8
bite my shiny metal accountability
Started by itsbenderbaby, Apr 02 2022 02:19 AM
145 replies to this topic
#1 
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Posted 02 April 2022 - 02:19 AM
havent done an accountability in ages, i’ve just been scribbling in my notes app, but i’m gonna start posting again!
intro: i’ve been around a while and had a lot of weight fluctuation, bouncing between bmi 15 to 29 and doing some intense stuff. but for once i’m not being a stickler, i’m just going with the flow! <3
i’m 5’8 and a ‘normal‘ weight, clocking in at 137 lbs at the start of this thread. i have no intake goals and i just do whatever. I am the king of inconsistency. my TDEE is low for medical reasons so for reference, maintenance is about 1400 kcal for me.
I’m determined never to set an ugw again to protect my lil ED brain, so in my tracking app I left 135 lbs as my ‘goal’ cos i think it’s my set point, also partly for some personal reasons.
the beginning of this accountability is messy but later on i started using a daily format to clean it up. i track cals, weight, occasional body checks, and thoughts :^)
(this post was updated in june!)
intro: i’ve been around a while and had a lot of weight fluctuation, bouncing between bmi 15 to 29 and doing some intense stuff. but for once i’m not being a stickler, i’m just going with the flow! <3
i’m 5’8 and a ‘normal‘ weight, clocking in at 137 lbs at the start of this thread. i have no intake goals and i just do whatever. I am the king of inconsistency. my TDEE is low for medical reasons so for reference, maintenance is about 1400 kcal for me.
I’m determined never to set an ugw again to protect my lil ED brain, so in my tracking app I left 135 lbs as my ‘goal’ cos i think it’s my set point, also partly for some personal reasons.
the beginning of this accountability is messy but later on i started using a daily format to clean it up. i track cals, weight, occasional body checks, and thoughts :^)
(this post was updated in june!)
#2
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Posted 02 April 2022 - 02:22 AM
INTAKE TRACKING PAGE (updated regularly)
ෆ ♡ ෆ
770 — march 19
880 — march 20
860 — march 21
1710 — march 22
810 — march 23
675 — march 24
800 — march 25
1340 — march 26
795 — march 27
1080 — march 28
800 — march 29
770 — march 30
680 — march 31
1080 — april 1
1225 — april 2
1290 — april 3
940 — april 4
490 — april 5
1600 — april 6
1910 — april 7
520 — april 8
1245 — april 9
975 — april 10
1450 — april 11
3000 estimated — april 12
2500 estimated — april 13
980 — april 14
730 — april 15
900 — april 16
1070 — april 17
980 — april 18
680 — april 19
1640 — april 20
570 — april 21
630 — april 22
1030 — april 23
1560 — april 24
1570 — april 25
1270 — april 26
885 — april 27
950 — april 28
1610 — april 29
760 — april 30
2500 estimated — may 1
1330 — may 2
1520 — may 3
1240 — may 4
1300 — may 5
870 — may 6
1380 — may 7
1890 — may 8
1300 — may 9
950 — may 10
1350 — may 11
3000 estimated — may 12
940 — may 13
990 — may 14
1080 — may 15
990 — may 16
1110 — may 17
790 — may 18
2095 — may 19
1000 — may 20
1145 — may 21
1240 — may 22
945 — may 23
800 — may 24
1760 — may 25
1150 — may 26
1060 — may 27
820 — may 28
1180 — may 29
1650 — may 30
1475 — may 31
1580 — june 1
1405 — june 2
1210 — june 3
1320 — june 4
1355 — june 5
1200 — june 6
1105 — june 7
455 — june 8
770 — june 9
550 — june 10
680 — june 11
830 — june 12
435 — june 13
590 — june 14
480 — june 15
420 — june 16
650 — june 17
635 — june 18
710 — june 19
670 — june 20
ෆ ♡ ෆ
ෆ ♡ ෆ
770 — march 19
880 — march 20
860 — march 21
1710 — march 22
810 — march 23
675 — march 24
800 — march 25
1340 — march 26
795 — march 27
1080 — march 28
800 — march 29
770 — march 30
680 — march 31
1080 — april 1
1225 — april 2
1290 — april 3
940 — april 4
490 — april 5
1600 — april 6
1910 — april 7
520 — april 8
1245 — april 9
975 — april 10
1450 — april 11
3000 estimated — april 12
2500 estimated — april 13
980 — april 14
730 — april 15
900 — april 16
1070 — april 17
980 — april 18
680 — april 19
1640 — april 20
570 — april 21
630 — april 22
1030 — april 23
1560 — april 24
1570 — april 25
1270 — april 26
885 — april 27
950 — april 28
1610 — april 29
760 — april 30
2500 estimated — may 1
1330 — may 2
1520 — may 3
1240 — may 4
1300 — may 5
870 — may 6
1380 — may 7
1890 — may 8
1300 — may 9
950 — may 10
1350 — may 11
3000 estimated — may 12
940 — may 13
990 — may 14
1080 — may 15
990 — may 16
1110 — may 17
790 — may 18
2095 — may 19
1000 — may 20
1145 — may 21
1240 — may 22
945 — may 23
800 — may 24
1760 — may 25
1150 — may 26
1060 — may 27
820 — may 28
1180 — may 29
1650 — may 30
1475 — may 31
1580 — june 1
1405 — june 2
1210 — june 3
1320 — june 4
1355 — june 5
1200 — june 6
1105 — june 7
455 — june 8
770 — june 9
550 — june 10
680 — june 11
830 — june 12
435 — june 13
590 — june 14
480 — june 15
420 — june 16
650 — june 17
635 — june 18
710 — june 19
670 — june 20
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#3
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Posted 02 April 2022 - 06:01 AM
for funsies, here is a graph of my nightmarishly changeable weight over the past 5 years (edit: removed cos i’m embarrassed), and some body checks from my current bmi, which is around 21
#4
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Posted 02 April 2022 - 06:02 AM
sooo the shopping delivery just came and i got some stuff.
sugar free strawberry jello, 5 calories, it tastes like artificial slime but it’s 20 bites of food for 5 kcal so who cares. petit filous no added sugar kids yoghurt, 40 kcal per pot. honey yoghurt (very ritzy), 130 kcal for 1/4 tub but that‘s more than i would eat in one go so it might end up being less per serving when i have it. chewing gum which I haven’t had in like 2 years... well, it turns out there’s a reason, i hate it so I wasted £1 lol. and double choc caramel magnum ice cream! it’s a mini version and it’s 184 kcal per stick, which feels like some kind of trick cos they’re so filling and intense?! also I got some spinach to pad out my meals, gonna just add some leaves sometimes cos it’s an extra couple mouthfuls for less calories.
wow I sure had a lot of thoughts about my shopping. maybe it was worth it to make a thread lol
sugar free strawberry jello, 5 calories, it tastes like artificial slime but it’s 20 bites of food for 5 kcal so who cares. petit filous no added sugar kids yoghurt, 40 kcal per pot. honey yoghurt (very ritzy), 130 kcal for 1/4 tub but that‘s more than i would eat in one go so it might end up being less per serving when i have it. chewing gum which I haven’t had in like 2 years... well, it turns out there’s a reason, i hate it so I wasted £1 lol. and double choc caramel magnum ice cream! it’s a mini version and it’s 184 kcal per stick, which feels like some kind of trick cos they’re so filling and intense?! also I got some spinach to pad out my meals, gonna just add some leaves sometimes cos it’s an extra couple mouthfuls for less calories.
wow I sure had a lot of thoughts about my shopping. maybe it was worth it to make a thread lol
#5
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Posted 03 April 2022 - 02:09 AM
i think I’m losing faster than I’d like, its making me preoccupied with my metabolism right now. might stick to 900-1300 cal for a few days and see what happens. i have fears that im going to gain or maintain but I need to remind myself that that literally doesn’t matter. I’m not on a diet I’m just seeing what happens
so, onwards.
oh also I’m going to be at my dad’s for the next 2 days which usually means eating a LOT, so we’ll see how that goes. who knows, I might end up eating 2000 cal or something
so, onwards.
oh also I’m going to be at my dad’s for the next 2 days which usually means eating a LOT, so we’ll see how that goes. who knows, I might end up eating 2000 cal or something
#6
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Posted 03 April 2022 - 02:12 AM
I have the worst headache rn and i can’t take more painkillers foR 2 hours. I also haven’t eaten today which isn’t helping. gonna eat 130 calories of cauliflower when mom gets home, and i might take painkillers early. sue me :c
#7
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Posted 04 April 2022 - 10:38 AM
so on 1st april i hit a plateau the exact second i increased my intake to 1000-1300 kcal a day.
coincidence? I think not. technically i’ve steadily gained 0.6 lbs in the last 4 days
for a few complicated reasons my TDEE is 1300-1400 a day (even though I’m tall and normal weight), so this makes sense i guess. it’s just off putting cos my appetite is the exact same as back when my TDEE was like 2000. and i can’t exercise to even things out
coincidence? I think not. technically i’ve steadily gained 0.6 lbs in the last 4 days
for a few complicated reasons my TDEE is 1300-1400 a day (even though I’m tall and normal weight), so this makes sense i guess. it’s just off putting cos my appetite is the exact same as back when my TDEE was like 2000. and i can’t exercise to even things out
#8
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Posted 04 April 2022 - 09:56 PM
the relief i felt when i clocked in at 136.4 again is a GREAT example of how much of a dumbass my brain is rn. my weight only fluctuated by less than a pound and I’ve been going nuts over it, now I’m back down to what i weighed 4 days ago and i feel elated even though logically these are normal insignificant fluctuations.
I probably should limit myself to weekly weigh-ins or something, but i just love numbers too much and I GOTTA weigh myself every day. also if i do it weekly then i won’t be able to add up my beloved 7 day averages anymore, and tbey always reassure me that im getting an accurate reading!!
I probably should limit myself to weekly weigh-ins or something, but i just love numbers too much and I GOTTA weigh myself every day. also if i do it weekly then i won’t be able to add up my beloved 7 day averages anymore, and tbey always reassure me that im getting an accurate reading!!
#9
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Posted 05 April 2022 - 08:16 AM
I feel unwell so i was gna eat something nourishing and nice, but then my mom and sister started having a secret conversation literally while I was talking to the both of them. im sensitive right now and it hurt my feelings so i don’t want to eat now so im probably just going to have some shitty 50 kcal soup
#10
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Posted 05 April 2022 - 09:54 PM
huh. unexpected. not only did I not eat the ‘nice’ thing, i didn’t even eat the soup either. so yesterday’s total is like 500, instead of the 1000 i was aiming for.
I’ll probably have the soup for breakfast or something.
it’s 6am and there’s 1 person in my house who’s awake but he’s a zombie rn, so i can still weigh myself if im quiet
dad has given me a massive Easter egg which has been constantly on my mind. first of all I don’t know why he bought it cos I’m well into adulthood and I thought i told him i don’t need easter eggs. but it was so sweet and kind of him because he’s trying to connect with me more. and that specific type of chocolate is actually the first thing i ate after I was back in a safe place after a traumatic event so it feels special to me, lol. makes me happy. I’m just trying to figure out when tf i would eat it. the whole thing is 1100 calories and if i eat 1/10th at a time that’ll average out as 110 cal which doesn’t seem bad tbh.
I’ve had the thing for a few days and haven’t opened it yet, which isn’t like me. I’m a bit intimidated by it
I’ll probably have the soup for breakfast or something.
it’s 6am and there’s 1 person in my house who’s awake but he’s a zombie rn, so i can still weigh myself if im quiet
dad has given me a massive Easter egg which has been constantly on my mind. first of all I don’t know why he bought it cos I’m well into adulthood and I thought i told him i don’t need easter eggs. but it was so sweet and kind of him because he’s trying to connect with me more. and that specific type of chocolate is actually the first thing i ate after I was back in a safe place after a traumatic event so it feels special to me, lol. makes me happy. I’m just trying to figure out when tf i would eat it. the whole thing is 1100 calories and if i eat 1/10th at a time that’ll average out as 110 cal which doesn’t seem bad tbh.
I’ve had the thing for a few days and haven’t opened it yet, which isn’t like me. I’m a bit intimidated by it
#11
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Posted 06 April 2022 - 03:04 AM
yesterday was a low day at under 500 cal, and i intended to eat about 700-1000 today but i feel really shitty physically, groggy and achy, and i have a feeling i’m going to end up eating a higher amount to feel better.
but im so exhausted that maybe I’ll fall asleep for the night before 3pm again and get lucky
edit: I did not get lucky. i didn’t go to sleep and i ate lots.
but im so exhausted that maybe I’ll fall asleep for the night before 3pm again and get lucky
edit: I did not get lucky. i didn’t go to sleep and i ate lots.
#12
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Posted 07 April 2022 - 02:11 AM
135.4 lbs. probably seems high to a lot of people and 2017 me would have vomited at the thought of that number but I’m just relieved to see my weight below 136. even if this is just a fluke, I’ve been seeing 136 day after day for a full week now and I am legit done with that number.
my ED brain just so desperate for my weight to get below 135 again, and to STAY THERE. 135 is a special number cos i think it’s my set point, and also it was both the highest weight i had in 3 years and the lowest weight I had in 4 years. that sounds convoluted I know but I promise it makes sense
my ED brain just so desperate for my weight to get below 135 again, and to STAY THERE. 135 is a special number cos i think it’s my set point, and also it was both the highest weight i had in 3 years and the lowest weight I had in 4 years. that sounds convoluted I know but I promise it makes sense
#13
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Posted 07 April 2022 - 07:09 AM
I made... an error, shall we say? I went out the house for an appointment so i was on an adrenaline kick and mom took me to macdonalds AND a cafe before and after the appointment. I ate 1/4 a scone and half an avocado toast and half a coffee at the cafe, and a whole muffin and hashbrown at macdonalds which adds up to 1100 calories. ahhhahahah
#14
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Posted 08 April 2022 - 09:11 PM
ive tried to make some kinda meal plan for today. yesterday thru some miracle I managed to stay under 600 cal because I was so sleepy, but i don’t think I’ll get that lucky twice.
my dad’s wedding is in 5 months and i can’t be sitting at the head table looking like THIS. I can’t. especially not next to my sister, who i always used to be skinner than, but now who looks way skinnier than me. it feels a little unfair coz we‘re the same weight currently but she has muscles whereas i have muscle wastage so i have proportionally a lot more fat, which makes me look like I weigh 30 lbs more than her.
god I hate this
my dad’s wedding is in 5 months and i can’t be sitting at the head table looking like THIS. I can’t. especially not next to my sister, who i always used to be skinner than, but now who looks way skinnier than me. it feels a little unfair coz we‘re the same weight currently but she has muscles whereas i have muscle wastage so i have proportionally a lot more fat, which makes me look like I weigh 30 lbs more than her.
god I hate this
#15
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Posted 09 April 2022 - 10:06 AM
im literally losing slower on purpose yet the slowness is still stressing me out. I have stomach ache. I’m going to eat a piece of toast 
#16
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Posted 09 April 2022 - 11:32 PM
so i thought about it. and the wedding is in 20 weeks. and it would be cool if i suppose maybe incidentally I had lost 10-20 lbs by then. so that levels out at an extremely chill 1 lb per week, or even 0.5 lb per week.
so I think I need to relax because even my loss is slow and bumpy right now it’s perfectly on track for a slow timetable like that. I don’t need fast loss, I’ve done it before and it just messes with my metabolism
so I think I need to relax because even my loss is slow and bumpy right now it’s perfectly on track for a slow timetable like that. I don’t need fast loss, I’ve done it before and it just messes with my metabolism
#17
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Posted 10 April 2022 - 03:41 AM
been awake 9 hours and I’ve had 215 calories today, looking ok so far. having boiled carrots and tinned peaches for lunch. been VERY bold and VERY risky and ordered some hot cross buns in our online shopping, 185 cal each and far more if I eat them with butter, which I will. but I’m currently trying to stick to 1000-1300 cals a day to keep my weight loss slow, so 300 calories of buttered hot cross bun would no longer be half a day’s intake, it’d be ok in moderation. I gotta chill.
anyway. most important reminder of all: SLOWEST WEIGHT LOSS IS THE MOST SUSTAINABLE, and it’s not just about the wedding, it’s also vital that I look/feel ok when on vacation in december. december is 8 months.
anyway. most important reminder of all: SLOWEST WEIGHT LOSS IS THE MOST SUSTAINABLE, and it’s not just about the wedding, it’s also vital that I look/feel ok when on vacation in december. december is 8 months.
#18
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Posted 10 April 2022 - 03:44 AM
btw I have a stomachache from how horribly bloated I feel from the quality of what I ate yesterday, but im about to weigh myself anyway, even though I know I will have gained. (food weight + natural fluctuation + possibly even some real actual gain?) my guess is that I’ll be 2lbs up but speculation achieves nothing lolz
update: up 0.8 lbs. back to the dreaded 136
update: up 0.8 lbs. back to the dreaded 136
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#20
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Posted 12 April 2022 - 03:29 PM
ok for personal reasons and partly just to see what happens I’m gonna spend a couple days not counting calories and probably not tracking weight either. will write down an estimate for my calorie intake though!
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