❥ nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
#1 
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Posted 11 November 2016 - 05:50 PM
hey ~
you can call me sunmi, i'm 17 and this is actually my 3rd accountability, because when i keep failing and fluctuating for a certain
period of time i feel so down and disgusted that i just feel like i have to start anew so that it's all perfect.. :')
i've had an ED for 3 years now. it is a living daily nightmare and this is not how i want to remember my teenage years.. ;/ it's been a year now since i started emotional binging/overeating cycling with restricting and fasting and i just need to get my shit back together and do what has to be done instead of crying about it. :') i will be thin again before my 18th birthday! (⊙﹏⊙✿)
height: 5'5'' (167cm)
HW: 118lbs
CW: 117lbs
LW: 95lbs
GW: 90lbs
daily posts will consist of:
✦ weight/bmi
✦intake + food photos
(my calorie limit is 800)
✦thoughts/a little ramble or just sth i want to share or get off my chest c:
my ed story + a recent body check:
summer of 2013 I was 50kg and realised what puberty had done to me: I was no longer the thin and flat eating whatever but not putting on weight girl.. I saw how disgusting I looked on my recent photos. I hated myself. Lost weight by restricting, lost my period as well and I still couldn't understand how others with higher weight and bmi looked amazing and I still looked fat. Hated my genes. Weighed every bite and it took me 30 mins just to make and calculate a fruit salad. Exercising was a last thread of hope to get my body toned/in shape. Cried every day. Got obsessed with eating just one cheat meal a week. Had real control and no cravings but at the weight of 43kg, when I was starting to maybe accept my body and the fact that i'll never be skinny, my dad took me to a doctor for my period and she yelled at me that my bmi is low and made me put on weight if I want to have kids in the future.. Just when I was starting to see hope after the months spent crying in despair and thinking about food and weight all the time.. I just wanted to be 40kg but I eventually put on 1 kg..and so I had my period at 44kg? I'm very ashamed to say this but due to all the stress I was dealing with: a very tough and dramatic parents' divorce, moving, a new school, anxiety, serious lack of sleep because of studying and also because in my stepfather's house all my parents ate was junk and they said healthy food is expensive for me to buy. They only bought me apples. :') Eating *crap* became like a time consuming stress reliever.. I don't even understand how and where did all my control go.. I was getting fat and was so confused what was happening and how to stop it.. And here I am now 10kg heavier. (╥﹏╥)
just know that any kind of comment/support will be appreciated and i'd love to talk to any of you.
(〃＾▽＾〃)
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Posted 11 November 2016 - 06:32 PM
cw: 121.4 lbs (weighed midday after drinking water and eating a bit + there's food weight, i promise TwT)
bmi: 19.8
- -
● 5 peach loops (5x68)
● 3 chips (~3x50)
● leftover pumpkin pastry (~200)
● a rice cake (~35)
● leftover meat with fries, salad (~250)
《 calories: 975 / net: 700 》
- - -
i was going to fast today (i'm thinking of making friday my fast day) but i was out with 3 classmates at the mall and they all ate burgers/sandwiches and asked why i'm not eating to what i answered that i'm not hungry, have no money, can eat at home instead of wasting money.. after that we went to a supermarket because they wanted sth sweet now and i actually bought a packet of peach loops both because i've been craving jelly candies for a while and so that i feel a lil bit more normal around my friends.. while i was walking home with the only friend who knows about my ED (she saw my thinspo photos on my phone and connected things together..) she asked me why i didn't eat and we had this talk where she said she had put her trust in me that i'd eat and that's why she hasn't talked to me on this topic for a while.. she kept on asking questions. she asked if i know why did it all start. i told her how pathetic i feel for being in this cycle of fasting/restricting/binging for like a year now, how i didn't even realise and feel worthy of having an ed when i was at my lowest and i started crying and so did she. it all feels so surreal now.. who would have imagined I'd have an ED and have such conversations with friends.. ;/
i'll be going to a party tomorrow night which makes me feel uneasy but there's probably going to be just pizza, chips and alcohol so i'm planning on just having a slice of pizza and a cup of vodka with juice at most so that they see me eat, avoid any questions and i don't feel awkward being the only one not eating/drinking.. honestly when i'm in a social situation involving food it's like my ed and anxiety are fighting because i don't want to eat, i have no problem just watching others eat (it actually makes me feel good) but i also feel so nervous of being asked questions and awkward being the only one not eating.. >~<
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Posted 15 November 2016 - 01:08 PM
cw: 120.8lbs
bmi: 19.6
- -
● a "hot dog" (~650)
● 1/2 lax chocolate bar (44)
● 1 peach loop (68)
● 1 bite of marmalade pastry (~60)
● some leftover pumpkin pastry (~250)
《 calories: ~ 1083/ net: 783 》
- -
- -
1.currently on my period and 2.i actually binged yesterday. i was coming home after a party and i was feeling really sad and crappy.. i always feel anxious and kind of out of place at parties or just around friends and there was this "close" friend of mine which once asked me why am i not talking and just listening (well because when talking i'm actually the center of attention which makes me feel uncomfortable even amongst friends and i feel judged and annoyig just existing let alone talking?!) and at the party she was like "why are u laughing at everything? it looks so fake"(1st i do not laugh at everything, it's just that they always say sth ridiculous and 2nd well, cause maybe that way people get reminded of my presence?!) .. even though i don't think she meant bad and another friends of mine stood up to me saying "she's never fake.", "it's okay" i still felt attacked and i just don't understand how a "close" friend who has diagnosed social anxiety can't understand me/is saying such things?! ;/ i just had 2 slices of pizza, vodka with juice and some snacks but i wasn't sure if i had eaten after midnight?! so i was like "fuck it. i'll numb my feelings by eating comforting yum food" and went to buy some binge food, haha.. :") anyway, yesterday's drama is in the past now and i actually had a chocolate lax bar today for the first time (after passing by the 3 pharmacies that i know of trying to get in when there are no people in because i was too awkward being seen/heard buying lax.. lol) because i just want the food weight gone asap!! my goal is to be 108 at new year's eve so i have 33 days to make as much progress.. (づ￣ 3￣)づ
(i'm quite worried though ;x it ain't going to be easy with my family around and all the food during the holidays but that's when i ReAlly started putting on weight last year and i just know that food is never worth it. i'm noy going to ruin my free of school happy time by eating sth unplanned and let things not go how i want them to! you know "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels'" ~)
#6
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Posted 18 November 2016 - 05:24 PM
following back!! good luck <3
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158.5 cm (5'2)
SW-125 lbs. (56.7 kg) 8/1/16
CW-93.8 lbs. (42.5 kg) 6/3/17
GW1-99.2 lbs. (45 kg) 11/23/16
GW2-94 lbs. (42.6 kg) 6/3/17
UGW-88 lbs. (40 kg)
LW-93.8 lbs. (42.5 kg) 6/3/17
GOAL: min yoongi's legs
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Posted 19 November 2016 - 03:37 PM
cw: 120.3 (-0.5)
bmi: 19.6
- -
● banitsa (~800; idk it looked so big and filling to me ;x)
● chocolate biscuits with plum filling (5x110)
● 1 peach loop (68)
● tangerine (~35)
《 calories: 1453 / net: 1238 》
- -
well, the lax chocolate didn't work.. i'm so disappointed. i was so excited to get the food weight from my last binge off and continue restricting but no. :") (that irritated me a lot which kinda made me snack a bit at dinner + i'm a fat pig who can't keep her shit together when she goes over her limit, feels bad about it and just snacks some more or binges! i should really work on that because of social situations involving food! >•<) plus the amount of cals i had today is just plain disgusting!! dad had bought me a banitsa to eat after school and was like putting it in the microwave right after i got home, because obv for my parents eating is the thing you do first when you come home.. but like wow, wait i haven't even changed nor washed my hands NOR said i was hungry?! i feel like my parents are CONSTANTLY eating, buying or talking about food and it just stresses me out! i'm honestly going to completely stop eating those crappy big calorie loaded pastry baked things dad buys me and i don't care what my parents would think. i'll just say that i don't want to eat the unhealthy crap they buy but eat healthier again like i used to and they can't like oppose to me being "healthy" so! thank god i at least do a lot of walking because of school! ʕ •́ω•̀ ₎ rn i'm wasting my time relaxing by being on this site and ed instagram accounts instead of studying.. anxiety takes my motivation and concentration away.. honestly i'm feeling so empty and i definitely can't say that i'm happy as ungrateful as it sounds to me but ugh both studying and living would be so much easier and joyful had i been thin and not constantly having ed/"i'm so worthless and good for nothing" thoughts.. (◞‸ლ)
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Posted 28 November 2016 - 09:51 AM
웃어요 , on 25 Nov 2016 - 12:19 PM, said:
good luck sunmi! ❤ following!
aww, thank you so much, hehe `` <3
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❧ roses ~ 🌹°🌹°🌹 [+ photos]
#1
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Posted 05 September 2016 - 06:06 AM
hey, guys ~
if you need a name, call me sunmi ~ ^^
i'm 17. undiagnosed but have had an ED for 3 years now..
i had a previous accountability but recently my family went through a hard time and my kinda existential crisis = eating because sad.. ;x
+ there are 2 weeks until "the" monday when school is going to "officially" start and i felt like having a fresh start ~
so let's see what i can do until then.. .~.
My daily posts here will consist of the usual (intake, weight/BMI, food photos, body checks at goal weights and some daily/ED thoughts at the end. (*´ｪ｀*)
What I aim for daily:
• under 800cals a day
• 16h intermitten fasting after dinner
• drink 2L water
• walk/dance for 30min
before/start of thread photo + introduction thread + why i named my thread "roses":
(if you want to see.. ~ XD)
{43kg / 51.1kg} - {95lbs / 112.6lbs}
my body is so fucked-up, honestly. other girls would at least look skinny at my LW unlike me.
but oh, how you appreciate sth once it's gone..
introduction thread with a summarised story: http://www.myproana....-hi-lovelies-×/
when i decided to make a new accountability i wanted it all to be different so i had to think of a name and idk how and why but the first cliche thing that popped into my head was a rose and the meaning behind it is that we all here want to look beautiful and delicate as roses do but even after we reach our goals the "thorns", the thoughts, the pain, the memories of our EDs remain.. (lol, okay. don't judge my childish mind. i guess i just really like roses and putting meaning behind things, haha.)
Thank you to all who follow. ♡ I'd love to interact with any of you so feel free to leave a comment here or talk to me on private about anything. (✿◠‿◠)
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#2
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Posted 05 September 2016 - 06:36 AM
❀ Day 1. ❀
05.09.2016
CW: 117lbs / bmi: 19
- - -
- 1tbsp apple cider vinegar (3) , 1tsp honey (21)
- gummy vitamin (8)
Total: 32cals
- - -
my parents aren't at home, so i'm fasting today so that i can "cleanse" myself from the 3days of occasional overeating/binging. ( 3/4 it was while eating with mum because it just works as a stress-reliever to me, idk.. well, that's until i finish eating and the guilt and discomfort step in.) >..<
this quote popped on my tumblr dashboard when i went to see some thinspo and damn, this i have to tell myself every time i want to eat my feelings out (lol, at how this is not ed-related but i find it so accurate :') ):
" Ships don't sink because of the water around them.
Ships sink because of the water that gets in them.
Don't let what's happening around you get inside you and weigh you down. "
i read online that a spoon of apple vinegar and honey mixed with water work as a natural laxative and i actually had a bm afterwards, so i hope sth good comes of this day. :')
meanwhile, i will keep myself entertained and distracted with my cats and some anime. ^.^
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Posted 05 September 2016 - 08:07 AM
following <3 good luck!
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Posted 05 September 2016 - 08:25 AM
following! super cute format, good luck xox
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Posted 05 September 2016 - 12:23 PM
Follow (.
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Posted 05 September 2016 - 02:27 PM
Also good luck with your new thread! In my opinion you look fucking amazing in both your before and after pics
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Posted 06 September 2016 - 12:38 PM
hidingitaway, on 05 Sept 2016 - 08:07 AM, said:
following <3 good luck!
thank you ~ <3
rev, on 05 Sept 2016 - 08:25 AM, said:
following! super cute format, good luck xox
aww, thank you ~ <3 it lifts my mood up when i make it cute, haha.
fancy, on 05 Sept 2016 - 12:23 PM, said:
Follow (.
aww, i knew that you'd follow back, hehe. thank you~ ^3^
bluestardust, on 05 Sept 2016 - 2:27 PM, said:
Following again! I'm sorry to hear about your uncle, losing a loved one is always hard, but know that there's a lot of people here who will support you and be by your side.
Also good luck with your new thread! In my opinion you look fucking amazing in both your before and after pics
waa, thank you so much, honestly ~ you're so sweet TwT ღ
#9
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Posted 06 September 2016 - 01:23 PM
❀ Day 2. ❀
06.09.2016
CW: 114.1lbs (-2.9) / bmi: 18.6
- - -
- 1/2 a chocolate croissant (~500), 2 choco waffers (220)
- some baked chicken and potatoes (~200) , a slice of cheese (53)
Total: 973 cals
- - -
i thought i'd be 52.kg but i got soo happy when i saw 51. again after the 42h fast ~ (i always freak out and think that there's no such thing as food weight for me and i just gain fat when i binge/overeat, lol. ) but yay, fasting definitely is the best when it comes to getting rid of food weight, i guess, haha. (that natural laxative obviusly worked, too, haha)
i wanted to have a watermellon mono today, but i had to eat that croissant i hid and lied i ate yesterday and also this cooked meal grandma send me so.. .~. (at least mum fed our cats with at least 1/2 the meat, thank you. XD)
it was all really yummy and definitely more than i needed in a 1h time frame but i was alone and thought i'd just eat it all for lunch and fast again for 24h! i went over my limit..because of those waffers i didn't plan to eat,ugh >..< but .. at least i didn't eat a 3rd one and 1000cals is my ultimate, so that's good XD)
thaank you all for the follow/back ~ ( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡
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Posted 10 September 2016 - 05:22 AM
❀ Day 3/4. ❀
07/08.09.2016
CW: 113.7 / 115.5
- - -
fails. basically not planning my meals - going over the limit and feeling awful - triggering a binge - crying myself to sleep because i hate how hard it is to break this habit of emotional eating (+ school approaching is enough of a a nightmare itself) . :')
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Posted 10 September 2016 - 06:14 AM
❀ Day 5. ❀
09.09.2016
CW: 116.4lbs / bmi: 18.9
- - -
- a gummy vitamin (8), some shawarma? lol (~600) , 3 chocolate waffers (348)
- 1h walking (158)
Net: 798 cals
no pictures today, sorry ~ (⌒_⌒; )
one more sleepless night, sigh. why can't my thoughts leave me alone when i want to sleep?! i'm just so anxious about school .. ;/ and i also had this weird imaginary monologue with my parents where i'm thin and i tell them about all i've been through, how much i struggled and how my 2 closest friends and a few adults have noticed sth is wrong with my eating habits but my parents haven't and.. i just couldn't stop crying, lol. it was so weird.
then after sleeping for 3+ hours i had to go with my mum on a job interview and it was at a nursing home and there was this old man who said he's 91 and life's for the young and he wants to die..then an old woman told me the same and it was just really depressing seing those old people barely walking and just talking about how sad they are.. i don't really want my mum to work there as a nurse because i know how sensitive she is and all.. ;/
despite feeling awfully tired, i was at least happy to walk around shopping a bit with mum afterwards ~ ^-^
(btw she gave me her leftover shawarma and i only ate when we came home at lunch xD)
the day continued to be stressful as my parents were fighting all day over the phone.. but at least i spent the night on instagram and online shopping sites which had all those adorable clothing items and school backpacks.. TwT now all i have left to do is talk to my parents about getting a debit card etc..haha. buying clothes is one of my greatest pleasures ~ *^* sadly i barely leave my house on non-school days to wear them, lol XD
at least this time i went to bed with more positive thoughts, dreaming about me being thin and wearing cute clothes, haha ~ <3
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Posted 10 September 2016 - 07:17 AM
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Posted 10 September 2016 - 07:44 AM
❀ Day 6. ❀
10.09.2016
CW: 116.1lbs (-0.3) / bmi: 18.9
- - -
- water with 1tsp honey (22), 1 tbsp apple vinegar (5)
- lunch :croissant with peach filling (291), 1/2 apple
- early dinner: bread with some butter and ham
Total: ~1050 cals
- - -
what a tragic intake.. i feel so irritated and angry right now... .-.
i'll just say that this wasn't planned and the bad choice of miscalculated early dinner was because there had to be some food missing to lie to my parents and the bread was the only thing i actually felt like eating and would be best to prevent a possibility of a binge.
if it wasn't for my parents i would have just skipped dinner and now it'll probably be one of those nights when they don't actually ask if i ate anything, ughh i want to scream, lol..
ps. the natural laxative water didn't work this time and i haven't had a bm for 3 days and my mum even came into my room while i was weighing myself today; i felt awkward,embarrassed, triggered even and stepped off the scale before it had shut off and she saw the number.. i was like "yeah, i also weigh more today but i haven't had a bm for 3 days" ... haha. :')
she told me to drink warm water in the morning. well, i even put vinegar in mine and still nothing, mum, lol.
anyway, i'll go take a shower and try to distract myself with sth. T-T
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Posted 10 September 2016 - 07:52 AM
bluestardust, on 10 Sept 2016 - 07:17 AM, said:
I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well lately, I really missed you. Hope things go better from now on! If you need to talk to someone you can always send me a message or something xx
omg, that's so sweet; thank you ~ <3
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Omniscient
Posted 11 September 2016 - 12:40 PM
sorry about the emotional eating, i know its such a crap..but good to see you are doing already better and your todays intake isnt as bad, its still under your bmr <3
& o god this old people talking such things about life, thats really damn depressing even to read?
idk i have mixed feelings up on this ..
i heard dried prunes are helping with bms !
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Posted 12 September 2016 - 04:17 AM
fancy, on 11 Sept 2016 - 12:40 PM, said:
yeah, i can't wait to put an end to this emotional eating ~ ;/sorry about the emotional eating, i know its such a crap..but good to see you are doing already better and your todays intake isnt as bad, its still under your bmr <3
& o god this old people talking such things about life, thats really damn depressing even to read?
idk i have mixed feelings up on this ..
i heard dried prunes are helping with bms !
right? the other nurse told mum that they do complain a lot so i hope that it won't be too stresful for mum to work there ~ (⊙﹏⊙✿)
ahaha, yes! i also read so and was planning to have a prune mono so i might do that next time if we still have prunes at home (≧∇≦)/
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Posted 12 September 2016 - 05:35 AM
skinny♡at♡least, on 12 Sept 2016 - 04:17 AM, said:
yeah, i can't wait to put an end to this emotional eating ~ ;/
right? the other nurse told mum that they do complain a lot so i hope that it won't be too stresful for mum to work there ~ (⊙﹏⊙✿)
ahaha, yes! i also read so and was planning to have a prune mono so i might do that next time if we still have prunes at home (≧∇≦)/
i know what you mean <.<
i hope so too! sounds pretty hard but then also makes me want to live as much as possible while im young
haha oh ok, prune juice works too , like a glass on empty stomach; )
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Posted 12 September 2016 - 05:59 AM
❀ Day 7 ❀
11.09.2016
CW: 115.3lbs / bmi: 18.8
- - -
○ slice of pizza
○ a chocolate lintser (293)
○ 1/2 packet Lotto Nuts (~150) , a candy
Total: 1050cals
- - -
me and my mum came to my grandma's because she is sick and mum is a nurse so she can trear her. ;/ ^^ ofc i got anxious because i'd have to eat around them but.. i still wanted to be next to my grandma so that we take her mind off the bad cold and recent death of her brother/my uncle .. ;c besides it's just for a few days (i mean school's entrance ceremony is on the 15th and i am going on the 16th so.. ;/ *that's just me pretending i'm fine with it because i was really going to use those last few days and restrict heavily , waah T-T ) at least i got off eating dinner using the allergic rash on my arms which i've had for a few days as an excuse in front of my grandpa who said i have to eat even if it's little.. he was like "are you perhaps mindful of your weight?" but then mum came and said that i'm like that (don't eat after 7), phew. the snack and candy weren't intended but i got super excited about that snack because i love it and i calculated that the whole big package is 281cals so i finished mum's leftover package which was tempting me all day, haha and then had this candy which gave me flashbacks from when i was little..ew to impulsive eating. seeing my strong grandma who always gives us strenght and hope be so weak makes me really sad ;c .. but mum will help her and the flu will soon be gone ~ ^*^ i was soo tired all day after sleeping for about 5h .. what am i going to do when school starts, aah ~ i hate the thought of it so much TxT
the good about today is that i downloaded this cool manhwa on my phone to read and i plan to get active with manga again ~ :3 2) i ate things which i used to eat often before and still was under my tdee.. 3)being here with my grandparents and mum is chill and nice ^^ ♡
ps. no scale here which makes me feel weird but as long as i'm eating under my tdee, i should be fine, right..? >~< + i had a bm this morning after i drank a cup of warm water and so i dream of being nicely surprised by a weight drop when we go home ;s
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Posted 14 September 2016 - 03:53 AM
❀ Day 8-11 ❀
12-14.09.2016
CW: no scale
- - -
still not at home. i felt pressured to eat dinner and my grandpa was constantly telling me to eat throughout the day so i had dinner with them as i ran out of legit excuses and so went over my tdee.. i hate this so much.. why did life ruin my last planned days of low restrictrion?! T-T i should have just ate fruts and veggies.. now i'm going to go to school almost the same weight as i left..i hate myself so much.. i'll try to do sth the last 4 days still ;/ at least my mum really did help my grandma and i spent some time with my aunt and cousin afterwards + i bought a few cute things from aiko before coming back home and did quite some walking with my parents ~ ♡
(there were also breakdown moments when i couldn't stop crying and not being able to fall asleep because i fear going to school , aaah i do mention school quite a lot but i'm just saying what's on my mind.. ;/)
i am SO excited to restrict again starting tomorrow! but i'm not that excited to weigh myself.. ;s TwT
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Posted 15 September 2016 - 12:00 AM
good luck for your weight in!
and great that your mum could help your grandma & at least you had some nice time with your fam<3
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Posted 03 October 2016 - 12:23 PM
❀ Day 30 ❀
03.10.2016
CW: 118.3lbs / bmi: 19.3
- - -
○9.30am: a small piece of leftover pizza (~350), an apple (~156)
○6pm: frappe capucchino (~300)
Total: 806 cals
- 50+ mins walking
Net: 656 cals
- - -
when i woke up and went to pee before weighing myself it hit me that these last few days where i've been eating "normally" may result in a lot of food weight and got scared and the scale actually said "119.4lbs" eeeew! i know that the only 3 times i've hit 119 were after binging/overeating so it's not my "actual" weight but it still felt SO gross to see a new high number T_T i knew that when i come home from school at night the weight would be lower so i just drank a cup of hot water, ate that leftover pizza and an apple (because i think that skipping breakfast really isn't good for hunger levels and 3/3 times when i had from these apples dad bought they disturbed my stomach and made me go. idk if it's just the sort but i haven't heard of my parents to have the same symptoms after eating from the apples, lol. XD) so my weight really did drop throughout the day. idk how that works when i've had food and drinks throughout the day (water weight i suppose?) but i'm not complaining, haha ~ i lied to my parents that i've eaten at school and skipped dinner and the hunger i felt at the bus back home is gone now so it was an okay day net-wise at least, i guess. :") but when i was choosing my outfit for school today and was excited to wear my new jacket i felt extremely disgusting because i was trying the outfits in front of the big mirror upstairs and i just ruin the beautiful clothes with my gross fat body.. i panicked and honestly wanted to skip school because i felt so embarassed to show up in front of people and if this is how i look in people's eyes than i'd better save us all from this torture and cry at home instead. it's just that downstairs the mirrors are small and i only see my face and i frantically avoid mirrors outside and that's why i had this awful episode this morning. i'm honestly so done with myself. i won't be this site's biggest failure. i should honestly not care if i'm hungry or not as long as i'm getting through the day without passing out.. :") ♡
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Posted 03 October 2016 - 12:37 PM
The Squealy Pig, on 03 Oct 2016 - 11:24 AM, said:
Omg stay AWAY from frappes they are 450-500 for a small at mcdonalds. I literaly watched a guy gain 50lbs cus he would drink a few every day...hell no!
you're definitely right! i do stay away from them but i only drink them when i'm out with my classmates and they ALL get something because it feels so awkward to be the only one not getting anything and besides 2 of them have made remarks about my ed and i panick and am scared for others to catch up on stuff so i just get that coffee or whatever and skip meals instead so that i close people's eyes and mouths. this is why i hate social events but i also have these periods when i hate the loneliness at my room alone. ;/
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Posted 04 October 2016 - 04:40 AM
The Squealy Pig, on 03 Oct 2016 - 11:24 AM, said:
Omg stay AWAY from frappes they are 450-500 for a small at mcdonalds. I literaly watched a guy gain 50lbs cus he would drink a few every day...hell no!
yes some can even hit like 800 calories or more but if thats like the only thing you have that day or not much more besides that it will not matter as long as you are in a deficit, the guy ate probably at his maintenance besides that so thats no wonder..im not gonna stay away from them, altho i will for now because i have no money to eat/drink out so much 
& op we can make it, i also gained a lot but people probably dont even really notice the gain so dont worry and dress how you want im sure you look great !<3
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Posted 05 October 2016 - 04:41 AM
fancy, on 04 Oct 2016 - 04:40 AM, said:
yes, exactly! as i said i prefer to drink/eat sth when out with friends and just make sure my day ends up under my limit rather than feel awkward and like an outcast for being the only who never buys drinks or food and panick when someone mentions it or offers to buy me sth.. besides it doesn't happen often .~.yes some can even hit like 800 calories or more but if thats like the only thing you have that day or not much more besides that it will not matter as long as you are in a deficit, the guy ate probably at his maintenance besides that so thats no wonder..im not gonna stay away from them, altho i will for now because i have no money to eat/drink out so much
& op we can make it, i also gained a lot but people probably dont even really notice the gain so dont worry and dress how you want im sure you look great !<3
aww, thank you so much, fancy~ ^×^ yes, i'm sure, too that food weight or just 1-2kg won't be noticeble to others but it still feels gross.. XD it's a new month so good luck to us! c; ♡
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Posted 05 October 2016 - 05:30 AM
❀ Day 31 ❀
04.10.2016
CW: 117.0lbs (-1.3) / bmi: 19.0
- - -
○9am: some leftover omelette (~400), a chocolate croissant (341)
○3pm: rice cakes with tomato and olive oil (226), 3/4 from a plain rice cake (~30)
Total: 1017 cals
- 1h+ walking (250)
Net: 767 cals
- - -
hm.. so that omelette turned out to be pretty oily (well of course it was! my parents make the most oily omelettes and my stomach acts weird afterwards, ahem at least they usually make me go..yes, that's how oily they are.. *sigh* what was i even thinking while taking it out of the fridge?! .-.) so i was going to just have a few pickles for dinner after school but then my friend wanted to get herself rice cakes during the long break and so there i am in this supermarket feeling awkward to go out and sneakily pass by the pay desk without buying anything.. so i bought these yummy cute mini rice cakes which i knew the calories of (that's them on the blurry photo i sneakily took while walking, lol) and just tried a piece of the ones my friend bought ~ i should really just wait for my friends outside instead of going in even though standing alone with them people passing by also makes me anxios, lol.. when i came home i really wanted to binge because i was feeling awful (i got picked in a game to speak in front of the class and that felt awful, ofc and then all my friends went out after school: half to a caffe, half to a fair (including my crush) and then there's me always going home right away after 2nd shift because i have a last bus to catch.. (honestly it's so shitty that i live in another town where i just know 3 other students which i'm too awkward to go out with because i feel like we don't have anything in common and so i don't leave the house and feel so apart from my friends .. it makes me even less social and more awkward than i already am.) so i just headed to the bus station, rain pouring heavily on me, thinking of how bad i wanted to go to that fair, too and all i wanted to do was cry. :") but at least after spending a few minutes sitting on the couch, i just told myself that i can read a book, listen to music, watch sth instead of comforting myself with food and that i'm not skinny to allow myself to eat. but since i felt so crappy and had no desire to do anything i just went straight to bed. and i actually thought it was going to be a good day since classes were nice and we had no homework, hah. thank you me for letting everything get to you. :')
ps. at least there was this memorable moment from today when my crush was saying a joke or sth and when he turned around our eyes met and we both laughed and asdfghkl he's so cute, haha ~ ♡
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Posted 05 October 2016 - 06:33 AM
❀ Day 32 ❀
05.10.2016
CW: 115.7lbs (-1.3) / bmi: 18.8
- - -
○10am: Lotto Mega Nuts snack (281), a hazelnut candy (~35)
○11am: a lil bit of leftover banitsa (~250), a piece of pancake cake (~ 400), some halva (~150)
○4pm: 3 tiny pieces of watermelon (~60)
Total: 1176 cals
- - -
do i even need to say that this is not how i planned my intake to go?! we have a day off school today and dad isn't working, too.. about an hour+ after i had this yum breakfast (i love this snack because the package is big and there aren't that many cals compared to other snacks and it makes you look normal eating them because people usually think that you'd be eating healthy when you're losing weight, haha..so i'd even like to try just eating a package and nothing else throughout the day because a 281 cals total sounds nice and i won't feel bad for eating them. c: ) dad came into the room before going out to tell me that grandma has left us sth today and i ofc went to check what it was as soon as he left out and as i've never tried a pancake cake i ofc tried a piece of it (there was 1 for each of us and my parents would have left one for me anyways..) and then i put all those cals in my mouth before calculating again and oh my whyy .. OwO >~< i'll make up for it with a low net at leasy tomorrow but it still makes me feel bad.. ¤
edit: feeling bad? make that doubled! because i ate more for dinner (dad bought some olivier salad earlier and i was craving it and then mom brought me these "healthy oatmeal cookies which are really good" and it's just that as much as i don't want it to be like that i obv can't handle eating above my limit/at my tdee.. 9/10 times when i go over my limit of 800 (esp if i go to 1000 cals!!) i just feel so bad and as if the day is already ruined and i just fuck up and end up eating more.. then on top of that just as i finished eating my mum called me to show me a video of people who have been over 100kg and are all muscular and have lost a lot of weight now and was like "see? everything is possible with exercise and a diet. i just wanted to tell you not to worry. cellulite and everything goes away when you get toned".. really mom?! it's not my goal to look like those muscular women but there was this beautiful girl in her 20s who wasn't bulky but she looked more like normal than thin/skinny so there wasn't anyone i'd find triggering but .. it made me feel so awful and disgusted. so my mum does realise that i really don't like my weight and doesn't think that it was just a phase seeing that i haven't lost a considerable amount of weight all summer.. it was like a slap in the face. i felt as if the universe was mocking me and telling me that i'm a failure.. ;x they'll see! my parents and friends will never know or understand what i am going through but i'll prove them that it wasn't just a phase or a pretend. it's just that i obv hate myself so much that i like to fuck myself up a lot. :") i'm going to plan my meals for tomorrow right now and just stick to them no matter what! ;/
ps. i should really start using the money my parents give me to buy food and concentrate on eating packaged bought food so that i'm really sure of my exact calories.. it'd feel so much better without the pressure of guesstimating. i have thought of buying myself a food scale again but i remember how obsessed i got and it used to take me like 30mins to make sure i've calculated each and every little piece right and i live with my parents and hiding it from them would just add even more pressure on me + my parents will probably notice if i spend money from my cart.. so packaged food it is. ◇
sorry for the long rant, lol. but feel free to skip them if you want, haha. :3 ☆
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Posted 05 October 2016 - 08:48 AM
hello love ! 
mmm i love peanuts those look so good!! those chocolate croissants u have always look so tasty omg i wonder if they sell them here in canada..
and awww that moment w your crush sounds adorable i love moments like that 
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Posted 07 October 2016 - 04:23 PM
just realized i dont think i've ever commented on your accountability ?? O-o but ive been following you for ages (sounds creepy af woops) and i always look forward to your posts! your food pics.edits are amazing also n_n
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Posted 08 October 2016 - 03:49 PM
❀ Day 35 ❀
08.10.2016
CW: no weigh-in
- - -
so..i was sick. :")
i obviously got sick that tuesday night after school when it was pouring but i was sad and decided to act like in a movie and let the rain fall on me without caring..well turned out i started getting sick the next day, i handled just a few classes on thursday and didn't go to school on friday (and thus skipped a chemistry test so i hope that won't play a bad trick on me somehow, lol).. i thought that this would be good and i'd restrict lower as i'd be lying around the house all day but idk if it's just me but i get really hungry when i'm sick and i feel even more tired and have a worse headache.. but that's what having a cold does to you, duh. XD so i overate last 2 days and actually conciously binged as a last today or more like tried to because i just didn't enjoy it and it was more like just stuffing myself to finish the things i started.. it all turned out to be ~1500 cals so i should have maintaned but then my parents came home with food from my grandma and i heard the words "meat" and "cake" and i haven't had those in a while but guess what 1/2 of them both (i tried 2 kinds of both) were not tasty. so i just ended up full, sleepy and regretting my ridiculous life decisions 1000%. :")
i'm noticing though that i really do feel full very easier now and i can't have a big binge like i used to have in the summer. i just start feeling stufed pretty fast and i just can't and really don't want to eat anymore which is all good.. ಠಎಠ (especially in the long run of quitting emotional binging)
i'm fasting again at last though (for 24 or 42 hours; i just hope a situation where i have to eat occurs because of my parenta but it should be fine ☆). i honestly like the mental comfort fasting gives as i'm not thinking of food and calories all day and just know that i'm not allowed to eat ~ too afraid to weigh myself so i just have to hold it and wait until monday. hopefully it won't be that bad and my stomach will shrink a bit to get ready for restricting again..(⊙﹏⊙✿)
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Posted 08 October 2016 - 04:15 PM
bananabread, on 05 Oct 2016 - 08:48 AM, said:
are you kidding me?! you honestly made me so happy! i'm sure that you, too feel nice when people comment on yours so feel free to reply here whenever you feel like it, hehe! ꒰◍ˊ◡ˋ꒱੭⁾⁾♡hello love !
mmm i love peanuts those look so good!! those chocolate croissants u have always look so tasty omg i wonder if they sell them here in canada..
and awww that moment w your crush sounds adorable i love moments like that
yes, those croissants are rully yummy and it's my parents fault that they buy them and i eat them so often because it's just so quick and satistying, haha. same goes for the peanuts snack but at least i don't feel guilty for eating them (when planned ofc) XD
aww, i totally relate to you about the romance stuff, haha ~ ♡ thank you again for writing ~ (≧∇≦)/ i hope you're okay and uni is going well ~ ^w^
rev, on 07 Oct 2016 - 4:23 PM, said:
oh my! aww! i can't believe that someone actually looks forward to my crappy posts (and laarge photos rn because i haven't been on my laptop lately, haha) thank you so so much for saying thia though ~ you made my day and this motivates me so much to do better ~ ^-^ ♡just realized i dont think i've ever commented on your accountability ?? O-o but ive been following you for ages (sounds creepy af woops) and i always look forward to your posts! your food pics.edits are amazing also n_n
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Posted 10 October 2016 - 03:18 PM
following since you're following mine! good luck...to the both of us!
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Posted 13 October 2016 - 02:53 PM
Sapphire4, on 10 Oct 2016 - 3:18 PM, said:
following since you're following mine! good luck...to the both of us!
aww, thank you and good luck once again ~ ^^
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Posted 14 October 2016 - 04:32 PM
❀ Day 1 ❀
14.10.2016
CW: 117.5 lbs / bmi: 19.1
- - -
9am breakfast:
- 1 hawaiian roll (~230)
- chocolate cake (165)
- mini chocolate croissant (194)
- another chocolate cake with choco chips (120)
Total: 709 cals
Net: 549 cals
- - -
okay so it is gross that i ate this many calories in one meal but i mean all these things were small + i needed a breakfast which could get me through the long school day so that i can definitely fast for 24h. c:
i actually got so down after my chemistry exam i totally failed so i was like "i hate school. i hate this day. i'll just binge tonight and start tomorrow on the 15th which is my fave number." *yes, i do make such ridiculous! excuses about lucky numbers when i binge. :'')* but no. i came home - cried - told my parents i wasn't going to eat - took a shower - and so the numb hunger got totally ignored, haha!
i just kept on thinking it's been almost a whole year since i started binging and that's so pathetic and i'm a pathetic failure at everything and in order for anything in my life to go well i have to just lose this weight because i'm honestly thinking about cals,food,weight,self-hate, etc ALL the time. like i even get suddenly distracted in class thinking about those stuff all the time and same way it affects my studying and concentration. :'')
this past year might have been the worst when it comes to my weight and ed but i'm going to make these last few months of 2016 worth and really follow my restriction plans. <3
ps. i'll be at a birthday party tomorrow night so i have to not drink and also at my dad's homevillage festival at noon.. hopefully it all goes well esp if grandma cooks sth while at the village. >~<
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Posted 14 October 2016 - 05:06 PM
what app do you use to edit your photos?
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Posted 19 October 2016 - 02:53 PM
wedredding, on 14 Oct 2016 - 5:06 PM, said:
I use FotoRus. c:what app do you use to edit your photos?
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Posted 19 October 2016 - 03:01 PM
the usual happened: grandma had cooked a ton of food and we all ate a whole day meal plan in just ~2 hours. great. and then i went to the fair with my stepdad and his daughter where we had some jelly candy and at night i drank and ate a bit at the party where i also got sick AGAIN so I've been overeating! the past 3 days .. = i'm a failure but please bear with me as I won't give up and I'll come back tonight! >~< ☆ TwT
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Posted 21 October 2016 - 05:46 PM
❀ Day 1 ❀
21.10.2016
CW: 119.7 lbs / bmi: 19.5
- - -
- croissant with meillfeuil cream (350)
- banana (~130)
- 3 chocolate sandwich biscuits (406)
Total: 888 cals
- - -
i only had breakfast today and didn't go to have dinner when my parents invited me so i'll obv fast for 24h. i didn't plan my meals for today but i counted the calories before eating and i sometimes count after and there isn't anything more stupid to do than that. but the stupid thing today was that instead of 1 or 2 biscuits i was like "what if i eat 3 as it's a lucky number?" and so i counted one more biscuit and i liked the number 888 so i did eat 3 instead of less.. why do i put meaning into "lucky" numbers since i started binging just so that i make excuses to eat?! UGH. pathetic. >..<
i ended up spending 90% of my day on ed-related activities: this site, skinny instagrammers, watched my first episode of superskinny vs supersize, watched a loot of anorexia/ed stories and short movies on youtube and i cried because i relate, because they remind of when i was at my lw and i still didn't like myself and i'm scared that the same will happen.. i'm also scared if there is a chance my parents would interfere.. my mum can be really scary and she wouldn't understand. when i was at my lowest and didn't have my period for months she said it was due to the stress of my parents' divorce and she obviously didn't see how obsessively my world revolved around my weight and controlling what/when i eat and it being healthy.. that makes me both happy and sad. i hope that my parents do know as little about weight loss rate, bmi, calories, etc as i believe, so now all i have to do would be to hide my behaviour and thoughts and the way i am losing the weight. they were okay with my weight when my bmi was 15.6 pre-binge almost a year!! ago T-T so they can't say a thing about me "just simply wanting to go back there" now?. :')
+ there hasn't been a day since school started when my thoughts of being a failure which people know about aren't killing me.
a classmate of mine found out about my ed/i kinda slipped because she tricked me she was relapsing and i thought that there was someone who would understand but no. she told me she knows i have and ed, tried to talk to me, we both shared out stories but nothing she said i didn't already know.. she was so convinced i was anorexic, was often asking me if i was eating and even told her mother i wasn't eating when i got sick at their place. it felt awful, i didn't want her to know and just mess with me even though she meant good. but that also triggered me. to eat less and be ready if she asks how much i ate. c: now everytime i'm around her i feel like such a fake. she knows that apart from restricting and fasting i'm also binging and now i feel like everytime she looks at me she sees that i'm still fat and imagines how the reason is that i'm stuffing my face with food.. ;x i have to prove her wrong! and my best friend, too because she also noticed things and was like "i'm really starting to consider you being anorexic.."! why did i start emotional eating and binging, whyy ?!?! i didn't even know what i was doing until i found this site.. T-T i just want to be happy at last..and not cry at the thought of my mum buying me a new pair of jeans because that's what i said i wanted but i'm just still so fat. :"}
sorry that there isn't anything positive but that's just my life. :3
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Posted 25 July 2016 - 09:38 AM
- - -
Hi, guys! [/size]❀ (if anyone shows interest to check this thread, of course xD :3)
You can call me Sunmi. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
[size=4]I decided to switch my handwritten journal to this thread and so here I am after finishing a 36-hour fast and losing 2lbs as a start. (>‿◠)✌
If anyone is interested to see my introduction thread, then here it is:
http://www.myproana....-hi-lovelies-×/
My daily posts here will consist of the usual (intake, weight/BMI, food photos, body checks at some point and some daily/ED thoughts at the end. (*´*) )
Thank you to all who are following. ♡ I'd love to interact with any of you so feel free to leave a comment here or talk to me personally about anything. (✿◠‿◠)
- - -
What I aim for:
- 300-800cals a day, but no going over 1000!
- 16h intermitten fasting after dinner
- (if it happens) keep binging/going over the limit to just once a week!
- drink 2L water
- walk/dance for 30min regularly!
✿✿✿
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Posted 25 July 2016 - 10:29 AM
ღ 25.07.2016 ღ
CW: 117lbs | bmi: 19.0
- - -
lunch:- 1/2 nectarine
- 1 apricot
- 5 mini waffers
- banitsa*
* (it's a bulgarian food. let's say it's a salty pastry with an egg and cheese filling. )
I only had lunch because 1)my fast ended late and 2)I''ll also start a 24h fast so that if we go to my grandpa's birthday tomorrow for lunch the damage of the food won't be that big. ಠ_ಠ Overall, ain't that bad today considering there was a high chance to binge but thank God I didn't! What stopped me was that I felt full quickly probably because I had fasted and also dad came home while I was eating (most of the times I binge when I'm alone in the house or even alone in the kitchen >.<). The waffers photo ain't mine as you can tell but I forgot to take a photo. xD ✂
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Posted 25 July 2016 - 12:06 PM
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H: 5'7.5 LW: 150 (2014) SW: 158 (2014) HW: 216 (Dec. 2019..that's embarrassing) CW: ?
Gw 1: 190 lbs (86 kg) BMI - 29.3
Gw 2: 180 lbs (82 kg) BMI - 27.8
Gw 3: 170 lbs (77 kg) BMI - 26.2
Gw 4: 160 lbs (73 kg) BMI - 24.7
Gw 5: 150 lbs (68 kg) BMI - 23.1
Gw 6: 140 lbs (64 kg) BMI - 21.6
Gw 7: 130 lbs (59 kg) BMI - 20.1
Gw 8: 120 lbs (54 kg) BMI - 18.5
♥ UGW: 114 lbs(51 kg) BMI - 17.6 ♥
MAINTAIN BETWEEN 107-114
my eatingdisordercentral account
see y'all on the other side 
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Posted 25 July 2016 - 12:46 PM
Yumii, on 25 Jul 2016 - 11:46 AM, said:
Following! :3
Oh my, thank you! (❣◡❣) I didn't expect to have a follower. At least definitely not right on the day I started the thread. ♚ xD
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Posted 25 July 2016 - 12:49 PM
Choco_Bitch_612, on 25 Jul 2016 - 12:06 PM, said:
Good luck
Thank you, love. ( ˘ ³˘)❤
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Posted 25 July 2016 - 02:39 PM
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⚡ 25.07.2016 ⚡
Update:
Oh, god. I got confused with my parents' work shifts and thought that we'd go to granpa's around the same time I finished eating today, so I would have fasted for 24h before I eat the large quantity of food grandma has cooked. ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ) But mum told me that she is 2nd shift tomorrow and so we won't be there before 8pm.. .-. And that got me both worried and triggered because I HATE to eat after 7pm or get my plans messed up. I tried to think of a solution but eventually only this excuse came to my mind: "Oh, but you just finished a fast earlier today and if you fast until dinner tomorrow you'll get very hungry and eat even more at the birthday and you'll be embarrassed + look like shit, pale and with dark eyes so at least have something to eat tonight and don't eat tomorrow until you go." /̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
And so I did have some more waffers and banitsa + some cheese and juice. I mean I definitely went over my limit and I'm pretty sure I will do tomorrow, too and ugh. I'll at least workout tomorrow before we go.
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#8
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Posted 26 July 2016 - 03:25 PM
☽ 26.07.2016 ☾
CW: 117lbs (=) didn't gain, yay. ◔͜͡◔ my scale ain't digital thought.
- - -
I didn't eat for 20h before we went to dinner at granpa's and luckily the portions weren't that big (*￣o￣*).
- salad: tomato, cucumber, pepper, white cheese and olive oil (because grandma just pour it over without even asking if I want any >.>)
- main: just a bit of chicken, 2 meatballs and some baked potato + 2 slices white bread (whyy?! ಠ_ಠ)
- dessert: a slice of cake
- extra: 3 mini waffers + 1 tbsp yogurt and I drank juice at the dinner
Total calories: .. ?
I didn't take pictures of the food because it would have been weird and mum already said her usual "oh, she thinks she's fat and ugly and everything" line in front of I don't even remember who because I got so embarrassed so I just don't want to attract any attention.. But mum took a photo of the whole cake:
I don't feel okay about these last two days.. And how glad I was for losing 2lbs before that.. (⌣́_⌣̀) But all I have left is to just hope to be the same weight tomorrow and make the day a productive one. ~ I also have to workout tomorrow because I didn't today as I couldn't really fall asleep and woke up really late being tired. .-.
#9
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Posted 26 July 2016 - 04:23 PM
#10
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Posted 26 July 2016 - 05:11 PM
shycherrypie, on 26 Jul 2016 - 4:23 PM, said:
Following back my dear! Good luck <3
Aww, I feel flattered. Thank you, thank you!
#11
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Posted 26 July 2016 - 05:28 PM
following <3
if my messages are fucked again, you can just talk to me in my accountability. i dont bite (people)
111 108 105 102 99 96 93 90 87 84 81 78 | 7
pisces sun capricorn moon
"when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."
"how can something be there, and then not be there? how do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?"
"if what you had found was only a moment of light, like the explosion of a star, you would find nothing on your return."
"...i had this feeling that i'd never get to the other side of the street. i thought i'd just go down, down, down, and nobody'd ever see me again..."
"hey mama, i'm sorry mama."
rest are lost in the void
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#13
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Posted 27 July 2016 - 02:02 PM
➳♥ 27.07.2016 ➳♥
CW: 117lbs (=)
- - -
- a small piece of banitsa
- some of the leftovers from yesterday + dad's leftover coffee to go with the cake
★workout: 1 hour+ of dancing
Total: 850 cal
- - -
Yay, I didn't gain as I expected after roughly estimating the calories from yesterday.(but still I intermitten fasted for 16hours like I usually do to up the chances xD) ✔ I'm definitely not happy being the same weight for 3 days now but today was definitely better compared to those last 2 days so I hope for some weight loss tomorrow. （︶︿︶）+ I got hungry at about 7pm but I just couldn't let myself eat anything as small or low calorie it was so I watched a mukbang and thankfully it all passed. :")#14
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Posted 27 July 2016 - 04:35 PM
The cake looks delicious! Especially with coffee, you have me craving now :')
Sidenote: what an adorable plate too!
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Posted 28 July 2016 - 03:38 AM
following, im glad i found your accountability or actually you founding mine but im flattered and definitley following back, so cute and i love food pics and our similar stats & the bulgarian thing looks so good awwww!
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Posted 28 July 2016 - 01:03 PM
shycherrypie, on 27 Jul 2016 - 4:35 PM, said:
The cake looks delicious! Especially with coffee, you have me craving now :')
Sidenote: what an adorable plate too!
Right? ^^ Plus the cake was homemade. c: I always prefer to eat with a small fork/spoon and from a cute plate.
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Posted 28 July 2016 - 01:51 PM
fancy, on 28 Jul 2016 - 03:38 AM, said:
following, im glad i found your accountability or actually you founding mine but im flattered and definitley following back, so cute and i love food pics and our similar stats & the bulgarian thing looks so good awwww!
Awww, thank you! ❤ I just checked your thread and we were both 115lbs today, yay to us! xD (✿◠‿◠)
#18
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Posted 28 July 2016 - 03:02 PM
▼ 28.06.2016 ▼
CW: 115lbs (-2lbs) | bmi: 18.6
- - -
- lunch: 1 small piece of banitsa, 1 meatball, 5 mini waffers (600)
- dinner: 1 banana, 2 nectarines, 5 peanuts (300)
Sorrey, no pics today as I forgot to take any but the food with the exception of the fruits can be seen in my previous posts. xD BUT then my parents came home and mum started cooking right away and she was going to bake a cake and added a really cute pink paint to it for a change and the colour was so kawaii and so I wanted to try it. *^* ಥ_ಥ (I'll take a photo of it tomorrow c;) Honestly if it wasn't for the cute paint I would have resisted. ಠ_ಠ But I told myself I'll try it and also let my parents see me eat because I'll no longer eat with them and I used to want us to spend time together having dinner together. :/ Also they work shifts so whenever dad is at home he's always like "have some of this, eat this, eat that, what are you going to eat then, ooh look what I bought" *aka some junk I don't want to eat >..<* and I know he means no harm but he knows I think I'm fat but just doesn't take it seriously (and I'm the one to blame because of eating a lot whenever I ate with them despite wanting to lose weight..) >.< They'll be gone the next day and a half and I plan to just eat fruits and veggies and I always kind of panick when they or grandma ask what have I eaten so I hope they won't now that they saw me eat 2 sandwiches, some ice cream and juice with some kind of burned black and pink pieces from the cake which mum removed so that it looked better (they were yummy though! just looked burned. xD). But yeah, overall I don't think that it was really worth it because I didn't even have a proper piece of the cake because of which I overate and I think my parents don't really suspect anything because I'm a fat failure pig so.. (⌣́_⌣̀) I guess, I'll just add this to the experiences which show me that food is usually never worth it and hold on to the thought of the next 2 low-calorie days I plan to have... （ つ﹏╰）
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#19
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Posted 28 July 2016 - 05:12 PM
following <3 good luck with everything !!
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Posted 28 July 2016 - 05:32 PM
bananabread, on 28 Jul 2016 - 5:12 PM, said:
Kyaa~ Thank you, suki! Thank you!following <3 good luck with everything !!
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