mpa and others

adalive

Advanced Sage

Accountability access
1678 posts

Locationcatching the bus

Posted Today, 06:22 PM

02/07/2022

CW: 45.0kg ┊ 99.2lbs

Cals: 1297

Steps: 3121

Food

Spoiler

AHHHH ! ive had so many sweets these past 2 days, like im happy but my progress!!!! the place also didnt have cals listed so i just put 1000 for the whole thing, its probably more but its too late to change how much i ate anyway :/

Body Check

Spoiler

ME! i was going to wear jeans but i cant deal with my legs feeling bigger than they are, and thats what my jeans do because theyre so thick and not skin tight.. It got soooo cold though! Ive also realized i literally have 2 bottoms i can wear and 1 dress.. I was going to buy more when i went out with friends but i couldnt find anything my size (and not like to my knees). starting to wonder if i should start ordering from american stores?

I also always thought my mom had a thigh gap because she looks so skinny but she doesnt??? lol???? what???? shes so skinny looking but no thigh gap??? ive been using her as my motivation this whole time but turns out shes probably like bmi 20 lol

this sounds mean but I kind of use my sister as fatspo, not because she looks 'bad', but shes like bmi 30, and my mom, despite looking bmi 20, looks very skinny, and i feel like i would hate to be bigger because then it would be two daughters who are big, instead of having a skinny mom, and 1 skinny and 1 bigger daughter. Its kind of like motivation to avoid an embarrassing situation i guess

Also the smallest one eating the most calorific/indulgent looking thing when we go out to a place with breakfast food is so funny to me, Like i wonder if any of the workers questioned it in their minds at all? or maybe i dont look skinny enough for that..

On that note im becoming more content with my appearance, i still want to lose to bmi 16, but im going to switch to high restricting so i avoid as much damage as possible. I can manage with my current appearance with minor shame and hatred, so why not go a bit slower while i still can right?