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Posted 21 June 2022 - 06:45 PM
isabella <img src= said
" data-cid="78029845" data-time="1655805212" data-date="Yesterday, 06:53 PM">thank you c: i use an olympus xa2 and the film was expired fuji superia!the pictures are so lovely
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Posted 21 June 2022 - 06:46 PM
-figure skating lesson
-on mobile srry for the formattong
Total - 1700 overestimated
Breakfast
Katsu & curry sauce (800)
Purple rice (300)
kinda confused because i felt super bloated today despite my intake so im gonna write down 1700 to be safe. I had a skating lesson so my tdee is higher anyways.
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Posted 22 June 2022 - 07:48 AM
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#64
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Posted 23 June 2022 - 05:31 AM
also i feel so bloated lately?? am i miscalculating my calories or is my tdee weirdly low?? Maybe it has something to do with my birth control, because i've been having breakthrough bleeding for the past month.(( made my day)
Quote
made by boiling down a number of medical herbs such as dried roots of white woodland peony (백작약; 白芍藥; baekjagyak), steamed and dried roots of rehmannia (숙지황; 熟地黃; sukjihwang), dried roots of Mongolian milkvetch (황기; 黃芪; hwanggi), dried roots of Korean angelica (당귀; 當歸; danggwi), dried roots of lovage (천궁; 川芎; cheongung), Chinese cinnamon barks (계피; 桂皮; gyepi), and Chinese liquorice (감초; 甘草; gamcho)
there's no 쌍화차 in podunk america. I might actually pack a few Korean snacks in my checked baggage. maybe some 연양갱, tea packets, chips, rice chips... ohmygod i am so worried about food, this is gonna be a MASSIVE upheaval in my routine.- imprecisebuteffortless and isabella ♥ like this
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Posted 25 June 2022 - 06:04 PM
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Posted 26 June 2022 - 05:23 PM
June 26th Sunday
-walked some
Total - 2100 overestimated
Breakfast
- Brownies (850)
Lunch
- Raisin toast (300)
- Bacon (150)
Snack
- Cheese (150)
Dinner
- Spaghetti (650)
i've been awake for like 27 hours in an attempt to fix my jet lag. it's 7pm and i'm gonna hold on till 10pm... exhausted can't think
i'm not happy with my intake. i'm not extremely upset with my intake. i've been looking at a lot of thinspo, more than usual. in k*rea just going outside and seeing everyone else makes me feel fat. but in my hometown i think 60% are overweight. i have nothing against them obviously but the "desire/pressure to be thin" is noticeably less pervasive here so i need to find more motivation online for now
i hope you're all feeling ok today
love always,
cherry
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Posted 27 June 2022 - 03:34 PM
airplane dinner was: mango pudding, bread roll (it had a plastic wrapper that said it was 80 cals), butter (didnt use), kimchi (didn't eat), salad (didn't eat), risotto (ate part of it but it got stuck in my braces). unpictured is a midflight snack which was a sandwich thing. Airplane breakfast was: salad (didn't eat), pudding cake, scrambled eggs, tomato (didn't eat), potato wedges (had one or two), grilled mushrooms, grilled ham.
And some random photos i took outside since my family home is in the middle of nowhere. the snake is a copperhead. The book is a pixie hollow childrens' book lmao. The cat's name is apple
It's crazy how green everything is. Even the parks in seoul aren't this unabashedly green
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Posted 27 June 2022 - 08:14 PM
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Posted 28 June 2022 - 06:12 PM
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Posted 29 June 2022 - 08:03 PM
upset about that B+ because i worked really really hard in that class and even got the weekly award for one of my assignments. so if all that is worth a B+ then wtf did people do to earn an A?- isabella ♥ likes this
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Posted 30 June 2022 - 07:26 PM
it's not super hard to restrict. no binge urges. i mean i'm probably maintaining or even gaining but it will be insignificant. i feel like i should be... less chill about my ED habits. i was reading over my posts and i sound so nonchalant about it all and it's almost invalidating. feel like i'm not "disordered" enough- You, frozenyogurt, imprecisebuteffortless and 1 other like this
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#72
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Posted 02 July 2022 - 09:47 PM
Total - 1950
Breakfast
- Waffles (300)
- Raisin toast (300)
Snack
- Melon juice (300)
Lunch
- Fruity pebbles (350)
- Tortilla chips (350)
Dinner
- Mike and ike (200)
- Salmon (120)
- Weed gummy (50)
July 2nd Saturday
Total - 1900
Breakfast
- Spaghetti (500)
Snack
- English muffin (160)
- Apple butter (80)
Lunch
- Pizza lunchable (310)
- Green smoothie (240)
Dinner
- Crackers, ham, cheese (260)
- Smoothie (200)
Srry for the formatting im on mobile and the internet is barely workiNGgg.
Dad gave me a weed gummy last night so i was incapacitated. I think i ate more than i wrote down but not sure.
Intake has been high the past couple days and i felt bloated
definitely gained a bit. Again tho im not going to lower my intake and risk a binge restrict cycle. It took 6 months to break my last one.Was pretty active today, repainted the front porch, etc. Hopefully high TDEE will make up for my intake.
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Posted 05 July 2022 - 08:29 AM
July 3rd - total 1900 (my food log didn't save because of the fucking internet)
July 4th Monday
Total - 1850 overestimated
Breakfast
-fruity pebbles (220)
-spaghetti (440)
Lunch
-two tacos (360)
-cinnabon delights (160)
Dinner
-Muffin (140)
Snacks
-Chocolate strawberry banana smoothie (350)
-mike and ike (140)
Here's my dad's hand next to a giant wolf spider
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Posted 06 July 2022 - 08:33 PM
July 5th Tuesday
Total - 1900 overestimated
Breakfast
- Muffins (590)
Lunch
- Spaghetti (300)
Dinner
- Key lime pie (400)
- Chicken noodle soup (150)
Snacks
- Mike and ike (140)
- Chips (160)
- Gummy (90)
July 6th Wednesday
Total - 1900
Breakfast
- Gummies (225)
- Banana, yogurt, granola, honey bowl (idk 600)
Lunch
- Fruity pebbles (220)
- Smoothie (220)
Dinner
- Philadelphia roll (350)
- Crab rangoon (300)
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Posted 08 July 2022 - 08:15 PM
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#76
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Posted 09 July 2022 - 07:48 PM
July 7th Thursday - total 2000
-hung out with an old friend and his friends, we got drinks
Breakfast
- potato chips
Lunch
- waffles
Dinner
- Two cocktails (one was a frozen pina colada)
- Spanakopita
- Dolmades
Snacks
- Mike and ike
- Smoothie
July 8th Friday - total 1700
Breakffast
- Brown sugar cashew milk oatmeal
Lunch
- Honey butter chip
- Glass noodles
Dinner
- smores poptart (370)
- Banana w/ apple butter (200)
July 9th Saturday - total 1550
Breakfast
- Bacon and egg sandwich
Lunch
- Frittata
- Two tacos
- Two Cinnabon delights
Dinner
- Maple sugar oatmeal
- Sip of protein drink
my appetite plummeted these past few days and idk why.
I've gotten a lot of body comments, especially today. I saw my mom and brother for the first time in over two years. We had lunch (with my sister too). My mom promised over the phone that she wouldn't say i'm too skinny but the first thing she said to me when i got there was "you're too skinny". She made comments a few other times and kept pointing out to everyone how little i ate of the lunch my brother made. my brother hugged me and said "you're so slight". and my sister was shocked when she saw my driver's license photo from 2020 and said that my face is so much thinner now.
i don't know how i feel about these comments. i like and don't like them at the same time. and I feel fat so it's hard to believe a word they say. also with the driver's license photo i think the angle was just bad and lighting makes the face look flat.
I've been really bloated. i noticed that the less i eat in a day, the more bloated i feel?? what's with that. maybe i'm not drinking as much water as i should be on lower intake days. also might be stress. It was emotionally taxing to spend so much time with family.
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Posted 13 July 2022 - 09:05 AM
Been eating oatmeal pretty much daily
I rescheduled my flight to the 22nd so ill be here for 9 more days or so
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Posted 14 July 2022 - 11:43 AM
i'll be at my mom's tonight so hopefully good enough internet to upload images later. in the meantime for accountability's sake i'll post my intakes for the past few days
july 10th - 1922
july 11th - 2100
july 12th - 1700
july 13th - 1600
i've been feeling nauseous and bloated every day the past few days, and it's usually around the same time in the evening. idk if I have an intolerance to something i'm eating or what.
my waist measurement has been relatively the same, maybe like an extra cm but i keep forgetting to measure before i eat. and my thighs are maybe the same? i feel like the gap is slightlyyyy bigger but i might be crazy.
i've been buying vintage shorts and pants since i'm here. some jeans with a 27'' waist are fairly big on me. 26'' shorts are a bit big. 24" aren't even that snug so that's cool. i think my problem was the hips are always too small in korean pants so i felt bigger than i actually was
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Posted 16 July 2022 - 09:14 PM
july 15th - 1764
july 16th - 1931
photos were a no go. i feel bad for the shitty food logs but i am still in america and on vacation so fuck it. im still keeping track of everything.
also just saw a reddit post, ill copy and paste:
calories needed by your organs and why restricting below your bmr is so dangerous
Each of your organs requires much more energy than you'd think.
I will be posting the calorie demands of each, but it will vary +/- 20calories due to genetic size differences.
Liver: 200
Brain: 250
Heart: 440
Kidneys: 440
Skeletal muscle: 13
Adipose tissue: 5
Residual organs and tissuw: 12
If you eat below the total, you won't live a full life. That's absolutely guaranteed and the reason why eating disorders are the deadliest mental illness. In fact, those with anorexia on average die 20 years after contracting the disease.
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Posted 17 July 2022 - 09:45 PM
I just need to vent. I feel so fucking sick nearly every day now and i cannot for the life of me figure out what's wrong. It feels like being constantly carsick + acid reflux. Appetite goes up and down.
I really hate feeling this way. It makes it so much harder to enjoy my last few days here. I'm scared that im gaining weight. i haven't eaten that much more than i was eating back home but little things, small mistakes, they add up. Which is why im gonna avoid weighing myself when i get back. next weigh-in will be around the beginning of august.
My dad made chicken and dumplings for dinner today and my sister came over to eat with us. I was so hungry but my appetite was just not having it. Also, family is so hard. My dad is autistic as well but he is also old and has no filter and just says the most insensitive things sometimes. He said a racial slur and i stormed out of the room. My sister helped smooth things over i guess.
later my sister wrapped her fingers around my upper arm and said "i can almost wrap my fingers all the way around your bicep." now i have another bodycheck ill be obsessed with doing, along with collarbone tapping and wrapping my fingers around my wrist.
I took a covid test and it came back negative so im assuming these arent covid symptoms... if they are then im really fucked since i can't board the plane without a negative result (need to take a pcr soon)
I'm so nauseous and the phone isn't helping. ill try to include some pictures ive taken recently. Been reading a lot. I've always read too fast so i never really savor books enough. (The starbucks drink is passion tea with lemonade)
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Posted Today, 02:23 AM
ig they postponed the moving? anyways I am back in seoul and adjusting to the jetlag / change in diet once again. so now I'll be able to post normally
July 26th
Total - 1300
Breakfast
-Green smoothie (190)
-Churro chips (490)
Lunch
-Mango collagen gummies (120)
-Ham/cheese/egg sandwich (325)
Dinner
-Dirty matcha latte (115)
I had a long flight back to seoul, shitty jet lag for a couple days, mandatory covid test this morning, etc.
I have about a month left before school starts so my plan is to hang out with friends as much as I can and hopefully travel to see a friend in Jeonju and a friend in Busan. We haven't seen each other in so long; my friend in Busan just got out of the military.
On august 5th I have a meeting with a modeling agency. I haven't done any modeling in the past year or so but my friend has connections to this place and got me this meeting so i kinda have to go. so now I am lowering my intake until then. I don't need as much brain power for school so hopefully i can get away with a slightly higher deficit. i do not wanna trigger a binge/restrict cycle so I am trying very hard NOT to give in to my instinct to fast or low restrict. it's so tempting but soooo detrimental.
some food pics from the past week: enchiladas (went to a mexican place with my high school friend. he ate one of my enchiladas and my rice and beans). mango gummies. airplane dinner (it was edible. breakfast on the plane was chicken and rice).
this week i'm kinda busy
-got covid test
-went to psychiatrist, got concerta wellbutrin refill
-went to orthodontist (2 more months of braces holy fuck end me)
-did tutoring
-3 hours of work at cafe tomorrow
-nail appointment tomorrow
-dermatologist appointment tomorrow
-korean lesson thursday
-therapy thursday
-tutoring thursday
-meeting with a potential student to tutor on friday
-3 hours of work at cafe friday
-volunteer at the shelter saturday
-eyelash extensions appointment sunday
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