#181 
Posted 21 June 2022 - 11:37 AM
intake
jimmy’s iced coffee
buttermilk pancake w 13g nutella
24g pringles
total: 451 calories
lol .. was doing so well having only had the coffee until half an hour ago when my mom came in w the groceries. and she bought pringles for me again hahaha fuck. i won’t binge on them this time though, i can’t. simply not having it
for my second year of college i have to move from a nursery to a primary school to get my work experience hours in. so tom i have an interview w the head teacher of one and omfg i’m gonna shit myself i’m so scared. i have sm riding on this interview bc if i don’t get it, college has to find somewhere for me to do my hours and they can send you anywhere in the city. no way in fuck am i travelling on three buses to get to the school and then three back. this one is like a 15 min walk from my house which isn’t the closest but still it’s better than being sent miles away. if i don’t get this i’ll cry LMAO
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#182 
Posted 21 June 2022 - 04:40 PM
can’t help but feel like i’ve gained 20 pounds even tho it’s impossible
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#183 
Posted 22 June 2022 - 03:31 AM
96.1 lbs ; 43.5 kg
bmi 18.8
why is it that every time i start a new accountability thread i lose a bunch of weight at the start but more or less maintain or slightly gain after. like ik i’m less than 2 lbs above the lw this thread has seen but it’s still weight i coulda lost instead of gained. also wow it is hot i feel yucky and sweaty which probs didn’t help
but at least the interview went well !! i got the place so i’m not too mad ab weighing so much
also i wore jeans and with a sorta tight shirt tucked in and the combo made my waist look so small like damn i may not be happy with the scale but at least i look skinny. today is a good day for bdd n im here for it
#184 
Posted 22 June 2022 - 12:19 PM
intake
costa iced latte w skimmed milk
pringles
brioche swirl
french fries
total: 577 calories
so yeah the interview went well. it was barely even an interview, she lit just asked me a couple of practical details and told me i was in. kind of dumb of me to be so scared lolsies
went shopping after and found that lit all of the cute dresses are made of that clingy fabric that sticks to every single curve. like what are the insecure girls supposed to wear 🤨🤨
i feel like the barista put syrup in my coffee even tho i didn’t ask for it bc it tasted weirdly sweet. like idk if i’m imagining it or nah but i noticed straight away that sth wasn’t quite right. checked the nutritional info on the website and apparently a pump of syrup is like 300 calories ?? there’s no way that has to be correct lmfao right. it’s impossible that i unknowingly drank 400 calories when the actual drink is only 81 pls
i’m probs 95 lbs again bc my luck is shite and i had a fat bm after that weigh in. didn’t check again bc i’d had a litre of water by that point but that’s okay. i wanna be 88 lbs by the first of august and 81 by september. i think that’s doable
my moms friends w this lady on our street who has an anorexic daughter and she keeps comparing us. she’s coming out of IP tonight and my mom said that i should go back in her place. my family keep talking about her and it’s rly frustrating bc they don’t know shit ab ed’s but think they’re the most woke ppl ever ugh
#185 
Posted 22 June 2022 - 12:38 PM
#186 
Posted 23 June 2022 - 11:15 AM
intake
two brioche swirls
iced coffee
bag of crisps n pringles
chinese takeaway
can of coke
chicken rice
total: 2000~
yeah so this is the story of why i became a hermit. why is eating considered to be the ideal social activity. why can’t people bond over ice water or starbucks coffee
the grilled chicken n rice was good w me bc the nutritional info from the restaurant we got it from said it was 700 calories per box but i had less than half so i put it at 350 to be safe. that’s not bad bc it was yummy and p low cal even tho fast food nutritional info isn’t rly accurate
made the iced coffee in my cousins presence so i couldn’t use my scales to weigh the milk and sugar but even that didn’t bother me much bc how many calories can a splash of milk and a bit of sugar be
but ofc my family decided to order chinese food and pressurise me until i ordered sth. i kept saying no but my mom started making jokes about how i was saying no bc i wanted to develop anorexia. that pissed me off so i was like yk what fuck you how can i have anorexia if i’m eating? anorexics don’t eat so clearly i’m not anorexic. obv that’s bullshit but they don’t know any better. so that was that, wanted to die as i was eating it. still do tbh. i don’t know why i try and hide my ed anymore. everyone knows i have food issues but idk i get so embarrassed when anyone points them out. it feels like a callout so i’d rather avoid making it noticeable :/
#187 
Posted 23 June 2022 - 12:05 PM
#188 
Posted 23 June 2022 - 01:14 PM

also i j realised that the secret to getting my images to be less blurry is to pick the medium option instead of the small LOL
#189 
Posted 23 June 2022 - 01:22 PM
i think that i restrict better when i have a strict limit. i’ve tried not caring about how much i eat as long as i’m still in a deficit but that kind of makes my mind think it’s acceptable to eat so much that i’m barely even a deficit anymore. i wish i could be more lenient on myself but it’s all or nothing for me. imma try to stay under like 500 for now until i figure out sth better since not having a limit doesn’t work for me. maybe at a lower weight i’ll increase to like 800 but im fat rn so 500 should be just fine
lol i hate my body so much why do i look so disgusting
#190 
Posted 24 June 2022 - 05:08 AM
intake
iced coffee
16g pringles
two brioche swirls
fries
total: ~800
lmao fuck it’s barely 1pm and i’ve eaten all of my daily calories. what a dumbass honestly. ig when i come home from the nursery at five i’ll have to keep myself busy w distractions since i can’t eat anything else today. or maybe i should eat a little more in the evening and start with my 500 calorie goal tomorrow. we will see
i rly wish i could purge. literally tried every trick in the book but nothing works. my body hates me
i had fries which are probs like 300 so imma estimate 800 for today. 500 cal plan officially starts toms
#191 
Posted 24 June 2022 - 05:08 AM
#192 
Posted 24 June 2022 - 10:22 AM
lmfao edit soz i forgot i was supposed to edit the original post i’ll do that too i’m dumb
i wanna weigh tom but i’m feeling rly bloated so idk ? i’m probs retaining a ton of water and i’ll end up regretting it but maybe that’s what i need to start properly restricting
#193 
Posted 25 June 2022 - 02:54 PM
intake
jimmy’s iced coffee
chicken nuggets and chips
instant ramen w cheese and butter
total: 1400 calories
i’ll get to the high intake later. i’ve got a whole buncha stuff to bitch ab first. cue the long af post
i commented on a tiktok a couple of weeks ago asking where this girl’s necklace was from bc it was cute. now the girl happens to be obese, which is relevant to the story btw i’m not pointing it out for no reason. anyways, i got a reply from a mutual ik from college that said ‘you in four years’. like out of nowhere, i didn’t even tag her in it or anything. we’re not friends and i only follow her bc we made a tiktok together back in like october and i followed her back bc i wanted to make as many friends as possible in my new college. needless to say, we didn’t end up becoming friends and we don’t talk much aside from her making comments on my body to her friends. i ignore that shit bc i don’t care ab what people say about me. but this made me mad bc i don’t know what to make of it. what a weird thing to say. i don’t get it. i check my socials first thing in the morning so i saw that straight away and it ruined my day. thought about it so much and i’m still confused on what she means. is she jealous or projecting? fuck knows
moving on. my mom’s uncle came out of prison to our house on a visit with his wife and kids (he didn’t do anything too bad lmfao dw). he was gonna take them bowling after the visit and offered to take me too bc there was an extra seat in the car. obv at first i said no bc i didn’t wanna intrude on their family day out but he kept insisting so i went. the bowling was fun, and the family did their best to include me in everything but i still kind of felt like they didn’t want me there rip. after the bowling we went to a cafe and i got chicken nuggets and chips from the kids menu. they can’t have been more than 600 calories i don’t think. while i was eating it the youngest child (he’s like 7 and rly naughty) pointed to me and said ‘you’re fat, just like my mommy’. i was like well then lmfao. thanks for that but tm i’ll well aware
you don’t have to tell me twice. his mom told him off but the damage was doneso that combined with the tiktok thing is sort of what made me binge on the ramen. i didn’t wanna sh bc i’m a week clean and i’m hoping to continue that streak. so i ate instead. rly need to find better coping mechanisms. i’m happy that it’s not a big one but still. it’s a binge and i’m disappointed in myself. i feel gross

#194 
Posted 25 June 2022 - 03:01 PM
i got depressed ab more or less maintaining my weight so i decided not to include my cw in the title until my restriction is consistent enough to ensure that the number will steadily decrease
#195 
Posted 25 June 2022 - 03:48 PM
he doesn’t know shit about nutrition, he doesn’t know how little calories that meal was compared to what you’d eaten so far, he doesn’t know how you would feel about that comment even when he’s referencing something else. im sorry it got to you, but you don’t look fat believe me, it’s impossible at this bmi range, hopefully you see it yourself <3
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
age 18
height: 5'1.5 (156 cm)
lw: 98.6 (44.7 kg) bmi 18.3
cw: 98.6 lbs (44.7 kg) bmi 18.3 (this was a while ago.... lol)
ugw: 88 (39.9 kg) bmi 16.4
accountability (if you dare)
https://www.myproana...-bmiemoji3517/
#196 
Posted 25 June 2022 - 10:44 PM
Holy fuck, I'm sorry you had to deal with those dumbass comments today :/ you are absolutely not fat, I bet that dude was prolly trying to trigger you tbh just to be an asshole. And kids say the stupidest shit istg, never take anything they say to heart
18 - He/Him
Stats, Goals, and More Dragons
Stats
Height: 5'5.5" / 65.5in / 166cm
HW: 157lbs / 71kg / BMI 25.7
LW: 145lbs / 65kg / BMI 23.8
SW: 149lbs / 67kg / BMI 24.4
CW: 146lbs / 66kg / BMI 23.9
Goals
GW1: 145lbs / 65kg / BMI 23.8
GW2: 140lbs / 63kg / BMI 22.9
GW3: 135lbs / 61kg / BMI 22.1
GW4: 130lbs / 59kg / BMI 21.3
GW5: 125lbs / 56kg / BMI 20.5
GW6: 120lbs / 54kg / BMI 19.7
GW7: 115lbs / 52kg / BMI 18.8
GW8: 110lbs / 49kg / BMI 18.0
UGW: 105lbs / 47kg / BMI 17.2
_________________________________
Updated May 20th, 2022
#197 
Posted 26 June 2022 - 05:04 AM
seksouu, on 25 Jun 2022 - 3:48 PM, said:
he can’t really have seen you as fat, he probably just associates that kind of meal with “fat” or maybe his mom eats it often. so if he thinks his mom is fat and she ate that meal once, dumbass kid putting 2n2 together. i know kids are more honest or whatever, but im sure he was just talking about the kind of food it was
he doesn’t know shit about nutrition, he doesn’t know how little calories that meal was compared to what you’d eaten so far, he doesn’t know how you would feel about that comment even when he’s referencing something else. im sorry it got to you, but you don’t look fat believe me, it’s impossible at this bmi range, hopefully you see it yourself <3
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
<3 out of all people i should know that kids come out with the stupidest shit. his mom isn’t even fat, which should be proof enough that he’s just bullshitting. plus he’s literally a stupid little kid why am i even LISTENING to him ugh. thank u ily that helps sm 🫶
SadSun, on 25 Jun 2022 - 10:44 PM, said:
you’re back !! i hope things are better for you. man i knoww, on the same day too ?? cba. i told my mom ab it and she agreed with you. ik he doesn’t like me and wanted his dad to ask my brother to come along instead of me. but since he didn’t get his way he was probs saying the most hurtful shit bc he’s a spoiled brat. for someone who works w kids sometimes i can’t stand them LOLHoly fuck, I'm sorry you had to deal with those dumbass comments today :/ you are absolutely not fat, I bet that dude was prolly trying to trigger you tbh just to be an asshole. And kids say the stupidest shit istg, never take anything they say to heart
#198 
Posted 26 June 2022 - 10:15 AM
intake
jimmy’s iced coffee
pringles
seasoned fries
chicken pasta with cheese
total: ~1450
water intake: 1.5 L
everything aside from the pasta had the nutritional information available. pasta was homemade but my mother isn’t the type to add too much oil in her cooking, and it was a small portion. the coffee has been on offer in the supermarket for a couple weeks now so i’ve been stocking up, hence why i’ve been having it so often. otherwise i rarely ever pay full price for it lol
what is it w me and the unintentional maintenance days i’ve been having recently. it’s much better than full on binging but it’s not good enough. it’s finally summer, i have no responsibilities and i don’t have to do anything all day if i don’t want to once i’ve completed the 8 days i have to do in the nursery. there is nothing stopping me from low restricting aside from my fat stomach. i can’t ruin these summer holidays bc when autumn term rolls around i want to start restricting at around 800 so that i can get the best grades possible. i can’t do that unless i lose a substantial amount of weight first so that i feel worthy enough to high res. i need to fix up my act, fast. i’ve had enough of maintaining in the 90s for so long. i’m tired of stepping on the scale and seeing the number start with 9. i need to see the 80s again, and eventually the 70s. if im still in the 90 lb range by the start of august i’ll acc die
#199 
Posted 26 June 2022 - 03:53 PM

is this bc i was talking about how tired i am of maintaining in my last post
nah cuz i’m dying why did you call me out like that whoever you are

RUTHLESS. had to share this bc it’s so mean but so true idk if i should laugh or cry. thanks for the wake up call anon i’ll stop being a disappointment and lose weight i promise 
starting tomorrow xx#200 
Posted 24 June 2022 - 11:54 PM
Calories total today: 780
-Morning: Coffee (0 cals) + Vanilla Nutpods Creamer (30 cals) + Lakanto sweetener (0 cals)
-Afternoon: Nothing
-Evening: Chicken tortilla soup (370 cals) + 2 tbsp sour cream (60 cals) + Shredded cheese (70 cals) + Cotton Candy Cascade Ice sparkling water (0 cals)
-Extra: Nick’s Mint Chocolate Chip Light ice cream (250 cals)
Exercise: Lots of walking at a march for reproductive freedom
Roe v Wade was officially overturned by the supreme court today, which for you non-Americans means that women in half the country woke up this morning suddenly no longer able to access safe and legal abortion in their state. Thankfully my state is a mostly progressive safe haven and the freedom to choose is and will continue to be protected where I live, but it’s still pretty horrifying and dystopian. I was planning to get out of the house anyway since it was really nice out, but we ended up spontaneously going to a march downtown with a few of my husband’s friends from work. I got some sunshine and exercise in and then narrowly avoided having to go out to eat with them. It was late when we got back which is why I’m only just now posting at nearly midnight local time. Also decided to treat myself with the pint of Nick’s I’ve been saving bc I had a ton of calories left. It’s going to be hot this weekend! Like, actually hot. My mom wanted to make plans but I managed to get out of them because this is my last weekend to restrict for a while.
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Posted 25 June 2022 - 11:42 PM
Calories total today: 775
-Morning: Coffee (0 cals) + Vanilla Nutpods Creamer (30 cals) + Lakanto sweetener (0 cals)
-Afternoon: Blueberry Muffin Quest protein bar (180 cals)
-Evening: Seafood Tonkotsu ramen noodle bowl (370 cals) + 2 soft boiled eggs (140 cals) + Green onions (5 cals) + Baby shrimp (60 cals) + Grapefruit Squirt zero sugar (0 cals)
Exercise: Walked a ton
Went shopping, got a couple things off the clearance rack. Seeing my body in the fitting room mirror really fucked with my body image and now I hate myself. I’m so FLABBY and it’s disgusting.
Tomorrow is the annual pride festival and my brother wants us to go with him. I wasn’t planning on going but might end up doing it for him to show my support. I really didn’t want to fuck up my last weekend to restrict but shit never goes as planned for me and I don’t think I could feel worse about about myself anyway.
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#642 
Posted 25 June 2022 - 11:49 PM
#643 
Posted 26 June 2022 - 06:28 AM
I wish I could just hug you when I read how much you hate your body...
I don't have anything to offer that could make it better for you, but just know that you are so so divine, on like every level.
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~i am not a queen i am a motherfucking empress~
~and if you're reading this you are too~
<3
Numbers...
height: 160cm / 5'3
1st GW: 55kg - reached
2nd GW: 50kg
3rd GW: 45kg
4th GW: 40kg
UGW: 38kg
Manifesting...
A4 paper waist
touch belly button from behind
visible hip bones
visible collar- and shoulder bones
defined jawline at every angle
fit into my old kids clothes
thigh gap lying sideways
fit into XXS clothing
fit into my old LW jeans easily
40cm / 16inch thighs
Currently...
700 cals daily
min. 50g protein
one serving has to include fermented foods for the gut
12k min. steps
water and vitamins
fasting 20/4
daily stretching/ soft pilates or yoga
sleep at least 6-9 hours
#644 
Posted 27 June 2022 - 10:25 PM
Calories total today: 790
-Morning: Citrus Ghost energy drink (5 cals)
-Afternoon: Birthday Cake Quest protein bar (180 cals)
-Evening: Black Garlic Tonkotsu ramen noodles (460 cals) + 2 soft boiled eggs (140 cals) + Green onions (5 cals) + Grapefruit Squirt zero sugar (0 cals)
Exercise: A walk
We stayed out late at the pride festival last night and I didn’t have time to update. It was pretty fun, but also an usually hot day, and a people were understandably wearing very little clothing. I couldn’t help but compare my body to others and ended up feeling incredibly self conscious, especially since my body image has been overwhelmingly negative lately to begin with. I didn’t track my cals, we had festival food including gyros, greasy garlic feta fries and an elephant ear (literally a wad of fried dough covered in sugar….my husband and I shared it.) So now I am feeling even more fat and disgusting than before! 🙃 I also managed to get mildly sunburned, despite reapplying sunscreen every few hours religiously.
We had our hottest day so far this year today (~90° F; up until now it has been mostly in the 60’s) so we gave in and hooked up the portable air conditioner. Our apartment is on the 4th floor, really small and stuffy and doesn’t have built-in AC so it was pretty unbearable. Also went for a walk despite the heat because I felt like I needed some exercise and didn’t feel like going to the gym. I found not one, not two but three 4-leaf clovers AND a bonus FIVER!

I couldn’t hold them all for the pic so my husband lent his hand lol
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#645 
Posted 27 June 2022 - 10:28 PM
CarmenYuna, on 26 Jun 2022 - 06:28 AM, said:
Thank you, I appreciate your kindness. <3I wish I could just hug you when I read how much you hate your body...
I don't have anything to offer that could make it better for you, but just know that you are so so divine, on like every level.
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#646 
Posted Yesterday, 09:28 PM
Calories total today: 780
-Morning: Tropical Vibe Celsius energy drink (10 cals) + Lemon Two Good yogurt (80 cals)
-Afternoon: Birthday Cake Quest protein bar (180 cals)
-Evening: Chicken tortilla soup (370 cals) + 2 tbsp sour cream (60 cals) + Shredded cheese (70 cals) + Pink Lemonade Crystal Light (10 cals)
Exercise: 12:3.5:30 on treadmill
From the weekend -

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