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Posted Today, 04:55 AM
But last night I had a dream where my friend was snapchatting me and I was laying in bed with a massive thigh gap and the smallest boniest legs and the most perfect angular knees. Trying to take a pic to send back without making my thigh gap glaringly obvious. The way my knees brushed against each other was positively sinful. Anyways that dream reminded me of that skinni feel that I’ve been cravings, and that I need to stop throwing away progress by bingeing like an animal.
I’m not gonna be weighing myself until Im positive the bloat from dairy/gluten is gone. 500 cal today.
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Posted Today, 04:10 AM
hey I’m running a fever of 101f
I feel like shit but hey at least i don’t have hunger cues
Hopefully this is the thing that makes me lose weight lmaoooo
also tmi tmi tmi warning
im literally so constipated rn that I feeeel a bm but it won’t come out and I don’t want to force it
i had a time, undocumented but early in this accountability, that I had pushed so hard for a bm that I had TMI TMI TMI vaginal prolapse. like my whole pussy wanted to fall out. Literally TERRIFYING. I don’t know how I fixed it but ever since then I do not. Do not. Push too hard.
my mom told me once that my grandma, who has anorexia, and literally every symptom of it, this happened to her too, so it was really fucked up validation
aren’t eating disorders glamorous
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#812 
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Posted Today, 05:29 AM
oh wow, that sounds horrible. feel better soon!!
undiagnosed restrictive bs
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BMI 23 22 21 20 19 maintenance
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fasting accountability
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Posted Today, 07:13 AM
#814
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Posted Today, 07:55 AM
I hope you feel better soon. Have you tried maybe some caffeine and a laxative? Or stool softener?Sent from my SM-G986U using Tapatalk
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Posted Today, 11:02 AM
Oh dear! I'm so sorry to hear, my grandma who I suspect also has an ED actually did have that happen to her as well. Please take care of yourself, maybe like some others said get some stool softeners, maybe no stimulant laxatives but something that'll ease you into a BM. Sending good vibes!
~Hufflepuff | INFP | 9w1 | They/Them | Pisces~
Stats/Diagnoses/Weight-Loss:
"I begin to assemble what weapons I can find, 'cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind."
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"I was once told that the love I felt beating inside my chest was nothing more than my mind playing an unfair trick on my heart.
And like a pair of dice dancing along the uneven pavement, their fate, much like yours or mine, had already been decided." ~Find Me, Forest Blakk
"Of course I'll be here again, see you tomorrow, but it's the end of today,
End of my ways as a walking denial
My trial was filed as a crazy suicidal head case." ~Addict With a Pen, twenty one pilots
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Posted Today, 10:41 PM
kissmyabs, on 03 Jun 2022 - 05:29 AM, said:
oh wow, that sounds horrible. feel better soon!!
thank u <3
ViceGirl, on 03 Jun 2022 - 07:13 AM, said:
I've been lurking but would stool softeners help? They're not a laxative so they aren't as prone to cause irritation if you drink enough water or dependency since most are stimulant free.
thank you so much!! i drank more water and it def helped. next time im out , i'll get a stool softener just in case this happens again
clowndoll, on 03 Jun 2022 - 07:55 AM, said:
I'm so sorry
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thank you <33 i drank extra water and did some weird poses and it helped lol... i couldnt access any of that at the time 
but next time <3
something_of_an_aimless, on 03 Jun 2022 - 11:02 AM, said:
Oh dear! I'm so sorry to hear, my grandma who I suspect also has an ED actually did have that happen to her as well. Please take care of yourself, maybe like some others said get some stool softeners, maybe no stimulant laxatives but something that'll ease you into a BM. Sending good vibes!
ahh yea it's so terrifying. thank you for the advice; i'll get some stool softeners for "next time"... im going to start eating more fiber and definitely drink more water though now.
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Posted Today, 10:42 PM
fαye, on 02 Jun 2022 - 09:13 AM, said:
145.6
141.6
4 lbs of water weight down. nice, but damn. i'm going to drink more water today bc that doesn't seem healthy, esp where i live where dehydration is a huge concern.
intake:
hopefully just water. i kinda like not being hungry lmao. but we'll see
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Posted Today, 02:02 AM
weigh in: 153.6lbs - the whoosh is over haha. 3.6lbs to a healthy bmi WHOOP i should be there in 9 days according to happy scale! but thats defo been influenced by the fast drop so i imagine it might take 10-12 days?
intake:
looking after my sisters dog for the night today, it’ll be nice to have him in my bed tonight hes such a lil dude! i rlly need to shower today but i just wanna spend all day in bed its all i ever do :’) i applied for a job and i really hope i get it bc id love to have some routine n something to do! its the queen’s jubilee today lol so i think it’ll be quiet in town so im gonna go and attempt to run some errands but i will have the dog so it may prove difficult lol so i might do it another day as its not urgent i just need to get some bits before holiday
so lunch was sweet potato fries and i made like a big mac salad lol i need to buy some bread but dont wanna go to tesco just for the bread so waiting till i need more things so i had it deconstructed lol with lettuce, onion, cucumber, cut up my soy burger and threw that in there with some burger sauce. the burger got soggy and it was all pretty sad but not unpleasant tho i just defo wont be doing it again lol tho im really full it just feels like a crazy waste of cals and i regret it. this type of shit really make me wanna purge but i just cant go down that road again it is awful
photographed a whole bin bag of clothes im selling today n uploaded them to vinted and im rlly proud of myself bc ive been putting it off for weeks! i still have so many clothes to sort through that are still in my wardrobe but got the bag thats just been sat in the living room sorted.
dinner was low cal soup, an apple and a popcorn fibre one bar (255). im looking after my sisters dog for this eve so gonna go take him for a walk through town tomorrow to see my old work pals, was meant to go today but i didnt pick him up till much later!
life feels super boring atm, i have nothing to do lmao. im busy on the 7th 8th n 9th n then will be packing to go on hol on the 14th but until the 7th ive got 0 plans n ive been spending all my days in bed
today my dizziness/blurry vision got so bad i couldnt see a THING for about 10 seconds, usually it just lasts a couple of seconds but i couldnt see shit it was actually terriftingSent from my iPhone using Tapatalkh
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Posted 08 May 2022 - 01:14 PM
imprecisebuteffortless, on 03 May 2022 - 7:51 PM, said:
may 3
intake: 1805 calories
◇ iced vanilla latte (170) + 1 bite vegan brownie (~30)
◇ peach yogurt drink (270)
◇ vegan chicken (159) + carrots (41) + lettuce (12)
◇ tres leches cake (430)
◇ 90g takis (482) + laughing cow (210)
exercise: -588 calories
◇ technique class (-416)
◇ 6k steps (-172)
this is what i do now? 10am company class, liquids until dinner, dinner and dessert with friends, then either 1) snacks while i study or 2) clear liquor lol. anyway as of yesterday my weight has gone 55.0 > 54.2 > 55.4 > 55.8, so i'm officially Stressed™ and probably going to make dinner my only non-liquid intake and go from there.
but my life is objectively sexy right now. i'm dancing a lot, spending most of the day with friends, W is as amazing as ever - like two days ago this man brought me roses for literally nothing? he was just like "you're so pretty and you should always have flowers" like god i will fuck you right now
anyway i promise more updates! drunk ones if necessary. until then, a recent body check (click for gif):
you look INCREDIBLE!! real life thinspo 
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Posted 13 May 2022 - 02:37 PM
tinybelle, on 08 May 2022 - 1:14 PM, said:
you look INCREDIBLE!! real life thinspo
you made my day <333 i really need to be working out but at least i'm usually able to project confidence lately, even if it's a bdd nightmare day! gives me hope that i don't have to be bmi 16 to act normal-adjacent, wishing that for all of us!!
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Posted 13 May 2022 - 05:56 PM
long and late update because my schedule is poppin but i am also binging wooo we love to see it! diary notes under spoilers in case you do not care lol
may 9
cw: 55.0 kg // 18.3
intake: 1562 calories
◇ iced vanilla oat latte (210)
◇ strawberry yogurt drink (285)
◇ 75% sweet taro slush w/ grass jelly (555)
◇ fish cake (500) + 1 taki (12)
exercise: -234 calories
finished exams and turned 22~ feeling super blessed. my body is so much better than a year ago, i woke up to 10x as many birthday messages/posts, and W spoils me like no other. took an adderall to finish my last paper of my undergrad (!!!) but decided to go clean for a month or two from now on, my heart rate is high enough on its own lmao. anyway my friends took me out for boba after my work shift, and after i submitted the paper W came over with my gifts: a super soft heated blanket, this beautiful sea glass candle, and my favorite chinese snacks <3 did he google "gifts for a taurus gf" or
also ran into the woman who's been teaching company class downtown and she told me she loved watching me in class, that my movement quality is so "delicate." when i'm in class i feel like such a buffoon lol, i was literally starstruck.
may 10
cw: 54.7 kg // 18.2
intake: ~3000 calories
◇ bottled mocha frappuccino (108)
◇ iced oat matcha (220) + spicy salmon roll (330)
◇ gardein chicken (144) + pesto pasta (158) w/ broccoli (66) + banana pudding (316)
◇ 131g takis (702) + 226g green chile guacamole (375)
◇ 2 lychee jelly (184) + 6 黑芝麻 mochi (750)
exercise: -90 calories
"i'm going to eat normally today" she said. followed by 2000 empty calories of snacks
i shouldn't have been triggered into a binge because it was a good day weight-wise? i wore this cute dress with tiny purple flowers that a patron bought me last march and that i shrunk in the wash - glad i didn't get rid of it, because after losing ~8 kg it now fits perfectly! W loves when i look hyper-feminine and couldn't keep his hands off me. that night i wore the dress and nothing else, and even with me feeling bloated post-binge he was desperate for me, like i was so fucking perfect. we love partners who don't notice when you binge
may 11
cw: 55.8 kg // 18.6
intake: 2555 calories
◇ 1/2 vegan grilled cheese (191) + greek salad (98) + chocolate cookie (190)
◇ coconut milk noodles (~339) + tequila cocktail (~224)
◇ 7 tate's cookies (525) + 100g takis (536)
◇ leftover noodles (~452)
exercise: -203 calories
having to estimate calorie counts is so overwhelming. like why are entries in lifesum so chaotic?
my friends and W surprised me with a trip to a haunted escape room for my late birthday celebration! we beat it just in time, then went for dinner at my favorite thai restaurant. W and i were super dumb and kept flirting instead of solving the room but it was the best time <333
W left late that night for a trip and won't be back until sunday :'( but my social life is super busy these days so realistically i will get more sleep this way. once he's back, my friend Y and i schemed to get our respective men to take us on a fancy double date on sunday, plus there's a couple of cool nighttime events coming up wednesday and thursday. hence why i feel the crushing need to be underweight though
may 12
cw: 55.4 kg // 18.5
intake: 2479 calories
◇ iced oat chai (240)
◇ 7 tate's cookies (525) + 2 lychee jelly (184)
◇ vegan bing (460) aka the only thing with nutrients i ate all day
◇ wide variety of snacks i did not need (1070)
exercise: -150 calories
since the exams period ended, only fourth-year students are on campus, and the university is simply....not feeding us lol. no dining facilities are open despite us having meal plans, and catered events don't begin until next week?? as a result i'm only eating the snacks i could buy with the last of my meal plan points, and the nutrition is obviously lacking. but at least i'll run out soon and have to stop binging!
jokes aside, the binging does need to stop - it's not like i need the extra calories, and the stress is not worth it. the new plan between now and graduation is either company class or a light morning workout, one coffee or matcha that i'll try and make last, light "lunch" at an event if i have to go to one, and one proper meal for dinner. the biggest thing will be trying to spend evenings with friends and/or W, since i only ever binge at night.
but my body is noticeably smaller than it was, i'm realizing. yesterday i wore this green dress, and one of my friends noticed that it was the same as in a picture we took in our first year. when she pulled it up, it was a little awkward - i'm visibly thinner, and i was a "healthier" weight before. the same with wednesday's formal event: everyone is wearing their prom dresses, so i tried mine on. it fits the same as when i was 17, but i look better, more angular. anyway, slight embarrassment aside, it's great motivation to protect my progress!
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Posted 14 May 2022 - 09:26 PM
may 14
cw: 56.3 kg // 18.8 ahhhHHH
intake: 1638 calories
◇ breakfast: iced salted caramel cold brew (180)
◇ lunch: red pepper hummus w/ crackers (220) + 1 tate's cookie (75)
◇ snack: 93g spiced mixed nuts (498)
◇ dinner: spicy seafood noodle soup (380)
◇ post-workout: strawberry yogurt drink (285)
exercise: -274 calories
◇ 3.4k steps (-100)
◇ 35 min hiit (-174)
mostly followed the binge recovery plan today! normally i don't organize my food into meals, but it helped me stay on track today. the snack could have been skipped, but i'm not mad at it because it prevented binging later, plus my workout - one of the john benton model fitness videos i was doing in january - always do the job.
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Posted 21 May 2022 - 12:07 AM
may 15-20
cw: 55.8 kg // 18.6
god i'm busy lately.....getting ready to GRADUATE COLLEGE!!
long gossipy update:
it's all social events all the time, which means a bunch of fear foods, plus roughly 400 cal in clear liquor every night lol. highlights from the past week include greek salad, authentic chinese 家常菜, mushroom empanadas, and hazelnut ice cream. my intakes have been between 1400-2500 every day, plus burning 200-700 calories, so basically maintaining. but my body looks pretty good, since i've been getting to company class and running around a bunch. it's also officially ice coffee season so i am living~
wednesday was the best day: a big group of my friends went to the beach to drink champagne and play volleyball, and they were shook by how strong i was - love being conventionally skinny but stronger than people expect. if that's not motivation to keep working out! that night, my friend came over to do my makeup and take photos before the final formal (basically prom). all my friends were losing their minds over the look - super feminine makeup, loose curls, a floor-length quinceañera-type dress - and even at the event, women kept stopping me to give compliments. W couldn't keep his hands off me and looked starstruck, as he should.
then last night a big group of us went to the club for a lingerie-themed party - i wore a black lace teddie with a black thong and lent a bunch of things to my less expensive hoe friends lol. the vibe was ideal: eight of us women were getting ready, doing makeup, playing music, and taking shots together before we left. even W let me do his makeup in the men's bathroom at the club and he has never looked hotter. sometimes my hoe skills are truly valuable lol, i really felt in my element for once in my life.
a recent shift in my social life is that i've been spending less time with my usual friend group (M, S, and L) and more time with my non-white and lower-income friends, and it's honestly been good for me?? i guess i'm torn between the connections i have through my og friend group - they're rich and bougie and take me to fancy brunches and restaurant openings, the whole "it girl" vibe - but with the other group i feel way more natural, like we speak the same language. i should be clear that i love and value all my friends, demographics aside! just been realizing the energy it takes to pretend to be rich and white all the time, lol.
thing is, each group has its own triggering white girl lmao. with my og friends, it's S: she's LA rich and a legacy at our school, but she's also overweight in a way that affects her social life - she doesn't go out with us because she needs to rest so often, for example. as a result, she's always kind of treated me like shit - criticizes me for being flat, makes fun of my english mistakes, calls me a whore, etc. so obviously we've never had a close relationship lol! it's been a good move to take some space from her.
in the newer group, it's A - the token white girl in a group of extremely beautiful, generally popular women of color (i adore them). she's extremely sweet and innocent but a late bloomer, think og jeannette turner from cruel summer? she's always looked up to me, and i kind of feel like an older sister to her. only this year she's started saying that she wants to start dating and/or hooking up but doesn't feel hot like the rest of us. i've tried to support however i can - i do cute nails for her, and we've been doing makeup lessons - but her biggest insecurity is her body type. the trouble is, she's not willing to modify her intake at all like the rest of us do. i want to emphasize that i hate how overweight people are treated differently from thin people. but at the same time, i recognize that it's the reality, so it's triggering to watch A complain about her body while continuing the same patterns that are keeping her bigger than she wants to be.
moral of the story is that my ED brain interprets both S and A as proof that life is easier for skinnier people. that my social life and good reputation depend on me staying the smallest person in my friend group. anyway i'm not fixating on it - life's too busy for all that these days - but it'll be good to get some time to myself post-graduation and get my head on right.
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Posted 21 May 2022 - 11:01 PM
may 21
cw: 55.4 kg // 18.5
a list of things W did today that turned me on:
- got along with my friends as always <3
- when S started sniping at me, started talking legal and referred to me as "my client" lmao
- about this summer: "i'll take care of the cooking, my love"
- "you have such good abs, it's so hot"
and three bodychecks from the past week! excuse the extremely sweaty post-company class bodycheck, i've had it with ballet thinspo girls looking like they haven't just done cardio for 90 minutes straight lol
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Posted 21 May 2022 - 11:36 PM
your life is so exciting and you are looking so stellar. <3
I get what you mean in reference to those friends triggering you. Life is objectively nicer to pretty, thin people.
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Posted 26 May 2022 - 08:31 AM
velvet condom, on 21 May 2022 - 11:36 PM, said:
your life is so exciting and you are looking so stellar. <3
I get what you mean in reference to those friends triggering you. Life is objectively nicer to pretty, thin people.
thank you love! my life is exciting but too chaos, we both deserve some time off. hoping brunch thread might see an update about your summer lifestyle after you move <3
it is for sure :') i never know whether to "help" my friends be more conventionally attractive - obviously i leave food and weight alone, because what do i know about healthy - or whether to leave them free from some of that pressure. i would hate to see A sacrifice her innocence and sweetness for an outside glow-up.
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Posted 26 May 2022 - 10:17 AM
may 26
cw: 55.4 kg // 18.5
guess who ~did it~
graduated magna cum laude from a top university and couldn't feel more excited or blessed! graduation was so long and busy, but really meaningful, and my parents looked so happy <3
another thing graduation was, unfortunately, was a super-spreader event. after more than 2 years of being built different, i got covid. but three days in and i just feel like i have a cold, so i count it as worth it.
i'm eating maintenance and focusing on nutrients while i get better, but my weight is stable at 55.4 as of this morning. trying to spice up my updates with more pics, so pictured below are chawanmushi my mother made me (peak sick food), kale salad from last night, and a hand check pretending to show off my new nails lol:
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Posted 26 May 2022 - 02:20 PM
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Posted 26 May 2022 - 06:48 PM
imprecisebuteffortless, on 26 May 2022 - 08:31 AM, said:
thank you love! my life is exciting but too chaos, we both deserve some time off. hoping brunch thread might see an update about your summer lifestyle after you move <3
it is for sure :') i never know whether to "help" my friends be more conventionally attractive - obviously i leave food and weight alone, because what do i know about healthy - or whether to leave them free from some of that pressure. i would hate to see A sacrifice her innocence and sweetness for an outside glow-up.
haha I've actually started an accountability again. bc I can't get away from this website :')
yeah, it's such a slippery slope. I find it best to only give advice if I'm specifically sought out for something, otherwise I just leave it alone.
congratulations on graduating!!! magna cum laude is an incredible achievement and you should feel very proud!!! so happy for you! <3
(and sorry about covid. I also got it last week after 2 years of thinking I was built different, lol. I'm glad it's not as bad for you)
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Posted 27 May 2022 - 12:10 AM
golden kush, on 26 May 2022 - 2:20 PM, said:
Congratulations! What an achievement, you must feel amazing!
thank you so much! the outpouring of support people have had for my graduation has been so touching <3
velvet condom, on 26 May 2022 - 6:48 PM, said:
haha I've actually started an accountability again. bc I can't get away from this website :')
yeah, it's such a slippery slope. I find it best to only give advice if I'm specifically sought out for something, otherwise I just leave it alone.
congratulations on graduating!!! magna cum laude is an incredible achievement and you should feel very proud!!! so happy for you! <3
(and sorry about covid. I also got it last week after 2 years of thinking I was built different, lol. I'm glad it's not as bad for you)
you know i followed right away! and thank you for your congrats and well wishes <3
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Posted 29 May 2022 - 12:59 AM
may 28
cw: 55 kg // 18.3
today i got up my courage and asked W if he wants to do long distance when i move, and the man was evasive. so. we texted after we hung up to smooth things over, but he just keeps saying that he's willing to "talk about it." i don't get it - he seems so unfailingly devoted, clingy even - just today he mentioned, in the same breath, wanting kids and what a great mom i would be. but! i need to get over my hurt so we can have the proper conversation. has knowing that prevented me from staying up watching rom coms and crying? no lol
this is so unlike me. at least i'm finally underweight again
anyway!! a bad bitch moves on. pics today are my other hand nails (should i just drop everything and become a nail tech lol), the earl grey oat milk latte i make every day, and the dinner i ate today and yesterday:
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Posted 30 May 2022 - 11:44 AM
may 29
cw: no weigh in
intake: 1986 calories
◇ iced coffee (120)
◇ pumpernickel bagel w/ salmon and chive cream cheese (513)
◇ 2 tbsp chocolate chips (140)
◇ 1 vegetable samosa (180) + channa masala (253) w/ masala chili (200)
◇ cashews (~680)
exercise: -276 calories
the feminine urge to overestimate your intake and underestimate exercise calories lol
i haven't really been restricting for weeks now, which terrifies me when i think about it but also is objectively good? proof, at least, that i can coexist with my ED. even though i have some mental block about going under 54 kg, i can pretty easily maintain in the 55s by just doing liquids-only if i hit the 56s. i still want to go to 50 kg, but definitely not here with my family, already they think i'm too thin. luckily i'm going back where i came from (lol) in august!
that's something i've been thinking a lot about lately: if you live in the US, the odds are stacked against you in terms of weight loss. food regulations are absolutely fucked so food is hyper-palatable and so calorie-dense. most residential areas are not walkable. if you decide to eat less, so many people will shame you. sure, flavors are different - like in beijing, more shrimp- than cheese-flavor things - but it doesn't account for how different the experience is. long story short i cannot wait to be in taipei! walk everywhere, eat widely available fresh fish and fruit, and lose weight without being harassed by anyone my age <333 and speak chinese omfg
non-ED related relationship update:
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Posted 30 May 2022 - 11:47 AM
I just wanted to drop by and just say that I'm learning chinese, and wow that shit is hardd. Such a flex that you can speak it!
Despite that, I really love Chinese culture, it's super rich! 
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Posted 31 May 2022 - 09:48 AM
may 30
cw: 55.8 kg // 18.6
intake: 1894 calories
◇ iced coffee x2 (240)
◇ mango (124) + banana (105) + protein shake (160)
◇ ramen w/ mushroom, bok choy, and egg (410)
◇ pistachios (340) + cherry ice cream (~515)
exercise: -26 calories lol
if i didn't eat ice cream my intake would have been so sexy, but ig i'll continue to maintain. going to run again because being over-underweight gets me stressed these daysss
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Posted 31 May 2022 - 09:53 AM
Bleak Cucumber, on 30 May 2022 - 11:47 AM, said:
I just wanted to drop by and just say that I'm learning chinese, and wow that shit is hardd. Such a flex that you can speak it!
Despite that, I really love Chinese culture, it's super rich!
so happy to hear you're learning, 加油啊！how did you choose to study chinese?
i used to work as a chinese tutor for foreign students, and i'm always so impressed by how fast you can pick it up. not so much a flex when i grew up with it!
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Posted 31 May 2022 - 11:11 AM
imprecisebuteffortless, on 31 May 2022 - 09:53 AM, said:
so happy to hear you're learning, 加油啊！how did you choose to study chinese?
i used to work as a chinese tutor for foreign students, and i'm always so impressed by how fast you can pick it up. not so much a flex when i grew up with it!
谢谢你！
我的中文真的不好，很对不起！
I use coursera, really helps! I want to make a proper schedule for it though, hoping to incorporate it into my day-to-day routine rather than just a side hobby. Why I chose chinese.....I love the musicality and tonality of the language. It just intrigues me. Plus, I want to be able to speak in 12 languages by the time I'm 21 
Wowww, would you be open to just simple chatting with me here, in chinese?
Still thooo, it's soo damn cool, I really wanna build up my speaking and reading skills
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Posted 01 June 2022 - 03:36 PM
Bleak Cucumber, on 31 May 2022 - 11:11 AM, said:
谢谢你！
我的中文真的不好，很对不起！
I use coursera, really helps! I want to make a proper schedule for it though, hoping to incorporate it into my day-to-day routine rather than just a side hobby. Why I chose chinese.....I love the musicality and tonality of the language. It just intrigues me. Plus, I want to be able to speak in 12 languages by the time I'm 21
Wowww, would you be open to just simple chatting with me here, in chinese?
Still thooo, it's soo damn cool, I really wanna build up my speaking and reading skills
哇，中文写得很棒！除了中文英文以外，还会讲哪种语言？挺厉害啊！（：
definitely feel free to PM me and we can chat! ^^
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Posted 01 June 2022 - 03:55 PM
may 31
intake: ~2100 (fuck lifesum)
◇ methi roti w/ roast vegetables + cashews (~600)
◇ black sesame boba (~500)
◇ noodles w/ bok choy, shiitake, 黑木耳 (~300)
◇ pistachios + cherry ice cream (~700)
exercise: ~209 calories (short run)
lifesum has stabbed me in the back. i have an iphone 5 (i'm saving up for a new one!) that is on its deathbed, and after a streak of around 450 days logging my intake, my phone crashed and lifesum kicked me out :'( it then decided that i had to log in to use the app, so i registered, then told me i can only change my calorie limit if i pay, which i will not be doing lol. so my lifesum-mandated, unchangeable limit is 1386 calories lmao. ana coach who
any recommendations for a free app with a similar nice user interface? i used to use MFP but i didn't like it.
for today's pictures, my dinner and a cute-ass picrew i made of me and W:
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#301
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Posted 01 June 2022 - 07:36 PM
The long distance stuff is so hard. This coming from someone whose last relationship of 2.5 years ended because he moved to a different country for school. I thought we were going to make it work, he was also extremely clingy and said he wanted to marry me and all that - but once he moved, his feelings changed. Not to scare you or anything, but yeah, this will definitely have to be a long series of conversations with W. You two can absolutely make it work, but only if you're on the same page and both parties are being totally honest with their feelings.
Some questions I'd try to get his take on -
1. Are frequent visits feasible? Who will visit who? Who will pay/can it be afforded? Will your time off line up?
2. How long will the distance last?
3. Are you both willing to wait out that time period together?
4. What is the plan/idea to close the gap at the end? Will you move back to the US? Him to Taipei?
Sorry if this is overwhelming or spiral-inducing, my experience with this was so recent and I wish I thought through some of this stuff more. But it's also okay to not really know and just take it as it goes!! Whatever your intuition is telling you feels right.
I'm a big planner, yet things crumbled after two months. My inclination to plan things in advance scared him off, despite what he promised me. But I'm grateful it panned out that way because I would've rather found out sooner than wait two years for him to come home, only to decide he actually wants to stay in his new country or has moved on to someone else.
On the flip side, I had a friend who was in an LDR for 3.5 years and simply enjoyed the extended vacations she could take in her boyfriend's country and very much took it year-by-year. It only fizzled out after so long because her priorities shifted, but she doesn't regret the time she spent in that relationship or the memories she made.
I would say you have the "upper hand" here because you're the one going off on a totally new life experience. So I guess this is all a long-winded way of gently encouraging you to take the time to really think about what you want, and how far in advance you want to plan it. You're still young and it's absolutely okay to just be, and see how things shake out.
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Posted Yesterday, 12:42 AM
imprecisebuteffortless, on 01 Jun 2022 - 3:36 PM, said:
哇，中文写得很棒！除了中文英文以外，还会讲哪种语言？挺厉害啊！（：
definitely feel free to PM me and we can chat! ^^
My PM's are broken :'(
哪里哪里！我会说 Swahili (我不知道在中文你怎么说）和 Gujarati， Urdu， 和我的母语 Kutchi。
I use the pinyin keyboard most of the time since my level of Chinese is sooo low. Like in your sentence I recognized a few characters and sort of pieced the meaning, and then used a translator to just confirm it
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Posted Yesterday, 12:52 PM
replies <3
velvet condom, on 01 Jun 2022 - 7:36 PM, said:
The long distance stuff is so hard. This coming from someone whose last relationship of 2.5 years ended because he moved to a different country for school. I thought we were going to make it work, he was also extremely clingy and said he wanted to marry me and all that - but once he moved, his feelings changed. Not to scare you or anything, but yeah, this will definitely have to be a long series of conversations with W. You two can absolutely make it work, but only if you're on the same page and both parties are being totally honest with their feelings.
Some questions I'd try to get his take on -
1. Are frequent visits feasible? Who will visit who? Who will pay/can it be afforded? Will your time off line up?
2. How long will the distance last?
3. Are you both willing to wait out that time period together?
4. What is the plan/idea to close the gap at the end? Will you move back to the US? Him to Taipei?
Sorry if this is overwhelming or spiral-inducing, my experience with this was so recent and I wish I thought through some of this stuff more. But it's also okay to not really know and just take it as it goes!! Whatever your intuition is telling you feels right.
I'm a big planner, yet things crumbled after two months. My inclination to plan things in advance scared him off, despite what he promised me. But I'm grateful it panned out that way because I would've rather found out sooner than wait two years for him to come home, only to decide he actually wants to stay in his new country or has moved on to someone else.
On the flip side, I had a friend who was in an LDR for 3.5 years and simply enjoyed the extended vacations she could take in her boyfriend's country and very much took it year-by-year. It only fizzled out after so long because her priorities shifted, but she doesn't regret the time she spent in that relationship or the memories she made.
I would say you have the "upper hand" here because you're the one going off on a totally new life experience. So I guess this is all a long-winded way of gently encouraging you to take the time to really think about what you want, and how far in advance you want to plan it. You're still young and it's absolutely okay to just be, and see how things shake out.
this is great advice, and actually very in line with how i've been thinking! i know myself and how easy it is for me to feel trapped, so my personal expectation is that our relationship will change, but that things will happen how they will. it will undoubtedly hurt, but we've accepted that part: the current plan is just to discuss our options now and see which one fits when we get to that point. thank you for your thoughtful advice <3
Bleak Cucumber, on 02 Jun 2022 - 12:42 AM, said:
My PM's are broken :'(
哪里哪里！我会说 Swahili (我不知道在中文你怎么说）和 Gujarati， Urdu， 和我的母语 Kutchi。
I use the pinyin keyboard most of the time since my level of Chinese is sooo low. Like in your sentence I recognized a few characters and sort of pieced the meaning, and then used a translator to just confirm it
真厉害！我想推荐个APP，叫Pleco，对学中文非常有用。你可以使用Pleco查任何生词，比如斯瓦希里语（Swahili）！
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Posted Yesterday, 01:07 PM
june 1
intake: 1769 calories
◇ iced coffee x2 (240)
◇ avocado toast on foccacia (473)
◇ 2.5 tbsp chocolate chips (175)
◇ 2 crab cakes (340) + pickled vegetables (31)
◇ pistachios (510)
exercise: none
absolutely fucking no one:
lifesum: "try to limit your calorie intake and focus on healthy alternatives!"
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Posted Yesterday, 01:31 PM
imprecisebuteffortless, on 02 Jun 2022 - 12:52 PM, said:
replies <3
真厉害！我想推荐个APP，叫Pleco，对学中文非常有用。你可以使用Pleco查任何生词，比如斯瓦希里语（Swahili）！
[/spoiler]
你是太helpful! 谢谢你，可是我没有手机！Is it an app I can download on PC? Please feel free to ask me any questions lol, 我知道if someone has no 手机， 是真的奇怪哈哈！
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Posted Today, 09:21 AM
off to visit W for a few days! i can never comfortably eat that much around him, so if this could put me back in the 54s i would love that. update (hopefully with pics!) incoming middle of next week.
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