Dory tries to lose weight because life kinda sucks so let's at least be pretty while we suffer
#1 
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wildly inappropriate bore
Posted Today, 09:49 AM
If you have stumbled upon this, hiii
It's been a long time since I last made an accountability.
My latest go at weight loss started I think exactly a year ago at a weight of about 58kg/129lbs, which was near my HW. I saw some pics about myself at a getaway and was so horrified I needed to do something about it.
I have always found it a lot more difficult to keep losing once I get under 54kg and I've been giving into my hunger a lot and plateauing these past few months. It's time to do something about that.
#2
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wildly inappropriate bore
Posted Today, 09:51 AM
Most recent bodycheck and stats:
Next GW is around 49.5kg/110lbs (I just really want to get below 50kg by September) and then maintain for a while to hopefully escape the binge monster.
#3
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Posted Today, 09:51 AM
Hello!! Good luck 
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✿ A C C O U N T A B I L I T Y ✿
Height : 173 cm 🍉 5'8
CW : 51 kg 🍉 112 lbs
BMI : 17.04
GW : 48 kg 🍉 106 lbs
BMI : 14.04
UGW : 43 kg 🍉 95 lbs
BMI : 14.37
53 52 51 50 49 48 47 46 45 44 43
Accountability : https://www.myproana.com/index.php/topic/4386167-gw-in-1-month-july-6th-50-kg110-lbs-to-august-6th-43-kg95-lbs/
#4
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Posted Today, 09:52 AM
OMGG i like your body shape sooooo much your waist is so small
✿ A C C O U N T A B I L I T Y ✿
Height : 173 cm 🍉 5'8
CW : 51 kg 🍉 112 lbs
BMI : 17.04
GW : 48 kg 🍉 106 lbs
BMI : 14.04
UGW : 43 kg 🍉 95 lbs
BMI : 14.37
53 52 51 50 49 48 47 46 45 44 43
Accountability : https://www.myproana.com/index.php/topic/4386167-gw-in-1-month-july-6th-50-kg110-lbs-to-august-6th-43-kg95-lbs/
#5
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wildly inappropriate bore
Posted Today, 10:03 AM
1299 and 1699 might sound like strange numbers but if I say I want to eat 1300 my brain thinks anything within the 1300s is okay so I need to trick myself a little lol
Some guidelines for eating:
- aim for at least 30g of fibre a day
- aim for at least 60g of protein a day
- a good way to distribute kcals is eat 2 meals with 400kcals max, 1 meal with 300kcals max, and allot 200kcals for snacks and beverages
Strength training routines to rotate:
- lower body mobility training
- upper body mobility training
- bodyweight exercises for core/abs, back & arms
- bodyweight exercises for legs, feet & butt
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#6
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Posted Today, 10:07 AM
ShanYili, on 04 Jul 2022 - 09:52 AM, said:
OMGG i like your body shape sooooo much your waist is so small
aaw thank you for wishing me luck and for this compliment 
my permanent problem area is my hips&thighs but I will admit it's nice that they make my waist look smaller in comparison haha
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Posted Today, 10:12 AM
ifoundDory, on 04 Jul 2022 - 10:07 AM, said:
aaw thank you for wishing me luck and for this compliment
my permanent problem area is my hips&thighs but I will admit it's nice that they make my waist look smaller in comparison haha
It sure does. i want your waistttt lol
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✿ A C C O U N T A B I L I T Y ✿
Height : 173 cm 🍉 5'8
CW : 51 kg 🍉 112 lbs
BMI : 17.04
GW : 48 kg 🍉 106 lbs
BMI : 14.04
UGW : 43 kg 🍉 95 lbs
BMI : 14.37
53 52 51 50 49 48 47 46 45 44 43
Accountability : https://www.myproana.com/index.php/topic/4386167-gw-in-1-month-july-6th-50-kg110-lbs-to-august-6th-43-kg95-lbs/
0
Bmi 27.6 - 20. (176 to 128/129 ish - 8 months)
#1
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Posted 04 June 2022 - 03:13 AM
Deleted. Shouldn’t have posted when I’m still so big.
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#2
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Posted 04 June 2022 - 03:17 AM
Also a bmi of 20 ist very far from being fat!
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Posted 04 June 2022 - 03:18 AM
whatamidoinghere?, on 04 Jun 2022 - 03:17 AM, said:
It is absolutely worrying how much weight you lost in such a short amount of time. I don't want to undermine your achievement but please, please take care of yourself.
Also a bmi of 20 ist very far from being fat!
Worrying? In what way? Sorry I just don’t get that (not being arsey I really don’t get it).
I know for others that’s not big but I feel like I look huge
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
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Posted 04 June 2022 - 03:24 AM
Skinnyminnie1984isback, on 04 Jun 2022 - 03:18 AM, said:
Worrying? In what way? Sorry I just don’t get that (not being arsey I really don’t get it).
I know for others that’s not big but I feel like I look huge
Because you lost weight really fast, like really fast, and you're probably not in the best place mentally if you did that and I can imagine your body is suffering from it as well
Sorry if I am crossing any boundaries Here
And yes I know that feeling, and I don't think that helps a lot but I will still tell you that you absolutely aren't huge.
#6
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Posted 04 June 2022 - 03:25 AM
whatamidoinghere?, on 04 Jun 2022 - 03:24 AM, said:
Because you lost weight really fast, like really fast, and you're probably not in the best place mentally if you did that and I can imagine your body is suffering from it as well
Sorry if I am crossing any boundaries Here
And yes I know that feeling, and I don't think that helps a lot but I will still tell you that you absolutely aren't huge.
Oh no you’re ok. No boundaries crossed 😊
Thankyou for saying I’m not huge xx
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#7
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Posted 04 June 2022 - 12:12 PM
I might take this down.
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#8
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Posted 05 June 2022 - 03:28 AM
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Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#9
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Posted 05 June 2022 - 10:00 PM
Sent from my Nokia G10 using Tapatalk
Desmond/Des/Mosh
Current Weight and BMI
200.0 / 36.6 (05.16.2022)
26
closeted questioning ftm gender dysphoria pls use they/them or he/him
my new accountability: Coming Undone - Mosh's accountability - Higher BMI accountability Forum - Forums and Community (myproana.com)
#10
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Posted 06 June 2022 - 12:49 AM
ILiveToMosh, on 05 Jun 2022 - 10:00 PM, said:
You look amazing op!
Sent from my Nokia G10 using Tapatalk
Ah thanks 😊 I’m still heavy but getting back there
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#11
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Posted 06 June 2022 - 01:12 AM
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#12
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Posted 06 June 2022 - 10:36 AM
I'm not quite down to your start bmi but my LW bmi was close to yours <3 I can't wait to get back there and feel like myself again
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Posted 06 June 2022 - 01:59 PM
Wolf, on 06 Jun 2022 - 10:36 AM, said:
Super motivational for me <3 thanks for sharing, you've come a long way.
I'm not quite down to your start bmi but my LW bmi was close to yours <3 I can't wait to get back there and feel like myself again
You got this xx
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
Fml. Seeing people when u look (are) fat and have been crying
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Posted 06 June 2022 - 08:13 AM
I had no make up on (I’ve been crying over my weight so it went) I had a big ass coat on to hide my stomach - literally 4 sizes too big lol
And my lips are chapped to fk.
And there she was. At the till infront of me. I pretended I didn’t see her and she went ‘hi! (My name)’. I was like oh. Hi. Kill me now as I’m buying laxatives. (I waited till she moved away before I put that on the conveyor belt)
Why is it when you look like shit u see people u know?! When I’m at work at least I look somewhat put together. But no. I look pale and awful.
Happy days.
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#2
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Posted 06 June 2022 - 08:25 AM
Skinnyminnie1984isback, on 06 Jun 2022 - 08:13 AM, said:
So my manager who pulled me last week re my weight loss (I’m actually down another 3lbs so fk u bitch!) was just at the shop.
I had no make up on (I’ve been crying over my weight so it went) I had a big ass coat on to hide my stomach - literally 4 sizes too big lol
And my lips are chapped to fk.
And there she was. At the till infront of me. I pretended I didn’t see her and she went ‘hi! (My name)’. I was like oh. Hi. Kill me now as I’m buying laxatives. (I waited till she moved away before I put that on the conveyor belt)
Why is it when you look like shit u see people u know?! When I’m at work at least I look somewhat put together. But no. I look pale and awful.
Happy days.
OMG, I don't know what I would do if someone caught me buying laxatives.
Well, at least she didin't make any comments today, be happy about that. She kept her mouth shut for once.
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Posted 06 June 2022 - 08:29 AM
Transparent_Ana, on 06 Jun 2022 - 08:25 AM, said:
Oh yes. I was happy about that haha. If she had commented I’d prob have cried again because I feel vile.OMG, I don't know what I would do if someone caught me buying laxatives.
Well, at least she didin't make any comments today, be happy about that. She kept her mouth shut for once.
Tho tbh I look really fat today even tho I’m down more weight.
So she prob like oh shit she gained. Best not comment lol.
So glad she didn’t see the lax tho. (Tbh I shouldn’t have taken them. Took 40 dulcolax after having just over 240 cals and purging them. Fk my brain).
I need a tan. I need to fix my lips. Damn I need to fix my life.
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
Spiralling. What to do.
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Posted 30 May 2022 - 09:17 AM
I started at 800 calories per day 30,000 steps work days 15,000 steps non work days.
Fast forward to today. I’ve fast for 2 days (today is my second day as I are 267 calories yesterday but immediately purged). And 44,000 steps minimum.
Mentally I am fkd. My thoughts are insane. Constant. Nagging. Awful things. I can’t get it to stop.
I have taken lax today. Even tho I’ve not eaten anything.
I restrict fluids. Hella bad. Like legit have max 700ml per day. Thovtoday more like 400ml.
I can’t focus. When I’m out walking I’m a bit dizzy or spacey. When I see people for a bit I am able to hold it together tho.Thankyou caffeine.
I’m already thinking what can I do tomorrow to drop even more weight faster. When I know losing 15lbs in 16 days is good. Not great. No. But good.
I gotta speed it up. I’m so fat. I need to be back where I was. Now. I will do anything. Do I take diuretics? They make me incredibly ill. But I dunno.
I saw on my gp screen today when went for bloods - anorexia - and I’m sat there really really fat wanting to crawl out of my skin. Rip it off. No I’m not anorexic. I am fat.
I know - I do know - that things are (tbh. They have already) spiralling out of control. And I don’t feel like I can stop it. And I really honestly don’t know what to do. Do I just go with it? I’ve tried to stop it. I have. But if I have my allowed 267 I have to purge it now. But I don’t know why. I really don’t. It’s like these stupid fking rules now.
Sorry for the moan and I feel ridiculous because like I said I’m hardly small.
I just don’t know what to do.
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#2
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Posted 30 May 2022 - 09:27 AM
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#3
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Posted 30 May 2022 - 09:41 AM
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#4
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Posted 30 May 2022 - 10:07 AM
15 pounds in 16 days is SO fast. I thought I was losing weight super fast when I was losing 2.5 lbs a week. I literally do not think it's possible to lose faster than you're losing right now, I'm actually super impressed. Also, when you're relapsing, negative symptoms come back way faster cause your body knows what you're doing. I'm relapsing rn immediately after I was weight restored and only a week in I'm feeling like I was when I was like BMI 16 and I'm about BMI 20 rn. I don't think I'll be able to go as far as I did last relapse.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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Posted 30 May 2022 - 10:10 AM
cammac, on 30 May 2022 - 10:07 AM, said:
15 pounds in 16 days is SO fast. I thought I was losing weight super fast when I was losing 2.5 lbs a week. I literally do not think it's possible to lose faster than you're losing right now, I'm actually super impressed. Also, when you're relapsing, negative symptoms come back way faster cause your body knows what you're doing. I'm relapsing rn immediately after I was weight restored and only a week in I'm feeling like I was when I was like BMI 16 and I'm about BMI 20 rn. I don't think I'll be able to go as far as I did last relapse.
Any ideas how to chill the fk out? I’m going so hard. Regardless of health consequences
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
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Posted 30 May 2022 - 10:10 AM
little bunny, on 30 May 2022 - 10:08 AM, said:
15 lbs in 16 days ?????!! Wow...
Not really when I’m so fat
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#8
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Posted 30 May 2022 - 10:48 AM
disciplinedwarrior, on 30 May 2022 - 10:15 AM, said:
Do you want this to be sustainable, or do you want this to be another lose the weight and then gain it back instantly via reactive eating or forced treatment?
That is a shit TON of weight very fast.
I don't know why you bother with fluids when that is not going to impact actual fat loss. I'd consider high restricting and increasing exercise if you want to lose and keep it off for good. Or at least high restriction after the urgent "i need to lose weight ASAP" manicism fades (I know what you mean, wanting results hard and fast).
Ok
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
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Posted 30 May 2022 - 12:41 PM
Skinnyminnie1984isback, on 30 May 2022 - 10:10 AM, said:
Any ideas how to chill the fk out? I’m going so hard. Regardless of health consequences
I know the feeling, once I hit my UGW last time around I tried so hard to up my intake but I was convinced I'd gain. Instead I lost more and eventually gained it all back with treatment, and after that some binging. I hit a point where I could not torture myself mentally or physically anymore. Now I'm being more gentle with myself for this relapse.
I'd try to remind yourself that it's easier to maintain a low bmi if you lost the weight gradually, and I think that's more important than losing the weight quickly.
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↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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Posted 31 May 2022 - 06:48 AM
Trying to stop fking myself up so much. The weight will come back down. I know it will. I have given myself till November to lose another 28lbs so why am I going so hard I don’t know. But I’m proud of myself for my small victory today.
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
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Posted 06 June 2022 - 09:34 AM
I genuinely feel like I’m going insane. And I really don’t know what to do about it. My head. I keep getting headaches. It will not shut up. Last time it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t as bad. I had thoughts. Yes. But yes t wasn’t constant like now. It’s alll the damn time. It doesn’t matter what I do. I could be walking my dog and I’m like shit. Does my face look fat? (Obv yes it does) or when I’m bending cos she went toilet (lol) can people see my rolls?
I’m scared of myself really. I don’t know how to pull it back. And I need to. I have too. I cannot / will not go back to hospital.
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
cam's accountability *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
#1
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Posted 06 April 2021 - 09:25 PM
hey I'm cam and even though I am over a third of the way to my UGW I decided to start an accountability thread!
a bit about me: I'm 19 and a college student. I want to major in computer science and eventually pursue video game development and design. My name is short for camille, I am in fact a girl lol. Diagnosed with anorexia in 2015. I haven't relapsed in 4 years but this is the first relapse where I've actually lost a decent amount of weight.
my stats:
5'4''
starting weight: 126.5 lbs
current weight: 109 lbs (as of when I'm starting this thread)
GW 1: 115 lbs
GW 2: 107 lbs
GW 3: 100 lbs
UGW: 90 lbs
what to expect with my accountability:
(almost) daily food and exercise log. I have a super busy work schedule I will definitely miss some days.
quick summary of how my day went
occasional weigh-in, I do not weigh daily, most of the time it's weekly.
Goal intake + exercise:
800 calories a day, sometimes less but never more.
At least 250 cal burned, goal is about 300-400
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↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
(ﾉŎꇴŎ)ﾉ*✲ﾟ*｡⋆ accountability
#2
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Posted 06 April 2021 - 09:55 PM
april 6
4pm: lunch (200 cal total)
spinach and turkey wrap on low carb tortilla / 140 cal
180g of cantaloupe / 60 cal
9pm: dinner (300 cal total)
microwaveable veggie bowl (by fatrabbit) / 270 cal
steamed spinach packet / 30 cal
11pm : snack (300 cal total)
strawberry halo top / 270 cal
plain rice cake / 30 cal
exercise: 400 cal burned (567 according to apple watch but I don't believe it lmao)
5 hour shift on my feet the whole time: 150 cal
1.75 mile run: 150 cal
2 mile walk: 100 cal
journal:
I was really anxious this morning because I hate going to work knowing I have to run later. It never ends up being hard I just don't like thinking about all the stuff I still have to do. I need to learn how to be in the present and remind myself that I really am not THAT busy and I always end up with a lot of free time. I even was able to take a nap today!
It was so hot outside and my stomach really hurt after work, I was going to do my usual 2.75 mile run but I started cramping up for some reason. To make up for it, I went on a walk after the sun starting setting to burn the remaining 100 calories (I try to burn at least 250 for most of my runs).
I played monopoly with my mom and dad and that was super fun I'm glad I got to spend time with them.
I need to fucking stop eating my nighttime snack so late. I prefer eating later because that's when I'm the least hungry so I can avoid binging, but I keep delaying it until like fucking 11pm or midnight. I don't like going to bed right after eating but it always ends up happening.
I have a double shift tomorrow which I usually hate but I work with my best friend all day and I get to smoke weed after work. (I only allow myself to smoke once a week to keep my tolerance really low) I'm so excited and honestly I think I'm going to have a good time at work tomorrow. I'm going to go to bed pretty satisfied tonight
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
(ﾉŎꇴŎ)ﾉ*✲ﾟ*｡⋆ accountability
#3
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Posted 07 April 2021 - 07:47 PM
april 7
3:30 pm: lunch (250 cal)
progresso chicken noodle soup / 130 cal
6 snap pea chips / 40 cal
cantaloupe and a few navel orange slices / 80 cal
10:30 pm: dinner (350 cal)
turkey and spinach sandwich / 180 cal
10 snap pea chips / 65 cal
cantaloupe and apple slices / 100 cal
exercise: 300 cal burned (apple watch says 450 but again, I don't believe it)
9 hour shift (15k steps) ~300 cal
journal:
this morning was really stressful, my restaurant was super busy cause the weather was nice and everybody wanted to sit out on the patio. I have to buss and reset all the tables in the morning and I had a bunch of glasses on my tray and dropped them in front of a bunch of guests. It was so fucking embarrassing but my assistant manager noticed me tearing up and let me go on my break early which was super nice of her.
I kept food really light today because I'm smoking a joint tonight and I always eat less on days that I smoke because weed is like a meal to me. It replaces my evening snack, getting high is wayyyyy better than food. I'm so excited to smoke and sleep in because I only have a dinner shift tomorrow ayyyy.
The dinner shift tonight was really slow and I enjoyed it a lot, my best friend is my coworker and we have so much fun on slow days. All in all, a pretty great day!
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#4
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Posted 08 April 2021 - 10:19 PM
april 8
3:00 pm: lunch (325 cal)
turkey and spinach wrap on low carb tortilla / 140 cal
half a packet of steamed spinach / 30 cal
cantaloupe and a few navel orange slices / 70 cal
piece of toast with a tbsp of greek yogurt / 65 cal
11 pm: dinner (225 cal)
progresso chicken and dumpling soup / 160 cal
other half of steamed spinach packet / 30 cal
rice cake / 35 cal
12 am: evening snack (250 cal)
39g cheerios with 3 fl oz almond milk / 170 cal
cantaloupe and orange slices / 80 cal
exercise: 400 cal burned
2.8 mile run: 250 cal
5 hour shift: 150 cal
journal:
Woke up fucking exhausted, probably because I ate a lot less than I usually do yesterday and smoked a joint before bed. Very much worth it, but I regretted it in the morning. I didn't think I was going to be able to go on my usual 30 min run but I pulled through and even got my farthest distance yet! That cheered me up a lot, I felt really good the rest of the day and that made my shift so much better.
I had a closing shift tonight so I got home super late. I should've just eaten a larger dinner instead of a dinner and my usual evening snack because I ended up eating it past midnight... I really need to stop eating so late, I should just eat immediately after coming home from work before showering.
Also, I feel like I just eat the same exact things everyday (cause I do lol) I'm obsessed with finding the lowest calorie volume foods and trying to fit as much food into as little calories as possible. Usually just means I'm eating the same 3 meals over and over again throughout the week. That turkey and spinach wrap I make slaps so hard tho, I'm def gonna keep making it.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#5
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Posted 09 April 2021 - 09:37 PM
april 9
3:00 pm: lunch (315 cal)
packaged salad from grocery store / 130 cal
steamed spinach and tomatoes/ 40 cal
cantaloupe and strawberries / 85 cal
11 snap pea chips / 60 cal
10:15 pm: dinner (270 cal)
microwaveable veggie bowl / 230 cal
steamed spinach and tomatoes / 40 cal
11:30 pm: evening snack (215 cal)
2 pieces of toast with 2 tsp vegan cream cheese / 110
half a rice cake / 20 cal
cantaloupe and strawberries / 85 cal
exercise: 320 cal burned
5 hour shift / 150 cal
1.8 mile run / 170 cal
journal:
Nothing really interesting happened, except my day was a lot less stressful than I anticipated. I thought work was going to be super busy but it was fairly slow. Sick of eating the same foods everyday, I can't grocery shop for new low cal things because my mom will get suspicious. I need to find more low calorie microwaveable meals or buy some tofu to put in salads or something. All I eat is the same veggie bowls, the same wrap, and the same soups. I'll never get sick of cantaloupe though!
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#6
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Posted 11 April 2021 - 09:58 AM
sorry I didn't do an entry yesterday, I was pretty busy
food was 800 cal
exercise was 300 cal burned
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#7
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Posted 11 April 2021 - 09:59 PM
april 12
weigh in: 106 lbs
4pm: lunch (225 cal total)
spinach and turkey wrap on low carb tortilla / 140 cal
bowl of chopped carrots, celery, and tomato (all weighed out) / 40 cal
130g strawberries / 45 cal
9pm: dinner (215 cal total)
microwaveable veggie bowl (by fatrabbit) / 230 cal
half a steamed spinach packet / 30 cal
10 snap pea chips / 55 cal
12am : snack (250 cal total)
2 pieces of sara lee toast with 35g light greek yogurt / 105 cal
rice cake w pepper / 35 cal
strawberries and cantaloupe / 105 cal
exercise: 270 cal burned
2.8 mile run: 270 cal
journal:
I hit my second GW today holy shit! I'm officially underweight! I feel so validated, I haven't been underweight in years. Besides that, today was really nice. Sunday and Monday are my off days from work so I catch up on a lot of sleep, it's so nice to get 8 hours of sleep. I felt really well-rested this morning so I went on a run (which I usually do mondays). Typically, I go on a long walk on sundays instead of running because it's my rest day but I want tomorrow to be my rest day.
My work schedule this week is fucked up and it's stressing me out. It's so hard to trade shifts with coworkers and get back to my old schedule. I rely on my job for exercise, so I need the same number of shifts each week. But I hate when I have too many double shifts bc then I can't go on a run. It's fucking with my whole exercise routine. Also, my mom is "making me" go visit my brother at college next sunday-tuesday which is making me take time off work. I lied to her and said my time off request got denied so I wouldn't have to go. I don't want to go bc I won't be able to exercise for 3 days and it'll be so hard to eat under 800 cal. I'm really hoping I can get out of this trip. I'm trying to stay optimistic. I know I can get my schedule back, and if I try hard enough, I can get out of going on this trip, I can do it.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#8
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Posted 15 April 2021 - 10:29 PM
missed a couple days so here's the summary
april 13
food: (780 cal total)
exercise: (400 cal burned)
april 14
food: (800 cal total)
exercise: (300 cal burned)
april 15
3:00 pm: lunch (300 cal)
turkey and spinach wrap on low carb tortilla / 140 cal
carrots and tomato / 20 cal
cantaloupe and strawberries / 75 cal
toast with vegan cream cheese / 65 cal
10 pm: dinner (250 cal)
progresso chicken and dumpling soup / 160 cal
half of steamed spinach packet / 30 cal
8 reduced fat wheat thins / 60 cal
12 am: evening snack (250 cal)
rice cake / 35 cal
toast with vegan cream cheese / 65 cal
8 reduced fat wheat thins / 60 cal
cantaloupe and green apple / 90 cal
exercise: 300 cal burned (apple watch says 440 lol)
8 hour shift: 300 cal
journal:
Good day at work. I feel pretty good, my weight loss is becoming pretty noticeable and that really excited me. Nothing really happened today. I'm constipated as fuck but I don't have any mirilax lol. I need to run to the grocery store
I NEED to find some different shit to eat, I just cannot find anything that is low cal enough and a high enough volume. The amount of food I eat is ridiculous because I am able to fit so much food into 800 calories. I need to remind myself that I don't always need to eat in such high volumes, I can do a few days where I eat higher calorie things for less volume. Maybe I'll go to whole foods tomorrow and find something because I have scavenged so many Harris Teeters for something new, and nothing works.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#9
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Posted 15 April 2021 - 10:59 PM
following <3 glad to hear that you had a great day, if you want something low cal + high volume popcorn is great!! also shirataki noodles but that shit makes you nauseous and constipated which may add to your current constipation.
#10
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Posted 17 April 2021 - 02:55 PM
stellstar, on 15 Apr 2021 - 10:59 PM, said:
following <3 glad to hear that you had a great day, if you want something low cal + high volume popcorn is great!! also shirataki noodles but that shit makes you nauseous and constipated which may add to your current constipation.
thanks! I've been meaning to buy some shirataki noodles and instant miso! Ive seen so many people post about it and it looks so good. It'll be great to have something to switch up my lunches bc I literally eat the same turkey wrap or soup everyday
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#11
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Posted 17 April 2021 - 08:58 PM
april 16 (missed entry cause I got high lmao)
food: (600 cal total)
exercise: (400 cal burned)
april 17
4pm: lunch (270 cal)
turkey and spinach wrap on low carb tortilla / 140 cal
carrots and tomato and steamed spinach / 30 cal
rice cake / 35 cal
watermelon and strawberries / 65 cal
10 pm: dinner (270 cal)
spicy ramen bowl/ 220 cal
half of steamed spinach packet / 30 cal
57g of carrot / 20 cal
12 am: evening snack (260 cal)
2 pieces of toast with laughing cow cheese - 120
rice cake crackers - 70 cal
cantaloupe and watermelon - 70 cal
exercise: 200 cal
2 mile run
journal:
took the day off work, I needed a break. I spent the day chilling and doing homework cause I have so much due on Monday. I caught up on some sleep and didn't do a lot of exercise. I just wanted to rest today, and regroup. I bought some miralax and dulcolax so hopefully I can relieve this fucking constipation and weigh myself sometime next week. I'm really excited to see how much I weigh.
I'm over halfway to my UGW and I feel l like I haven't even been restricting that long or intensely, I could keep this up for awhile honestly. I don't think I'll decrease my intake to compensate for my TDEE lowering as I lose weight. I was originally planning to but since I'm not that far away from my goal, I don't think I'll mind that my weight loss will be slower for these last couple of months.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#12
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Posted 18 April 2021 - 10:12 PM
april 18
4pm: lunch (260 cal)
shirataki noodles and instant miso with carrots, lunchmeat, and mushrooms/ 130 cal
Wheat thins / 60 cal
Orange slices and watermelon/ 70 cal
10 pm: dinner (260 cal)
progresso chicken and dumpling soup / 160 cal
Mushrooms and snow peas / 40
popcorn rice crackers / 60 cal
12am: evening snack (270 cal)
39g cheerios with 3 fl oz almond milk - 160 cal
rice cake - 35 cal
cantaloupe and strawberries - 75 cal
exercise: 270 cal burned
2.75 mile run
journal:
Another very chill day, I'm in a good mood. Got a lot of homework done and even though I woke up super exhausted, I went on a run first thing to get it out of the way. Went to whole foods and got some instant miso and shirataki noodles! So glad to have a new thing to eat for lunch. I also got some riced cauliflower and I think I want to make a rice and veggie bowl tomorrow for dinner. Maybe make a chopped salad for lunch and eat the rest of it with my veggie bowl for dinner. It's such a relief to eat something new that is even lower calorie than my typical wrap or soup.
I'm really enjoying my off days, usually I'm stressed about the work week coming up on Tuesday. But I feel relaxed and reset and ready to go back to work! I still have tomorrow off, I hope I can find fun to do.
Now I'm just chilling in bed, eating my last snack of the day and playing on my nintendo switch Feeling really good! I'm surprised that my depression hasn't gotten any worse since I relapsed? I've been restricting and exercising consistently for 2 months now, no binges, no nothing. I feel probably even better now than I did when I started. I hope it keeps up.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#13
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Posted 19 April 2021 - 10:47 PM
april 19
4pm: lunch (260 cal)
turkey and spinach wrap / 140 cal
steamed spinach / 30 cal
snap pea chips / 30 cal
watermelon and strawberries / 60
10 pm: dinner (260 cal)
salad with turkey lunchmeat and cauliflower rice/ 160 cal
wheat thins / 50 cal
strawberries / 50 cal
12am: evening snack (260 cal)
2 pieces of toast with lowfat cream cheese - 120 cal
rice cake and rice cake crackers / 65
green apple slices and strawberries - 75 cal
exercise: 260 cal burned
1 hr 40 min walk - 260 cal
journal:
Another good day, I feel ready to go to work tomorrow! I only have a lunch shift which just makes it even better! I'm also ready to get back to running, I only took a walk today, but it's not nearly as satisfying as finishing a run. Running keeps getting easier and easier and also more enjoyable.
That salad I made for dinner was so good, definitely going to make it again, maybe even tomorrow night lol. Anyway, I think I'll stay up late tonight because I got so much sleep this weekend. Might as well binge watch netflix and just relax before work in the morning.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#14
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Posted 22 April 2021 - 09:50 PM
april 23
3pm: lunch (270 cal total)
shirataki noodles and instant miso with chicken / 100 cal
steamed spinach and snow peas / 45 cal
snap pea chips / 60 cal
watermelon / 65 cal
10pm: dinner (270cal total)
progresso chicken and wild rice soup /180
steamed spinach and carrots / 45
rice cake / 35 cal
12am: snack (260 cal total)
2 pieces of sara lee toast with light laughing cow cheese wedge / 120 cal
snap pea chips / 55 cal
watermelon and strawberries / 85 cal
exercise: 420 cal burned
2.8 mile run: 270 cal
5 hour shift: 150 cal
journal:
Had virtual therapy this morning and my therapist keeps fucking saying I look like I have gotten a lot thinner. Like girl how can you tell you can only see my head! Not that I really care I guess, it's not like she can send me to IP because I'm no longer a minor. Besides that, I had a good day! I was feeling really tired this morning so I went running only expecting to do a little less than 2 miles but I managed my usual 2.8 mile run with a way better time than the rest of this week!
My mom came back from her trip and it was really nice to see her, it was getting boring with just my dad around. I haven't weighed myself in almost 2 weeks because constipation is kicking my ass. I'm not really scared about what the scale will say because my weight loss has been so consistent, I'm moreso excited to see a bigger drop than usual! Work was really great tonight and I'm not even mad that I have a double shift tomorrow, I think it'll be fun. I'm like honestly a little concerned with how good I've been feeling, I'm scared something is gonna happen and fuck it all up. But I'll try to stay positive because there's a lot of great things going for me right now.
I was planning on smoking tonight because Thursdays are usually the only day of the week I smoke, but I got off work very late and was exhausted. Now I'm just chilling in bed watching Narcos and working on an essay for school. I'll smoke tomorrow, gives me something to look forward to! All in all, a pretty good day. Pretty great week so far! Just feeling good honestly
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#15
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Posted 24 April 2021 - 10:24 AM
april 23
weigh in: 103 lbs
3:30 pm: lunch (260 cal) / 140 cal
turkey and spinach wrap
5 snap pea chips / 30 cal
158g watermelon / 55 cal
steamed spinach and tomato / 45 cal
10:30 pm: dinner (340 cal)
microwaveable veggie bowl / 230
steamed spinach, carrots, and snow peas / 60 cal
6 and a half wheat thins / 50 cal
exercise: 300 cal burned
8 hour shift (14k steps) ~300 cal
journal:
Missed this entry yesterday so I'm doing it today. Work was pretty stressful yesterday but it is what it is. I got home and was so ready to smoke some weed. I greened out a bit last night I haven't done that in a while. I only took like 3 hits and I was like holy shit I'm way too high rn. Every time I try to stand up when I'm high I feel like passing out. But I still really enjoyed smoking last night, it's so fun to get so baked. I feel like my weight loss has definitely affected how high I get. I guess being 20 pounds lighter means I don't need as much weed to get high anymore.
Got some greatttt sleep last night
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#16
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Posted 24 April 2021 - 11:05 PM
april 24
3pm: lunch (260 cal)
progresso chicken noodle soup / 130 cal
carrots and snow peas / 20 cal
rice cake / 35 cal
orange and cantaloupe / 75 cal
11 pm: dinner (260 cal)
salad with turkey lunchmeat and cauliflower rice/ 170 cal
rice cake crackers / 40 cal
strawberries / 50 cal
1am: evening snack (240 cal)
2 pieces of toast with lowfat cream cheese - 120 cal
7 snap pea chips / 40 cal
green apple and watermelon / 80 cal
exercise: 150 cal burned
5 hour shift / 150 cal
journal:
Pretty good day, it was pouring rain all morning and afternoon so I couldn't run before work which kinda bothered me, but I tried to eat a little less today. Not enough to compensate but since I've been so consistent with exercise it didn't really get to me. Work was really slow because of the weather, I'm a closer on saturday nights which is usually hell but it was really chill tonight. Got home at 11:15pm and I still had 570 calories left in my daily allowance. Maybe I need to eat a bigger lunch lol. I feel guilty eating so much before bed but I can't really help it if I get home so late.
Anyways, I have 2 off days that I'm super excited about fuck yea.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#17
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Posted 25 April 2021 - 09:10 PM
april 25
4pm: lunch (270 cal total)
shirataki noodles and instant miso with chicken / 100 cal
carrots and celery/ 30 cal
toast / 55 cal
watermelon and strawberries / 65 cal
10pm: dinner (275 cal total)
turkey sandwich / 180 cal
steamed spinach and tomato / 35
half a rice cake / 15 cal
watermelon / 45 cal
12am: snack (275 cal total)
39g cheerios w 3oz almond milk / 155 cal
wheat thins / 45 cal
watermelon and apple slices / 75 cal
exercise: 260 cal burned
2.7 mile run: 260 cal
journal:
Slept a lot today to catch up on all the hours I missed during the work week. Felt very tired today but I relaxed cause it's my off day. Getting up to go on a run was pretty difficult but it wasn't too bad once I got outside and started going. Worked on a fun art project for a bit and got some homework done. I'd really like to just lay in bed and watch Netflix rn but I feel anxious to get more homework done. I don't even have that much I just want to be productive. Going to try to get 9 hours of sleep tonight, I need it.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#18
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Posted 28 April 2021 - 09:42 PM
april 28 (sorry I missed a bunch of days, I've been sorta busy)
3pm: lunch (270 cal total)
progresso chicken and dumpling soup / 160 cal
steamed spinach and celery / 40 cal
half rice cake / 20 cal
watermelon and strawberries / 50 cal
11pm: dinner (250 cal total)
shirataki noodles and instant miso with chicken and snow peas / 110 cal
85g cauliflower rice / 20 cal
steamed spinach / 30 cal
snap pea chips / 45 cal
watermelon / 45 cal
12am: snack (270 cal total)
strawberry halo top / 270 cal
exercise: 460 cal burned
1.6 mile run / 160 cal
8 hour shift / 300 cal
journal:
today was great up until the end. Made it a shit day. I don't really wanna go over it because it's in the past and it'll be fine tomorrow. I should get some good sleep tonight for sure.
Besides that, I am extremely proud of myself for doing something I've never done before, running BEFORE working a double shift! Unheard of for me, I don't know what compelled me to do that but it definitely makes today less shitty overall. Also managed to eat slightly less than 800 calories which is always great.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#19
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Posted 29 April 2021 - 09:04 PM
april 29
3pm: lunch (270 cal)
turkey and spinach wrap / 140 cal
carrots and snow peas / 25 cal
rice crackers / 35 cal
apple slices and cantaloupe / 70
10:30pm: dinner (270 cal)
salad with turkey lunchmeat and cauliflower rice/ 175 cal
carrots / 10 cal
wheat thins / 85 cal
12am: evening snack (260 cal)
light and fit yogurt / 70 cal
rice cake and piece of toast / 80 cal
snap pea chips / 40 cal
orange slices and cantaloupe / 70 cal
exercise: 410 cal burned
2.75 mile run: 260 cal
5 hour shift: 150 cal
journal:
much much better day today than yesterday. Work was really fun even though it was busy because my coworkers are so great. My mom was in a good mood mood today and we hung out a bit, that cheered me up a lot. Feeling very content and ready for bed
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#20
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Posted 29 April 2021 - 10:25 PM
body checks:
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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cam's accountability *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
#21
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Posted 01 May 2021 - 10:41 PM
april 30 (missed day)
food: (600 cal total)
exercise: (300 cal burned)
may 1
3pm: lunch (290 cal)
shirataki noodles and instant miso with chicken / 95
cucumber and bell pepper/ 40 cal
toast with laughing cow cheese wedge / 60 cal
snap pea chips / 40 cal
cantaloupe / 55 cal
11pm: dinner (260 cal)
grilled chicken wrap / 160 cal
riced cauliflower and carrots / 65 cal
rice cake / 35 cal
12am: evening snack (250 cal)
tortilla with salsa / 120 cal
wheat thins/ 45 cal
apple slices and cantaloupe / 80 cal
exercise: 325 cal burned
1.75 mile run: 175 cal
5 hour shift: 150 cal
journal:
Really great day, I got so high last night I haven't been that high in so long. I had a hit left in my bong this morning and so I took it at noon and was still high going into work at 5pm it was nuts. I think my weight dropping is making me less tolerant to weed which is just another great thing about losing weight. I felt so relaxed at work and holy shit my shift went by fast as hell. I have 2 days off now I'm so fucking happy aaa
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#22
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Posted 03 May 2021 - 10:46 PM
may 3
2:30pm: lunch (225 cal)
tuna wrap with tzatziki and sriracha / 140 cal
riced cauliflower and tomato / 30 cal
iced coffee with almond milk and unsweetened hazel creamer / 55 cal
9pm: dinner (310 cal)
Tomato soup / 195 cal
riced cauliflower with tomatoes, cucumbers, pepperoncinis / 20 cal
snap pea chips / 35 cal
cantaloupe and strawberries / 45 cal
12am: evening snack (260 cal)
2 pieces of toast with cauliflower hummus / 120 cal
halo top lime popsicle / 35 cal
rice crackers / 110 cal
exercise: 260 cal burned
2.8 mile run
journal:
Today was great day, hung out with my mom and got a shit load of homework done. Also! I have so many more food options now, I can put tuna on my wraps instead of turkey, I have tzatziki I can use as a sauce instead of just sriracha, a ton more veggies, hummus instead of just cream cheese to put on toast, and riced cauliflower instead of always having steamed spinach! I can mix and match my components in 3 staple meals from now own (shirataki noodles, wrap on low carb tortilla, and salad.) Instead of always having a turkey wrap, turkey salad, and grilled chicken in my shirataki, I can swap them out, use different sauces on my wraps, it's overwhelming in a good way!
I started a recipe section in my notes app on my phone to keep track of how many grams of meat, veggies, and sauce I need for each recipe to be equal in calories if I want to swap out the protein or the sauce, etc. That way I don't always have to calculate everything over again if I want to make my wrap but with tuna instead of turkey. I'm also making a list of all the vegetables and fruit I eat as sides and how many grams I usually weigh out for each along with their calories. I used to re-look up the calories and calculate them every time I incorporated them into a meal, now I can just have a cheat sheet and I only have to worry about weighing them. Part of me is kinda overwhelmed by the choices now, but if I keep it organized and don't always force myself to have something new, then I think this is a game changer. I was getting really bored with the same EXACT 3 meals but now they can be modified a bit and still not be out of my comfort zone.
I haven't weighed myself in over 3 weeks cause I cannot find my scale. I'm really nervous and excited to weigh myself once I'm done using lax for the week (I was really constipated last week lmao) I have a goal weight for when I do step on the scale, but honestly it'll be such a big drop from when I last weighed myself I doubt I'll be mad if I'm over what I intended. Anyway, I'm excited to go to work tomorrow cause being at home all day is boring!
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#23
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Posted 03 May 2021 - 10:58 PM
my recipes so far!!
(note: the sides aren't all the sides I have with the meal, sometimes I have a couple of them with the meal, but usually it's one of the options listed. I'm just writing down all the side options so I know their grams and calories, so if I want to swap one for the other, I can compare them. I also have other things as sides, but they aren't things I weigh out, like rice cakes or crackers, etc.)
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#24
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Posted 04 May 2021 - 08:11 PM
body checks (may 4)
I haven't weighed myself in over 3 weeks, based on my progress so far I think I'm between 100-101 lbs at the most, so I feel confident saying I'm around BMI 17.2 or 17.3 rn
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#25
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Posted 05 May 2021 - 11:42 PM
may 5
weigh in: 100.5 lbs (BMI 17.2)
3pm: lunch (270 cal)
turkey and hummus wrap / 140 cal
cucumber, carrots, steamed spinach/ 35 cal
5 wheat thins / 40 cal
watermelon and cantaloupe / 55 cal
10:30pm: dinner (240 cal)
salad with tuna and cauliflower rice / 165 cal
cucumber and bell pepper / 20 cal
rice cake w hummus / 55 cal
12am: evening snack (270 cal)
133g (half pint) Enlightened Cold Brew ice cream / 140 cal
plain toast / 45 cal
orange slices and watermelon / 90 cal
exercise: 300 cal burned
8 hr shift (~12k steps): 300 cal
journal
Finally found my goddamn scale, how did I manage to lose a whole ass bathroom scale? Anyway! My weight is literally exactly what I thought it was gonna be, I guessed it would be between 100-101 pounds and it was exactly 100.5 lmaooo. Couldn't be happier about that tho! Besides that, today was very uneventful, work was boring but I got some homework done AT work which is just top-tier productivity. Man fuck essays, it's the last week of school why am I writing a whole argumentative essay with research, in-text citations, the whole shit.
I get to see my best friend for the time in forever on Monday!!! she was doing a gap year program for 3 months and I missed her so so so much. Great way to start the summer! My little friend group (lol 4 ppl including me) are already planning a shit-ton of great trips I'm so hyped. I feel like a bad person saying that I'm excited for her to see how much weight I've lost. I've lost 26 pounds since I've seen her last.... no amount of baggy clothes can hide that tbh. I wonder if she'll say anything because she knows I have struggled with anorexia in the past. i shouldn't focus on that, I should focus on how great it will be to see her!
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#26
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Posted 10 May 2021 - 09:49 PM
may 10
2pm: lunch (270 cal)
shirataki noodles and instant miso with carrots, lunchmeat/ 140 cal
apple slices and cantaloupe / 70 cal
toast with tzatziki / 60 cal
10 pm: dinner (270 cal)
tuna and tzatziki wrap / 140 cal
steamed spinach, carrots, riced cauliflower / 60 cal
brussel sprout chips / 60 cal
12am: evening snack (260 cal)
toast with hummus / 125 cal
lime halo top popsicle / 35 cal
brussel sprout chips and salsa / 50 cal
watermelon and strawberries / 50 cal
exercise: 270 cal burned
2.76 mile run
journal:
Best day in a long time! I finally saw my best friend after not seeing her for 3 months! We got coffee and had a lil smoke sesh with a couple of other friends. I am so excited for this summer, my semester ended today and I am so excited to take a bunch of trips with my friends! My friend noticed my weight loss and expressed that she was very concerned with the amount of weight I've lost. part of me is ecstatic that it is noticeable but I don't want to freak my friends out or have them overly concerned about me.
Anyway, my work schedule is normal this week thank good, can't wait to plow through it and hang out with friends again next weekend! Now I can actually start getting out of the damn house on the weekends and I have something to motivate me through the week! It's gonna be overcast and rainy the next two days at work, which means it's nice and slow. Hopefully I can get a head start on my summer classes while I'm bored at work. Gonna take a walk tomorrow morning bc I won't get home till 4 and I won't really have time afterwards.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#27
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Posted 12 May 2021 - 09:55 PM
may 12
3pm: lunch (240 cal)
turkey and hummus wrap / 140 cal
cucumber, carrots, steamed spinach 40 cal
watermelon and cantaloupe / 40 cal
7 snap pea chips / 40 cal
10:30pm: dinner (250 cal)
shirataki noodles in instant miso with chicken and bell pepper / 120 cal
steamed spinach, carrots, and cucumber / 60 cal
rice crackers and salsa / 70 cal
12am: evening snack (210 cal)
rice cakes and greek yogurt / 150 cal
orange slices and strawberries / 60 cal
exercise: 300 cal burned
8 hr shift (~12k steps): 300 cal
journal:
Today was really good, my mom and I have been getting along recently after fighting for a bit. I haven't been posting as much bc there's been a lot going on in my family with my brother and my parents. I've been doing okay but my parents, being stressed, have been getting stricter with my eating. I'm honestly surprised it's taken them so long. I'm not that mad about it because I am so close to my UGW that if I need to slow my weight loss down to get my parents off my back, it's no biggie at all. Weigh-ins with my psychiatrist are going to be my only real challenge. I need to be as smart as possible, hiding weight loss with baggie clothes, I found some tiny 5-pound ankle weights to use at weigh-ins. That should definitely be enough until I hit 90 lbs. I'm fine with upping my calories when it gets to that point, hopefully not for a couple of weeks. Today I ate less so that I could eat a snack after my run tomorrow in front of my mom. I still want to hide a portion of it because I hate hate hate eating before noon or lunch in general, makes me feel like a failure. But that's why I saved 70 cal today, so that I could eat something tomorrow morning because my mom has been especially difficult about me not eating until 2 or 3pm. I love my mom and I really hope I am not fucking up our relationship. I don't want this weight loss to last forever, I want to get back to normal and maintain. I don't even really want to maintain at BMI 14.8 (87 pounds), I just want to hit it and maintain in the 15's. I don't think that will be a problem at all, I can go back to normal life (except I can't eat quite as much, prolly around 1200-1300 cal w exercise). But that's doable around parents, I can convince them I am recovering mentally and that my relapse was just a fluke thing.
Anyway, going to bed on a good note, prepared for tomorrow. Gonna have a sleepover in my mom's room tonight cause her bed is so much comfier than mine. Also she makes me feel safe lol, that's so stupid but whatever, I love her.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#28
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Posted 21 May 2021 - 08:54 PM
body checks from a week ago
I weighed about 98 pounds in these, I believe I'm 96-97 lbs rn
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#29
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Posted 21 May 2021 - 09:54 PM
may 21
3pm: lunch (245 cal)
progresso light chicken and rotini soup / 130 cal
zucchini noodles / 35 cal
24.2g carrots and 33.3g celery / 15 cal
rice cake and 5 snap pea chips / 60 cal
11pm: dinner (275 cal)
spicy ramen in bone broth bowl / 200 cal
1 oz turkey lunchmeat / 25 cal
42.5g riced cauliflower, 66.6g cucumber / 20 cal
half rice cake + salsa / 30 cal
12am: evening snack (225 cal)
rice cake and toast / 75 cal
light + fit greek yogurt / 80 cal
50g orange and 128.6g cantaloupe / 70 cal
exercise: 300 cal burned
8 hr shift
journal:
I got a new car today!!! Took out a loan and everything. Good thing the check for my totaled car covered the rest of the payment. Gotta start working on my credit, so I financed my car payment by taking out a loan! It's a 2016 bright red Toyota Corolla and it is sooooo fucking nice. Not new, but looks new and only has 70k miles on it. That was definitely the highlight of my day.
These past 2 weeks have been better than the previous ones bc my parents are a bit more off my back. Also, my friends and I are consistently doing something every Sunday which has DRASTICALLY improved my mood. Before that, I worked all week and did nothing on my 2 days off, so depressing. Started moving my once a week smoke session to Sunday so I can smoke with friends, but I'm missing getting stoned alone, it just hits different. I think I'll just smoke after hanging out with my friends Sunday instead of during. We're seeing my friend's boyfriend's band play at a local venue so we don't really need to get stoned before that. At the end of the day, I just need to get high this weekend. point blank period.
With the little things like getting a new car, starting some summer classes that I'm actually enjoying, hanging out with all my friends as a group weekly AND at work, and having a weekly smoke session, I have plenty of things to keep me looking forward to the future and getting me through each work week. I am also nearing my UGW which is exciting and very scary at the same time. I cannot believe it has gone this quickly and has been this consistent. I did NOT think I would actually end up here. But I'm so fucking proud of myself, I have not let up with consistency and I haven't binged or even eaten maintenance calories one time in 3 months.
Unfortunately, now all 3 of my close friends have become vocally concerned about my weight I know they've discussed it with each other. Not sure how I feel about this at all, will update on this bit :/
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#30
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Posted 27 May 2021 - 10:41 PM
may 28
3pm: lunch (280 cal)
salad with turkey lunchmeat, riced cauliflower, veggies / 170 cal
zucchini noodles / 20 cal
142.8g cantaloupe / 20 cal
toast with tsp tzatziki / 50 cal
12am: dinner (260 cal)
progresso light chicken dumpling soup / 160 cal
steamed spinach, broccoli, carrots / 50 cal
veggie straws / 50 cal
1am: snack (95 cal)
toast with 42.5g vanilla halo top / 95 cal
exercise: 370 cal burned
2.75 mile run / 250 cal
5 hr shift / 120 cal
journal:
wow I did not intend to only eat 650 calories today, I mean I have a day once a week that I always eat about 600 calories instead of my usual 800 but that's cause it's my weed smoking day lol. I replace my night snack with weed. Still gonna do that on Sunday (my current smoke day). The reason I only ate 650 today is cause I got home from work really late, which I usually do but I had to take a math test before midnight. So I made my dinner at midnight and once I was done with that I still had 250 calories left and I'm like... I really don't wanna go weigh out a bunch of fruit and shit and try to think of a way to fill up 250 calories, it is 2am rn. Way too late. So I said fuck it just weighed out a bit of vanilla halo top (I never eat the vanilla, only strawberry because the vanilla is too high in cal.) Vanilla is my fav flavor and I thought I wasn't going to let myself have any, but if I'm gonna be eating way less than usual I want some! I'm still feeling really guilty about eating over half my calories past midnight most days but that's just how my fucking work schedule is. I'd eat more before work but then I'd have nothing to look forward to after work... so I don't really want to change that.
anyways, today was good. had therapy and my dietician appt. back to back which was annoying but work went by really fast and I felt really good after running this morning. I haven't been able to weigh myself since May 5 cause my mom took my scale. I think I'm just gonna order a new one cause this shit is annoying. I have been estimating my weight loss each week because I have been consistently losing about 1.6-2 pounds a week for 3 months now and I don't see why that would change now that I don't have a scale. I've been underestimating the weight loss and guessing I've been losing about 1.5 pounds a week now that my BMR is lower but I just don't wanna have too high of expectations for when I weigh myself. It's gonna be a huge drop regardless cause it's been almost a damn month.
I think I'll eat over 800 cal tomorrow and try to eat dinner with my mom so she gets off my ass, I'm so glad I saved some calories for that today cause this probably going to work out in my favor. I've been saving calories up all week (like doing 750 cal, 770 cal, etc. instead of 800) and I have 120 cal saved that I spend whenever my mom is suspicious. Look at me being all strategic and shit! It's been working, I have to make "breakfast" before work sometimes which is usually me grabbing a cottage cheese, eating a bite in front of her and then throwing the rest away. Then I just subtract about 20 cal from my saved calories and continue with my normal meals.
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#31
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Posted 02 June 2021 - 11:10 PM
june 3
2pm: lunch (260 cal)
tuna and hummus wrap / 130
52g broccoli flourets, 25g tomato, 33.3g cucumber, 24.2g carrots / 35 cal
142g cantaloupe and watermelon / 50 cal
veggie straws / 35 cal
10:30pm: dinner (230 cal)
progresso light chicken noodle soup / 130 cal
riced cauliflower, 24.2g carrots, 66.6g carrots, 32g celery / 55 cal
spicy veggie crackers/ 45 cal
12am: snack (240 cal)
165g vanilla halo top / 180 cal
125g watermelon / 40 cal
half a rice cake / 20 cal
exercise: 300 cal burned
9 hr shift (13k steps)
journal:
Really chill day at work. Nothing eventful happened except I got a weighted blanket!!! I've been so cold constantly even tho it's summer I wanted to treat myself. Probably going to weigh myself tomorrow and I know I'll be under 94 lbs which means I'm literally 7 pounds away from my UGW what the fuckkkk
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#32
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Posted 03 June 2021 - 11:28 PM
june 3
weigh in: 93.75 lbs
3pm: lunch (290 cal)
iced coffee / 20 cal
salad with riced cauliflower, turkey lunchmeat, mixed veggies, tzatziki and vinegar / 165
carrots, cucumber, bell pepper on side / 20 cal
rice cake / 30 cal
cantaloupe and watermelon / 55 cal
11pm: dinner (270 cal)
harvest carrot and ginger soup (campbell's yes well soup) /130 cal
riced cauliflower and steamed spinach / 20 cal
celery, bel pepper, cucumber, carrots / 30 cal
1am: snack (220 cal)
165g vanilla halo top / 180 cal
125g watermelon / 40 cal
half a rice cake / 20 cal
exercise: 400 cal burned
2.75 mile run / 260 cal
4 hour shift / 140 cal
journal:
Had a fantastic day at work! Thursdays have been hard cause I have back to back therapy and a dietician appt but I got my run out of the way before both of them and was super relaxed until I went to work. Work was really great, I've got these 2 new great coworkers that I'm really getting along with!
Tried this new soup for dinner tonight.... holy shit. Best soup ever, I was so worried that since it wasn't broth based (it was like veggie puree carrot and ginger) that it was not going to be worth 180 cal (I prefer soups with 130-160 cal). I was even more disappointed to find it was all puree and no loose veggies in it. However!!! I just weighed it out and found that there wasn't the net weight in grams that was supposed to be in the can, so it was more like 170 cal, and I added some cucumber and celery to fill in that missing 10 cal. Way more satisfying to see soup with stuff actually in it, but even without the veggies, once I actually tried I was like holy shit. Totally fucking worth it, I need to make sure I have this soup in my panty at all times.
I'm getting my nails done tomorrow morning so I'm so excited for that! Gonna get some good sleep with my new weighted blanket and wake up early to run before that!!! I'm so pumped
Oh, I also weighed myself, finally after a month. Aaaaand of course my weight is right where I estimated it to be! Gonna upload a couple body checks
↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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#33
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Posted 04 June 2021 - 12:28 AM
- delete_me_please likes this
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↠ ↞
Stats
5'4''
SW // 126.5
CW // idk tbh
LW // 88
GW1 // 115
GW2 // 105
UGW // 88-95
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Hurting family. Unintentionally.
#1
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Posted 19 May 2022 - 01:18 AM
Anyway. Yea I was talking and I was really upset. And I told her I felt fat (I was up 32lbs when we spoke - I’ve lost now 9lbs so far). So she turned around and said that because I said I feel fat I and calling her fat and disgusting and also it means I dislike gay people??! ( she’s a lesbian). Like eh? I wouldn’t EVER say that to her and also I don’t hate gay people so kinda was shocked at her.
I get me saying that might have triggered her but she went in on me after that was was awful. I have ended up apologising loads. Which I regret because I didn’t say anything awful about her.
But this has ruined our relationship. I broke down on my Mam, was suicidal badly which upset my Mam and it all just fell apart.
Right now all I talk too is my dad. My mam says she can’t handle it and my sister was horrible.
Has anyone else had the same kinda experience? I do feel fat. Well tbh I am right now. Tho I haven’t any mirrors in my house right now. They’re all in the cupboard cos couldn’t stand seeing myself. But I know I am. Just how do I fix it?
Advice?
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#3
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Posted 19 May 2022 - 01:48 AM
Metalocalypse, on 19 May 2022 - 01:47 AM, said:
Your big sister has issues.
See I did think this. But man I feel awful.
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#4
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Posted 19 May 2022 - 01:54 AM
about you struggling with your weight to about *you* thinking SHES fat
She’s projecting her own insecurities.
I had this happen to me with my best friend as a child-
The whole me saying “ugh I’m so fat! I need to lose weight.”
And it triggering her own body insecurities weighing slightly more than me -
“If you think you’re fat then I must look like an elephant to you...” All hurt
You didn’t do anything wrong,
you just shared that you were struggling and it triggered her own body insecurities.
Siblings do a lot of comparing themselves to their siblings.
She probably wishes she looked like you.
#5
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Posted 19 May 2022 - 01:59 AM
Metalocalypse, on 19 May 2022 - 01:54 AM, said:
It’s narcissistic of her to turn a conversation
about you struggling with your weight to about *you* thinking SHES fat
She’s projecting her own insecurities.
I had this happen to me with my best friend as a child-
The whole me saying “ugh I’m so fat! I need to lose weight.”
And it triggering her own body insecurities weighing slightly more than me -
“If you think you’re fat then I must look like an elephant to you...” All hurt
How did you deal with this situation? I have apologised. A lot. But it’s ruined our relationship
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#6
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Posted 19 May 2022 - 02:26 AM
anyone who thinks you talking abour your own weight is actually a diss on them is either a major narcisist or in denial about being fat
- Skinnyminnie1984isback likes this
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༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
❣ HW 55kg ┊ 121lbs ➺ CW 44.1kg ┊ 97lbs ➺ GW 40kg ┊ 88lbs ❣
154cm ┊ 5'1"
*₊✧⊹
❣ Pastries Pastries Pastries ! ! ! ❣
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
#7
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Posted 19 May 2022 - 02:28 AM
4d4l1v3, on 19 May 2022 - 02:26 AM, said:
anyone who thinks you talking abour your own weight is actually a diss on them is either a major narcisist or in denial about being fat
Tbh. She is overweight. Not me being bitchy or Ed etc. But she is quite overweight. But man. She made me feel awful. I was severely suicidal how horrible she was. I just want to fix this. I feel bad for even expressing how I feel. At least now my weight is coming down so hoping I won’t feel fat much longer. But she’s my sister you know? The guilt hurts.
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
https://www.myproana...walking/page-10
#8
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Posted 19 May 2022 - 02:31 AM
Skinnyminnie1984isback, on 19 May 2022 - 02:28 AM, said:
Tbh. She is overweight. Not me being bitchy or Ed etc. But she is quite overweight. But man. She made me feel awful. I was severely suicidal how horrible she was. I just want to fix this. I feel bad for even expressing how I feel. At least now my weight is coming down so hoping I won’t feel fat much longer. But she’s my sister you know? The guilt hurts.
i know what you mean, its hard to be in an arguement (more like one sided hatred lol) with a sibling
you didnt do anything wrong though, its not up to you to fix her mistakes, whether thats her being fat or her getting mad about being fat. Let her come to you once she realizes
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༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
❣ HW 55kg ┊ 121lbs ➺ CW 44.1kg ┊ 97lbs ➺ GW 40kg ┊ 88lbs ❣
154cm ┊ 5'1"
*₊✧⊹
❣ Pastries Pastries Pastries ! ! ! ❣
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
#9
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Posted 19 May 2022 - 02:33 AM
Skinnyminnie1984isback, on 19 May 2022 - 01:59 AM, said:
How did you deal with this situation? I have apologised. A lot. But it’s ruined our relationship
I told my friend that she’s beautiful exactly the way she is and doesn’t need to change
I hyped her up about her attractive features and reminded her of all The Who people love her
We are our own worst critics.
I’d just take a step back from your sister
She’s dealing with her own issues, clearly.
( You never said or did anything wrong she has no reason to be mad at you )
It’s pointless to keep apologizing
Let her be at war with herself
She’s acting crazy
(accusing you of thinking she’s fat & disgusting,
& disgusting for being gay OUT OF NO WHERE )
Her behavior is toxic (making everything about her & not being supportive of your recovery)
You can’t win with crazy
You will just be mentally drained
she’ll come around eventually when she’s ready
#10
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Posted 19 May 2022 - 02:37 AM
i think the leaps from "she [skinny person i.e. you] thinks she's fat"-->"I'm [your sister] larger than her"-->"Therefore, she must think I'm fat" are quite normal and to be expected from normal, non-ed people. My sister does the same thing and I get her reasoning, bc for non-ed people who are nevertheless self-conscious abt their weight, seeing a thinner person calling themselves fat is most likely going to lead them down that self-referential, self-conscious route. (i rlly don't see how she couldve made the homophobic leap sincerely tho lol)
i think you did all you could by sincerely apologizing, and if she refuses to accept your apology, then that's because she has worse issues than just being self-conscious, and is instead holding an immature grudge. maybe, tho, she just needs some time to calm down? i say give her some space and time and see how that works.
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#11
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Posted 19 May 2022 - 02:45 AM
unwishwax, on 19 May 2022 - 02:37 AM, said:
i think the leaps from "she [skinny person i.e. you] thinks she's fat"-->"I'm [your sister] larger than her"-->"Therefore, she must think I'm fat" are quite normal and to be expected from normal, non-ed people. My sister does the same thing and I get her reasoning, bc for non-ed people who are nevertheless self-conscious abt their weight, seeing a thinner person calling themselves fat is most likely going to lead them down that self-referential, self-conscious route. (i rlly don't see how she couldve made the homophobic leap sincerely tho lol)
i think you did all you could by sincerely apologizing, and if she refuses to accept your apology, then that's because she has worse issues than just being self-conscious, and is instead holding an immature grudge. maybe, tho, she just needs some time to calm down? i say give her some space and time and see how that works.
I have blocked her and my little sister ( she agreed with my big sis that I was mean apparently. I genuinely all I said was that I felt fat and couldn’t handle it. But yea. She sided with her. Then she went off in my dad which is another story lol).
I am just gonna leave it be and speak ina few weeks etc.
The guilt is awful. But also. It’s kinda making me feel like because I’m losing. Fast actually it is just dropping off - 4kg in 5 days. Is that ok?? - I won’t feel fat for long so I can be ok and i can apologise again and maybe they will forgive me? I honestly never ever would have called her fat.
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
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#12
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Posted 19 May 2022 - 02:45 AM
4d4l1v3, on 19 May 2022 - 02:31 AM, said:
i know what you mean, its hard to be in an arguement (more like one sided hatred lol) with a sibling
you didnt do anything wrong though, its not up to you to fix her mistakes, whether thats her being fat or her getting mad about being fat. Let her come to you once she realizes
Thankyou xx
Relapse sw 184 (bmi 28.8 😫 Thankyou olanzapine)
Cw FAT. Bmi? Fat. It’s all too big.
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98
Dx : an/r sh eupd traits
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Posted 29 June 2022 - 08:52 AM
I've done typed this about 3 times and have either changed it or have fucked up and closed out a window or something. Whatever.
Short and sweet. I am 5'3 but I set my Garmin to 5'0 because I don't trust fitness trackers anymore. My last accountability I had this "grand" new plan on how I was going to decrease my caloric intake to "defeat" binge urges. But as of today I am 35 days binge free and it's not even that I've been fighting the urges. I just haven't had them. Not to say they wont rear their ugly head again but right now I feel in control with that.
I just felt like I needed a fresh start after some shit went down in the month of June - probably detailed more in my blog but I don't want go into it right now. But I feel like I need a fresh start in July. (Feel free to check out my unorganized blog on here. It's nothing more than crazy ramblings)
I am going to be doing the extended healthy skinny girl diet - I am expecting to lose between 25 - 30 lbs while doing it.
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Posted 30 June 2022 - 11:45 AM
Fairly excited to start the HSGD diet tomorrow. I've been binge free since May 25th so I'm feeling pretty good going into this. I did lose hardly any weight in June - I was 230.8 on June 1st and I've been bouncing around between 227-228 for most of the month. Curious to see what the officially July weigh in says. But at least I kissed the 230's good bye, remained binge free, and even lost a bit - even if it's just a little. So even though I didn't really hit any goals - it wasn't a total wash.
Most likely I will be posting a lot more through Tapatalk instead of via the computer just because I want to update EVERY day even if my wife is home and she's super nosey with what I do on the computer. Not like creepy way, but she hasn't seen me on the computer much in awhile and so when I'm on here typing a whole lot she just gets curious. I usually just tell her it's a blog but then she wants to read it. Like. No thank you.
Thanks for stopping by and hopefully I can keep at this thread for awhile. I mean at least a full round of HSGD right xP
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Posted 30 June 2022 - 09:05 PM
[Monday] July 4 2022 - HSGD Day 1 / 900 kcal -
-----------------------------------------------------
Intake - /900
Output -
Steps -
Deficit -
#13
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Posted 30 June 2022 - 09:06 PM
[Tuesday] July 5 2022 - HSGD Day 2 / 800 kcal -
------------------------------------------------------
Intake - /800
Output -
Steps -
Deficit -
#14
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Posted Yesterday, 11:52 PM
Following- good luck!
18 - He/Him
Stats, Goals, and More Dragons
I have dragons and dragon eggs! Click to help them grow up
Stats
Height: 5'5.5" / 65.5in / 166cm
HW: 157lbs / 71kg / BMI 25.7
LW: 145lbs / 65kg / BMI 23.8
SW: 149lbs / 67kg / BMI 24.4
CW: 146lbs / 66kg / BMI 23.9
Goals
GW1: 145lbs / 65kg / BMI 23.8
GW2: 140lbs / 63kg / BMI 22.9
GW3: 135lbs / 61kg / BMI 22.1
GW4: 130lbs / 59kg / BMI 21.3
GW5: 125lbs / 56kg / BMI 20.5
GW6: 120lbs / 54kg / BMI 19.7
GW7: 115lbs / 52kg / BMI 18.8
GW8: 110lbs / 49kg / BMI 18.0
UGW: 105lbs / 47kg / BMI 17.2
_________________________________
Updated May 20th, 2022
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Posted 01 July 2022 - 03:30 PM
hey it's nice to see another past mcyt fan here! <3
i just wanted to say i heard of the news of technoblade passing away as well and i was in shock when i first saw it :(..
i was subbed to him for a really long time as well and even though i left that community a while ago, his death still really hit me hard i couldn't stop crying
fuck cancer seriously.. gosh
and don't feel bad for that cake, you deserve it after hearing such sad news :-;
#98
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Posted 01 July 2022 - 05:08 PM
week eleven; 27 june - 3 july, 2022
---------
saturday, 2 july:
weight: -
total kj intake: 5010kj - 1500kj = 3510kj
stuff eaten:
breakfast: coffee (210) + cereal (1500) + rice stick (150) + siu mai (600)
dinner: roti (800) + curry (1750? not sure- high estimate just in case, but it was mainly eggplant/cauliflower/paneer. i've no idea about the names of the dishes, sorry!)
notes:
woke up and was very tired. i didn't weigh myself because i ate a little more than intended yesterday, but that should be okay.
it's raining heavily today, so i walked around a shopping centre instead of outdoors. also i realised my period arrived? ...ten days early. but eh, i'll take it i guess. good riddance of that water weight!
edit 7:03pm; ugh i binged on curry as soon as i got home... i'm glad i exercised + was on my feet for two hours additional to that. it certainly eased the pain, but still i feel hideous for it. i was so out of control...
it was an emotional binge (i don't want to get into details, but now a creep/stranger has my phone number against my will) - i'm not in any danger, so don't worry, it's a-okay now!
but still arghhhhh- i need to grow a backbone one of these days i swear; one of these days i'll learn how to say no!!!
...i'm at least glad that in worst case scenario, i'm still at a hefty deficit. not looking forward to tomorrow's weigh in, though. also i have an outing then??? uhh might just drink coffee and fast the whole day / exercise in the morning if possible. i want to at least make up for it...
don't take me too seriously though- i'm definitely blowing stuff out of proportion- heck, i know i've lost on 4500! so i'm still quite glad with how i went today overall.
also i should definitely make a habit of posting later in the day opposed to at 10am in the morning... stuff keeps happening late at night lmao
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peach.tea (ピーチティー), on 30 Jun 2022 - 8:59 PM, said:
Oh my gosh banana fritters!!! I don't blame you for indulging in breakfast, they are just too good ԅ(¯﹃¯ԅ)
And takoyaki's probably one of my favourite japanese street foods ever, I literally go crazy when I can eat them
yes yes!! although i don't like bananas by themselves, fritters are soo good aaaaaaa >w<''''
i really like takoyaki!! that's why i ate it haha. sushi, ramen and takoyaki are some of the best foods to ever exist in my opinion hehe!
toastt, on 01 Jul 2022 - 3:30 PM, said:
hey it's nice to see another past mcyt fan here! <3
i just wanted to say i heard of the news of technoblade passing away as well and i was in shock when i first saw it
..
i was subbed to him for a really long time as well and even though i left that community a while ago, his death still really hit me hard i couldn't stop crying
fuck cancer seriously.. gosh
and don't feel bad for that cake, you deserve it after hearing such sad news :-;
yeah it took me by surprise too... i saw the video 30 minutes after it was released. i've never actually experienced someone dying before so this was a new experience for me. he was only 23, too...
i hope his family and friends are doing alright. i heard that people were spamming his friends' chats to get them to react so that they could clip & make profit off it... i learned people were doing this sort of shit and yikes have some respect dear lord
i hope you're feeling a little better now too <3 this is hard news for everyone ;-;
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#99
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Posted 02 July 2022 - 04:04 AM
i can never say no either and it's a serious problem
i'm sorry you were put in that position :c
big hugs xxx
#100
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Posted 02 July 2022 - 01:26 PM
i'm so sorry you had to go through that for the first time..
experiencing the loss of someone you care about is so difficult.. :(
i hope you feel better soon as well ;-; <3 <3 we can get through this!
also holy shit i saw that tweet too, i was so disgusted when i saw it..
its absolutely fucked up but why am i not even surprised that people are doing this :/
some people are so vile.. i feel so bad for sneeg
#101
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Posted 02 July 2022 - 10:38 PM
week eleven; 27 june - 3 july, 2022
---------
sunday, 3 july:
weight: -
total kj intake: 3860kj
stuff eaten:
breakfast: coffee (210) + cereal (1100)
lunch: coconut curried vegetables (300) + brinjal curry (500)
snack: bubur sumsum (1500?) + 4 chinese shrimp balls (1200)
notes:
once again, i'm not weighing myself as i ate later yesterday + on period. oddly enough i used to struggle a lot with not weighing myself every day; now, i can reason with myself not to, which helps a lot.
so my friends ended up cancelling the meetup, which was annoying because now i can't go out and get my steps in, but at least i save money. (it's still raining unfortunately)
...i mean, i have another one tomorrow but still i was a little miffed which might've caused my higher intake today ><;
anyways, tomorrow i'll be going to a restaurant (or two); only issue is... i don't have extensive restaurant experience lmao
i've heard that restaurant food is high-calorie and this seems true ASSUMING THAT ONE COFFEE IS 1500kj????????? i'm glad their menu has the cal content listed on the website because i would have not expected it to be that high but W H A T
i think i'll just drink tea in the morning, then have one coffee once i get there? will probably omad that day (if i feel like it that'd also give me enough leeway to buy one meal & have space) but wow i'm stunned. i don't even think i could physically put together a 1500kj drink from the ingredients in my own kitchen! at most i'd hit like 1000?
anyways, while i did overeat (i intended to just stay at around 1500kj), it didn't turn into a binge, so i'm happy. i have no idea how to calculate the bubur sumsum - i had like 1.5 cups- but it's very light so i've no idea how much it was. i'll put a placeholder of 1500kj for now.
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isabella ♥, on 02 Jul 2022 - 04:04 AM, said:
i can never say no either and it's a serious problem
i'm sorry you were put in that position :c
big hugs xxx
thank you!! yeah as soon as i got home i blocked the number and i hope nothing bad comes of it. blehhh ><
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#102
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Posted Today, 02:07 AM
week twelve; 4 - 10 july, 2022
---------
monday, 4 july:
weight: 58.9kg
total kj intake: 1700kj
stuff eaten:
breakfast: tea (0) + rice stick (160) + mixed nuts (300) + shrimp ball (500)
lunch outing: ice tea (420) + salted caramel macaron (300)
notes:
[ falling deeper everyday as the gravity calls my name ]
163cm (5'4) // 57.5kg ;w;
[ accountability ]
have a good day ♡
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Posted Yesterday, 11:14 AM
days binge free: 1
water intake: 1.5 L
food intake
hot chocolate
total: 400 ~ calories
today was sorta a liquid fast instead. i broke it at around 18 hours but hear me out. i went out w my friend and managed to avoid getting food w her. went home and there was a bunch of food made for unexpected visitors, including my fave lasagne
. managed to resist that too tho which took balls bc that shit is GOOOOD. then my parents took us out to this huge park to chill for a bit which was nice. burnt a ton of calories walking around too. then of course they took us to a dessert shop. i figured that getting a hot chocolate would be lower cal than ice cream but maybe i should’ve stuck with the latter lol. that hot chocolate was massive. it’s the only thing i’ll have today so can i pass today off as a liquid fast instead of a water fast? is that considered cheating lmfaonot sure what i’ll do tomorrow. main reason i decided to water fast was bc i was so convinced i was over 100 lbs. now that i know i’m not there’s not rly any reason to fast. my goal for this month is to hit 89 which is 7 lbs away. i can do that with my usual low res i think. fasting is a little pointless as long as i actually stick to my limit this time
i think that my estimate for the hot chocolate should be good. no way can it be over 400 right? idk lols tell me if you think i’m wrong
#233
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Posted Yesterday, 11:31 AM
18 - He/Him
Stats, Goals, and More Dragons
I have dragons and dragon eggs! Click to help them grow up
Stats
Height: 5'5.5" / 65.5in / 166cm
HW: 157lbs / 71kg / BMI 25.7
LW: 145lbs / 65kg / BMI 23.8
SW: 149lbs / 67kg / BMI 24.4
CW: 146lbs / 66kg / BMI 23.9
Goals
GW1: 145lbs / 65kg / BMI 23.8
GW2: 140lbs / 63kg / BMI 22.9
GW3: 135lbs / 61kg / BMI 22.1
GW4: 130lbs / 59kg / BMI 21.3
GW5: 125lbs / 56kg / BMI 20.5
GW6: 120lbs / 54kg / BMI 19.7
GW7: 115lbs / 52kg / BMI 18.8
GW8: 110lbs / 49kg / BMI 18.0
UGW: 105lbs / 47kg / BMI 17.2
_________________________________
Updated May 20th, 2022
#234
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Posted Yesterday, 11:38 AM
SadSun, on 03 Jul 2022 - 11:31 AM, said:
Omfg that looks so yummy
brooo it was worth every calorie it was DELICIOUSSSS
#235
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Posted Yesterday, 11:42 AM
that hot choco looks soooo good omfg. & the "plating"... it makes it look even betterrrrr
also, should not be above 400 :>
#236
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Posted Yesterday, 12:00 PM
fαye, on 03 Jul 2022 - 11:42 AM, said:
IKR i thought it’d be horrible bc it looks delicious and things that look good often end up tasting nasty but it tasted even better than it looked which is saying somethingthat hot choco looks soooo good omfg. & the "plating"... it makes it look even betterrrrr
also, should not be above 400 :>
thank u !! i was freaking out bc someone told me it could be 5-700 but i seriously doubt it. if a sbucks large frappe w whole milk is around 400 i don’t see why this should be dissimilar bcs it’s more or less got the same ingredients what with milk cream and syrup
#237
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Posted Today, 08:16 AM
days binge free: 2
water intake: 2.5 L
intake
iced coffee
pain au chocolate
kfc mini fillet burger
indomie noodles
total calories: 850 ish
early update bc hopefully it’ll put me off from eating later. resisted a binge today !! v proud. the kfc wasn’t part of it, that was bc i was forced to eat it w my mom lol. it was yummy tho and i don’t feel too bad ab it? weird. then ofc we argued ab sth stupid and i made 2 packets of indomie noodles to make myself feel better. halfway through eating them i was like wtf why am i doing this when i know i’ll feel worse afterwards. suddenly i didn’t wanna binge anymore so i put fairy liquid over them before i had any second thoughts. idk how many i ate so i’ll put 850 as an overestimation bc there was def more than half left in the bowl. i wasn’t sure if i should count this as a binge but i decided not to bc i stopped things p quickly and i’m still in a 550 calorie deficit. i wasn’t out of control either, rather the opposite since i managed to stop. usually i’d feel crappy ab an intake this high but today i’m proud that i managed to nip things in the bud. this might not seem like much but as someone who used to eat as much as 6000 calories on bad days i think i’ve come far and i’m satisfied with that. ofc restricting is still shit too but it’s not as bad as binging. eating 6k calories used to hurt my stomach so much i’d be bedbound the next day. im so glad that it’s all in the past now, i haven’t had a binge over 4k since june last year (: people rly underestimate how difficult struggling w binging is
trying to convince myself i haven’t gained so i don’t have to weigh tom. not doing the best job so far
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#238
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Posted Today, 11:55 AM
i hate low res. hate it. you can’t enjoy food properly, you feel like utter shit and it’s just crappy. but it’s so addictive. i can’t stop. not j because i’m scared of high res, but bc low res gives me such a rush. knowing that i’m running off nothing, not needing to eat constantly like everyone else, resisting food when others are eating. this is cringe but i feel powerful. not to mention the physical high. best way to describe it is that it feels like a fasting high, only im not fasting. i love how manic it feels. i’ve never related to people who follow that it girl lifestyle. i’m far from stable so it doesn’t make sense as to why i should try to high restrict and maintain a semi healthy lifestyle
i am the opposite of healthy so there’s no point faking that i have my shit together when i don’t. tbh i’m kind of envious when i see people with aesthetic meal plans and smoothies and salads n shit bc can’t relate lol. i eat whatever i find in the kitchen, most of it unhealthy junk food. i just don’t think there’s any point in pretending to be someone i’m not through my eating if that makes any sense to anyone outside of my stupid lil mind lolll
#916
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Posted Today, 01:04 PM
cw 141.6
really, i just want to be under 120 again and i'll feel safe losing "slow"
right now, losing slow for how big i am, feels so vile...
intake so far:
14 strawberries - about 110 cal
predictions:
we'll have a bunch of carne asada made, but hopefully i can pass with a small cup of beans (100g) & salsa (like 5~10g) (107)
doubtful but we'll see
ALSO NOT ME GETTING BACK INTO THE GOOD DOCTOR AND THE FIRST EPISODE I WATCH IS SOMEONE WITH AN
#917
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Posted Today, 01:53 PM
i feel the same way as you - 120 is a safe place to lose slow from. you'll be there soon, hang tight. the 140s feel like they're lasting a lifetime but you're right on the edge of the 130s! also great job not fasting, that was a really smart move <3
SW: 176 // 80 · GW1: 165 // 75 · GW2: 154 // 70 · GW3: 143 // 65 · GW4: 132 // 60 · GW5: 121 // 55 · UGW: 110 // 50
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Posted Today, 01:51 PM
Thinking about baking pretzels but purging doughy bread sucks so i’d probably just chew and spit. I have 1 more packet of ramen that would be easy enough to purge, maybe have more mini oreos to replicate my morning b/p. I should give up my b/p fantasies and play a video game or something. Actually my bf just saved me, he is off work so i gotta go pick him up… hopefully no more bingeing or purging today. I’m exhausted!
(BTW I do not condone chew/spit, or purging, and I definitely do not condone flushing. Its very dangerous. Im just fat and desperate)
#31
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Posted Yesterday, 01:07 PM
rant below - it's sort of restriction related but not especially. but even just the word restriction means that it goes here instead of my journal. i'm not about to waste my life writing out this bs on paper. i kinda regret typing this on here either though. whiney :]
i know i usually update ab once a day but everything is just so ugh lately. like, i've literally lost all of my motivation towards anything, even stuff i used to be passionate about, like language. everything just feels too hard and like a chore even though it really shouldn't be. i just waste my time literally in my bedroom doing nothing. i'll be watching mindless youtube or be reading depressing news articles or basically just doing things that aren't worthwhile and are a waste of time. and idk why i feel this way because nothing especially bad is happening in my life, like i've not been affected by recent laws bc i don't live in north america. and i'm not really restricting properly so it's not that, and i'm doing well in school and i have friends but i just feel so alone for some reason. honestly in regards to home life / standard of living / rights in my country i'm probably one of the luckiest people alive and yet i waste all of my time being miserable. i'm happy a lot ig but most people in my position are thriving in every area of life. the only thing i'm really good at is academics but it doesn't make me happy at all anymore. a lot of my hobbies used to make me happy but now everything feels awful. i just feel like everything is going wrong even when it shouldn't be lmao, and i can't even articulate atm. i've been so exhausted recently, especially because i've been with like eleven of my friends at a party and people are so exhausting istg.
anywayy i'm in a small deficit today (sunday) so there's that. i feel like i should add a bit of positivity to this post haha.
i hope i feel better tmr. most days i don't really feel amazing but some days are defo better than others.
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#32
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Posted Today, 12:44 PM
sunday 3rd july
habits: vitamin [x] 2L water [ ] read [x] draw [x] language [ ]
breakfast — avo toast (250)
lunch — tomato and (vegetarian) sausage rigatoni (600)
snacks — cookies / chocs / crisps (450), coke (150)
dinner — minestrone soup (175)
= 1,625 / 1,500
tdee: 1,856 / deficit: 231
steps: 10,123 / 6k
days binge free: 7
lmao i need to learn how to restrict. i was with friends from 4 - 9 and i was snacking a lot. i've realised that i have zero (000) self control. i went home and was still hungry - at least i had soup and not, idk, pizza. or instant noodles.
i never drink enough water when i eat a lot :/
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#33
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Posted Today, 02:06 PM
i prefer to update this accountability once a day bc it feels more organised but my everything is such a trainwreck lately. like my heartrate, which is the reason behind this post. i need to ask: is this graph bad?? or is it fine - does heartrate normally fluctuate? like, i'm not changing up my exercise routine. i'm rarely going under 1,200kcal, which is the 'healthy' amount, so? i'm going to look it up, but i may as well post here as well.
[i'm spoilering the rest because i have been an incoherent mess lately and it's honestly embarrassing. i was never the most well-spoken on here, but at least i sounded fairly articulate. my facade is lowkey crumbling what with my recent angst-filled, messy posts. i feel like i'm overthinking / over-exaggerating , but. someday i'm going to make a beautiful, well-written accountability. but it's not going to be today loll.]
today (monday) has been awful. i binged - i have yet to add up the cals, but around 4K?. i feel really really ashamed. normally i wouldn't stress it but i have an upcoming trip to see some family. and south asian food culture - ten days of being stuffed with food, and it's offensive to refuse. like, there's no way out of food. no exaggeration.
i'm terrified i'm going to gain back up to 52, which wouldn't be that hard to do bc it's less than 2kg. and i'll have to start all over again, and it took me a month to get to 50.7. like, i'm bingeing now, when i'm not being offered food 24/7. what am i going to do in my aunt's house when i am constantly being fed? it's stressing me out smm.
tbh i'm a complete normie masquerading on an ed website. like, most disordered* people would just low restrict to lose the weight again, or at least not binge 4K calories beforehand. what am i doing??
*and if they weren't suffering with a restrictive disorder, they would binge a lot, or be obsessive over the health of their food, or purge, or overexercise, or suffer with sensory issues, etc. unlike me, none of the above / normie. ofc you might have an ed without any of those behaviours, but i literally don't?? why am i here lmao.
anyway. i'm probably not going to update tmr, because i feel like i can't just post a binge day by itself. when i binge, i only post it after a restriction day, bc it almost 'makes up for it'?? ugh. even that has no logic, because tuesday's deficit of ~500 is clearly not gonna make up for monday's surplus of ~2,000.
i need to stop writing. as a perfectionist, my thread makes me uncomfortable bc everything is informal and lowkey ugly and i somehow sound dumb on every. single. post. lolll it's not really my day today.
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#34
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Guru
- Locationhell
Posted Today, 04:23 PM
ᴀɴᴀɴʏᴀ, on 04 Jul 2022 - 2:06 PM, said:
i prefer to update this accountability once a day bc it feels more organised but my everything is such a trainwreck lately. like my heartrate, which is the reason behind this post. i need to ask: is this graph bad?? or is it fine - does heartrate normally fluctuate? like, i'm not changing up my exercise routine. i'm rarely going under 1,200kcal, which is the 'healthy' amount, so? i'm going to look it up, but i may as well post here as well.
[i'm spoilering the rest because i have been an incoherent mess lately and it's honestly embarrassing. i was never the most well-spoken on here, but at least i sounded fairly articulate. my facade is lowkey crumbling what with my recent angst-filled, messy posts. i feel like i'm overthinking / over-exaggerating , but. someday i'm going to make a beautiful, well-written accountability. but it's not going to be today loll.]
Spoiler
today (monday) has been awful. i binged - i have yet to add up the cals, but around 4K?. i feel really really ashamed. normally i wouldn't stress it but i have an upcoming trip to see some family. and south asian food culture - ten days of being stuffed with food, and it's offensive to refuse. like, there's no way out of food. no exaggeration.
i'm terrified i'm going to gain back up to 52, which wouldn't be that hard to do bc it's less than 2kg. and i'll have to start all over again, and it took me a month to get to 50.7. like, i'm bingeing now, when i'm not being offered food 24/7. what am i going to do in my aunt's house when i am constantly being fed? it's stressing me out smm.
tbh i'm a complete normie masquerading on an ed website. like, most disordered* people would just low restrict to lose the weight again, or at least not binge 4K calories beforehand. what am i doing??
*and if they weren't suffering with a restrictive disorder, they would binge a lot, or be obsessive over the health of their food, or purge, or overexercise, or suffer with sensory issues, etc. unlike me, none of the above / normie. ofc you might have an ed without any of those behaviours, but i literally don't?? why am i here lmao.
anyway. i'm probably not going to update tmr, because i feel like i can't just post a binge day by itself. when i binge, i only post it after a restriction day, bc it almost 'makes up for it'?? ugh. even that has no logic, because tuesday's deficit of ~500 is clearly not gonna make up for monday's surplus of ~2,000.
i need to stop writing. as a perfectionist, my thread makes me uncomfortable bc everything is informal and lowkey ugly and i somehow sound dumb on every. single. post. lolll it's not really my day today.
i think it's normal because the time of day & what we did before resting also counts. it says that a heart rate of 53-82 bpm for women is around normal. i doubt you would gain much from the binge and the week you'll be with your family other than some food weight. it took me ~5 months of eating 2000-5000 calories daily to gain 10lb. i understand how hard it is to restrict in south asian households, especially with the foods we have & our elders feeding us sm ): i don't know if my words will help but even if you binged or overate your struggles and your ed are still valid, i hate how the image of eating disorders is just painted with habits like not eating at all or low restricting & overexercising when it goes much farther than that. & i promise you don't sound dumb on your posts, your accountability is very organized & its always nice to hear your thoughts/how you have been doing ^^
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whore extraordinaire
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Posted 30 June 2022 - 05:10 PM
–––––––– 30 JUNE 2022
cw: ---
intake:
rx vanilla almond bar
chimichurri cod
vadouvan sweet potato
cilantro lime cauliflower rice
waterloo watermelon
i'm fucking struggling.
i look and feel disgusting.
i want to will get back down to double digits.
i don't want to recover.
at least not now anyway.
xo
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#24
- Accountability access
- 2788 posts
whore extraordinaire
- LocationNYC
Posted Today, 05:03 PM
––––––––– 4 JULY 2022
cw: ---
intake:
iced matcha latte
green smoothie
avocado toast with egg
shrimp tacos on jicama wraps
chocolate fudge frozen greek yogurt bar
total: 650 calories – 76g carbs, 20g fat, 43g protein
consistently inconsistent. love that for me.
i'm trying my best to update daily but the days slip by me.
went to the pool this weekend and felt like an absolute whale.
didn't help either that i wore the skimpiest bikini set i own.
but hey, i did this to myself by attempting recover lol.
it's kinda killing me that my weight is unknown at the moment.
i mean, i could try to find where my partner hid the scale,
but it's probably for the best that my weight remains a mystery.
i tend to get discouraged and triggered when i weigh-in anyways.
not really following any diet or any sort of plans at the moment.
just trying my best to stick to 700 calories or under.
i still plan on increasing my calories to maintenance
when i reach my goal weight, and i will do it gradually.
i'm really tired of low/med restriction but it the only thing
that satisfies my instant gratification tendencies.
xo
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#52
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Warrior
- Location✿ in ur dreams ✿
Posted Today, 11:40 AM
Choco_Bitch_612, on 04 Jul 2022 - 12:45 AM, said:
♢
current weight: 196.8 (+0.2 for no reason aha)
lunch: griddle cake - 350 cals
snack: little potatoes, strawberries, orange - 134 cals
dinner: lean cuisine, peach - 400 cals
--
total: 2,000+/1,600
extra: popsicle (60), chco. vanilla ice cream bar(113), ,turtle french style cheesecake mousse(300), chipotle burrito, cereal marshmallows
exercise:
week goal:
month goal:
my appetite today was insane. just constant mouth-watery mind numbing cravings for no reason. i originally wanted to fast today but changed my mind before it even really begun. after lunch, i still had an appetite and ate some stuff but forced myself to stop. then at the little potatoes and fruit for snack and was literally craving food the whole 3 hours till dinner. but i held out and used the usual tactics to help get rid of my cravings. then i ate dinner and... u guessed it, was still being harassed with cravings so at that point i just caved. at one point i was heavily craving smth sweet and cookie-y like so i got that small cheesecake thing and ate it (texture was not what i wanted at all tho) then almost immediately after i got a craving for a burger but the one we have for for July 4th tmrw so i couldn't eat one, but instead of trying to ease my craving like a smart girl, i went to chipotle to get a burrito.. which again didn't rlly satisfy me bc i was craving a burger specifically, but it did stop the craving fully and officially stamped this as a horrible day...
so annoying. this always happens whenever i have a good streak, and my good streaks are like what? 2-3 days long? only for me to mess up like this, and i really wanted to succeed today. i was gonna take a break from eca for 3 days but i might go back on it either tmrw or the day after. i'm finally losing consistently and i can't afford to dance on the edge of the 200's again, I'm sick of this range. I might eat one grilled meal from our bbq and take it right after.
and sidenote, does anyone else ever get those strong cravings where they don't want to make it go away? like my brain strongly wants me to satisfy it with whatever i'm craving? or am I the only fat-ass that's like this?
Hello! You’re not the only one to have unstoppable cravings… Right now, after 2 days of fast, I’m SO HUNGRY I could eat anything. I want some oreo soo badly. I’m so sorry for you because I relate on everything you said. At least, be proud of yourself. It’s okay to have days like that and you managed to stop yourself when the hunger was gone! Good luck, you can do it!
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✿ A C C O U N T A B I L I T Y ✿
Height : 173 cm 🍉 5'8
CW : 51 kg 🍉 112 lbs
BMI : 17.04
GW : 48 kg 🍉 106 lbs
BMI : 16.04
UGW : 43 kg 🍉 95 lbs
BMI : 14.37
53 52 51 50 49 48 47 46 45 44 43
Accountability : https://www.myproana.com/index.php/topic/4386167-gw-in-1-month-july-6th-50-kg110-lbs-to-august-6th-43-kg95-lbs/
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