee shops) and see if they serve "old fashioned ssanghwacha" which is the kind that has the cinnamon and seeds and egg yolk. i know a couple people on here are living in korea as well so I'll pm you the name of the places i like if you're interested haha. but my korean friends make fun of me for liking these sorts of things. their loss 
fuck there's no 쌍화차 in podunk america. I might actually pack a few Korean snacks in my checked baggage. maybe some 연양갱, tea packets, chips, rice chips... ohmygod i am so worried about food, this is gonna be a MASSIVE upheaval in my routine.
there's no 쌍화차 in podunk america. I might actually pack a few Korean snacks in my checked baggage. maybe some 연양갱, tea packets, chips, rice chips... ohmygod i am so worried about food, this is gonna be a MASSIVE upheaval in my routine.Love always,
Cherry
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#65
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Posted 25 June 2022 - 06:04 PM
June 24th Friday
Breakfast
- Ham cheese rolls (500)
- Brownie (255)
- Cream bread (470)
Lunch
- Rice and 불고기 (1000)
Dinner
- Airline food (idk)
im not gonna bother trying to calculate how much was in the airline food (which wasnt bad btw). Im home now and feel really weird. Still processing things. Appetite is low. Anxious because i feel fat
June 24 (but the 25th)
Total - 1700 overestimated
Breakfast
- Eggs, ham (500)
Snack
- Lotus cookie (80)
Lunch
- Spaghetti (700)
Dinner
- Chips (150)
- Juice (100)
June 25th Saturday
Total - 1800
Breakfast
- Raisin toast (550)
- Trail mix (300)
Lunch
- Lemon zucchini Spaghetti (700)
- Hummus, chips (200)
Dinner
- Brownie (300)
i'm homeeee. because of the time zone change i have two days that were technically the 24th.
as expected it's harder to eat less when i'm at home. lots of spaghetti. but oh well, I'm just trying to stay at an intake that doesn't make me gain or feel bloated. have to remind myself that if I eat a lot, I'm going to be so upset and in pain that i won't be able to enjoy my time at home. I'm trying to find a good balance between enjoyment and self control here. I couldn't bring my scale but I brought my tape measurer so I can keep doing measurements. My dad has a mechanical scale and it says i weigh more than i do at home but i have clothes on and i think this scale has never been accurate. it's old as fuck too.
today has been my first full day home. it feels really really weird, especially when I was at the airport and on the drive home. The house is the same as its always been, and the pets remembered me, and my room is exactly the way i left it. so it's comforting for my autistic self. at the airport though, there was a huge amount of reverse culture shock.
i have lots of photos. also my film camera stopped working :/ so i got a new one coming on ebay soon. instead of an xa2 i got an xa (it's a rangefinder so I will have more control)
my internet is really shit here since it's the countryside so it's hard to be active. it is taking forever to upload photos but i'll post them later. pictures of airplane dinner and breakfast, the house, brownie, etc.
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#66
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Posted 26 June 2022 - 05:23 PM
June 26th Sunday
-walked some
Total - 2100 overestimated
Breakfast
- Brownies (850)
Lunch
- Raisin toast (300)
- Bacon (150)
Snack
- Cheese (150)
Dinner
- Spaghetti (650)
i've been awake for like 27 hours in an attempt to fix my jet lag. it's 7pm and i'm gonna hold on till 10pm... exhausted can't think
i'm not happy with my intake. i'm not extremely upset with my intake. i've been looking at a lot of thinspo, more than usual. in k*rea just going outside and seeing everyone else makes me feel fat. but in my hometown i think 60% are overweight. i have nothing against them obviously but the "desire/pressure to be thin" is noticeably less pervasive here so i need to find more motivation online for now
i hope you're all feeling ok today
love always,
cherry
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#67
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Posted 27 June 2022 - 03:34 PM
photos will just not load on my computer so im posting these unformatted on mobile
airplane dinner was: mango pudding, bread roll (it had a plastic wrapper that said it was 80 cals), butter (didnt use), kimchi (didn't eat), salad (didn't eat), risotto (ate part of it but it got stuck in my braces). unpictured is a midflight snack which was a sandwich thing. Airplane breakfast was: salad (didn't eat), pudding cake, scrambled eggs, tomato (didn't eat), potato wedges (had one or two), grilled mushrooms, grilled ham.
And some random photos i took outside since my family home is in the middle of nowhere. the snake is a copperhead. The book is a pixie hollow childrens' book lmao. The cat's name is apple
It's crazy how green everything is. Even the parks in seoul aren't this unabashedly green
airplane dinner was: mango pudding, bread roll (it had a plastic wrapper that said it was 80 cals), butter (didnt use), kimchi (didn't eat), salad (didn't eat), risotto (ate part of it but it got stuck in my braces). unpictured is a midflight snack which was a sandwich thing. Airplane breakfast was: salad (didn't eat), pudding cake, scrambled eggs, tomato (didn't eat), potato wedges (had one or two), grilled mushrooms, grilled ham.
And some random photos i took outside since my family home is in the middle of nowhere. the snake is a copperhead. The book is a pixie hollow childrens' book lmao. The cat's name is apple
It's crazy how green everything is. Even the parks in seoul aren't this unabashedly green
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#68
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Posted 27 June 2022 - 08:14 PM
June 27th Monday
Total - 2100 overestimated
Breakfast
- Salmon (400)
Snack
- Brownie (200)
Lunch
- Egg bacon english muffin (450)
- Raisin toast (450)
Dinner
- Cheetos (150)
- Oat bar (210)
- Tea (160)
I'm trying to stay active by going outside and walking a lot. can feel my asthma is improving here in the countryside so that's cool.
We went to the grocery store today to shop for my old favorites. I avoid grocery stores even outside america so it was kinda rough... my brain shut off and I felt like I was floating outside my body idk. I saw a lot of food that I used to eat unrestricted years ago in middle and high school. even the last time i came here in 2020, my ED took up less of my mind and control, and I ate a LOT. I feel more in control now but still not great. I have resisted a lot and only bought some of the things I wanted rather than getting everything. and i didn't down it all in one go at home : ,) progress
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#69
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Posted 28 June 2022 - 06:12 PM
June 29th Wednesday
-walked some
Total - 1870
Breakfast
- Hot pocket (270)
- Apple sauce (60)
Snack
- Whipped yogurt (140)
- Cheetos (160)
- Tea (70)
Lunch
- Fruity pebbles (300)
- Two waffles (250)
- Raspberries (50)
Dinner
- Ramen (290)
- Hot pocket (270)
i feel kind of nauseous. dunno what that's about.
also if you guys have any netflix recs please lmk. i just finished season three of umbrella academy
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#70
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Posted 29 June 2022 - 08:03 PM
June 29th Wednesday
Total - 1850 overestimated
Breakfast
- Key lime pie (550)
Snack
- Fruity pebbles (200)
- Cheetos (200)
Lunch
- Fairy milk (250)
- Apple sauce (60)
- Cheese (150)
- Beets (30)
Dinner
- Beef stew (400)
My fairy milk:
I used milk, vanilla extract, cinnamon, nutmeg, honey, and a bit of syrup but you can add/change/remove things. Heat milk (or almond milk) in a saucepan or in the microwave. Stir in vanilla and syrup/honey (add to taste). Top with the nutmeg and cinnamon and stir in if u want. i don't really drink milk but i make an exception for this kind.
so far I have two A+ and one B+ in my final grade results. Still waiting for three more classes but i'm not expecting anything good upset about that B+ because i worked really really hard in that class and even got the weekly award for one of my assignments. so if all that is worth a B+ then wtf did people do to earn an A?
upset about that B+ because i worked really really hard in that class and even got the weekly award for one of my assignments. so if all that is worth a B+ then wtf did people do to earn an A?Love always,
Cherry
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#71
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Posted Yesterday, 07:26 PM
June 30th Thursday
Total - 2000 overestimated
Breakfast
- Muffins (660)
Snack
- Lemonade (50)
- Smoothie (100)
- Cheetos (150)
Lunch
- Wild salmon (120)
- Cous cous (320)
- Coconut yogurt (160)
Dinner
- Ramen (290)
- Hawaiian popsicle (100)
sorry for lack of pictures, they literally just won't upload : , ) it has been kinda nice to spend less time on the internet. been reading a lot, spend a lot of time outside. the food i'm eating is more diverse and healthier than what i eat back home. wish I could always eat like this it's not super hard to restrict. no binge urges. i mean i'm probably maintaining or even gaining but it will be insignificant. i feel like i should be... less chill about my ED habits. i was reading over my posts and i sound so nonchalant about it all and it's almost invalidating. feel like i'm not "disordered" enough
it's not super hard to restrict. no binge urges. i mean i'm probably maintaining or even gaining but it will be insignificant. i feel like i should be... less chill about my ED habits. i was reading over my posts and i sound so nonchalant about it all and it's almost invalidating. feel like i'm not "disordered" enoughLove always,
Cherry
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