caffeine + others (bodychecks and triggering stuff)

 

Caffeine For Weight Loss?

Started by Lotus eaterr, Jun 12 2018 08:46 AM

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#1 Lotus eaterr

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Posted 12 June 2018 - 08:46 AM

Hey, I've been a lurker for years (fairly new account though) and I have too much anxiety to actually contribute much but I've been wondering lately if caffeine has aided your weight loss in any way and whether or not it's an appetite suppressant.

 

When I was really underweight I lived off 5 cups of coffee (at most), diet coke and an energy drink every now and then and, well, was really underweight but I don't know if it's just the liquid that kept me full or if the caffeine played a roll.

 

Recently I had a day where I had 3 cups of coffee, diet coke and an energy drink and was very very jittery and shaky but managed to not be hungry and I don't know if that's because of all the liquid lmao

 

Probably won't use caffeine pills but also wanted to include them in my question just to get that out of the way as well. I read other forums on it and it seems very dangerous but just wanted to ask people's opinions on it as well

 

(ps I just want an appetite suppressant bc one of my medications, that I'm in the process of coming off, increases my appitite 10 fold and I'm terrified of my appetite remaining just as bad when I come off it and I don't trust commercial appetite suppressant products. Also I know this is probably dangerous but hey, is anything about an ED not dangerous?)

 

Thank you for reading

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#2 Lotus eaterr

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Posted 12 June 2018 - 08:48 AM

Oh and 'caffeine for weight loss' I realise was the wrong title bc I just want to know if it's an appetite suppressant and not if it directly helps weight loss ahhhhhhh whoops

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#3 anorexicduty

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Posted 12 June 2018 - 08:52 AM

Yeah, caffeine has helped me lose for years.

I need it when I get run down during the day.

It makes me feel kweezy most of the time.

It fills me up as well.

I can get serious anxiety from too much caffeine.

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#4 rainyhaze

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Posted 12 June 2018 - 08:52 AM

it slightly affects the appetite, and makes you want to move and do things. I take 2 caffeine pills a day to get going. Drink plenty of water or liquids with it, sometimes when I'm getting cravings it's really thirst, so I drink a lot of liquids first, before.

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#5 Lotus eaterr

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Posted 12 June 2018 - 08:56 AM

rainyhaze, on 12 Jun 2018 - 08:52 AM, said:

it slightly affects the appetite, and makes you want to move and do things. I take 2 caffeine pills a day to get going. Drink plenty of water or liquids with it, sometimes when I'm getting cravings it's really thirst, so I drink a lot of liquids first, before.

I've heard water is a good idea with caffeine and that cravings are a lot to do with thirst, though I don't really crave food it's just being hungry all the time and having to eat more than most people just to feel full. Also about the water, I'm fucking terrified of water and rarely drink it lmao I only drink liquids that contain caffeine I am super shit with that

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#6 carmen1594

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Posted 12 June 2018 - 08:56 AM

i drink sooooo much iced coffee and it's definitely more the liquid that keeps me full, but the caffeine is super helpful in making sure i actually get things done and don't sit on the couch whole day. i work out a lot too and i always need coffee before and after hahaha

 

one piece of advice though: DON'T have a lot of caffeine in the evenings, especially if you're starving, because it will keep you up whole night and nothing is worse than laying in bed super hungry unable to fall asleep. a can of diet coke is fine, but stay away from coffee after 6PM (unless you're planning on staying out late or something- i always have a coffee before a night out hahahah). basically don't replace dinner with coffee

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#7 Lotus eaterr

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Posted 12 June 2018 - 09:03 AM

90ssupermodelthin, on 12 Jun 2018 - 08:56 AM, said:

i drink sooooo much iced coffee and it's definitely more the liquid that keeps me full, but the caffeine is super helpful in making sure i actually get things done and don't sit on the couch whole day. i work out a lot too and i always need coffee before and after hahaha

 

one piece of advice though: DON'T have a lot of caffeine in the evenings, especially if you're starving, because it will keep you up whole night and nothing is worse than laying in bed super hungry unable to fall asleep. a can of diet coke is fine, but stay away from coffee after 6PM (unless you're planning on staying out late or something- i always have a coffee before a night out hahahah). basically don't replace dinner with coffee

I loathe iced coffee haha. For me, coffee is meant to be hot lmao

 

I have a high tolerance of caffeine (not so much anymore) and so I never had the issue with not being able to sleep after having some coffee nor did I have the energy boost which was super shit but I'm getting that now as I drink more and it's awesome. And yeah, it's probably all the liquid anyway haha 

 

(sorry for the super quick reply I'm just constantly refreshing the page but it's 2am I need to sleep lmao)

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#8 carmen1594

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Posted 12 June 2018 - 09:08 AM

such.small.hands, on 12 Jun 2018 - 09:03 AM, said:

(sorry for the super quick reply I'm just constantly refreshing the page but it's 2am I need to sleep lmao)

hahaha no problem it's the middle of the day where i am but i'm also super bored and just refreshing this forum, glad to know i'm not the only one

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#9 spookiestghost

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Posted 12 June 2018 - 11:48 AM

yeah im pretty sure caffeine suppresses your appetite a lil or stimulates feeling full

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#10 nalalala

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Posted 12 June 2018 - 11:51 AM

caffeine gives me the shakes and i find i can't focus much so i prefer decaf coffee or decaf / herbal teas but i still have diet coke sometimes

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#11 DietCoke&Unicorns16

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Posted 12 June 2018 - 12:03 PM

I lost weight drinking diet coke, energy drinks, and some decaf sweet herbal tea's at night  to get rid of horrible cravings and hunger pangs 

So yeah it's definitely the caffeine 

Caffeine suppresses appetite and tricks your body you're full 

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carmen1594

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:20 PM

i feel like my upper arms (tricep area) are so huge compared to the rest of my body... i work out SO much and i work out my arms too, but my upper arms are always so flabby and i always gain weight there. i've literally started facetune-ing them in my instagram pics and i feel so stupid lol. does anyone else have this problem (or other "problem areas" that look disproportionately big)?

 

 

also apart from them being fat i have keratosis pilaris (look it up) on my arms so they look disgusting as well. my dad made a comment about it at dinner along the lines of "do you have a rash on your arms?" and that just put me in such a bad mood that i straight up didn't eat any dinner right in front of my family, which i try not to do for obvious reasons hahaha

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#2 drop dead gorgeous

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:21 PM

honey that small waist and long legs makes up for it

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#3 carmen1594

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:23 PM

rip mpa, on 30 Jun 2018 - 6:21 PM, said:

honey that small waist and long legs makes up for it

if only... people can basically always see your arms but they can only see your legs/waist if you're wearing tight clothing... but thank you anyway 

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:30 PM

girl you are fiiiiiiine don't worry

 

(also I facetune too if the camera catches my arms at a bad angle)

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#5 mia.darling94

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:32 PM

I totally get it. I feel like my arms are the first to get big and the last to get slim and literally ribs can be poking out and my damn arms are still huge. I tend to wear a lot of cardigans to cover it up.

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#6 carmen1594

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:32 PM

emzie, on 30 Jun 2018 - 6:30 PM, said:

(also I facetune too if the camera catches my arms at a bad angle)

glad i'm not the only one hahahaha... i have to limit it to just my arms though because honestly i could keep going until i look like barbie/kaia gerber

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#7 mia.darling94

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:33 PM

I think you look great though so it's defin the disorder talking. You look great 

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#8 carmen1594

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:34 PM

mia.darling94, on 30 Jun 2018 - 6:32 PM, said:

 literally ribs can be poking out and my damn arms are still huge

literally the rest of my body looks like BMI 16, my arms look like BMI 21 and that's being nice

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#9 65kglostsofar

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:42 PM

You’re body is beautiful I assure you that but I also totally get what you’re feeling, mine are much bigger and to make it worse, I have really board shoulders, I never wear short sleeves shirts.

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:48 PM

Ugh, I have Keratosis as well. Doesn’t help my nervous habit is to relentlessly pick at them till they bleed. I can’t wear tank tops anymore. Doesn’t help recovery jumped my BMI from 18 to 21.

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#11 carmen1594

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:49 PM

Maladyy, on 30 Jun 2018 - 6:48 PM, said:

Doesn’t help my nervous habit is to relentlessly pick at them till they bleed.

LITERALLY SAME I CAN SPEND HOURS STANDING IN FRONT OF A MIRROR PICKING AT MY ARMS IT'S SO GROSS

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#12 SisterMachineGun

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 06:50 PM

You look great! My arms are my least favorite body part too... I know how you feel, but don’t worry, people definitely notice your tiny waist and legs instead.

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#13 mouseguard

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 08:51 PM

try out glycolic acid products on your arms. apparently it helps.

i have KP too but i'm too lazy to try it. i'm super high-maintenance on facial skincare, but the rest of my body is left to fend for itself.

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#14 h3000

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Posted 03 August 2018 - 12:59 AM

I feel the same :/ I used to be terrified of doing arm exercises but it actually helps! Not eating dairy helps my KP, I am vegan, and not eating bread REALLY helps along with exfoliating but that’s just me. Everyone is different.

It could be part genetics, part inflammation of some sort (bread, dairy, hormones, etc). I would experiment with seeing if food affects it but it will take time and consistency. It’ll be ok 

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trisha paytas

Started by carmen1594, Jun 24 2018 11:41 AM

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#1 carmen1594

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 11:41 AM

soooo i feel literally so stupid for keeping up with this but...

 

has anyone been following the recent drama with trisha paytas breaking up with her boyfriend because of her eating habits?? now i feel so bad for the guy when i re-watch the videos of them eating together and trisha orders an excessive amount of gross junk food and he's just there forced to pick at it. like how can you be 30 and still not eat vegetables.

 

it's great reverse thinspo tbh..

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#2 honeybeekeeper

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 12:51 PM

i feel bad for the both of them, Trisha needs real help.

Jason also has a history with food/ over eating. i can see why she would be a constant trigger.

 

im also afraid my boyfriend thinks the same way that jason things of trisha. the whole "you would look pretty a size smaller" even after she lost all that weight. kinda makes me feel that i can never be skinny enough.

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#3 nalalala

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 12:58 PM

i don't feel bad for either of them

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 01:07 PM

Yeah I’ve been watching. I like Jason better but surprisingly I’m on Trisha’s side. He knew her eating habits when he met her, and decided to start a relationship with her and make her fall in love with him. Then out of the blue he calls her fat, and wants to break up? That’s messed up. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was using her

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#5 yugy-o

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 01:19 PM

butterbodyash, on 24 Jun 2018 - 1:07 PM, said:

Yeah I’ve been watching. I like Jason better but surprisingly I’m on Trisha’s side. He knew her eating habits when he met her, and decided to start a relationship with her and make her fall in love with him. Then out of the blue he calls her fat, and wants to break up? That’s messed up. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was using her

no dude like that's the thing. people are coming for Trisha but he knew what he was getting himself into. its not like this behavior started after they started dating, all of her mukbangs and stuff were there for him to see on Youtube so why is it suddenly a problem? 

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#6 sailordani

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 01:30 PM

I don't understand why she does that, is it for entertainment?

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#7 rinya

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 02:14 PM

I'm siding with Trisha. Even though her eating habits are quite disgusting, he knew about them before getting into the relationship. I hope she gets help so she can fix them..

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5 DAYS OF LOW RESTRICTION WHO'S W/ ME

Started by carmen1594, Jun 14 2018 07:40 PM

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#1 carmen1594

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 07:40 PM

a couple weeks ago i did 4 straight days of low restriction + exercise and i looked so good by the end of it ughhhhh need to get back there

 

5 day challenge anyone??? low restriction= whatever it means to you  for me it's a net 300 cals a day or lower

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#2 woolenlace

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 08:02 PM

In! After today this was more or less the plan anyway.

 

Low for me will be under 700. Prob 500-600.

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#3 woolenlace

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 08:03 PM

Also, this probably belongs in Competitions and Challenges.

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#4 007_greysanatomy

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 08:31 PM

Yes! I'm gonna do 800.

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#5 Skinnerella

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 08:36 PM

yesss. 400 for me.

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 09:24 PM

I’ll try my best! I think I’ll do 400 Since I’ve been reaching more than that these past few days plus I work 12 hours so I can’t exercise

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 09:54 PM

I'm in!! 

I'll do 500 cals and lower 

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ED stuff on spoiler 

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Positive things on spoiler <p>

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#8 *Mouse*

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 10:00 PM

You got this  

I have been doing 2468, with a fast between days 4 and 6 (today) 

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#9 woolenlace

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 08:22 AM

Should we do a kik or something? I'm on peach, but I could do something else.

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#10 f0rest

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 08:24 AM

600 is good enough?
thats my daily intake for a while

if yes, im in. :-)

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#11 8lychee

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 08:28 AM

SIGN ME UP

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5'6 & sad

 

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#12 PurpleCallaLily

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 08:35 AM

I'll do it! Under 600 a day for me.

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#13 Helpimjungshook

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 08:55 AM

Ill do it

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#14 BriarLover

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 10:04 AM

I'll do it with you  lo restriction for me is 650 and below 

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#15 AbbieL

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 10:33 AM

Ughhh I can’t join rn cause I’m on vacation with my mom and I have to high restrict fml I’ll have to just do my own thing starting Monday

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#16 babyz

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 12:10 PM

im in  300/lower

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#17 babyz

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 12:10 PM

im in  300/lower

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#18 nalalala

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 12:23 PM

sure why not , not like i let myself down none stop anyway

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Curbing cravings and hunger

Started by happyat100, Apr 24 2018 08:07 AM

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#1 happyat100

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 08:07 AM

Hi there!

To avoid the hellish binge I am looking for tricks and tips to curve hunger and cravings whole fasting! Besides gum 

I've been using monster absolute zero in the mornings to not get faint and give some energy and cut hunger but in the middle of fasts and sometimes while going to sleep I just get really hungry! Any ideas on how to curb hunger pains and resist cravings?

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#2 RandomPanda

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 11:37 AM

Don't overdo it with restricting.. that's the best one I've got to offer.

But for real, I'm the biggest fan of cherry flavoured pepsi  it's so nice.

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so we learned about anorexia in psych class today...

Started by carmen1594, Apr 30 2018 06:59 PM

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#1 carmen1594

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 06:59 PM

some of the highlights from other people in my class include:

- "i don't understand how someone can not eat food. food is so good!"

- "i could never be anorexic, i love food too much"

- "why can't you just force anorexics to eat in therapy?"

- "they should give anorexics food as punishment for operant conditioning if they weigh themselves too often"

 

i hate people

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 07:08 PM

These suck. That last one though, wtf. Okaaayyyyyy.
Props to you for being able to participate in psych classes. I couldn't at this point.

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#3 Username277

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 07:09 PM

I understand. I explained to one of my friends what it was and she replied " that's so stupid! Like, who does that? It makes no sense!" I so bad wanted to say I do

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#4 moonsaberries

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 07:11 PM

"I could never be anorexic, I love food too much" no one loves food as much as me, an anorexic

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Accountability

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#5 carmen1594

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 07:35 PM

moonsaberries, on 30 Apr 2018 - 7:11 PM, said:

"I could never be anorexic, I love food too much" no one loves food as much as me, an anorexic

LITERALLY like these people think anorexics just hate food or naturally are never hungry

 

meanwhile all i do is look up recipes, restaurant menus, "what i ate in a day" videos, instagram food accounts, all those cringey buzzfeed quizzes like "order at mcdonalds and we'll guess ____", etc etc

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#6 dieyet

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 07:37 PM

I remember when we learned about eating disorders very briefly in high school health class, the teacher labeled that day's lesson as "What To Do When People Are Weird"

 

Bottom line is, people are truly ignorant and should learn to keep their mouths shut  

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#7 Misconceived

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 09:14 PM

LOL. I’m a big fan of Skinner-related jokes...and that one takes the cake!

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Moved to Eating Disorder Central. Find me there under the same display name!

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#8 autumrose

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 09:20 PM

Ugh! That infuriates me for some reason... I suppose we have to remember that it's hard to imagine what it is like to have disordered thoughts/behaviors when they themselves have not ever actually experienced them.

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vegan.24.lover.

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#9 Archer

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 09:34 PM

Dude, FBT proponents actually do use extra food as a punishment. Like what are you trying to teach your child, bruh.

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Deficit hawk

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#10 ivy-cix66

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 09:40 PM

honestly even though ignorance can be annoying, i think it’s good that some people will never have to understand what it’s like to have an eating disorder

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#11 tinybrainiac

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 11:26 PM

>.> good lord I’m glad I’m not in school anymore. In my AP psych class in high school we never touched EDs other than to say that they exist. I prefer that over the aforementioned bullshit.

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 11:33 PM

When I had gym//health combo whatever last semester my teacher told the whole ass class that anorexia in men was a preoccupation with not being muscular enough and basically described ortherexia 

Lots of love

Max


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#13 

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 12:03 AM

90ssupermodelthin, on 30 Apr 2018 - 6:59 PM, said:

some of the highlights from other people in my class include:

- "i don't understand how someone can not eat food. food is so good!"

- "i could never be anorexic, i love food too much"

- "why can't you just force anorexics to eat in therapy?"

- "they should give anorexics food as punishment for operant conditioning if they weigh themselves too often"

 

i hate people

 

Let's hope none of them get into postgrad...

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#14 Heisenbυrg

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 12:38 AM

glad I'm not in school anymore

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I have a youtube channel too!

subscribe if ya want

 

(going to upload videos soon!.. more ed content and random shit)

https://www.youtube....w_as=subscriber

 

 
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Perfection and goals,
How I long to see you be whole" - S'mores

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#15 Artificial Pumpkin

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 12:42 AM

when I took psychology in college, learning about anorexia actually made me *almost* realize I had an eating disorder! it was crazy how in denial I was. I’m sorry about your dumb classmates, though. people say the most ignorant things.

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#16 Scerena

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 12:42 AM

This.. I study psychology and I swear there are two types of people those you described and the "OMG I think I am anorexic I only eat 2000 calories a day and have zero anxiety about food ain't I cool now?" type of people.

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I don't know what to write here but all the cool kids seem to have one so now I do too... 

 

 

 

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 01:01 AM

haha been there, done that

 

my highlights: 

"it's simple: people with anorexia eat literally nothing and bulimics eat everything and then throw it up" 

"they starve themselves because of the media" 

 

I had a presentation on anorexia a couple of months ago (was forced by the teacher) and I was standing there and after I was finished a classmate raised their hand and asked a question "you kind of look anorexic yourself, are you ok?" 

and my teacher must actually have thought that she was right because they started to ask some questions about my nutrition while I was standing in front of the whole class lmao 

and then she sent me to the school psychologist who was supposed to talk with me but I "forgot to come" :') 

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#18 thesunwillrise

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 01:32 AM

In health class, my teacher just compared anorexia and bulimia saying that "anorexics never eat so bulimics are better because they get some nutrition" and then spent the rest of class making up ridiculous answers to peoples' ridiculous questions. For example:

 

             Student: Wow I could never skip a meal, how do they never eat??

             Teacher: They just have something in them that makes it impossible

 

I'm not kidding he made it sound like a digestion issue. I was just developing my ed at the time, and not gonna lie, I was so hoping that I would eventually get to the point where it would be impossible for me to eat, but turns out that's just some triggering bullshit. 

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#19 901290

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 02:03 AM

god, by reading all these comments iv'e lost faith in all of humanity.

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#20 carmen1594

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 02:53 AM

meangirl, on 01 May 2018 - 01:01 AM, said:

 

I had a presentation on anorexia a couple of months ago (was forced by the teacher) and I was standing there and after I was finished a classmate raised their hand and asked a question "you kind of look anorexic yourself, are you ok?" 

and my teacher must actually have thought that she was right because they started to ask some questions about my nutrition while I was standing in front of the whole class lmao 

and then she sent me to the school psychologist who was supposed to talk with me but I "forgot to come" :') 

omg that's actually horrible i'm sorry <3

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 0Follow this topic

Kablamo

Started by nalalala, Apr 24 2018 01:20 PM

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#1 nalalala

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 01:20 PM

Spoiler 

abandoned the last kablamo because i decided i wanted all my posts to have food pictures. i also hated the layout and i didn't plan shit but now i plan my food, i take ugly as photos of my meals and i log the calories for all to see. don't be a dick please seriously i'm fragile.

 

about me:. i'm from england and i live with my parents cause i'm a sponge and i'm an almost dairy free vegetarian. the only dairy i eat is cheese which i'm cutting out of my diet at some point also i should point out that in my rants i mention not leaving the house cause although not technically diagnosed my doc says i have agoraphobia but that camhs would have to do that but they seem to think it's just social anxiety so who tf knows. i've got no one i'm friends with on here cause no one talks to me i just kinda stalk the ppoym threads on the an forum and recently (like yesterday) started posting pictures of my meals. at my heighest weight like said in my sig i was 210lbs 5'4 and at my current weight i'm 125lbs 5'8 that's also my lowest weight and i do try to keep my sig up to date. expect rants, poor quality food pics and calories. feel free to get chatty with me cause i'm lonely k also i don't care what anyone says cinnamon is fkn disgusting

 

rantntntns

Spoiler 

my teacher called home to see what i had been up to and my mum ratted me out and said that i haven't been doing any homework so my teacher said she'd pop round at some point with some work for me to do. so all day i've been online doing three maths tasks totalling 109 questions with other little questions in between, 4 science papers and two English papers. i also have some business work to do but i don't have the sheet so i assume that's what she's bringing. fuck me.also to avoid the food pics looking too similar i'm using a different mug for cups of tea and i cut up the melon this time instead of just eating it out of the skin lmao

today's intake amounts to a whopping 347 calories.

melon + coconut soya yogurt

apple and blueberry porridge + blueberries

decaf tea + almond milk

diet coke

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HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

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GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

eat a snickers

 

roast me @ my accountability 

 

 

 

 

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#2 nalalala

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Posted 24 April 2018 - 01:22 PM

the rant i promised in the first post lollll i hate my life 

Spoiler 

i had planned a day of eating yesterday that came to 264 calories for the day and i was pretty okay with it, but i was supposed to go shopping with my mum to pick up the bits and i even planned everything like the brand, the price what shop it was at and i organised the shopping list by way round the store like when you first walk in you see fruit so i wrote fruit > veg > etc and then i had a panic attack (can i even call it that?? i was being depressed and didn't want to go anywhere) and my mum went to aldi instead of tesco. no brands in aldi ffs but she got me some melon and a grapefruit that i took a photo of and ate and she bought me some alpro simply plain yogurt which is fucking heavenly so i guess it's all ok. i am quickly running out of porridge sachets again though.

 

 

 

 

yesterday's intake *i know this is backwARDS Don'T cOME fo me tHO was 369 calories

grapefruit + melon

apple and blueberry porridge + blueberries

grapes + plums

decaf tea + almond milk

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eat a snickers

 

roast me @ my accountability 

 

 

 

 

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#3 nalalala

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Posted 25 April 2018 - 07:35 AM

Spoiler 

i had the same brunch as i did yesterday so i feel bad that the pictures are very similar, also my tea's are always the same and i am sorry i just don't have a lot of safe food at the moment. a few days ago i had that switch go off and suddenly i can only eat certain foods and i can restrict again so i'm just abusing my current situation a bit lol. anyway you clicked to hear another rant aND OH BOI have i got one. sorta it's actually v shit but it sucked for me.

 

in case you weren't aware i have lost 85lbs so far and i go to school in England where we have uniforms. having lost weight i needed new clothes and my mum bought me a blazer in September when the new term started and it fit then and now it hangs off of me and is way too big so she bought a new one the other day 4" smaller than the last one and it was still too big and she got mad at me and said i was too small which is ridiculous cause i'm a healthy weight still. today she went out to get one 5" smaller than my old one (this one is a 31", the other was a 33" and my last one was 37". my old one when i started was a 40" something) this new one fitted well but the sleeves were far too short (at least an inch) and she got mad at me and said this proves that i'm too small and then i got defensive and said that's like me saying you're too fat. apparently she doesn't see those as equal statements even though they are but whatever. she proceeded to try and guilt trip me in front of my brother by asking how much i weighed and how gaunt i look and pale. even though i got my blood drawn not long ago and i was in pERFECT HEALTH. that was only slightly triggering but at least i'm not dying? 

 

i weighed in today and i am 8 stone 12lbs (124lbs) 5'8 bmi 18.9

 

update++

my mum confronted me for the second time today (aren't i lucky?) about my calories / weight. she asked how much i weighed and i told her the truth since she agreed that i could lose some more weight and she asked what had i eaten, and i told her melon and coconut yogurt she then tried to guess the calories and she guessed "not even 500" and i said defensively "i don't know i haven't been keeping track today" (lieee) and now she's pissy cause i want porridge for tea and she wants fish & chips. she's trying to calorie count for me and she's going to know that i lie to her about how much i eat and i'm kind of fucked when she realises that the reason i bought pb2 and low fat instant noodles isn't cause i'm trying to eat less fat but less calories. i don't know why i bother being honest. nothing good ever stems from it.

 

today's intake 341 calories

melon + coconut soya yogurt

apple and blueberry porridge + blueberries

decaf tea + almond milk

peach coke zero

 

2nd spoiler is about my meals being similar and a little explanation about that and something else

 

Spoiler 

so i realise how similar my photos are i mean for fuck sake this is the exact same food as my first post which is ridiculous so i've planned tomorrow's dinner and it isn't oatmeal (be proud of me you shits) also i'm really excited that in a few days i'm going to be conducting a baking extravaganza for homeless people. i'm making two cakes (one Victoria sponge and one chocolate sponge. i like to call the chocolate one Charlotte because i feel they both should have a name) and i'm also baking ginger nuts and vanilla cup cakes . also donating three of my old bras that no longer fit, two camping rucksacks and one 4 season sleeping bag. can't wait because i love baking

 

my mum told me that she thinks i should have some variation in my diet or else she'd stop buying honeydew melon and porridge oats for me. i agreed as i had been lying in bed for an hour on pinterest trying to find a meal that looks nice that doesn't have yogurt, fruit or porridge in it. so far it's looking like some roasted vegetables for tea tomorrow which might come out as less calories than my porridge. however i get a lot of anxiety eating vegetables / savoury food because it doesn't satisfy me. i always snack whereas if i have my sweetened porridge oats i don't feel the need to raid the grated cheese in the fridge at 3am. we'll see what happens to my streak of low restriction tomorrow. one more thing i ordered pb2 a few hours ago off of amazon and it's coming tomorororowowwowo and i'm already planning what to eat it with lmao. the initial plan was put it on my oats (copying heis's recent posts in the AN ppoym) or to make one of those quesadillas but with the mini tortillas instead of the huge ones. but i think now since oats are off the menu i'll mix it in my plain soya yogurt and see how that tastes.

 

 

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HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

eat a snickers

 

roast me @ my accountability 

 

 

 

 

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#4 nalalala

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Posted 26 April 2018 - 03:33 AM

Spoiler 

got sent some more art homework from school todo and it was six tasks due for next week so i thought fuck better do one a day- started reading what i had to do and got my pencils, charcoals heck i even found my putty rubber and got started only to realise they sent me 'completion' tasks. aka finish this work you already started in class / at home. i had already done 4/6 tasks and all i have left to do is finish my artist copy and write up two paragraphs. 

 

anyway back to ed related stuff

I weighed in today and i've lost since yesterday which is not normal for me also haven't had a bm for a few days so that's odd. 8 stone 11 (123lbs)

i've also realised that even though ugw is so close i won't be able to get to it. mum's on my back so i'll maintain 8 stone 7 (119lbs) checked like 4 tdee calculators this morning and my bmr is about 1411 which seems so high and each websites says my tdee is between 1600 - 1900 so i think i'll eat at my bmr for a few days when i get to 119lbs and see if i gain. i can't trust those calculators. i am kind of excited though. there's a lot of food that i have cut out my diet like crumpets or potatoes and recently noodles. i'll be able to fit them into my intake when i up it but i just think it's way too high so i might test the waters at 1100 just to make sure.

 

i'm sorry, this is the last bit of melon and yogurt i have i promise lmao

today's intake 368 calories

wholemeal toast¹⁰³ + pb2²³ + blueberries³⁷

melon⁹⁰ + coconut soya yogurt⁵⁵

roasted broccoli³⁵ + soy sauce¹⁵*

decaf tea⁰ + almond milk¹⁰

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HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

eat a snickers

 

roast me @ my accountability 

 

 

 

 

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#5 Guest_whateverittakes55_*

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Posted 26 April 2018 - 06:47 AM

Following 💜 good luck with upping your intake! You can do it!

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#6 nalalala

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Posted 26 April 2018 - 08:56 AM

whateverittakes55, on 26 Apr 2018 - 06:47 AM, said:

Following good luck with upping your intake! You can do it!

thanks and no one's ever comented on my accountability before (all 3 of them lol)  

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HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

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#7 nalalala

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Posted 27 April 2018 - 05:34 AM

 i need to tell someone what a shit show i just went through k?

Spoiler 

so i'm fucked basically. when i went to camhs my mum had to bring up the fact that i had lose like 5 stone and then i got bombarded with all the ed questions and i thought i convinced them it wasn't like that but apparently not. because they just called home to tell me when my next appointment was but also to tell my mum that because i 'refused' to maintain my weigh that i need to go for a physical with my doctor and then mum told me what they said and she got all sad and said "it's all about control" and i said I don't have a fucking eating disorder and she went on to say about how my food is the only thing i can control and all that bullshit. so she made me have some food luckily all we have in is some plain porridge oats that i topped with pb2. my physical is on wednesday and my camhs appointment is on thursday so queue high restriction and binge eating on fruits and veggies! i woke up today and i swear i was going to have a fucking stroke cause i couldn't talk properly because i was so exhausted with the low restriction. fuck me.

 

+update. mum mentioned that if i didn't maintain my weight until the next time we see camhs, they'll get an ed team involved. to me this seems so fucking stupid because i'm not allowed to lose weight which is still within the healthy weight range just because some doctors talked to me for 10 minutes about two weeks ago. i'm not eating above 1100 though. they can all succ it

 

intake so far 773 / 1100

plain oats¹⁰⁰ + almond milk³⁸ + pb2⁴⁵

broccoli⁵⁶ + mixed berries³⁷

grapes¹²⁰ + plums⁵⁰

​instant noodles³²⁰

jelly⁷

 

i hate today's intake and i feel so guilty for the shitty pictures and the junk food.

i don't normally eat such shit and i've eaten twice my intake and i'm so pissed i didn't get to 1100

but upping your intake is fking stressful. 

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HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

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#8 Guest_whateverittakes55_*

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Posted 27 April 2018 - 05:43 AM

Hun I’m so sorry 
Good luck with high restriction 💜 I think you’ll feel a million times better!!

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#9 aftergloww

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Posted 27 April 2018 - 05:51 AM

Following! Good luck with the higher restriction. I'm a big fan of it because it allows me to eat the food I love while still losing weight. 

 

Also, I love that you call the chocolate sponge Charlotte - that's a great idea to give them both names! 

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140 139 138 137 136 135 134 133 132 131

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#10 nalalala

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Posted 28 April 2018 - 11:57 AM

i was going to have roast broccoli with my dinner but it burnt whoops

 

Spoiler 

mad at myself for not doing the high restriction but i can't bring myself to eat more. i keep thinking maybe this is an issue like i've always said that i could stop anytime but now i've tried to stop and i can't. i don't want help and i don't want to be diagnosed or to see a specialist. it's scaring me a lot that i might be found out by my doctor on wednesday but it's not scaring me enough to eat more. tried to eat more like a normal person today but that didn't last long. i'm still stuck at home not talking to or seeing any of my friends. i haven't seen them for going on three weeks and it's depressing me that i can't go anywhere but other than me sulking nothing has happened today.

 

intake 396 calories

vegan fish fingers¹⁰⁹ + siracha² + asparagus¹²

plain oats¹⁰⁰ + almond milk¹⁹ + berries^18.5 + pb2^22.5

berries³⁷ + soya yogurt⁵⁰

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SW : 210 lbs 

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GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

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#11 Guest_whateverittakes55_*

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Posted 28 April 2018 - 12:05 PM

I feel the exact same way! I haven’t actually like hung out with my friends in so long. It’s really depressing 
And I know how hard and scary it is to increase your calories!! I hope your dr appt goes well hun 💕

Also what brand of fish fingers are those??

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#12 nalalala

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Posted 28 April 2018 - 12:57 PM

whateverittakes55, on 28 Apr 2018 - 12:05 PM, said:

I feel the exact same way! I haven’t actually like hung out with my friends in so long. It’s really depressing 
And I know how hard and scary it is to increase your calories!! I hope your dr appt goes well hun

Also what brand of fish fingers are those??

thanks love

and the fish fingers are quorn's xo

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CW : fat

 

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#13 nalalala

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Posted 29 April 2018 - 10:20 AM

intake 893 / 1100

it's 516 for that slice of cake. it was very nice but also very, very not worth the calories lmao

 

plain oats¹⁰⁰ + almond milk¹⁹ + berries³⁷

beetroot³⁰ + asparagus¹² + siracha²

grapes¹⁷⁷

cake⁵¹⁶

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#14 Guest_whateverittakes55_*

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Posted 29 April 2018 - 10:42 AM

Oml that cake looks so delicious. And you’ve inspired me to eat the beets I have lmao

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#15 nalalala

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Posted 29 April 2018 - 10:45 AM

whateverittakes55, on 29 Apr 2018 - 10:42 AM, said:

Oml that cake looks so delicious. And you’ve inspired me to eat the beets I have lmao

i found a jar of them in the fridge with the lid off so i had to eat them lol never realised how low cal they are xx

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GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

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#16 nalalala

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 09:56 AM

Spoiler 

yesterday night i cut on my hip and now realise that was a bad idea because the doctor might ask me to take me pants off. i asked my brother if he was going to tesco could he pick up loo roles and minestrone soup and he through a paddy saying why should he go for stuff that he didn't need and i said he'd need loo roles in the near future and he said i've just had a shit so i'll live until tomorrow without one thanks and then he told me to go and i said i can't then he said "it's not that you can't. it's that you won't even try". i started crying and then my mum told me to get a grip, man up and sort my self out. and then told me to do the dishwasher and was told to apologise to my brother and to thank him for getting me my soup. i might sound very dramatic but when you are constantly doubted, put down and blamed every fucking day by your family it really depresses you and i don't want to live anymore. i'd run away but where tf will i go and how will i leave the house. i just want to call someone and have a cry but i haven't talked to any of my friends in almost three weeks so i feel like i can't. i feel like i'm growing up too fast and i'm wasting my life being sad and feeling the way i do all the time

 

intake 1392 - there is no way to make minestrone soup look appetising sorry lmao won't eat it in the furture lol

will also poor out the soya milk into glass cause the carton is ugly af

plain oats¹⁰⁰ + almond milk¹⁹ + berries³⁷ + cinnamon²

soya yogurt²⁵ + plum²⁵ + grapefruit⁵² + vanilla soya drink¹³⁵

minestrone soup¹²⁶

 

binge

new potatoes - est 200?

unpictured wedge of cake - 516

unpictured strawberry soya milk - 155 

attempted to purge the soya milk and cake but p sure only got some of the soya milk out and scratched my throat. ow

 

these pictures are total shit my apologies

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CW : fat

 

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Posted 30 April 2018 - 01:14 PM

Mmm those berries look so summery and tasty 😋

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#18 nalalala

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 10:31 AM

Spoiler 

weighed myself today and although i know it's only food weight the number really upset me and then my friend sent me some adorable messages about her crying when she drove past my house because she was worried i might kill my self. her and another one of my friends want to stop by and see how i am because they know i haven't left the house in a while and i haven't spoken much on the gc either so that made me turn into a mad woman and clean the house spottless because i didn't know when they're coming lol. no food in the house today either hence why brunch was a very strange combo of vanilla oats with a plum and then for a snack i had some blueberry soya yogurt with some plain soya yogurt. my mum complained that i didn't eat much today so i had some boiled new potatoes but i'm not sure what the calories are since i didn't get a chance to weigh them. she's gone shopping now and hopefully bringing back melon. lord i miss melon and coconut yogurt lmfao it's such a good combo. proper weigh in tomorrow. really worried that they'll do the whole shabang and get my body fat %, height, weight, blood etc i'm also water loading for then just because i'm pissed scared but also don't want to over do it because my mum knows how much i actually weigh and if there's like a 4lb difference i can't really imagine what she might think? though in the past i've convinced her that the scales at the hospital are a few lbs off of the ones we have at home so who knows

 

was going to make rice pudding today but i'm hangry and mum's only just gone out shopping and i would normally have eaten tea an hour ago. so it's not happening today lol but tomorrow i will make some. if i can be bothered.  

 

 

 

intake 1394

i'm so ashamed. i'm so sorry

 

melon⁹⁰ + berries³⁷ + coconut soya yogurt⁵⁵

plain oats¹⁰⁰ + vanilla¹⁹ + almond milk¹⁹ + plum²⁵

blueberry soya yogurt⁷⁶ + plain soya yogurt⁵⁰

new potatoes^250?

 

binge

lotsa grapes^150? + plums⁷⁵

ginger nuts¹⁶⁵ + raspberry soya yogurt⁹³

slice o pizza¹⁹⁰

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HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

eat a snickers

 

roast me @ my accountability 

 

 

 

 

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#19 nalalala

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 06:39 AM

lol fuck me

 

MY DAD ATE MY RICE PUDDING.

Spoiler 

i made dairy free rice pudding. and it's bomb and sorta low cal  had to remake it though as dad ate half of the first batch and it was so sweet despite only have a tbsp of sugar for the whole lot. remade it without sugar the sprinkled some on top and i'm sure it will be lovely. it's currently cooling in the fridge so that i can have it for tea tonight. i just got back from the doctor and we ended up seeing my mum's friend who works there. she took my blood pressure, height and weight and told me that my bmi (prepare yourself for this bullshittery) was 19.38 and that if i lost 2lbs i would be underweight. btw according to her 18 and under is underweight and 18-25 is healthy? (lol wut?) she told me that i was healthy but that if i were 8 1/2 stone i would be underweight and sick so now mum's on my back about eating more. fuck me. i'm so pissed because i know what is and what's not a healthy weight and i promise you i am a healthy weight- and far from an unhealthy weight so she (although she's lovely) can go do one. i swear she just told me that to appease my mum and because she doesn't want me to lose any weight- that's another thing. she told me she doesn't want me to lose weight, and that i shouldn't. like i don't care what you would prefer me to do, i am my own person and then she wouldn't refer to me as my name, only as 'skinny' or 'skinny minnie' like i could refer to you as 'fatty' or some other descriptive word that you don't like and that wouldn't be okay. it just came across rude and totally unhelpful and unnecessary. i'm so pissed. i also have camhs tomorrow. i want to die.

 

also i feel like shit if i don't reply to people and don't think it's cause i'm ignoring you or being rude it's just because i stress over what to write back, or if i rush and say something silly or embarassing. it's just easier for me to like your reply and not respond. i'm not very sociable so i am sorry if i scare anyone away lol x

 

intake 623

almost got away with porridge twice in one day and then mum realised rice pudding was rice porridge so i had to have a normal meal. fuck me

 

plain oats¹⁰⁰ + almond milk¹⁹ + ginger² + vanilla¹⁹ + blackberries²⁶

unpictured raspberry soya yogurt⁹⁶ + plum²⁵

rice⁸⁸ + veg⁵⁸ + soy sauce⁹

unpictured cheese¹⁸¹

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HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

eat a snickers

 

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#20 aftergloww

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 06:43 AM

You don't have to worry about responding to people, this is your thread to write on as and when you want, and up to you if you reply! I just like reading through, I'm incredibly nosy! 

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Height: 5'1"

HW: 145lbs

140 139 138 137 136 135 134 133 132 131

130 129 128 127 126 125 124 123 122 121

120 119 118 117 116 115 114 113 112 111 

 

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#101 nalalala

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Posted 02 June 2018 - 01:25 AM

Heinz., on 02 Jun 2018 - 12:52 AM, said:

can I just say that I love your hair? like it looks like you have such thick hair

correct me if im wrong tho lmao

and take care with your steps ok hun 

 

anddddddd pls join oat wars for funsies!! who cares if you are late xx 

thank you x my hair is very thick but it's so dry and wirey not sure what to do about it or if i a multivitamin would do anything for it and i'll see if it's not too late to join oatwars xx

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HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

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#102 nalalala

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Posted 02 June 2018 - 10:11 AM

I tried to make my porridge look half decent for once.. won't be doing that again haha

 

Spoiler 

thought i would be more happy i guess, proud? idek when i got to 30k because i've been trying to do that for the past three days but ran out of time to walk. i managed it today even thought it pissed it down this morning so i was delayed but i feel worse today than i have in the past few months, my intake was too high and even though i burnt off everything i ate i feel like i should have kept walking and like i didn't do enough    i also feel like instead of trying not to binge everyday and just eat as little as i can get away with is not a good idea, i want a set intake i should have but i've never done that- i either go over it and feel like shit or i'm under it by a lot and decide i don't need the rest of my calories

i feel like shit today

 

but guess what

oat wars

oat wars makes errrrythang better

 

in 1243

out 2414

net -1171

 

adding 300 cals on top? idk might make me feel less guilty haha

 

oats with raspberries, cherries and a strawberry in coconut milk²⁰⁵

apricot soya yogurt with knockoff special k¹⁸⁴

mini lotus biscoff binge⁴⁷⁹

more cherries⁷⁵

 

finally did 30k

 

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HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

eat a snickers

 

roast me @ my accountability 

 

 

 

 

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#103 Guest_whateverittakes55_*

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Posted 02 June 2018 - 10:36 AM

Congrats on 30k!!!
I think having a set intake is a great idea! I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling shitty today, and I hope tomorrow is better!

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#104 nalalala

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Posted 03 June 2018 - 10:39 AM

Spoiler 

since i'm walking i thought i should eat at 1300, which is slightly under my bmr and in no way possible for me to gain even if i was being a lazy bum that day but ofc me had to say today that i didn't need the 1300 and ya girl planned out 724 calories and then went for a walk- burned off said calories and then binged. story of my fucking life but it's ok (that's what i tell myself at least) because now i don't have enough room in my deficit to eat my noodle dinner and instead i'm having oatmeal instead. i'm coming for you heis lmao. also it kind of works out calorie wise since my intake will be around 1300 - 1350 if i stop binging right now  

 

update+- my binge wasn't as bad as i thought and i'm still (barely) in a deficit so all is good but still fuck me so my oats aren't going to be as extravagant as they otherwise would have been, also my phone updated and now my food pics are gone? not all of them just the ones from today so maybe they didn't save before it updated. Update++ my phone didn't delete them it just got confused and made a new photos folder, so now i have pictures, photos and gallery  

 

a good portion of my steps today were from walking in circles around my house because my foot hurt too much to go anywhere else. my shoe apparently has a whole in the bottom ffs so my sock got soggy and all of my toes on said foot have blisters underneath them and they rub when i walk. ow. my feet might actually fall off and the last part of my steps (as seen on the graph lol) was from me walking up and down my hall way because i wanted to be closer to 30k but couldn't quite cope because my blisters hurt haha im such a drama queen

 

in 1827

out 2285

net -458  

 

oats with coconut milk and raspberries¹⁶⁷

oats with coconut milk, apricot soya yogurt and ppb²⁵⁸

binge   ¹⁴⁰²

 

meanwhile my family are eating takeaway and i'm just eating my oats on my own like a loner

 

 

i feel so damn guilty

• Like This

HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

eat a snickers

 

roast me @ my accountability 

 

 

 

 

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#105 nalalala

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Posted 04 June 2018 - 12:35 PM

did start calorie counting today but i've decided i don't need the added stress, i've got revision to be doing and not enough time to do it if i'm going for a 3 hour walk, doing other school work and trying to retain what little and sad social life i still have so i'm just not even thinking about calories. i'm assessing the food i'm eating and how much i eat like would a normal person eat this much? if so, eat less and then maybe you might be in a deficit but who knows, if i kinda think like that it might be less stressful and also i might stop obsessing because seriously i'm three months behind in my school work, i have so much shit to do and i just don't have time. i don't know if i want to post my photos for today because one is a nature valley bar i literally ate solely for oatwars, and the other is a bowl of rice? not sure if it's worth editing or if i could just post the nature valley bar in tomorrow's food pics and that still count? i don't see why it wouldn't cause i still ate it just not that day so idk 

 

that girl who i talk about on here sometimes, yh she messaged me very angrily on snapchat having a go at me because i screenshotted her story to take the piss out of her. she always says- like atleast once a week, if not more that she's on her period so don't talk to her so when she posted on her story that she was in the worst mood so no replies i screenshotted it, put in the group chat and said lol bet she'll say tmr she's on her period and then she messaged me having a go because i screenshotted it even though it was public and for all to see lmao logic. she called me pathetic and petty and i just lied and said i screenshotted the wrong story get over yourself and then she apologised real quick and said have a nice night and then today was all lovey dovey to me. my friend said i should have told her to fuck off and tbh wish i had because now she thinks we're cool but i still hate her lmao and someone else who i get along with really well, shes my diet buddy at school and she told me today that dieting was too hard and she offered me a bagel haha she's such a babe but she got really serious with me today and said i shouldn't keep saying i'm fat, and that even though i say it like a joke she's knows i'm not joking when i say it, she said i wasn't fat and should be proud for losing so much weight and then she said if you're (me) fat then i'm fat, and she pointed out that we're the same size which is fkn mind boggling to me but i know that i'm hella big compared to my friends because they're all size 6s and i'm a 10 also if you've seen my body checks you know what i look like and it's not even bdd. i'm just fat and she looks smaller than me even though we're both 10s because she hasn't got sagging skin all over her and most of her is muscle so i never listen to her  

 

also my scale sprung back into life today and i weigh less than i thought i did, but still more than i'm comfortable being so i'm still not sharing it sos m8

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HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

eat a snickers

 

roast me @ my accountability 

 

 

 

 

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#106 nalalala

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Posted 04 June 2018 - 02:13 PM

got my period fuck me

    

 

also

my family are killing themselves and it's like none of them care. i have two parents and an older brother who are all morbidly obese and i used to be obese but then i lost weight and none of them even attempted- except my mum who went to slimming world and lost a stone but stopped going and now she's 350+ lbs and hates her appearance but won't do anything about it. my brother really needs to lose weight and it's pissing me off how my mum almost won't let him? he said to her last week that on monday (last monday) that he was starting a diet, all healthy food no sweets / chocolate etc he'd even cut back on all the sugar in his tea but my mum that same night ordered a takeaway and she said it would be like their last 'binge' because it was saturday but a week has gone by and we've had another takeaway and my brother didn't even care, my dad will eat anything you give him as long as there's meat or else it's not a complete meal (when i cook for him cause mum's at work he has linda mccartney or quorn and doesn't even notice but as soon as he knows he refuses to eat) he doesn't like most fruit or veg and neither do my mum or brother. mum snores really loud and smokes and i just worry what if she has sleep apnea? what if she stops breathing or dies of a stroke, my dad had a heart attack two years ago and i don't get a long with my brother but im not even convinced he'll be around much longer because he gets heavily winded walking up the stairs. he doesn't go to the pub often but when he goes he drinks for five men atleast and never gets hungover or drunk or blacks out, what the actual fuck are they all doing to their bodies? they don't care and i'm going to end up on my own because they're all going to die 

 

i've told my mum how i feel and she said she'd lose weight- then didn't, dad lost a stone because he got gall stones but now he's gained it back because he 'can't get gall stones again without a gallbladder' ffs your diet will give you something worse than fucking gallstones if you don't sort yourself out but no one cares

 

i don't want to be on my own

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HT : 5'8

SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

size matters

eat a snickers

 

roast me @ my accountability 

 

 

 

 

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#107 nalalala

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Posted 05 June 2018 - 11:17 AM

Spoiler 

mum wanted me to have something before i went to school as usually i would have nothing, and then skip lunch- then eat anything that moves when i get home so instead of an alpen bar i had an instant porridge pot because oat wars lol, wasn't dairy free but to make it better i found some dope vegan chocolate that makes an awesome porridge topping   but i do feel like i'm arguing my way into eating oats for dinner again and now instead of eating the things i want to eat, i'm just eating oats. which is fine because i do love me some oats but i'm forcing myself to eat them even if i wanted that alpen bar this morning i had oats instead because of oat wars so idk i won't win lol but it's compulsive now for me to eat oats whenever i can lmao

 

do i, or do i not count calories? i have the calories for everything on a note pad but i just haven't totalled them also didn't do p.e today and my phone was off so i don't know how much walking i've done so i'm worried i might be upset about how much i've eaten? realistically it can't be over my bmr because i've had some porridge, fruit and a square of fancy chocolate (green and blacks raspberry and hazelnut if you're in the uk it's dope and vegan, the mint flavour and then plain dark one is vegan too) and four biscoffs. uhhhhh

 

est. tdee at 1800

in 954

net -846 ish

 

 

 

oats, almond milk with strawbs and raspberry & hazelnut dark chocolate

oats, coconut milk with raspberries, a biscoff and a soya banana yogurt with cocoa powder

instant oat pot (  not vegan smh )

unpictured four more biscoffs <3

 

 today was a pretty awesome food day lmao just ate oatssssss

more pics of the chocolate and strawb porridge in spoiler

Spoiler 

  

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#108 Guest_whateverittakes55_*

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Posted 05 June 2018 - 11:35 AM

I’m so sorry to hear how you feel about your families health. I fear for my family too and it’s so scary and sad 

Aren’t oat days the best though?! Mmmmmm so good

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#109 nalalala

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Posted 06 June 2018 - 11:47 AM

apparently alpen lights first ingrediant (sorta) is oats so i think that means they count for oatwars? i think it would be less confusing if instead of oat wars it was like oatmeal wars or smth like that because i think that's what it was intended for but i might be wrong idk haha also no drama today it was boring af oh and i ate half of that cookie, it was from my school canteen and it was literally the only vegetarian option they had smh guessing 500 cals? but i doubt it was 1000 for the whole thing lol but im just being sure

 

in 1200 ish

out 1750 ish

net - 550 ish

 

not counting cause life is stressing me out ok

 

 

 

alpen bar on apricot soya yogurt with strawbs. est 200?

1/2 fkn giant cookie 500?

biscoffs... 500?

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#110 nalalala

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Posted 07 June 2018 - 12:48 PM

i'm a piece of shit

i am a piece of shit

i'm such a piece of shit

Spoiler 

 

that girl (her code name at school is food colouring lmao i feel like i should explain this. in science my teacher gives out oreos or haribos to students who do well in his class and he used to give out mary land cookies but he gave me some haribos and i said no ty i'm veggie and he gave me a cookie lmao and i said no ty i don't eat dairy so now he uses oreos haha and we were all talking about biscuits and who in our group was which ingredient of the cookie / cake / muffin and basically i'm the eggs because no one likes me unless i'm with someone else haha and my bff is the sugar cause she's sweet etc and this girl i hate is the food colouring because she's artificial, tasteless and too much of her ruins everything )

our group made up with this girl after all the arguments we've had, we all just decided that what happened has happened and forgave this girl but today she was a total fucking bitch for no reason. she borrowed a pencil sharpener off of my friend and then lobbed it back at us when she was done and the lid popped off so pencil shavings went everywhere, then snapped at me when i asked her to pick them up. then at lunch she told my friend to 'move out of the fucking way' when we were walking past her and then she called my friend a bitch under her breath so i went ape shit because i'm loyal af and called her a dumb cunt and she said 'that's rich' so ofc i got in her face and we screamed at each other then walked away. next period when i talked she kept telling me to shut the fuck up because she was trying to listen, and just petty shit like that. i asked her partner for some help and she said if i had half a brain i could do it myself and then her partner had no idea tf was going on so just gave me her sheet and then the girl snatched it off of me so i just said that it's not your work, soph wants her sheet back and shit like that and she said something under her breath so i went ape shit again lmao she walked out and dragged her partner out with her and then they came back in like 20 mins later and i got snap chatted today with all the lies she spewed when she walked out.

 

apparently me and my friend were slagging her off at break and lunch which is bs because it was the end of lunch when we walked onto the field where she was and also the pencil sharpener thing happened in 4th period- before lunch and 2 periods after break so how tf where we slagging her off at break when we didn't fall out until 2 hours later -.- i screen shotted the snap chat and sent it to my friends and they messaged the bitch having ago at her and tmr i'm sure i'll have updates on the tea lmfao i hate this bitch

 

back to ed stuff lol today i had a massive wee and i weighed myself this morning and i managed to wee out 5lbs since last night also had a bm but can't re-weigh because my scales have died again? also had some unpictured chips from the local fish and chip shop because i was feeling pathetic cause my period is so fkn painful idk why, i hardly bleed but it hurts so bad it's crippling. even bought some new kinds of tea and i hate fruit teas because they taste like heated up orange juice or some shit like that and i hate herbal teas because they taste like soil, but earl grey i actually really nice   had two cups of that and it's decaf so hopefully i won't have so much diet coke now cause that ish keeps me up all night unfortunately i discovered decaf earl grey after i put chocolate on my oats so i still had caffeine today whoops

 

today was the first time i ate banana for a v long time and i still hate it, makes me feel sick but i have some sores on my feet and i think banana skin helps with that for some reason?

 

in 1199

out 1751

net -563

 

 

 

 

decaf earl grey teas⁰

oats with almond milk, banana and vegan chocolate²²⁸

blackberry soya yogurt with special k and strawbs¹⁷¹

unpictured chips^800?

 

i feel so guily today, i don't know why

for the past few days i've just felt compelled to purge, but i haven't but i feel like i should

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#111 Guest_whateverittakes55_*

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Posted 07 June 2018 - 01:21 PM

Wow that food coloring girl sounds like such a piece of work! It’s sucks you have to deal with her!!

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#112 nalalala

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Posted 08 June 2018 - 08:49 AM

food pics later rant first ok

 

just got in from school and holy shit what a day lmfao 

the girl from yesterday was being such a shit today, she's been slagging me and my friend off to anyone who will listen and i'm friends with just about everyone so i was told what she said and it's total bollocks apparently since i've come back i'm a lot meaner, i'm too faced and i try to act like a 'hard man' and i've come back with a new image. also whilst i was off for like 3-4 months ish everyone was asking my friends why i wasn't at school and this girl said that she knew but wouldn't tell anyone and someone in my class asked her today and she said that even though she hates me she still has some respect for me and wouldn't betray my trust by telling them so i went over to the guy who asked her today and said it's not because she has an ounce of decency in her it's actually because she didn't know and then she got a bollocking from him too. she keeps doing petty shit like moving seats in class, or holding a book up if i glance at her or grunting at me / shoulder barging me and my squad when we walk in the same fucking hallway it's pathetic. she was telling everyone that i've been slagging her off all day and how i was a passive agressive shit and that's why we're arguing at the moment which is bs because she told me friend to 'move out of the fucking way' for no reason. that's why we're arguing like ffs

 

i tried to be the better person and make things right again and we were talking, she was confessing to everything she's been saying and then she started saying things like well i was in a bad mood that day and i took it out on you and (my friend) because you were just there, i told her that she always puts the blame on someone else like she is now and that she can't accept when she's wrong and that she'll only ever admit to stuff that doesn't make her seem like a cow which is all true, she went off on me and put her finger in my face and shouted 'Who the fuck do you think you are? do not raise your voice at me' and throughout this whole argument i didn't raise my voice at all, i prefer a very condescending tone lmao so i walked off and then her friend came to me a few mins later and said got no idea what you did but she's calling you every name under the sun rn 

 

oh btw i didn't get beaten up even though she said she would if i talked to her

there's a 'popular' girl who likes me and got on my bus today and she asked me about all of this and now she's having a go at her on sc and she said if she's at school monday someone's getting smacked  

 

also she started a rumour about me not eating / being bulimic

and then i had a go at her and cried in the toilets with her friends and they all believed me lol so now no one thinks i have an ed anymore- and now this girl is saying she used to be bulimic.  

 

.

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#113 nalalala

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Posted 08 June 2018 - 12:50 PM

i feel so guilty, i'm not going over my calories and i'm not gaining i'm actually losing for once and shit i feel so bad

i just feel like purging but i can't because my brother's in his room next to the loo but idk i feel so shit

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#114 nalalala

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Posted 08 June 2018 - 01:49 PM

ended up purging and saw that thread on the bulimia forum of taking a picture of your post purge face and did that but i managed to get a picture of me with drool hanging off of my lip so i dont want to post it but that's what that thread is for lol so idk i might

 

in 1349

out 1737

net -388

 

 

 

 

 

apricot soya yogurt with rasps and special k

rich tea biscuits with an unpictured decaf earl grey tea

chips and siracha mayo

one huge orange lol

 

the day started off healthy and then i felt guilty and then ate just what ever was around and turns out it was rich teas and chips with siracha mayo.. they were a bitch to get back up

 

half of my bb face post purge ft. my loose skin and body check pre purge 

did get a proper pic of my face but i look so gross and my hair... oh god my hair so i dont wanna post it sos 

Spoiler 

 

 

   

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#115 nalalala

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Posted 09 June 2018 - 01:16 PM

Spoiler 

went out into town with my girl gang lmao it was amazing, my friend puked in costa because she said she felt like she was going to puke (the combo of luxury salted caramel chocolate buttons and a cheese toastie from costa was likely to blame) and then when she went in the loo with me to vomit, she did it hands free (duh normal people only puke when they feel like they need to and its not like she purging omg not everyone has an ed dumb me lol) and so quiet, cleaned up and was out in less than 3 mins. wish i could purge that fast and hands free haha my friends peer pressured me into getting fake nails or as i call them- bird talons and i can't do anything now even typing this is taking 10x longer than usual

 

bought two new tops, vitamin e cream, body sprays and some organic teas from holland and barret. i was looking for dandelion tea but they only had dandelion, burdock and hawthorn tea and the second ingrediant was liqurice so no ty lol bought some echinacea tea and rosehip tea, the rosehip one is 50% rosehip and 50% hibiscus and both of the teas taste so nice  i've had so much tea today lmao had earl grey in costa, two earl greys before i left and i've had two rosehip teas and one echinacea tea since coming home and echinacea means hedgehog lol how cute  

 

didn't feel hungry so i ate cookies for tea whoops also that oatmeal this morning wasnt that nice cause the strawbs were going bad so they were all nasty and mushy but really sweet so it was ok

 

and it just dawned on me. how tf do you purge without scratching your throat when you have fake nails?  

 

in 2031

out 2005

net +26

 

lmao i think this is pretty much a maintaining day whoops

 

 

 

 

 

two huge cookies and almond milk⁷⁷⁸

apricot soya yogurt with special k and strawbs¹⁶⁰

oats, almond milk, strawbs and ppb²⁵¹

banana and a square of green and blacks¹⁴³

mini baguette^449?!

 

part of friends cookie^250?

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#116 nalalala

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Posted 10 June 2018 - 02:17 AM

didnt sleep also decided cause ima fat shit im fasting

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Posted 10 June 2018 - 03:10 AM

Fake nails are a blessing and a curse! I feel so helpless when I have them lmao

Those teas sound super good!! It’s nice to hear you had a good day!

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#118 nalalala

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Posted 10 June 2018 - 10:44 AM

haha bpbpbpbpbpbpbbpbp on everything in sight

 

gonna try not to calorie count because after a very emotional breakdown today my family agreed to be healthier

my brother said he'd have sweetener in his tea instead of sugar and my mum agreed to let me have two meat free days a week. we tried this before but my brother is the type of person to eat twice as much mac donalds just because i don't eat mac donalds so he always ate a bacon bap or smth before having the meal i would make so it wasn't actually a vegetarian day but i went shopping with mum and i didn't let her buy ham or beef paste or corn beef so there's nothin to make a sandwich out of lmao. she also got me some linseed for my porridge because she told me that if they were being healthier i had to be as well so no porridge for tea anymore smh and veggies have to be something i eat :<

 

fasting was a thing today but because i am literally the epitome of health i had a b/p on chickpea stuffing balls, bread, potato (+veg ew) soya yogurts, flapjacks, cookies, four peaches and four apricots. confident i got most out but had to stop for a while to take my nails off but then continued. ate the soya yogurt because i scratched up my throat 

 

lasted since 9:59pm yesterday (annoys me it's not bang on 10) until like an hour ish ago so 5pm   

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#119 nalalala

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Posted 10 June 2018 - 03:05 PM

i messaged that girl on snapchat and said "hey can we talk without either of us getting mad?" this was on friday and she replied saying "yeah sure but can we do it later since i'm out with my mum?" when she got back i was already asleep so i said on saturday that "i won't be able to talk until late since i'm out with the girls" and she messaged now saying "do you want to sort things out now? sorry i haven\t messaged you sooner this weekends been a bit mad x" i replied "weekend has been a bit mad for me too sorry i really don't feel like talking at all today can we talk tmr? x today's just been a bit shit in general x" she said "oh okay that's absolutely fine i'm sorry about that! hope you feel better!! x" i thanked her and thought damn she must be in a good mood because she's never that kind. ever. even when we get a long she's still has a certain snobbiness about her and guess what i was right a little while later she puts something on her story and holy shit it was definitely about the drama between me and her and it made me think she was probably being sarcastic when she said "oh okay that's absolutely fine i'm sorry about that! hope you feel better!! x" because she uses "!!" and idk it just seems sarcastic now that i re-read it. she screenshotted smth and put this on her story "i used to be scared of losing people until i realised most of them were never really down for me anyways. even though my loyalty and love for them ran deep they couldn't care less. so instead of being scared of losing them, i fell back and watched them lose me... wow growth." and how tf in her twisted brain is she loyal? she used me and my girl gang- she has called me 'fiercely loyal' and when we've argued she said that i'm 'too loyal for my own good and can't see the shit in people' (trust me babe i see the shit in you) but no if she's loyal then im deffo not lmao

 

UGH I HATE HER SM

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#120 kittyjems

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Posted 11 June 2018 - 12:25 AM

jeez, sorry for popping up outta nowhere but i've been following ur accountability and that girl sounds like a real pain in the backside holy moly

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nalalala

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Posted 11 June 2018 - 10:48 AM

pistachio☆, on 11 Jun 2018 - 12:25 AM, said:

jeez, sorry for popping up outta nowhere but i've been following ur accountability and that girl sounds like a real pain in the backside holy moly

lmao i say this everytime i talk about her but holy shit, she's dragged me through hell and back

i get angry just thinking about her lol

 

today she called me a dumb cunt, bitch etc etc nothing new there and then she pushed my friend into some cricket wickets and they were those metal ones so now she's got a nasty bruise on her shoulder. she also got in my face and said "who the fuck do you think you're talking to?, Do you know who i am?" and me being the passive agressive snarky lil shit i am said "i think i'm talking to you" and she looked all pissed and put her hand in my face and wouldn't talk to me 

 

jrjgrjg I HATE HER

 

also i was trying to sort shit out on friday and then she wasn't around friday cause it was her dad's bday and then saturday i was out with my girl gang so we didn't talk and then fkn sunday night she msgs me and i just wasnt in the mood because i had fallen out with my family and she seemed really sarcastic then put something on her story that was so obviously about me and then denied it being about me today. so ofc me being me i put on my story somethings obviously about her and then denied they were about her

 

im such a bitch haha

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#122 nalalala

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Posted 11 June 2018 - 11:34 AM

also binged today but i really don't want to purge because it's been too long and i had curry for tea

not sure what my intake is exactly but it's about 3150 but that's likely an underestimate because idk the calories in a cookie from my schools canteen but shit they're good

 

pictures from before i binged

 

 

 

apricot soya yogurt and watermelon

plain soya yogurt, cereal with strawbs and bluebs

homemade curry and rice

 

then binged.

do i, or do i not purge

that is the question

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#123 nalalala

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Posted 11 June 2018 - 12:35 PM

im really frustrated right now

also i tried to purge but now my throat is burning so no, it's not happening and i'll have to deal with the weight gain

 

why the fuck can't i just restrict? seriously it's silly now ffs i've gained 15lbs since my lw (my sig is wrong ill update it) 

i keep binging

i keep eating

i keep failing at fasting

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#124 nalalala

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 01:25 PM

I hate my appearance, i hate all the drama i have in my life right now, i hate how i upset people and i hate the way i feel about everything i can't change. nothing has really happened to make me feel so depressed but i woke up a few days ago with a funk i can't shake off. i haven't been binging but i've been not restricting i guess and i know i've gained and haven't been counting but i don't care because it's like nothing matters, no one matters i just want my life to be paused? it's like life is moving so fast and i'm only existing, like i need a breath but i can't get one. i feel so sick, so tired and so upset and hurt and i just don't want to be alive but i don't want to be dead either. i don't feel alive right now i feel like i'm watching someone else's life and like i'm not here. i don't know what to do anymore i have nothing left. i just want to cry and i don't know why or understand why i'm feeling like this and reading, or sleeping isn't helping i just feel more tired and more broken whenever i try to relax. i can't think straight anymore. 

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#125 nalalala

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 02:55 PM

because of my measurements right now i can assume i weigh something around 140 - 146 lbs ish

definitely over 10 stone though and i hate myself for that. i think i'm at work with my mum tomorrow and possibly sunday too so i could fast but im shit and normally when i come home i just eat everything so i don't know yet but i do feel a lot better and like i've gotten something out of my system. i feel horrible and guilty and it's 11pm, was 10:47pm when i stopped eating so i'll fast for 1-2 days and this time i won't fuck up. hopefully. i say that everytime guess im just used to disappointing myself

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#126 nalalala

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 01:46 PM

lol fasting was dead easy but i had to eat with my parents for tea because i over used the excuse "im not hungry yet" so i c/s a slice of stuffed pizza crust, est 500 for that (guessing thats what it would be but if i had swallowed but still counting it as if i did) and then i had 278 on shit like diet coke, sugar free polos and an overpriced coffee from starbucks didn't realise it would be 119 calories whoospies normally after fucking up like i have today i'd have said oh well might as well binge but this is the first day that ive been more chill and its also the first day that my intake has been this side of 2000 haha 

 

in 789*

out 1701

net -912

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#127 nalalala

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Posted 18 June 2018 - 06:18 AM

lol everyday is shit and i hate myself but literally everyone has said that on this site at least once. probably. actually i dont know there are a lot of postive polly's on this site.

yesterday didn't post because i got in from work and just slept, then woke up- in my delirious state i ate some crumpets and real pb but now im confused because i can't find the jar so i don't know if i ate like a tbsp or the whole fucking thing? but i know i ate it because i found the lid lmao and the plate i used 

 

today however im ill so fasting should come easy lol when i was a kid and was ill my mum could only ever get me to eat a handful of things. quavers, lucozade, apricot yogurts and rich teas

now i hate quavers because there's a quaver and wotsits factory near where i live and the smell has put me off, hate lucozade except the red one and they don't sell that in stores near me for some reason? so today my mum gave me the last few broken peices of rich teas in the bottom of the biscuit tin with my last apricot soya yogurt (they've been hidden under tin foil in the back of the fridge)  she also made me an earl grey but i forgot about so i wasted a tea bag then made myself a cappuccino that i didn't realise was 81 calories until i had made it, twas also made with skimmed milk powder so not even dairy free  

 

yesterdays input is unknown but my output was 2181 (did 19k steps but my fit bit is shit and doesn't save my walking steps to the right day, not sure how to fix it that's why i use my phone but my phone died yesterday :/ so i just added the steps together and then googled the calories burnt, then added another 150 cause i was lifting heavy shit all day and walking a Labrador called bomber who had to mound every female dog walking near us. and i know that i very likely burnt a lot less than i think i did but i don't fucking know help me haha)

 

+got chippy for tea, i picked at some chips and mushy peas, google said it was around 600 calories but i swear it was more than that so im counting today as 900 ish

 

in 900?

out 1711

net -811

 

ish

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#128 nalalala

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Posted 18 June 2018 - 10:50 AM

im getting self conscious about having my hand in my photos now, i've gained weight and my wrist is getting fatter and i can hardly get my fingers round it anymore 

 

shit man

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Posted 18 June 2018 - 04:04 PM

hey hun i just caught up!

i'm sorry you're not feeling the greatest! but i have so done that with peanut butter before!!!

woken up and been like... hm. well i see the plate with peanut butter on it, where is the peanut butter?? and been like o shit lol so i'm sorry i kinda chuckled at that! 

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#130 nalalala

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 05:56 AM

whateverittakes55, on 18 Jun 2018 - 4:04 PM, said:

hey hun i just caught up!

i'm sorry you're not feeling the greatest! but i have so done that with peanut butter before!!!

woken up and been like... hm. well i see the plate with peanut butter on it, where is the peanut butter?? and been like o shit lol so i'm sorry i kinda chuckled at that! 

i have a little giggle when i think about it now but it's annoying me that i can't find the jar  

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#131 nalalala

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 12:36 PM

guess who's back? back again.. dun dun dun

is that how it goes lol smth like that

 

i dont have much to talk about except my brother's awful drinking habits

 

my brother went to tesco because i wanted coke and im sick at the moment so him being the loving brother he is (not) went for me but only because he wanted hooch and because i was paying lol he drank the whole thing in one go.. he went to belgium a few months ago with his friends because there was a ferry trip for like 20 quid (would put the pound sign but ffs my keys have swapped on my keyboard for some reason so now i have to copy and paste, the quote sign, hashtag, at sign and the pound sign lollll) and he brought back this huge beer glass thing because he won some drinking competition. he was in belgium for less than a day and came back stinking of booze and he wasn't drunk and didn't get hung over. i was in awe lol whenever i used to drink i was such a light weight but that might be because i was fairly light when i drank and he's morbidly obese? who knows

also i dont remember if i put this already but when my scales worked again after not working for like a few weeks i was 9 stone 8 1/2 lbs and now even though i have been b/ping i feel like i look smaller than i did then but i know that makes no sense and i've definitely gained but idk i just swear my stomach and thighs are smaller but my wrist is fatter lmao im a wreck

 

in 1362

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when im sick biscuits and tea is my favourite thing lol

 

also update on the peanut butter jar

my mum had my dad make her some raised planters for the garden because she's growing strawbs and toms and some other stuff like asparagus that takes 4 years to grow   im not even exagerating, she's growing them from seeds and she thinks im wrong because the packet said 18 months but that's for the crown to grow and then you have to wait around 4 years total for the actual asparagus to grow smh. my dog likes to burry her bones and biscuits in two places 1) the sock bag and 2) her planters and today she was digging up my dog's bone she burried earlier and that's where we found the pb jar lol she was laughing and brought it to my room 

 

im curious how she fitted the pb jar in her mouth tbh  

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#132 nalalala

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 02:23 PM

my pictures where really ugly today lol like uglier than usual, i couldn't find a way to make cucumber and siracha mayo look pretty and forgot to take pictures of a few other things. but. i had a really good intake today  but that was only down to still being ill, my gums being painful because they're receding / peeling because i'm brushing my teeth three times a day lmao and using moutwash daily (apparentrly you're not supposed to do that yolo) and me being back at school woo.. got two exams tomorrow that i didn't know about and wasn't there when we learnt about what the fucking test is about so i have to wing it lol, it's only a mock but it determins what set i'm in next year and i don't want to move down so i need to actually revise on what little notes i have for once 

 

drama with my best friend aswell- in a nut shell she thinks we all ignore her, take the piss out of her and don't actually like her which is bullshit because i love her to pieces and i would die for her any day. she knows i love her because i don't stop telling her and she's the first person i go to about any shit that's going down in my life and she comes to me too, i've got in fights for her and i've iso for her too lol but when she says "it's like none of you actually like me" it's a slap in the face because i've stuck up for her so many times and it's like she doesn't care, i'm reading into it too much because that's not what she meant but ya know it's me. i messaged her on sc and she didn't reply then put on her story "more ignored that a 17+ rating" but we're not ignoring her, she's ignoring us.. i'm going to try and fix everything tomorrow since it's kind of my fault (even though i've done nothing she's just being moody) she's a bit like me when it comes to food, ya know.. no self restraint but feels super guilty about eating anything bad lmao i kind of think she's disordered to an extent if i'm being honest. her favourite things are pretzels but mini cheddars are lower cal so i bought her a bag as well as some baby plum tomatoes because we talk about food sometimes and she mentioned probably a year ago that whenever her dad goes to tesco he buys the cherry tomatoes instead of the baby plum ones because they're cheaper but not as nice. i do listen and i do remember these things :/ just wish she knew how much i really care

 

in 587

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#133 nalalala

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 02:26 PM

note to future self, sriracha mayo (though much nicer than regular sriracha) is higher calorie than regular sriracha, it's 51 calories per table spoon where as regular sriracha is 24  

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#134 nalalala

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Posted 21 June 2018 - 01:24 PM

in 901

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Posted 21 June 2018 - 01:53 PM

LOL @ the pb mystery!!
Sorry to hear about your friend situation!! It’s so sweet of you to get her the plum tomatoes and mini cheddars! I’m sure she will love it!

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#136 nalalala

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Posted 22 June 2018 - 09:39 AM

mum bought regular peanut butter to replace the one my dog ate because she forgot i buy ppb now but i still ate a lot of it. today started out really well food wise because i planned a head for me wanting to eat more during in exam season (lets be honest i always want to eat more- and most of the time i do actually eat more because i have no restraint) i planned to have around 1100 - 1350, and my net would be -600/-400 ish but today i have consumed all of my calories and it's like 5 from just eating peanut butter. this is why i can't have nice things lol but im not actually hungry so i won't eat later i guess. not to fussed but just wish i hadn't eaten so much because i bought a nature valley bar for today but now i can't have it

in other news, mum is trying to help me hate myself less lol there are no gyms near me only a weight den where all of the men on steroids go so i won't be going there (we don't live in the best area haha) so instead she's picking me up some trainers, and we're going to get a bike at some point because she wants one too so we can go on bike rides together which i'm dreading because she tried coming on a walk with me like a month ago and she got once around our village before being winded and had to call my dad to pick her up, she's so out of shape.. i will resume walking once exams are over and mother might be joining me lol. it's the weekend now so i could go walking tomorrow but there's this thing called revision and coursework that takes priority. i don't really have time to spend 4 hours wandering around the fields at the moment  

 

today i hardly moved thanks to exams, i was sat down without moving or stretching my legs for three hours and then i got a 15 minute break before i had a history exam. fuck me. i didn't sleep last night because i was stupid and leant my book to my friend so she could revise forgetting that i needed to revise haha so she called me and we revised together through snapchat, also the teachers are supposed to prepare you for exams but what the actual fuck do you do if there is a spider on your desk? no one ever told me what to do haha today during my maths exam a fucking spider crawled up the leg of the desk and i let out a weird mute scream, and i smacked the table leg to get rid of it and i knocked the table over (it was one of those shitty flimsy ones they only use for exams so you can't cheat) it was very dramatic but the spider was huge

 

a girl from my old school (i moved schools because i was getting picked on for being fat like three years ago) messaged me on snapchat because i posted a picture of me and my girl gang on my story and she said she couldn't figure out who i was lol so that was nice, but i hate people asking me anything about weight loss it just annoys me and i wish none of my friends knew me when i was obese. they all say how proud i should be but why should i be proud for getting to an obese weight that jeopardised my health and sanity lmao

 

in 1758

out 1709

net -51

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#137 nalalala

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Posted 22 June 2018 - 02:32 PM

I'm almost certain i'm lactose intolerant but my mum doesn't believe me when i say dairy makes my stomach ache and bloats me, she thinks i'm just saying it because i want to be a vegan but she won't let me and it's begining to piss me off

i said today can we go to the doctor to see if i am actually lactose intolerant and she just said she 'doesn't want to deal with my vegan bullshit' and also i feel like such a shit because i've watched all those gross videos about the dairy and animal farms and i still eat dairy and eggs sometimes. i hate eggs but the nature valley bar has milk in and so does my other cereal bars, biscuits etc i could give them up but mother buys them especially for me. even offered to buy my own groceries and she said if i'd have it my way i'd spend all my money on diet coke, coffee and my beloved yogurts which i have to admit would be ideal lol

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#138 nalalala

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Posted 23 June 2018 - 05:40 AM

mm this one's been binging today

currently 1:40pm and i've had 2300 ish

 

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#139 nalalala

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Posted 23 June 2018 - 11:06 AM

don't open the spoiler lol it's just me spilling my life story haha because i was really depressed today and was feeling nostalgic as hell

 

Spoiler 

lol i've been doing this shit for years and sure i lost a lot of weight but i still need to lose more and all of a sudden i can't? i just keep binging every time i restrict and i thought why the fuck am i binging because it's certainly not that i've been restricting for ages and a binge was just inevitable, and i'm certainly not malnourished. when i binge i do it when no one is home / around, when there's an open container of something e.g pringles or nuts, when i overate anyway so i say fuck it, or when i don't have my safe foods, or when i think 'one binge doesn't matter' every time i binge, the next day after i say i'll just fast today and it'll be okay, but then i can't fast because i binge again. my next thought is 'i'll just get my cravings out my system and then i'll restrict tomorrow' but i never do end up restricting. it's really upsetting me and today i had planned a whole day of food but i didn't have some of the things i needed and the local co op and tesco didn't have them either so i binged instead? where's the logic in that? i looked over my old food diary that i found behind my wardrobe, used to hide my razor there too but mum took that when she found out i was cutting. really surprised she never found the diary. i was going over some of the notes i had made to make restricting easier. this was at the peak of my disorder when i never binged (never.), very low calorie, clean diet, lots of fasting, low fat, no pasta/bread/rice etc and no diet foods because they were full of sugar or fat or nasty chemicals because my mum convinced me they would make me gain. during that time i had so much will power haha, i hated myself so much and when i was fasting, that was final there was no room for fuck up. if i was fasting you damn well bet i was fasting for a week and there was one note i remember writing on a sticky note that was basically me whinging over breaking my fast with a few cashews and a raisin. when i broke my 5 day fast with cashews and a raisin i didn't say well fuck it, i just restarted my fast and when i said i'll do better next time- i did actually do better next time. i want to have the willpower now but when i read the diary i was remember what i was like at that time and i was very sad, and i hated myself so much, i got to my lowest weight and then i gained 20lbs ish and then i started my accountability on here (not this one an old one) i had been lurking for a long time but (i'm going to sound very rude and insulting don't hate me) i never wanted to make an account. i had this misconception that everyone on eating disorder forums were just fakers, and they didn't know what they were talking about when it came down to dieting or anything lmao i couldn't have been more wrong. when you lose a lot of weight or when you go from being obese to underweight then back to almost overweight a few times people talk to you about weight loss and i've had a few people at my school and even a few of my mum's friends who failed at diets ask me 'how?' and no one ever knew what it was like, or how embarassed i felt when they asked that. i just wanted to tell everyone what i had been doing but i didn't want anyone to stop me, i just wanted someone to know and someone to talk to. i had counselling at school and at camhs but camhs we're very cheeky and got out of doing work whenever they could actually they cancelled my apointment probably about a month ago and called to say they'd reschedule and lo and behold they haven't called back yet and are ignoring the emails my school has sent, when i was with them the first time they told me that i had wasted their time and my slot could have been used for a more adequitte case and they just shuffled me out the door so i got counselling at school. and it was helping, when i first went i was stiff and quiet and i couldn't talk or move i was so on edge but after a few sessions (2x weekly) i got really close and used to my counsellor. she was called kerri and i was going to tell her everything but when she called me in she told me that we wouldn't be having a usual session that day because she had some news for me. she was moving to california and i asked when will you be back? she said she wouldn't and i cried, completely broke down and stopped eating (got back down to my lowest weight) i got a new counsellor but it wasn't the same and i hated her. after a total of four counsellors i gave up trying to have a relationship like i had with kerri and i decided i was just going to bumble along, lose weight and somehow all of my problems will go away once i was small. i was feeling light headed all the time and my stomach was rumbling so loud and the teachers joked "some one get this girl some food haha" and then they'd ask how my diet was going. i don't really know why i'm writing this but earlier today i got so sad and that's why i started reading my diary in the first place. i was going to take some medications i found in the cupboard but my first thought wasn't "maybe i should get some help" or "i should call someone" it was "i can't die yet i still have weight to lose" and now i'm so depressed, i'm tired and i just want to hunch over and cry. i guess i'm venting in case i do do something and i never told anyone. 
 
I have so many stories from quite a few years ago, whilst i was at school (before i moved) i would binge on all the cheap canteen shit and then spend all of lunch in the pool or in the school's gym, then i would go home and not tell my mum or anyone what i had eaten, i would sneak food and hide the evidence and then eat dinner as well. i've said before that my family are not healthy and their diets at this point were a lot worse than they are now, in an average day i would have cereal or toast, sandwiches, panini and a large cookie and a tiffin, some sort of processed shit for dinner and then chocolates, bread, jam straight out of the jar.. i never stopped eating. and i gained a lot of weight, i was around 5'4 and 210lbs when a boy in my class told me i should just go starve, and that night i went home and i took a long, hard look at myself in the mirror and i hated myself. i had realised how big i actually was and decided to do something about it. i knew no healthy balance, i only do one extreme or the other, and that's my approach to basically everything haha i stopped eating that night and accidentally fasted for that school weak, come Saturday and my mum wanted to weigh me because i had told her i wanted to lose weight, she said we'd start our diets together that weekend (she didn't know i had previously weighed myself) i weighed a bit over 14 stone (i went from a very high carb / high sodium diet to nothing) i wasn't thrilled like i would be now, i was disappointed because i still weighed so much but i did know that it would take a while to lose weight and as time went on i obviously lost weight slower because i had no water weight to lose. i was disheartened and very depressed but that only drove me to keep going, i kind of realised what i was actually doing and i remember thinking "i don't want an eating disorder", it was when i was watching supersize vs superskinny (i didn't know that was something a lot of people on here watch at that point haha) and i was planning my intake for the next day. i had an epiphany and i stopped doing this for a while and switched to a non restrictive, very healthy and clean diet. i stopped binning my lunches at school, flushing my dinners (i have a story about that too) and fasting and i lost weight the healthy way. i joined my mum's slimming club and there i was told by the woman who works there (i don't know what her job title would be haha, weight loss coach maybe?) that if we restricted ourselves overtime our bodies would hang onto fat (starvation mode) because it thinks we're in a famine lol you know how it goes and i was scared shitless and i just ate whenever i was hungry, ate proper meals and what not and somehow i was still losing weight. and very fast. i started looking over my weight loss notes and i was losing 3-4 lbs a week. and then i fell down the rabbit whole again when i was lurking on here but i must have been somewhat disordered before hand to have been on here anyway.. i read about starvation mode and bmrs/tdees and so began my fasting again lmao (that woman at the slimming club was a nutter, she exposed me to what c/s was because it was apparently a way to indulge without breaking my diet..)

 
 
ashley when you comment on here, my face lights up because someone knows what i'm doing (even if it's just me failing at restricting or binging) it's like i'm telling someone everything and that person is listening. it means the world to me and it just helps me not to feel quite as alone

and heis when you commented on here lmao my face.. i can't.. lol i got so happy 

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#140 nalalala

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Posted 25 June 2018 - 02:44 PM

24th fasted to offset the binge i had on the 23rd, 100 ish calories on almond milk in tea and coffee + some coke cals too

 

in 100

out 1700 ish

net - 1600

 

25th oops

 

in 1555

out 1860

net -305

 

today's intake was higher than i planned because i got confused on the portion sizes of muesli, i don't have any accurate / digital scales and i only have this shitty one from like the 60's where you have to balance weights, since a portion of cereal is typically a cup i assumed a 45g portion of muesli would be a cup but when i weighed it, it ended up being 1/2 a cup as a portion :/ but it tastes really nice and i'm feeling really chill since i'm still in a deficit and i stuck to a plan for once and sorry for no pictures lately, i'm trying to get my shit together and honestly my food is so random right now i'm kind of ashamed to show some of my food combos haha

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Posted 25 June 2018 - 04:59 PM

ohhh hun i'm sorry to hear about your binge cycle, i know how frustrating those are!! you are so not alone!

and don't be ashamed to show your food.. i get like that too! i'm like jesus people are going to think i'm nuts.. but you know what? who tha faaaack cares! 

i'm so so sorry to hear about the counseling cancellation too. that's awful!! the guy that told you you should go starve is a piece of shit honestly. boys can be so fucking rude, and i can't believe he said that to you. i really hope karma gets him. 

but ANYWAYS i've never had museli before! i really want to try it! 

sorry my reply is all over the place lmao

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#142 Heisenbυrg

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Posted 25 June 2018 - 06:39 PM

wow you have been through a lot hun

*sending you big hugs*

 

and what the fuck at that " weight loss coach" ?? hahah introducing you to c/s

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#143 nalalala

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 12:26 AM

whateverittakes55, on 25 Jun 2018 - 4:59 PM, said:

ohhh hun i'm sorry to hear about your binge cycle, i know how frustrating those are!! you are so not alone!
and don't be ashamed to show your food.. i get like that too! i'm like jesus people are going to think i'm nuts.. but you know what? who tha faaaack cares!
i'm so so sorry to hear about the counseling cancellation too. that's awful!! the guy that told you you should go starve is a piece of shit honestly. boys can be so fucking rude, and i can't believe he said that to you. i really hope karma gets him.
but ANYWAYS i've never had museli before! i really want to try it!
sorry my reply is all over the place lmao

My whole life is all over the place
And muesli is bomb but kinda high cal. But rly rly nice 

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#144 nalalala

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 02:11 PM

like 300 people came an visited my school today to have a look at all of the subjects we do, me and two of my friends got to stay back because we're the teacher's pets (lmao i sound so cool right now ) we were there like 5 hours extra (school ended at 3:10, and we got let out at 8:30) and less than 20 people came to the business room so we all just walked off and sat in the canteen with all the free food, i didn't end up eating anything but it was really stressful to be sat around free freshly baked cookies for at least an hour straight. did a lot of walking up and down stairs as i was showing people around. but fuck it was so boring (and hot)

 

my friends all live in the same area and it's pretty far from where i live sadly but yesterday they were all walking around after school and they saw a boy in our class walking his dog and the dog turned to go the wrong way and he swung it by it's lead and kicked it, then one of the neighbours shouted the fuck do you think you're doing? and he ran off. my friends saw all of this and they told me so i went over to him today in front of his girlfriend and his group and asked what happened and he denied everything, went red and really stiff  he kept stuttering too. why the fuck would anyone kick a dog though, what did the poor sod ever do to youuu??  

 

was going to take pictures of my food today, but i ended up only eating some apricots, raspberries and a yogurt so i didn't bother but tomorrow i will 

 

in 358

out 1900?

net -1542

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SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

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eat a snickers

 

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#145 nalalala

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Posted 27 June 2018 - 10:12 AM

felt bingy as hell today but contained the binge lmao

also i used the scales in my science lab to weigh out a polo since it's been bugging me that the packet says it's 10 calories/3 polos and i wanted to know how many calories it actually was since i doubted it was 3.33. each polo weighed on average 1.42g and 100g was 235 cal so 1.42% of 235 was 3.337 so the packet was actually accurate for once lol

 

no pics because i just kind of ate a little bit of everything in my kitchen.. 

 

In - too much

out - not enough

net -  

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SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

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#146 nalalala

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Posted 28 June 2018 - 03:14 PM

fucking hell today sucked balls

so my school is special and has these days were we don't do any normal lessons and we just do topics like prejudice, discrimination or racism etc (like PSHE all day and it's shit) but today when i got my timetable my subjects were stress, anxiety, depression and body image and i begged my base tutor to let me skive those classes and do classwork instead but it wasn't that easy to get out of lmao. i cried during first period because we were forced to wear out p.e kits and girls have to wear a skort and a short sleeve top and my loose skin is exposed on my legs and upper arms, it's fucking revolting and i sat in such an awkward position for two hours straight to try and cover my flab, cried second period because my teacher started talking about anxiety, social anxiety, ~eating disorders~ and agoraphobia and when she mentioned the last two things atleast half the class turned to stare at me because of some rumours that a certain someone started about me whilst i was off school. it was humiliating and awful. third period was about depression and that was actually okay since we had basically covered everything in the first two periods but my friend started crying because self harm was mentioned and she's covered in like nasty ass deep scars from cutting and burning, so we skipped next period which was p.e to go talk in the toilet (i'm in so much shit with my p.e teacher tomorrow lol we just walked off mid lesson yolo) we went to the office and cried with one of the teachers just watching us like why the fuck you crying   she told me about some shit her fucked up family said to her (i don't really want to go into it because i'm fucking certain she's atleast lurking on this site since she told me a load of shit today. got triggerd because she fasted from last wednesday until today when she ate a slice of apple pie that i watched her eat. she also purges, but like i swear half the girls in my school do tbh) i had a good cry on her shoulder and i regret telling her half the shit i said because i let slip that i purge and fasted today, but she was chill since i guess it's kind of normalized to her anyway. she skived last period but i ended up going and tbh the body image class was okay because the teacher started off being all serious about anorexia/bulimia and bdd and stuff but then saw me like about to cry and mouthed "are you okay?" to me then asked the lads what their ideal woman would be lmao, basically blonde hair, blue eyes, small feet, small nose, short and dainty was perfect and the ideal body for a man (according to the lads) was basically arnold schwarzenegger lol today was okay but i just got really sad about everything and yeah depressed as hell. fasted for 28 hours though so i guess that's okay. i also get so damn confused when you break a fast. like what day do you count the calories for because i just count it was whatever date it is? but like idk i confuse myself

 

in 922 (don't fucking ask how, apparently i have forgotten how to read nutrition lables..)

out 1758

net -836

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SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

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CW : fat

 

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#147 nalalala

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Posted 29 June 2018 - 02:08 PM

mpa is so glitchy

i have to use my sig to get to my accountabilty because searching for it doesn't work and i can't see my content page anymore? wtf mpa

 

also today i wasn't hungry but my friend's parents forced me to eat something so i picked at some french fries (ew) and then had 1/3 cup ish ice cream that upset my stomach haha, got home and ate some oatmeal but didn't take a picture whoops, also ate some baby potatoes and these coconut biscuits that are surprisingly low calorie but still ate way too many and now i feel sick  

 

in 1193

out 1800~

net -697

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SW : 210 lbs 

LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

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#148 nalalala

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Posted 30 June 2018 - 03:45 AM

This site is kind of pissing me off with all the bugs holy shit 

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LW : 123 lbs 

GW : 112 lbs

CW : fat

 

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MAYbe this will work 💫

Started by aftergloww, May 01 2018 04:16 AM

intermittent fasting restriction exercise challenge

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#1 aftergloww

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 04:16 AM

Hi, you can call me Glow, obviously not my real name. This is my first ever accountability, not sure how it will go but we'll find out! I'm doing the 31,000 calories in May challenge as I like high restriction, and I think it'll be a good way for me to keep accountable.

 

I may post every day, but probably not. I need to figure out how to upload photos, but till then don't expect anything exciting! This will be a very simple accountability. I'll be posting random updates as well, I figure since this is my accountability, I can post what and when I want! 

 

My aims are:

 

- No more than 1000 cals a day

- Walk more than 10,000 steps a day (even if that's sometimes marching on the spot)

- Burn more than 1,500 cals a day (using Fitbit stats)

- Try to only weigh once a week, weight this morning is 139lbs

 

Feel free to comment, or message me, anything to make this thread slightly more interesting! 

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#2 She's a lotus flower

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 12:08 PM

Good luck Glow, You'll have me right behind you! 

 

http://www.myproana....rting-a-thread/

 

I learnt to post pictures from here. If you're still stuck, then you know where I am, I'll be happy to help you <3 xx

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The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.

 

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#3 aftergloww

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 01:12 AM

She's a lotus flower, on 01 May 2018 - 12:08 PM, said:

Good luck Glow, You'll have me right behind you! 

 

http://www.myproana....rting-a-thread/

 

I learnt to post pictures from here. If you're still stuck, then you know where I am, I'll be happy to help you <3 xx

 

Thanks for your support, I'll have a look through that thread and try to work it out! xx

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#4 aftergloww

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 02:11 AM

May 1st 

 

Intake: 970

TDEE: 2,207

Steps: 14,991

 

Monthly deficit: 1,237

 

So far, so good. I really like aiming for 1000 calories a day, I think that's a sustainable goal for me. Granted, it's only been one day so we'll see how it goes! I log everything on my Fitbit and sometimes it is just guesstimation, so at least aiming for 1000 as shown on the Fitbit leaves some margin for error if the calculations are off. I'll still be eating under my TDEE. 

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#5 She's a lotus flower

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 03:09 AM

Woohoo! Well done! <3 

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#6 voiceless

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 04:34 AM

Yay for an accountability! Of course I'll be following xx

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#7 aftergloww

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 04:47 AM

Replies

 

Spoiler 

 

She's a lotus flower, on 02 May 2018 - 03:09 AM, said:

Woohoo! Well done! <3 

 

 

voiceless, on 02 May 2018 - 04:34 AM, said:

Yay for an accountability! Of course I'll be following xx

 

Thank you both for your support and encouragement! 

 

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#8 lightly

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 08:34 AM

1000 calories a day sounds like an awesome plan 

 

Following! 

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#9 aftergloww

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 09:14 AM

ashgrey, on 02 May 2018 - 08:34 AM, said:

1000 calories a day sounds like an awesome plan 

 

Following! 

 

Thank you so much! I'm now following you too! xx

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#10 Guest_whateverittakes55_*

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 10:24 AM

following you baaack <3 

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#11 aftergloww

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Posted 03 May 2018 - 01:05 AM

whateverittakes55, on 02 May 2018 - 10:24 AM, said:

following you baaack <3 

 

Thank yoooouu!! I'm looking forward to having your positivity on my thread! xx

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#12 teeandcookies

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Posted 03 May 2018 - 01:14 AM

Counting it through the month seems really interesting, good luck! Xx


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#13 aftergloww

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Posted 03 May 2018 - 03:02 AM

teeandcookies, on 03 May 2018 - 01:14 AM, said:

Counting it through the month seems really interesting, good luck! Xx


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Thanks, I think it might actually work too, because I know I can eat less most days, and then have a few higher days if I need them. I'm following your accountability too, good luck! 

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#14 aftergloww

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Posted 03 May 2018 - 03:15 AM

May 2nd

 

Intake: 925/1000

TDEE: 2,241

Steps: 16,840

 

Monthly deficit: 2,553

 

Calories left for May: 29,105/31,000

 

I weighed this morning (I think maybe Thursday and Sunday will be good days for weigh ins, and twice a week seems reasonable) and I'm 138.2lbs. So it's not a huge difference but at least it's going down. I'm not convinced that my Fitbit is telling the truth about my intake and TDEE, but I'm hoping that even if it's wrong there's still a big enough deficit to lose gradually. 

 

I'd like to get to know you all better and have seen others asking questions in their accountabilities so am going to do the same!

 

If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

I would probably go out walking, watch Netflix and read books! 

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#15 Guest_whateverittakes55_*

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Posted 03 May 2018 - 03:47 AM

Ooooh I would definitely go on more walks and read also,and experiment more with baking!

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#16 nyckelben

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Posted 03 May 2018 - 04:17 AM

I think your tdee looks reasonable considering the amount of steps! It measures your heart rate and everything, so as long as you keep your weight updated I think it's usually fairly accurate, give or take 150 at most.

Oh and definitely following, sweetie xx

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#17 aftergloww

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Posted 03 May 2018 - 07:19 AM

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whateverittakes55, on 03 May 2018 - 03:47 AM, said:

Ooooh I would definitely go on more walks and read also,and experiment more with baking!

 

Oh yes, I love baking, great idea! I haven't done any proper baking for so long, maybe you'll inspire me to get back to it! 

 

nyckelben, on 03 May 2018 - 04:17 AM, said:

I think your tdee looks reasonable considering the amount of steps! It measures your heart rate and everything, so as long as you keep your weight updated I think it's usually fairly accurate, give or take 150 at most.

Oh and definitely following, sweetie xx

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk

 

Thanks! It just seemed high for what was only gentle walking, but I guess it was a fair amount of steps. I do keep my weight up to date on there, so hopefully it is accurate. Thanks for the follow! xx

 

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#18 lightly

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Posted 03 May 2018 - 08:35 AM

Awesome on those steps, hun!! 

And I think weighing yourself a couple times a week is an excellent idea  

 

If I didn't have to sleep (which I don't already, to be fair haha), 

I would probably try to work more so I can get more money haha

or just be on MPA a few more hours a day hehe 

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#19 Guest_Hadara_*

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Posted 03 May 2018 - 01:04 PM

Yay I’m so glad you’ve set up an accountability!! I’m following you Glow ❤️ You are such an encouragement to me.

Stay safe and take care of yourself hunny.

Lots of love xxx

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#20 aftergloww

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Posted 04 May 2018 - 01:11 AM

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ashgrey, on 03 May 2018 - 08:35 AM, said:

Awesome on those steps, hun!! 

And I think weighing yourself a couple times a week is an excellent idea 

 

If I didn't have to sleep (which I don't already, to be fair haha), 

I would probably try to work more so I can get more money haha

or just be on MPA a few more hours a day hehe 

 

Thank you! Working more is a good idea, although I do spend too much of my work time on MPA (naughty me I know!). 

 

NeverEnough..., on 03 May 2018 - 1:04 PM, said:

Yay I’m so glad you’ve set up an accountability!! I’m following you Glow ❤️ You are such an encouragement to me.

Stay safe and take care of yourself hunny.

Lots of love xxx

 

Thanks, I thought it might help me stay on track. You take care too xx

 

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Posted 25 June 2018 - 12:20 PM

Hey! I'm back again and wondering how you're doing.

Sending hugs x

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#162 aftergloww

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Posted 27 June 2018 - 01:11 AM

whateverittakes55, on 25 Jun 2018 - 10:19 AM, said:

I’m happy not counting is working for you!!
And you’re right a loss is still a loss!

 

Thank you! I'm not sure how well it is working since I seem to be maintaining the last few days, but maybe there's a whoosh coming! Let's hope so! xx

 

shessoskinnymini, on 25 Jun 2018 - 11:10 AM, said:

I was on weightless shakes for 2 weeks in May and actually lost around 3-5kg but then gained it all back as soon as I started bingeing in June. Yesterday I started a diet I thought of myself which is basically eating 500/800/1000 calories during different days of the week. Yesterday I had 500 calories. I was hungry but I know I need to lose weight so i resisted the hunger. 

 

What does your daily food intake usually consist of?

 

Good luck with your calorie restrictions! 

My daily intake varies - I never eat before 11am, and that's usually when I have a banana with some peanut butter. Then lunch and dinner could be a sandwich, and some kind of bigger meal (curry, lasagne etc). It's hard because I live in community with lots of other people so I don't cook for myself, and just eat whatever is provided. I try to keep reasonable portions though.

I know this way weight loss will be slower, but I'm hoping it's sustainable as it's close to 'normal' eating!

 

voiceless, on 25 Jun 2018 - 12:20 PM, said:

Hey! I'm back again and wondering how you're doing.

Sending hugs x

 

Hey! I'm glad you're back. I'm doing well, I think I've hit a bit of a plateau, but I'm pushing on! How are you? xx

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#163 Not Today Satan

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Posted 28 June 2018 - 03:23 AM

Following

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'I just want to be okay'

My (new) accountability/rant/body check thread

http://www.myproana..../#entry60724466

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#164 aftergloww

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Posted 28 June 2018 - 04:06 AM

Not Today Satan, on 28 Jun 2018 - 03:23 AM, said:

Following

 

Welcome! Thanks for following - my updates are not nearly as interesting as yours, but I'm trying! xx

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#165 aftergloww

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Posted 28 June 2018 - 04:29 AM

This morning my weight was up to 132.4 - I'm still not counting, but I'm pretty certain I've not been eating over my TDEE so it must just be general fluctuations in weight. So frustrating! I keep meaning to weigh myself less, but somehow I'm now up to weighing every morning! I think a few days of being more aware of calories and of not weighing might help. I'm always so desperate to see what my weight is doing, but then get discouraged with the numbers. 

 

I'm sorry for the pathetic updates recently. Life has just been so busy! One thing that is consuming much of my time is a guy which is exciting although nothing is really happening yet. The story so far (in spoiler because of length) for those who are interested:

 

Spoiler 

I live where I work which means living with colleagues who are also friends, yes, a bit of an odd set up but it works. In September we had a guy join us who is much younger than me, but we've always got on well and are good friends. In the last couple of months though, we've been spending much more time together, there's been more physical contact (hugs, hand on the back etc) and much more in depth conversations. I had thought this was lovely but didn't really think anything of it because of the age gap and the fact that he is way out of my league! 

 

Then one night a few weeks ago a few of us were watching a film together, me and him were sat next to each other and he started holding my hand, playing with my fingers, stroking my side - this all took me by surprise but was definitely not unwelcome! This happened during the film then nothing for a few days until he asks if we can 'chat' (uh oh!). He said that he had felt that over the last few weeks we had been getting closer, and he didn't know if there was something more and was testing the waters by holding my hand to see what I would do (which he acknowledged in hindsight wasn't the best course to take) and the fact that I didn't pull away from him meant that I also felt the same. 

 

We had a really honest chat in which we both said we felt there could be more but we really value the friendship and don't want to lose that, so are going to focus on developing our friendship and see where it goes. He also said that he really doesn't want to hurt me which was sweet, but what does that even mean?

 

Which is all well and good, but that was a couple of weeks ago now. We live and work together so we see each other every day. I love that, and we're getting on so well as friends, but the more I see him, the more time I want to spend with him and the more I'm convinced that I want more than friendship. I don't know whether to say something, wait for him to make another move, or just leave it.

 

SO, any advice on moving a friendship to something more would be greatly appreciated!

 

TLDR; I'm smitten with one of my best friends, how do I move things to the next level?

 

Well done if you did read the whole thing, when I started writing it all just flowed out! I'm now terrified that someone I know will see this and know who I am, but that must be paranoia because there is no way!

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#166 IMissS.P.

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Posted 28 June 2018 - 05:03 AM

haha i know about the paranoia of having your accountability found out, but if you calculate the chances they're so slim. and if they found it then it means that other person has an ED/problem too so unless they want their secret spilled too )))))))) (idk how itd work with openly ed people but its much rarer and i doubt they'd spread it like that anyway my paranoia made me ramble again lmao)
about the relationship: i mean I've seen this happen a lot and tbh when its clear you both are enjoying each other then you could give a relationship a try. seeing how you are together almost daily then i doubt even if it doesnt work out that you wont remain friends anymore. small age differences and "leagues" mean nothing if you go along well, I used to think like you too. just try telling/expressing to him you like him back (always waiting for the other party to make the move isnt that good for both  )
srsly ive seen so many of my friends just not enter relationships even when they both liked each other so much just because of fear and its such a waste when they click so well! you dont have anything to lose but your regret someday in the future! best of luck 

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 Height - 166cm 

 LW - 37.5kg/CW - 48kg; Back at it again 

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#167 aftergloww

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Posted 29 June 2018 - 06:28 AM

Aaaahhh, I replied and it's disappeared!

 

IMissS.P., on 28 Jun 2018 - 05:03 AM, said:

haha i know about the paranoia of having your accountability found out, but if you calculate the chances they're so slim. and if they found it then it means that other person has an ED/problem too so unless they want their secret spilled too )))))))) (idk how itd work with openly ed people but its much rarer and i doubt they'd spread it like that anyway my paranoia made me ramble again lmao)
about the relationship: i mean I've seen this happen a lot and tbh when its clear you both are enjoying each other then you could give a relationship a try. seeing how you are together almost daily then i doubt even if it doesnt work out that you wont remain friends anymore. small age differences and "leagues" mean nothing if you go along well, I used to think like you too. just try telling/expressing to him you like him back (always waiting for the other party to make the move isnt that good for both  )
srsly ive seen so many of my friends just not enter relationships even when they both liked each other so much just because of fear and its such a waste when they click so well! you dont have anything to lose but your regret someday in the future! best of luck 

 

Thanks for your input! You're so right, I think maybe I do just need to suck it up and say something. I'm so useless and awkward at this kind of thing (even though I'm 29 and should surely have my life together by now). I'm terrible at flirting, and even the fact that someone might be interested in me is a foreign concept! 

 

What you said about regrets is so true. Yes, if I say something and it doesn't work out it might be awkward for a while, but I think I'd regret not saying something more than the awkwardness. And we are great friends, so hopefully we'd get back to that! 

 

It's all well and good saying that, but this means I actually have to work up the courage to say something! I'll let you know if I do! 

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Height: 5'1"

HW: 145lbs

140 139 138 137 136 135 134 133 132 131

130 129 128 127 126 125 124 123 122 121

120 119 118 117 116 115 114 113 112 111 

 

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Poppy Thinspo

Started by formaldoll, Jul 01 2020 04:44 PM

thinspo poppy moriah pereira

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#1 formaldoll

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Posted 01 July 2020 - 04:44 PM

Here is a big post of all my Poppy thinspo that I have. 

just saving it for future reference  

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#2 somethingdramatic

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Posted 01 July 2020 - 04:45 PM

this is oddly timed cause i've been listening to poppy all night. dare i say i had never even noticed how skinny she is

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gw1: 154 (out of the 70 kgs)

gw2: 149 (normal BMI)

gw3: 143 (my old set point)

gw4: 136 (the weight at which I stop looking fat)

gw5: 132 (out of the 60 kgs)

gw6: 125 (the skinniest weight I properly maintained)

ugw: 120

uugw: 115 (my ultimate ultimate goal weight, not realistic but i'll fantasize nonetheless)

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#3 ♔ king

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Posted 01 July 2020 - 04:54 PM

sis posed with a literal skeleton. she is our queen

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What you eat in private you wear in public.  diet accountability | food documentary reviews | getting in shape

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#4 oldaccountsilco

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Posted 01 July 2020 - 04:57 PM

I didn’t know she was that thin and now she’s goals


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| 26 | they/he | EDNOS | 5'6" |

 

| HW: 322.6 | CW: 300.2 | Current Goal: 290 | UGW: 115 |

 

Valentines Crushers | Ravenous Readers

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#5 9cals

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 06:52 AM

I honestly never realized how thin she is.

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#6 Mastix

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 09:43 AM

My 'ex' was obsessed with her so she really gets to me as thinspo 👌

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#7 PsycadelicHatred

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Posted 02 July 2020 - 09:06 PM

Well one things for sure, I feel a little less bad about my face. Absolutely NOT an insult to Poppy but in a lot of her media she's very perfected looking. It can be hard to find unflattering pictures of celebrity type figures when they control much of their own media. Kinda relieved to see some pictures of her in imperfect lighting conditions. 

I'm not a huge poppy fan but god that skeleton one is quite the trigger. 

 

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faerie-lo

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Posted Today, 08:00 AM

Sunday 19 June 2022

Exercise

BWF Primer Day 9: 2x6 Squats, 2x8 Glute Bridges, 2x10 Rows, 2x12 Push Ups

Yay I'm almost done with the bodyweight fitness primer.

 

Intake

2 cups of coffee

 

Journal

It's Father's Day today. I'm gifting my dad a sketch of his brother who has recently passed. Unfortunately it's not done yet so I'm unsure if I should show him yet. I'm hoping to work on it this week though. 

 

Coyote left and I'm a bit sad. I know I'll literally see him in a few days but it was so weirdly sad to see him head out. I'm also having a tough time bc he's treating me how I've wanted to be treated since the beginning of our relationship and I'm like is it because you don't see me all the time now? Like this weekend he paid for all our dates out and he says every time he comes down to see me he's going to bring a gift. He wants to buy me nice hiking boots now which would be awesome since mine are second hand and falling apart. He's been outwardly more affectionate too which is nice. I 

guess his new job is paying him a lot better so he can treat me now. I love him so much more than I thought I did so I'm going to revel in this new dynamic. 

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5ft

GW1: 120

GW2: 100

UGW: <74lbs

CW: Fat Fuck

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“You think I’ll be the dark sky so you can be the star? I’ll swallow you whole.”

 ― Warsan Shire

 

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#10 faerie-lo

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Posted Today, 08:02 AM

Also lost 1 lb. 14 more lbs to go until I feel more confident in the method of weight loss 

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5ft

GW1: 120

GW2: 100

UGW: <74lbs

CW: Fat Fuck

Accountability

“You think I’ll be the dark sky so you can be the star? I’ll swallow you whole.”

 ― Warsan Shire

 

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did i eat good today?

Started by formaldoll, Jul 07 2020 04:58 PM

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#1 formaldoll

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Posted 07 July 2020 - 04:58 PM

i had one small bag of popcorn (160 cal) and 1 chicken nugget (60 cal) for the first half of the day which equals to about 220 cals? but at dinner i ate a small bowl of fried rice (idk about the calories) so i purged even though i didnt binge and i took a laxative after and im waiting for it to kick in... do you guys think i did a good job restricting after binging everyday for so long?

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#2 9cals

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Posted 07 July 2020 - 05:09 PM

You ate good, but please don’t purge 

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#3 9cals

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Posted 07 July 2020 - 05:09 PM

I really think you should eat more than that though.

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#4 spring.relapse

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Posted 07 July 2020 - 05:20 PM

Purging is so terrible. I literally high restrict(1,000csl daily) so the amount of food you barely ste(& also didn’t even keep down) sounds like nothing to me. I’ve eating a shit ton compared to you. So I guess if I had that tiny amount of food as you in a day I would be feeling happy about it like I did good but reading it from someone else I just think “omg are you crazy?! That sounds like nothing! Try to keep the rice down “ idk why it sends me into a panic like reading someone about how they’re hurting themselves like this but then again I would be happy to have eaten the small amount you ate

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     Hello. Here are my stats 

         cw: 108 pounds

         gw1: 100 pounds

         ugw: 95 pounds I think 

              Height: 5'3

         BMI: 19.1 ugh.

         lw: 102 pounds

         hw: 130?? pounds

      my accountability 

           https://www.myproana...277-♥my-daily♥/

                                       

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#5 Peatea

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Posted 07 July 2020 - 05:39 PM

imPoppy, on 07 Jul 2020 - 4:58 PM, said:

i had one small bag of popcorn (160 cal) and 1 chicken nugget (60 cal) for the first half of the day which equals to about 220 cals? but at dinner i ate a small bowl of fried rice (idk about the calories) so i purged even though i didnt binge and i took a laxative after and im waiting for it to kick in... do you guys think i did a good job restricting after binging everyday for so long?

This isn't good, and it's just going to lead to another binge cycle. I think you know that, or you wouldn't bother asking. :/

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#6 bulimicomrade

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Posted 07 July 2020 - 08:12 PM

It sounds like you're eating very little. I'd try to eat a bit more to avoid binge urges.

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#7 RatherDeadThanFat

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Posted 08 July 2020 - 07:36 AM

You should eat more to avoid binges instead of making up for binges by restricting super low.

 

Just do the math.

 

If you have a TDEE of 2000 and eat 1000 a day an be satisfied and full, you´ll lose 2 1/2lbs per week. (7000cal saved)

 

If you eat 500 a day and have a massive 4000cal binge after 6 days, you have suffered and are probably bloated. Effectively in both sceanrios you will have lost 2-2,5 lbs. 

 

But second scenario is much harder to maintain, leads to food craings, binges, bloating, water&excessive food weight.

 

Eat more. Don´t purge. Stay safe.

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33F - 5'8" - CW 160 - HW 190 - LW 140 - GW 130 - UGW 120

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♥My daily♥

Started by spring.relapse, Feb 02 2022 02:50 PM

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#1 spring.relapse

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Posted 02 February 2022 - 02:50 PM

Hi, I'm going to tell my story right now :) after this it will be a daily blog. I am currently trying to lose weight to get to my ugw and I want to use an accountability to help me stay on track. Lately I have been using my ED Instagram but I have felt disconnected from the people who follow me on there so I feel nervous to use my Instagram and I'd rather be more anonymous! Anyways, here is my anorexia story in writing...

 

     My name is Sasha, I struggle with anorexia. I have been struggling since 2016. It first started as a way for me to lose a little bit of weight and it was very healthy in the beginning, during this time I was googling absolutely EVERYTHING about how to lose      weight or what diet should I do that's how I found MPA. Once I found MPA I remember feeling shocked that this forum was so open, it felt like I stumbled onto the dark web but once I had started reading forums and posts I related so much to what so many others were going through, I also loved the encouragement to lose weight as I was not getting this type of encouragement in my real life, it felt like no one cared that I was trying to lose weight. After a year of losing weight, dieting exercising and eating healthy I felt the best I had ever felt. I loved my new lifestyle and I felt like I looked so pretty, I have always wanted to look small and doll-like and felt I was achieving that, I had some problem areas of course but I knew how to fix that, more exercise, more diets! I did not see that I was struggling at all despite a few comments from people around me who had expressed concern,, I did not see what they saw, I felt they were saying "You're too skinny" only because they were jealous, and I also believed they said this because they don't understand what style was and they were just "normal" people. Later I needed to do a regular doctors visit because I had not had one for so long (around 5 years!) So I decided I should try to get an appointment, this is where I feel it all went wrong. They checked my weight and I felt so embarrassed because it wasn't what I thought it was that day, I thought it would be lower but it was about 1 and a half pound higher than I thought, I felt like I wanted to hide, but the nurses had expressed concern as they   could see I was very much underweight. The doctor had come in eventually and started asking me so many questions, later I would get diagnosed with Anorexia and I felt so completely embarrassed. I was too old to be having these types of problems, I felt those were for the girls on MPA who were all 18 or even younger while I was 23 at the time. I didn't want to tell anyone at first but eventually I had told my mom, this is where it got even worse... my sister had found out through my mom that I was diagnosed and my sister is 100% completely narcissistic and had then made my diagnosis about her. I won't go into too much detail but basically she had yelled at me and told me so many hurtful things, talking about how ugly I look and things of that nature. She really   made me believe I was a terrible human because I was losing weight. I still did not believe I had anorexia, I only thought I was just chasing a certain look and diet and exercise would help me achieve this, and that they didn't understand because they don't care about fashion like I do. After this incident I had started gaining weight but only out of pure stress of trying to avoid my sisters comments and remarks about my body, not because I believed I wanted to recover. I eventually claimed to have anorexia once I realized I was stuck in this insane binge and low restrict cycle... Restrict for a week, get worried my sister will notice I lost a half a pound(which is so ridiculous) and then binge, binge, binge until I gained even more weight back. My sister would still make remarks even after I had obviously gained weight but she still chose to make fun of me for having anorexia. I was living in hell, binge restrict cycles are HORRIBLE and I don't wish them on anyone. Now it's 4 years later, my sister has moved in with her husband to another state, I just recently got my own house, I am almost 28 years old, and I hate my body. I ignored it for so long(since COVID started I felt I had truly recovered, it was very nice not going to lie ^_^) but I hate my body right now and I just FEEL fat, I feel bloated and large and chubby. I have already lost some weight last year but I basically gained a lot of it back. I just want to control my eating habits and have that sense of being able to feel light, and eat less. I just love love love that feeling of feeling small, and light. 

 

     Sorry I did not realize my story would be SO long but it is! It was nice to type out too and it feels like my thoughts are all vented now. 

 

 

My stats right now! (American)

height: 5'3

current weight: 108

Lowest weight: 100

highest weight: 145

goal weight 1: 105

goal weight 2: 100

ultimate goal weight: 95-99

(this isn't me, but looks very similar but I never got to a weight like this and want to.)

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     Hello. Here are my stats 

         cw: 108 pounds

         gw1: 100 pounds

         ugw: 95 pounds I think 

              Height: 5'3

         BMI: 19.1 ugh.

         lw: 102 pounds

         hw: 130?? pounds

      my accountability 

           https://www.myproana...277-♥my-daily♥/

                                       

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#2 spring.relapse

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Posted 02 February 2022 - 03:06 PM

Okay so this is my first actual post. 

my weight right now: 108.6

 

Calories so far: 490

Goal for today: 900

personal goals: Take a shower today after eating dinner!

weight related goals: be at 108.0 tomorrow morning and also don't snack 

 

Random thoughts: 

I'm glad I am starting this, I have never done this before, I attempted once but it was random and I didn't care about it. This time I'm putting in effort. The weather has been feeling like spring recently which makes me relapse so hard and I love that feeling of lightness when the sun is out and I have a coffee and I'm hungry but it feels good. This morning my dad called me to yell at me about why I didn't come over and clean his house for him which really sucks, I felt bad cause I agreed to but I had told him I couldn't because I had gotten a call from work. My dad is a narcissist just like my sister and they are honestly so incredibly selfish its disgusting. I try to be opposite to them as much as I can at all time. Anywaysssss my plan is to eat a small dinner tonight I really want chicken and salad which is actually one of my favorite safe foodd and I should be at 900cal which is my limit and I'll take a shower and then be ready for bed. very simple. Should be easy.. right... Oh god I hope so.. Getting back into trying to eat better is difficult for the first few days.

okay bye.

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     Hello. Here are my stats 

         cw: 108 pounds

         gw1: 100 pounds

         ugw: 95 pounds I think 

              Height: 5'3

         BMI: 19.1 ugh.

         lw: 102 pounds

         hw: 130?? pounds

      my accountability 

           https://www.myproana...277-♥my-daily♥/

                                       

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#3 spring.relapse

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Posted 03 February 2022 - 03:48 PM

♥2/3/2022♥

current weight 107.8

Calories so far: 660

Goal for today: 900

Personal goals: Homework!!

Weight goals: small dinner tonight. PLEASE do not over fill your bowl! PLEASE!!!

 

♥breakfast♥ coffee w/ creamer x2

♥lunch♥ turkey and provolone sandwich on sourdough(SO many calories but very good)

♥dinner♥ nothing yet, I want to skip it completely

 

Thoughts:

So yesterday I failed I had 1100 calories and my goal for each day is 900, I almost had the huge urge to say fuck it and eat whatever my bf brought home, it looked so good too and he bought me cookies as well. Idk how I held off but I did and I at least dropped a pound still, obviously its just water weight but I'll take it. I doubt I'll be 106 tomorrow. For some reason I didn't realize my turkey sandwich was SO many calories?? I didn't even think about calories while making it and just enjoyed it so much assuming it was maybe 300, but nope, it was a 500 cal sandwich. That stressed me the fuck out once I realized how many calories it was because I ate that so early in the day and realized I would have to hold off on anything until dinner. Well I am drinking a black coffee now just to hold off on my appetite and after this I'll drink some regular herbal tea, hot drinks always help me hold off on my hunger ♥ I really hope my bf orders fast-food tonight cause I try my best not to eat fast food so that means it'll be easy to skip dinner, if he wants me to cook then I will have to eat dinner... He doesn't care for healthy meals either and he gets very suspicious when I try to eat healthy like chicken and salad so I have to eat whatever he wants and I think tonight I am making rice, spam and kimchi which is really good but the spam is high in calories. I really think I can try to keep my bowl small though and stick to 900 calories. I hope, it's hard once the food is around me and I start piling it up. 

 

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     Hello. Here are my stats 

         cw: 108 pounds

         gw1: 100 pounds

         ugw: 95 pounds I think 

              Height: 5'3

         BMI: 19.1 ugh.

         lw: 102 pounds

         hw: 130?? pounds

      my accountability 

           https://www.myproana...277-♥my-daily♥/

                                       

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✞curdled milk aesthetic thinspo✞

Started by formaldoll, Oct 13 2020 02:54 PM

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#1 formaldoll

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Posted 13 October 2020 - 02:54 PM

deleted 

 

 

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ch3rry’s bodychecks

Started by ch3rrysyrup, Jun 04 2022 09:10 AM

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#21 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 06 June 2022 - 04:13 PM

collarbones from today ignore my lack of a jawline rip 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#22 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 06 June 2022 - 04:13 PM

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#23 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 10 June 2022 - 10:02 PM

guys i’m so proud to announce that i’m actually 4 months pregnant
her name is high restriction xoxoxox


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#24 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 10 June 2022 - 10:03 PM

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#25 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 10 June 2022 - 10:03 PM

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#26 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 10 June 2022 - 10:04 PM

life is beautiful xoxoxo


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#27 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 10 June 2022 - 10:05 PM

no but like actually WHYY do i look so pregnant i’ve barely had 800 cals today

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#28 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 10 June 2022 - 10:08 PM

pls help i don’t want to purge or take lax but the urge is so there

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#29 PrettyLittleDumDum

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 12:35 AM

It’s just bloating, you are NOT fat. Nowhere near!
I think when having an ed we tend to get even more bloated then a “normal” person. And it makes us feel even worse.
I love your hair btw 😄

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꧁꧁We all have things we won’t ever tell anyone꧂꧂

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#30 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 05:54 PM

still pregnant today but i wanted to feel cute so i did my makeup for no reason lmao 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#31 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 05:55 PM

anyways get ready for selfie dump because i’m trying not to hate my appearance 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#32 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 05:55 PM

angy 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#33 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 05:56 PM

OH MY GOD WHYD I GET CURIOUS ABOUT MY SIDE PROFILE EW 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#34 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 05:57 PM

last thing u see before i consume you 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#35 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 05:58 PM

wow i genuinely just don’t like my smile this is sad 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#36 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 05:58 PM

NO BITCHES ?!?!?!?!?


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#37 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 05:59 PM

necc


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#38 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 05:59 PM

ok i actually do like this picture it’s so funny 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#39 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 06:01 PM

oh and a body check i took a couple days ago when i felt skinnier lmfao 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#40 baboy

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 06:05 PM

you’re so fucking beautiful and adorable ohmygod i cant get over it

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im bilingual so thats dope ig
class clown
gay asf

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ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 06:08 PM

baboy, on 11 Jun 2022 - 6:05 PM, said:

you’re so fucking beautiful and adorable ohmygod i cant get over it

REALLY??? thank you sm omg
i think i have facial dysmorphia or something because i have no clue what i look like

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#42 vampheart

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 06:53 PM

UR SO PRETTY OMG AND YOUR HAIR 😭❤️❤️ I’m so jealous

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chronically on mpa 

feel free to pm lets b friends <33

raging bulimic  

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#43 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 06:56 PM

vampheart, on 11 Jun 2022 - 6:53 PM, said:

UR SO PRETTY OMG AND YOUR HAIR ❤❤ I’m so jealous

THANK YOU SM ILY

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#44 StarvingLlama*-*

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Posted 12 June 2022 - 02:23 AM

ch3rrysyrup, on 11 Jun 2022 - 5:58 PM, said:

wow i genuinely just don’t like my smile this is sad 


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You have such a cute smile tbh you're super pretty 

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#45 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 12 June 2022 - 05:52 AM

StarvingLlama*-*, on 12 Jun 2022 - 02:23 AM, said:

You have such a cute smile tbh you're super pretty 
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THANK YOU LLAMA <3 <3

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#46 lifeluvrr

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Posted 12 June 2022 - 07:50 AM

i'm in awe you are soo pretty!!!!

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#47 soybih

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Posted 14 June 2022 - 05:12 AM

ch3rrysyrup, on 04 Jun 2022 - 1:42 PM, said:

i hate how leggings bunch up in the crotch whyyy 


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WOW


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Ingredients: depression, anxiety, and a weird ed (orthorexia, anorexia, bulimia)

Might contain: xanax, soymilk tea and cherry tomatoes

Serving size: 120lbs (one 5ft8 human)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#48 soybih

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Posted 14 June 2022 - 05:28 AM

ch3rrysyrup, on 04 Jun 2022 - 09:12 AM, said:

anyways starting off with some leg checks
i wouldn’t mind my legs if the rest of my body wasn’t so disproportionate i hate it 


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omg wow


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Ingredients: depression, anxiety, and a weird ed (orthorexia, anorexia, bulimia)

Might contain: xanax, soymilk tea and cherry tomatoes

Serving size: 120lbs (one 5ft8 human)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#49 nymphie

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Posted 14 June 2022 - 09:06 AM

Oh my gosh you are so pretty!! Like I’m in awe of how pretty you are <3 and also you look amazing even if you don’t feel that way xxx

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#50 pr3tz3l

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Posted 14 June 2022 - 08:33 PM

ch3rrysyrup, on 10 Jun 2022 - 10:02 PM, said:

guys i’m so proud to announce that i’m actually 4 months pregnant
her name is high restriction xoxoxox


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I THOUGHT U WERE SERIOUS UNTIL I READ THE BOTTOM AND KEPT SCROLLINH

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#51 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 11:09 AM

WHY IS MY SHADOW SKINNIER THAN ME SMFH 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#52 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 11:11 AM

can my goddamn chest bone just show already 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#53 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 11:14 AM

I WAS TRYING TO TAKE PICS OF MYSELF FROM FAR AWAY SO I COULD SEE WHAT I LOOKED LIKE AND

WHAT IS THAT!!!! WHY I DO STAND LIKE A GODDAMN EMOJI 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#54 DistressedOrange

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 11:16 AM

Wowwww you're sooo skinny

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#55 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 11:18 AM

DistressedOrange, on 15 Jun 2022 - 11:16 AM, said:

Wowwww you're sooo skinny
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IM SORRY I CANT READ TONE OVER TEXT ARE U BEING SARCASTIC

BECAUSE U ARE 100x SKINNIER THAN ME

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#56 DistressedOrange

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 11:19 AM

ch3rrysyrup, on 15 Jun 2022 - 11:18 AM, said:

IM SORRY I CANT READ TONE OVER TEXT ARE U BEING SARCASTIC

BECAUSE U ARE 100x SKINNIER THAN ME

NO IM BEING SERIOUS YOU LOOK REALLY TINY

WHY ARE WE SCREAMING

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#57 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 11:21 AM

DistressedOrange, on 15 Jun 2022 - 11:19 AM, said:

NO IM BEING SERIOUS YOU LOOK REALLY TINY
WHY ARE WE SCREAMING
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IDK ITS JUST HOW I BE TYPING

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#58 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 11:25 AM

DistressedOrange, on 15 Jun 2022 - 11:19 AM, said:

NO IM BEING SERIOUS YOU LOOK REALLY TINY
WHY ARE WE SCREAMING
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BUT ALSO THANK U I DO NOT FEEL SKINNY IN THE SLIGHTEST BODY DYSMORPHIA IS A WHORE

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#59 baboy

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 01:53 PM

BRO UR LITERALLY SO TINY OMG PLS I WANA SLAP UR BODY DYSMORPHIA TO HELL

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im bilingual so thats dope ig
class clown
gay asf

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#60 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 02:35 PM

baboy, on 15 Jun 2022 - 1:53 PM, said:

BRO UR LITERALLY SO TINY OMG PLS I WANA SLAP UR BODY DYSMORPHIA TO HELL

ILYSM

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#61 VeraShipsNaLu

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 03:04 PM

ch3rrysyrup, on 10 Jun 2022 - 10:05 PM, said:

no but like actually WHYY do i look so pregnant i’ve barely had 800 cals today

Happens to me really bad if I low restrict, idk why not eating less causes me to bloat more than if I eat more.

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                                                            Stats ♡

                                                                                          

                                                                                           she/her

                                                                                              16

 

                                                                                              5'2"

 

                                                                                           89-91lbs

 

                                                                                      16.3-16.6 bmi

 

                                                           33"- 34" shoulders  12-13" from shoulder to shoulder

                                                                                        28" bust

                                                                                        25" under bust

                                                                                        22" waist

                                                                                        33" hips

 

                                                        17.2 inch thighs at the thickest part (when I'm standing)

 

                                                                                               GW1: 87-88lbs BMI: 15.9-16.1

                                                                                               GW2: 85-86lbs BMI: 15.5-15.7

                                                                                               GW3: 83-84lbs BMI: 15.2-15.4

                                                                                               UGW: 82-83lbs BMI: 15-15.2

 

And yes, I am obsessed with NaLu

 

Spoiler 

 

Spoiler 

 

I love Billie ♡

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#62 VeraShipsNaLu

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 03:08 PM

ch3rrysyrup, on 11 Jun 2022 - 5:56 PM, said:

OH MY GOD WHYD I GET CURIOUS ABOUT MY SIDE PROFILE EW


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Your side profile is so pretty! I'd be sacred to ever see what mine looks like! Now I'm curious lol

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                                                                                           she/her

                                                                                              16

 

                                                                                              5'2"

 

                                                                                           89-91lbs

 

                                                                                      16.3-16.6 bmi

 

                                                           33"- 34" shoulders  12-13" from shoulder to shoulder

                                                                                        28" bust

                                                                                        25" under bust

                                                                                        22" waist

                                                                                        33" hips

 

                                                        17.2 inch thighs at the thickest part (when I'm standing)

 

                                                                                               GW1: 87-88lbs BMI: 15.9-16.1

                                                                                               GW2: 85-86lbs BMI: 15.5-15.7

                                                                                               GW3: 83-84lbs BMI: 15.2-15.4

                                                                                               UGW: 82-83lbs BMI: 15-15.2

 

And yes, I am obsessed with NaLu

 

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I love Billie ♡

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#63 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 03:10 PM

VeraShipsNaLu, on 15 Jun 2022 - 3:04 PM, said:

Happens to me really bad if I low restrict, idk why not eating less causes me to bloat more than if I eat more.

i’m still bloated it’s to be expected though since i’m upping my intake a lot, from 250 to 800-1200
i’ve just made peace with it for now and praying it’ll go away lmao

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#64 VeraShipsNaLu

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 03:14 PM

ch3rrysyrup, on 15 Jun 2022 - 3:10 PM, said:

i’m still bloated it’s to be expected though since i’m upping my intake a lot, from 250 to 800-1200
i’ve just made peace with it for now and praying it’ll go away lmao

I'm NEVER able to make peace with mine lol like a year ago I was standing in front of the mirror scratching at my lower stomach  and screaming at myself for being such a fatass it was one of the worst bloats I EVER had. Lasted like three days 

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                                                                                           she/her

                                                                                              16

 

                                                                                              5'2"

 

                                                                                           89-91lbs

 

                                                                                      16.3-16.6 bmi

 

                                                           33"- 34" shoulders  12-13" from shoulder to shoulder

                                                                                        28" bust

                                                                                        25" under bust

                                                                                        22" waist

                                                                                        33" hips

 

                                                        17.2 inch thighs at the thickest part (when I'm standing)

 

                                                                                               GW1: 87-88lbs BMI: 15.9-16.1

                                                                                               GW2: 85-86lbs BMI: 15.5-15.7

                                                                                               GW3: 83-84lbs BMI: 15.2-15.4

                                                                                               UGW: 82-83lbs BMI: 15-15.2

 

And yes, I am obsessed with NaLu

 

Spoiler 

 

Spoiler 

 

I love Billie ♡

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#65 VeraShipsNaLu

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 03:16 PM

My new favorite selfie/bodycheck thread  along with pahdme's

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                                                                                           she/her

                                                                                              16

 

                                                                                              5'2"

 

                                                                                           89-91lbs

 

                                                                                      16.3-16.6 bmi

 

                                                           33"- 34" shoulders  12-13" from shoulder to shoulder

                                                                                        28" bust

                                                                                        25" under bust

                                                                                        22" waist

                                                                                        33" hips

 

                                                        17.2 inch thighs at the thickest part (when I'm standing)

 

                                                                                               GW1: 87-88lbs BMI: 15.9-16.1

                                                                                               GW2: 85-86lbs BMI: 15.5-15.7

                                                                                               GW3: 83-84lbs BMI: 15.2-15.4

                                                                                               UGW: 82-83lbs BMI: 15-15.2

 

And yes, I am obsessed with NaLu

 

Spoiler 

 

Spoiler 

 

I love Billie ♡

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#66 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 03:17 PM

VeraShipsNaLu, on 15 Jun 2022 - 3:14 PM, said:

I'm NEVER able to make peace with mine lol like a year ago I was standing in front of the mirror scratching at my lower stomach  and screaming at myself for being such a fatass it was one of the worst bloats I EVER had. Lasted like three days 

no i feel that so hard but i just kinda accepted that despising myself for it won’t make it go away any sooner  also some reassurance is that if you pinch the bloat you can see how much fat you actually have vs the part that’s sticking out due to bloating. idk it calms me knowing that i didn’t gain any “actual” weight

also on an unrelated note fairy tail and NaLu SLAPS i love ur username and profile pic

• Like This

certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#67 VeraShipsNaLu

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 03:32 PM

ch3rrysyrup, on 15 Jun 2022 - 3:17 PM, said:

no i feel that so hard but i just kinda accepted that despising myself for it won’t make it go away any sooner  also some reassurance is that if you pinch the bloat you can see how much fat you actually have vs the part that’s sticking out due to bloating. idk it calms me knowing that i didn’t gain any “actual” weight

also on an unrelated note fairy tail and NaLu SLAPS i love ur username and profile pic

Really!? OMG never knew that! I've never really been able to pinch my bloat so I guess no fat yahhh 

 

YASSSS thank you!!! I'm totally OBSESSED with NaLu, to like an unhealthy degree! Since the age of 10 I've been shipping them. I have written SOOOOOOOOO many NaLu fanfictions and even lemons lol I'm a perv 

 

so close to 300 followers on wattpad lol

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                                                                                           she/her

                                                                                              16

 

                                                                                              5'2"

 

                                                                                           89-91lbs

 

                                                                                      16.3-16.6 bmi

 

                                                           33"- 34" shoulders  12-13" from shoulder to shoulder

                                                                                        28" bust

                                                                                        25" under bust

                                                                                        22" waist

                                                                                        33" hips

 

                                                        17.2 inch thighs at the thickest part (when I'm standing)

 

                                                                                               GW1: 87-88lbs BMI: 15.9-16.1

                                                                                               GW2: 85-86lbs BMI: 15.5-15.7

                                                                                               GW3: 83-84lbs BMI: 15.2-15.4

                                                                                               UGW: 82-83lbs BMI: 15-15.2

 

And yes, I am obsessed with NaLu

 

Spoiler 

 

Spoiler 

 

I love Billie ♡

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#68 kixcat

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 05:23 PM

You are the cutest thing!!

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#69 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 05:41 PM

more shadow checks 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#70 VeraShipsNaLu

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 05:45 PM

I love using my shadow to bodycheck cause my shadow looks WAYYYYYYY skinnier lol

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                                                                                           she/her

                                                                                              16

 

                                                                                              5'2"

 

                                                                                           89-91lbs

 

                                                                                      16.3-16.6 bmi

 

                                                           33"- 34" shoulders  12-13" from shoulder to shoulder

                                                                                        28" bust

                                                                                        25" under bust

                                                                                        22" waist

                                                                                        33" hips

 

                                                        17.2 inch thighs at the thickest part (when I'm standing)

 

                                                                                               GW1: 87-88lbs BMI: 15.9-16.1

                                                                                               GW2: 85-86lbs BMI: 15.5-15.7

                                                                                               GW3: 83-84lbs BMI: 15.2-15.4

                                                                                               UGW: 82-83lbs BMI: 15-15.2

 

And yes, I am obsessed with NaLu

 

Spoiler 

 

Spoiler 

 

I love Billie ♡

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#71 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 05:48 PM

VeraShipsNaLu, on 15 Jun 2022 - 5:45 PM, said:

I love using my shadow to bodycheck cause my shadow looks WAYYYYYYY skinnier lol

EXACTLYY

• Like This

certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#72 Milianna

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 07:35 PM

Dude I'm still in awe of how pretty you are. I'm a little concerned since you know, b/p is awful but yeah. I'm always fucking shocked at how skinny you look because I look so bad at a bmi of 18 and I could have sworn you were much lower

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#73 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 15 June 2022 - 07:45 PM

Milianna, on 15 Jun 2022 - 7:35 PM, said:

Dude I'm still in awe of how pretty you are. I'm a little concerned since you know, b/p is awful but yeah. I'm always fucking shocked at how skinny you look because I look so bad at a bmi of 18 and I could have sworn you were much lower

you’re so sweet!!! i’m actually trying to stop b/p, i’m ten days clean as of today!! hopefully it will last 
you give off older sister vibes with how much you care, i really appreciate it and always look forward to reading your replies <3 and trust me you do not look as bad as you see yourself in your head, body dysmorphia is a bitch and i’m sad that someone as kind as you feels like that because you don’t deserve it at all 

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#74 Milianna

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Posted 16 June 2022 - 04:21 AM

ch3rrysyrup, on 15 Jun 2022 - 7:45 PM, said:

you’re so sweet!!! i’m actually trying to stop b/p, i’m ten days clean as of today!! hopefully it will last 
you give off older sister vibes with how much you care, i really appreciate it and always look forward to reading your replies <3 and trust me you do not look as bad as you see yourself in your head, body dysmorphia is a bitch and i’m sad that someone as kind as you feels like that because you don’t deserve it at all 

Awww thank you for your sweet reply. I do care about you and everyone else. I hope to be a positive influence in this forum as much as I can and show people I do care.

Funny you say big sister vibes because irl I am a big sister lmao. Well she doesn't have an ED per say.... Well, she used to binge and restrict but it didn't last terribly long and she still does binge sometimes. I'm not sure. But I wish her the best as well as you all here

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#75 seksouu

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Posted 16 June 2022 - 04:38 AM

WOWWW i didn’t know you were so cuteeee and skinny omg i’m jealous  and that little selfie thread was the most adorable thing i’ve ever seen LMAOO BUT SRSIOUSLY GORGEOUS

hopefully you’re doing alright and congrats on being 10 days bp free!! it really is a bitch to get over so this is a big accomplishment, and you’ll get the hang of it easily


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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age 18

height: 5'1.5 (156 cm)                                

                                  

lw: 98.6 (44.7 kg)              bmi   18.3                               

 

cw: 98.6 lbs (44.7 kg)     bmi    18.3       (this was a while ago.... lol)

 

ugw: 88 (39.9 kg)             bmi    16.4

 

accountability (if you dare)

https://www.myproana...-bmiemoji3517/ 

 

 

 

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#76 violet_liketheflower

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Posted 16 June 2022 - 05:13 AM

What are u even talking about woman!! You're literally gorgeous and ur smile is so beautiful 

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just your average angry frustrated barely functioning human  

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#77 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 16 June 2022 - 08:21 PM

UGH i hate how i look right now i need to lose more weight 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#78 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 16 June 2022 - 08:30 PM

also i have covid and feel like dog shit
IDEK how i got it, i tested positive this morning but legit have not left the house this week erm 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#79 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted 16 June 2022 - 08:37 PM

DAMN i look like hot trash 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#80 VeraShipsNaLu

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Posted 16 June 2022 - 08:47 PM

your legs are so skinny!!!!!!!! Wish I were taller.

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                                                                                           she/her

                                                                                              16

 

                                                                                              5'2"

 

                                                                                           89-91lbs

 

                                                                                      16.3-16.6 bmi

 

                                                           33"- 34" shoulders  12-13" from shoulder to shoulder

                                                                                        28" bust

                                                                                        25" under bust

                                                                                        22" waist

                                                                                        33" hips

 

                                                        17.2 inch thighs at the thickest part (when I'm standing)

 

                                                                                               GW1: 87-88lbs BMI: 15.9-16.1

                                                                                               GW2: 85-86lbs BMI: 15.5-15.7

                                                                                               GW3: 83-84lbs BMI: 15.2-15.4

                                                                                               UGW: 82-83lbs BMI: 15-15.2

 

And yes, I am obsessed with NaLu

 

Spoiler 

 

Spoiler 

 

I love Billie ♡

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spocksoup

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Posted 16 June 2022 - 11:41 PM

omg you’re so cute and I love your smile! ❤️

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height: 5 ft 7.5 in (171 cm) sw: 136 (bmi 21) cw: MAMMOTH lw: 74 (bmi 11.6) gw: 80 (bmi 12.4) ugw: not having an eating disorder

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#82 waifina

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Posted 17 June 2022 - 12:50 AM

love this thread! also you’re so skinny and pretty aaaaahhhh <3 giving me inspo to start a bodycheck thread :0

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#83 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted Yesterday, 08:14 PM

WHY ARE MY ARMS SO MUSCULAR 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#84 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted Yesterday, 08:19 PM

also more legs because it’s the only thing i can stand about myself 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#85 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted Yesterday, 08:20 PM

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#86 VeraShipsNaLu

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Posted Yesterday, 08:29 PM

ch3rrysyrup, on 18 Jun 2022 - 8:14 PM, said:

WHY ARE MY ARMS SO MUSCULAR 


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Your arm is REALLY smol, trust me.

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                                                            Stats ♡

                                                                                          

                                                                                           she/her

                                                                                              16

 

                                                                                              5'2"

 

                                                                                           89-91lbs

 

                                                                                      16.3-16.6 bmi

 

                                                           33"- 34" shoulders  12-13" from shoulder to shoulder

                                                                                        28" bust

                                                                                        25" under bust

                                                                                        22" waist

                                                                                        33" hips

 

                                                        17.2 inch thighs at the thickest part (when I'm standing)

 

                                                                                               GW1: 87-88lbs BMI: 15.9-16.1

                                                                                               GW2: 85-86lbs BMI: 15.5-15.7

                                                                                               GW3: 83-84lbs BMI: 15.2-15.4

                                                                                               UGW: 82-83lbs BMI: 15-15.2

 

And yes, I am obsessed with NaLu

 

Spoiler 

 

Spoiler 

 

I love Billie ♡

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#87 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted Yesterday, 08:33 PM

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#88 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted Yesterday, 08:33 PM

VeraShipsNaLu, on 18 Jun 2022 - 8:29 PM, said:

Your arm is REALLY smol, trust me.

thank u  you’re so sweet

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#89 VeraShipsNaLu

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Posted Yesterday, 08:42 PM

ch3rrysyrup, on 18 Jun 2022 - 8:33 PM, said:

thank u  you’re so sweet

just speaking the truth 

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                                                                                           she/her

                                                                                              16

 

                                                                                              5'2"

 

                                                                                           89-91lbs

 

                                                                                      16.3-16.6 bmi

 

                                                           33"- 34" shoulders  12-13" from shoulder to shoulder

                                                                                        28" bust

                                                                                        25" under bust

                                                                                        22" waist

                                                                                        33" hips

 

                                                        17.2 inch thighs at the thickest part (when I'm standing)

 

                                                                                               GW1: 87-88lbs BMI: 15.9-16.1

                                                                                               GW2: 85-86lbs BMI: 15.5-15.7

                                                                                               GW3: 83-84lbs BMI: 15.2-15.4

                                                                                               UGW: 82-83lbs BMI: 15-15.2

 

And yes, I am obsessed with NaLu

 

Spoiler 

 

Spoiler 

 

I love Billie ♡

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#90 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted Yesterday, 10:48 PM

swimsuit that i got 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#91 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted Yesterday, 10:48 PM

and for some reason i wanted to put on my kakegurui cosplay outfit that i never actually used 


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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#92 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted Yesterday, 10:49 PM

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#93 p1llhead

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Posted Today, 04:28 AM

Ur so cute and omg homestuck

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22 | he/they

BMI: 16.5

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#94 DistressedOrange

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Posted Today, 06:03 AM

Your thighs are so tiny, your clothes are adorable and your arms look so slim and toned.... you look perfect, like a model, I'm awestruck 

Sent from my SM-A326B using Tapatalk

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https://www.myproana...-selfie-thread/

If you want to see me for some reason







Self centered hoe

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#95 ch3rrysyrup

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Posted Today, 06:08 AM

DistressedOrange, on 19 Jun 2022 - 06:03 AM, said:

Your thighs are so tiny, your clothes are adorable and your arms look so slim and toned.... you look perfect, like a model, I'm awestruck 
Sent from my SM-A326B using Tapatalk

you’re so kind!!! thank you so much you have no idea how much it means 

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certified hot mess
an b/p
5’8
hw: 160
lw: 104
cw: 122.2 (PLATEAU BROKE HELL YEAH)
gw1: 110
(same stats as jang wonyoung: 103)
gw2: 100
gw3: 95
ugw: 90, 85(bmi 13) if i still hate myself rip

whyyyyyy am i so fat

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#96 baboy

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Posted Today, 06:18 AM

girl getchu ass to a modeling agency asap
im not kiddin fr
u have a perfect body 

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im bilingual so thats dope ig
class clown
gay asf

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adalive

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Posted Yesterday, 08:45 AM

18/06/2022
 

CW: 45.02kg from 17/06

Cals: 628

 

 

Food

 

Spoiler 

will likely be eating outside tomorrow and i am not looking forward to logging that.. itll probably put me up to over 1000 tbh

also i have realized just how much liquids i eat lol, literally 4 of the 5 things i ate today were liquids, and the other one was noodles in a liquid

 

I reformatted how mfp shows my meals because ive realized i dont really have breakfast, lunch and dinner as much as i have first, second and third meals. Like today i had my "dinner" at 6 instead of lunch, but then had another meal at 11pm, and i wouldnt count my soup at 11pm as a snack either because i straight up have that for a meal instead of a snack like what hot chocolate or popcorn would be. So ive reformatted it so it no longer will look like i have breakfast, no lunch, and then 2 dinners lol.

 

Also realizing its easy to not eat when you just forget to eat, my body just straight up will not tell me its hungry until i look at the time and go "ah! i forgot lunch!" and then itll start growling and acting like it was begging for food the whole time

 

Body Check
 
No body check today but i'll likely have one tomorrow in an outfit since im going out w/ friends!

 

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 ⥽ Accountability ⥼

⥽ Pastries Pastries Pastries ! ! ! ⥼

⥽ Stupid Thoughts ⥼

 

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#27 adalive

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Posted Today, 02:38 AM

19/06/2022
 

CW: 45.02kg from 17/06

Cals: 1685

 

 

Food

 

Spoiler 

 

Its me! I ate so much today and yet i still feel hungry  no wonder its so easy to get fat when such little food has so many calories.

 

Enjoyed hanging out with friends obviously but not eating literally more than 2 days worth of calories in one outing, but ah well! thats life lol

 

Body Check
 

Spoiler 

 

Me! felt cute! also sorry for jumping around and looking generally hyper. had a lot of caffeine in hopes id shit (didnt work :')) Legs really do look so much skinnier in black huh?  I was also the skinniest person i saw at the mall! made me feel so valid, especially when i saw girls looking at my legs in clothing stores.

 

My legs look so similar to how they did at my LW here and that makes me super happy tbh, maybe they'll look even skinnier when i get down to 43?

 

on the topic of weight, I can not believe i am 45 currently, it has to be bec of constipation because i look way thinner than i did when i was 45 before getting down to 44 (and then up again cause i got sick).

 

 

As a side note I may just have another meal, because ive already ruined my restriction for today anyway, and i know if i go to bed feeling hungry (how brain? how?) itll be that much harder to not binge tomorrow after work. Ill post the pic and cals in an edit under the already existing one bec im too lazy to reformat it 

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 ⥽ Accountability ⥼

⥽ Pastries Pastries Pastries ! ! ! ⥼

⥽ Stupid Thoughts ⥼

 

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫

 

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frozenyogurt

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Posted Today, 07:09 AM

hello I'm 30 but I dress like I'm 5 

  

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my english is ugly and so am I
accountability 
 

Spoiler 

 

height: 175 cm / 5'9
hw: 59 kg / 132 lbs (bmi 19.3)
cw/lw: 46.3 kg / 102 lbs (bmi 15) 

 

 

 

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#428 Me.

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Posted Today, 04:09 AM

Here they are  my embroidery projects over the last couple of weeks. I’ve wrapped them both and put them in my suitcase to bring to the belated birthday girls when I go down to visit next week for Pride.



I’m kinda contemplating to make myself one too now, because all of a sudden I don’t have anything hobby-like to put my hands on 😅 I have lots of stuff I can do. I have to pack my life into boxes, sort out what I need to bring, I can play pc games, I have my AHS to watch, but I’m missing the hobby part where I watch while enjoying the zen of my hobby. I’m not like this all the time, but I’m in one of those hobby bubbles right now.

I think I should make my main goal right now to go binge free for as long as possible. I snapped last night and I purged a little of it but then I just went and had more to eat. I was in a trance of sorts and I hate it looking back.

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Accountability teleport button

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teddy ♡

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Posted 10 June 2022 - 05:33 PM

ok i have the same lately so here are some ideas of simple foods that CAN be cute too!

- fruit cups/plates 

- sandwiches! 

- milkshakes 

 

also try to do this:

- cute and small plates, cutlery, cups

- tiny portions (of anything!)

hope that helps ♡

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hw: 65 kg (bmi 22.0)

cw: 49 kg (bmi 16.6)

gw: 40 kg (bmi 13.5) 

english is not my fisrt language so please excuse any mistakes ♡

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#22 skinnyballerina0

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Posted 10 June 2022 - 05:38 PM

fat.and.sad, on 10 Jun 2022 - 3:27 PM, said:

Mochi, boba, warm milk, smoothie bowls

 

 

Transparent_Ana, on 10 Jun 2022 - 3:41 PM, said:

Marshmallows are pink and white, they are cute.

 

 

MindOverFatter, on 10 Jun 2022 - 3:47 PM, said:

Do you have any mini cookie cutters? What about making sandwiches and cutting them into cute little shapes? You could also use a melon baller and have a side of little balls of fruit.

 

 

little bunny, on 10 Jun 2022 - 3:48 PM, said:

Pink Halo Top!

 

 

Cappucinoprincess, on 10 Jun 2022 - 5:14 PM, said:

I think this could happen to me.

But i eat everything now.
And it payed out.
My bones are " cute " according to scan. 

Pink sorbet?
Watermelon?
Pink champagne?
Rose wine?
Salsa?
Fresh strawberries with whip cream?
There is plenty of beautiful food.

 

 

teddyscarf, on 10 Jun 2022 - 5:33 PM, said:

ok i have the same lately so here are some ideas of simple foods that CAN be cute too!

- fruit cups/plates 1.jpg

- sandwiches! 2.jpg

- milkshakes 3.jpg

 

also try to do this:

- cute and small plates, cutlery, cups

- tiny portions (of anything!)

4.jpg

hope that helps ♡

 

Thank you so much to everyone. This really means a lot and I'll definitely be doing some of these. I mostly made this to vent, and the fact that people took time out of their days to help really means so much to me, thank you so much <333

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#23 escarity

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Posted 11 June 2022 - 07:13 PM

fruit is cute

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#24 Swan_Feathers

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Posted 12 June 2022 - 12:07 AM

Oh yes, i totally feel you!!

-I have a bunch of cute plates/bowls/mugs/lunchboxes and tiny spoons and forks and those are the only things that are safe to eat out of/with.

-Small portions: like tea sandwiches, tiny snack cakes or brownies, tiny cookies, just a tiny bowl of normal food like pasta or chicken and veg..

-sliced up fruit or veg, esp they're a pastel color or look cute (apples, peaches, berries, esp raspberries theyre so cute, also you can use tiny cookie cutters i sometimes make cucumber hearts)

-i used to love yogurt, they're all pretty light colors, the pink ones are very cute! Ice cream too

-sushi is also cute to me idk

-i always have a latte for breakfast, in a cute mug (the same one sadly im too scared to rotate bc they dont all hold exactly the same volume), and if im feeling fancy ill make milk foam instead of just chucking the milk in there and if ur not scared of the cals you can decorate it with a drizzle of some sauce or a dusting of cocoa powder or cinnamon! (if you use a stencil you can put on a heart or a cat face or something like that)
You could also add whipped cream

-other cute/cozy drinks: just milk, strawberey milk, hot cocoa, tea

-asian snacks!! - mochi (some of them are pink or purple aa), pocky (esp the pink ones, there's one thats cherry flavor and the cross section is a heart, so cute 💕💕), tiny cookies in cups, but basically all of them, theyre small portions, pretty colored and have cute packaging

-oh also pralines, they're pretty high cal but aesthetically pleasing

-ruby chocolate or white chocolate

-just decorating your food? - with cute scewers, or veggies in different shapes or arranging the food a certain way

-little pots of jelly (esp if its pinkk) or pudding (again esp if its pink )

-you can make pink smoothies

-oh and cute cereal!! Once i found this adorable pink and white cereal with ball and star shapes, and it was pretty good, i had it almost every day for like 2 months haha

-cereal bars

-chicken, salmon and surimi are pink too <3

-sprinkles if you like them and aren't afraid of the cals

-mini pastries

Some days i used to put my whole planned daily intake in my pink lunchbox and it filled me w sm serotonin xD

I dont do all these anymore bc some turned into fear foods but yeah, they were cute

Okay, that's all i can think of rn, hope you found something that you like xD
Sorry its so longgg

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#25 foreigngirl

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Posted 12 June 2022 - 01:52 AM

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#26 foreigngirl

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Posted 12 June 2022 - 01:54 AM

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#27 idkwhatimdoinggg

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Posted 12 June 2022 - 02:21 AM

Mochi is the cutest thing ever !! All the colors 🥰🥰

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#28 foreigngirl

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Posted 13 June 2022 - 12:40 AM

 

 

 

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#29 Cappucinoprincess

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Posted Today, 03:59 AM

How is it going.

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#30 Luizka

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Posted Today, 04:07 AM

I love cute foods but then i get emotionally connected to them and feel bad to eat them haha! But i think it’s possible to make many foods look cute just by presentation. Like cutting a cute shape, assembling it in a playful way, using cute dishes…

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#31 skinnyballerina0

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Posted Today, 01:57 PM

Cappucinoprincess, on 19 Jun 2022 - 03:59 AM, said:

How is it going.

 

It's going okay. I am very meh about food currently but this thread has helped a lot. I bought a mini bundt cake maker and some strawberry cake/pink icing and so I can make little cakes and eat those! That's definitely also really helpful. Thank you for checking in! <3 how are you?

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