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Sage
- Locationhell
Posted Today, 10:36 AM
1/25/22
Ex-partner and I are supposed to have a talk before I have therapy today. We wanted to talk regardless, but I said it has to be some time before my therapy session so that if I go into crisis mode I will have professional support soon after. I am feeling numb and emotionless at the moment.
It seems I must be fairly dissociated, because I never forget to take my meds (and have two alarms set just in case) but somehow didn't take them Sunday evening. Monday morning I woke up feeling foggy, off-kilter, and had major brain zaps. I called my pharmacy and they instructed me to take half my regular dose in the morning and half in the evening just in case I had taken them the night before to avoid lamictal toxicity. I felt less bizarre about two hours after taking the half dose, so I presume I hadn't taken them. It would seem I must be experiencing strong dissociation.
I am very concerned because I feel absolutely nothing right now, not even affection towards the new bunnies. I am hoping this is due to my current emotional state and not because I made a hasty decision. No matter what I will take great care of them.
I did have to temporarily set up their habitat in my bathroom, as I was informed that they hop over fences very easily and my room is not fully bunny-proofed yet. I'm going to try to sort that today.
Saffron bun is very big indeed
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#255 
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- LocationCanuck 🍁
Posted Today, 12:49 PM
You are incredibly insightful and knowledgeable about your health issues and mental health experiences. It blows me away and gives me hope that I can make better decisions if I tap into my own insight. That was really wise to deal with your ex before you therapy session. You are undergoing so so so much right now - it much be scary and overwhelming. Are your parents there to support you?
I had a ‘meltdown morning’ as I call them when I couldn’t organize my thoughts and I started to panic and spiral down. Mum was in a meeting and all I could do was focus on my next task in my routine. I keep things very very simple on days like today (which are most days really when I am at this place health wise). I have a visual reminder of my schedule and alarms like you mentioned that remind me what to do and then I go through the motions knowing that doing so keeps me alive and here and able to hold on a little while longer while the help I know is coming is being prepared and that things will get better. It’s an ebb and flow and during the hardest times I either go for my preset walk with my headphones or I wrap myself up in my shop on my bed and listen to my book or read or write to people like you who I know understand.
I want you to know you can write to me anytime. My message box is always open. And my mum even offers her support to people I mention who mean a lot to me (I never use names or show her anything, I just talk about characteristics and I told her about a person I know who is getting bunnies and that made her smile). She likes to support other parents so I put that out there to you and anyone else who would like a mum to connect with - it helps her too.
I am so proud of you and also want to thank you for giving me hope and courage and inspiration every day. I was looking through your art yesterday and thinking about trying it.. I find art really intimidating but I did some more research into vent art and I think I could do that maybe?
Anyways, I really hope today gets better for you and if not that you are able to find ways to self soothe and stay safe.
I am here for you 🤗
I came, I saw, I tried to leave
but life just wasn’t done with me
So I waved hospice goodbye, took Ana’s hand in mine and begged
“Peace until the end?”
And with wry reply she sighed
“I’ll do my best my friend…”
So we live
side by side
Until it’s our turn to drift away
on the gentle tide
~Pax
“I meant to write about death, only life came breaking in as usual”
~Virginia Woolf
Accountability : https://www.myproana...reathe-i-hope”/
What is Harm Reduction (for Eating Disorders)?
https://jeatdisord.b...0306-3/tables/1[/url]
#256
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- 1122 posts
Sage
- Locationhell
#257
- Accountability access
- 1415 posts
Advanced Sage
- LocationCanuck 🍁
Posted Today, 06:51 PM
I believe in you ❤️
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I came, I saw, I tried to leave
but life just wasn’t done with me
So I waved hospice goodbye, took Ana’s hand in mine and begged
“Peace until the end?”
And with wry reply she sighed
“I’ll do my best my friend…”
So we live
side by side
Until it’s our turn to drift away
on the gentle tide
~Pax
“I meant to write about death, only life came breaking in as usual”
~Virginia Woolf
Accountability : https://www.myproana...reathe-i-hope”/
What is Harm Reduction (for Eating Disorders)?
https://jeatdisord.b...0306-3/tables/1[/url]
#258
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Omniscient
- LocationNYC, USA
Posted Today, 07:46 PM
aw the bunnies are so cute <3
Hope the following days are smoother for you and that bunny proofing your room will help take your mind off things a bit. I can tell from your posts you're doing your best given the circumstances, even though it's a tough time. I mean- you're pushing yourself to go out and settle real life matters- that's difficult to do even on a "normal" day! Proud of you for getting your responsibilities done and living life the best way you can right now.
I'm certain once the "fog" lifts you'll be able to feel a bond to them- you're clearly very compassionate and positive so they're in very good hands.
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