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Advanced Sage
Posted 28 February 2022 - 04:33 PM
february 26
intake: 2123 calories
◇ matcha latte (240)
◇ squash lasagna (330) + broccoli (33) + mushrooms (30)
◇ granola bar (90)
◇ too much alcohol (450)
◇ 5 jalapeño poppers (~400) + cheese sandwich (~550)
exercise: -678 calories
◇ company class (-373)
◇ 10.4k steps (-305)
february 27
intake: 1605 calories
◇ cheese sandwich (~550)
◇ chai latte (160) + matcha latte (140)
◇ doritos (225)
◇ vegan lasagna (~480) + green salad (50)
exercise: -102 calories
long life update:
on saturday i finished company class and worked on my thesis mostly all day. i was dead by night but decided to be self-destructive, took an upper and went out with some company members, which ended up being really fun. we started at this crazy penthouse apartment where i saw roughly everyone i've ever met in my life lol, and ended the night in this old, ornate mansion - i wish i had taken pictures. i drank a lot but also walked so much that things evened out, and i felt kind of skinny. everything would have been perfect if i didn't order food when i got home - i literally walked to pick it up at 2:30am like an insane person - but it was a really memorable night anyway!
the only less-good thing on saturday was an odd interaction with my friend D (the one who constantly flirts with me - and so does his girlfriend??). we had gone for drinks on thursday and had a good time, but on saturday he started texting me all about his relationship problems and how he really appreciates having me in his life, etc. naturally i took the girlfriend's side and gave him some solid advice, and afterwards he said "i hope i don't make you uncomfortable with how forward i am with you sometimes, i just value your place in my life so much" like sir?? he's still my friend but maybe some distance is needed
come sunday morning and W texts me that he wants to "talk about something" - terrifying. turned out he did not, in fact, want to break up with me, lmao. he just said he wasn't sure if i was pulling away since we hadn't really spent a lot of time together in a couple weeks - and that's on dating someone whose love language is quality time. obviously i couldn't say that i'm really fucking deep in my ED right now, but i explained that one of those weeks he had covid (did he forget lol), and the other has been leading up to my thesis draft deadline. not a lot of time to be the perfect girlfriend.
he seemed completely reassured after we talked, but i was kind of upset. i guess it was that i'm doing my damn best considering everything - two jobs, writing a thesis, keeping up in three other classes, figuring out my plan for after graduation, dealing with my body post-iud (i've been bleeding for a month!), and just trying to live in my mind with an ED and various weird sex issues. it feels like a lot. he doesn't really need to worry about his grades or even go to class, since he's got an amazing job lined up and is admitted to law school already, and he doesn't need to work to pay for school - and god knows he doesn't have a piece of plastic in his uterus.
so when we facetimed last night, i explained that i'm low-key drowning right now - and the going out is my one chance to relax - and asked for patience. as always, he understood me perfectly and expressed so much sympathy i could have cried. he doesn't know about my ED, but i did mention that i don't have as much time as usual to devote to my appearance (true) which makes me feel not like myself. it seems shallow, but so much of my life has been based around me looking good that it feels crucial? he was so sweet and validating and said "the first thing i noticed when you picked up my call is how fucking cute you are. no one looks as good as you." so i think we're doing fine <3
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#217 
- Accountability access
- 1647 posts
Advanced Sage
Posted Yesterday, 10:53 PM
february 28
intake: 2015 calories
◇ matcha latte (140)
◇ vanilla latte (210) + guava juice (195)
◇ salmon & tuna poké (740)
◇ 1 lindt truffle (76) + 130g takis (654)
exercise: -466 calories
◇ u/s rehearsal (-233)
◇ 8k steps (-233)
march 1
cw: 56.2 kg // 18.7
intake: 1598 calories
◇ chai latte (190)
◇ stumptown horchata coffee (170)
◇ 119g takis (638) + 4 oreos (300)
◇ bottled vanilla coffee (300)
exercise: -117 calories
56.2 is my forever weight lol
W needs to stop buying me snacks if i want to lose more. but also we've been together long enough that he knows exactly what i like - blue takis and the yellow oreos! - and on harder days (read: lately) it helps me get solid food in me. but really i need to get my ass in a dining hall and eat a fucking vegetable
i forgot how triggering the ballet world is. this time it's the praise i'm getting - my technique is all over the damn place and still the costumer is going "very nice, skinny waist!" and my pas partner, who i've known for years and has noticed that i only bring chai or coffee to rehearsals, is going "you can't skip every meal, you know. although you look great"
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