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Posted Yesterday, 05:51 AM
Day 1, Post 1
I expected to wake up feeling gross and drained, but I feel surprisingly okay. It seems it did help that I kept down a healthy meal and plenty of fluid after yesterday’s bingeing and purging. It is a good thing that I’m not feeling terrible, because I have a lot to get done today. I did virtually nothing aside from b/p-ing and watching television yesterday, so I have to catch up on some household tasks.
Regarding food, my diet isn’t going to be anything drastic today. I won’t be b/p-ing again, as I am truly going to try to quit. I won’t be trying to restrict much, either. I’ll probably eat around 1000 calories over the course of the day, and I will be having breakfast soon. I will be aiming for 10k steps today, and I know a decent portion of that will come effortlessly from doing various tasks in the house.
My weight is at 87.6 pounds this morning. I’m just documenting that here, becuase I know at some point I’ll be wondering what my weight was on January 1st of 2022. I don’t imagine I’ll lose much weight this year, and for the first time in a long time, weight loss isn’t one of my New Year goals. I’m addicted to restriction and calorie counting so I am likely to lose a little weight, but my current weight is acceptable as long as other areas in my life are improving.
I will be home alone for the majority of the day. Rather than using this time as an opportunity for self-destructive actions like I did yesterday, I want to utilize this time wisely and productively. Of course, I’ll not be busy all day and I’ll take time to relax, but I want to feel like I haven’t thrown the day away. Here are today’s five goals:
- Get through all the household tasks, including the ones I neglected yesterday.
- Have some form of human contact so I’m not fully isolated. Can be a phone call or even chatting online.
- Walk 10k steps. I’m trying to move away from my eating disorder some, but I can’t get rid of this goal just yet.
- Self-care and personal hygiene. I need to feel clean after all the b/p-ing yesterday.
- No extreme eating habits. No b/p and no extreme restriction.
I will be back later to review the above goals, and talk about my day.
Stats under spoiler:
Trying to survive alongside this disease, and hoping I will someday find my way out. I am not ready to recover, but I will not willingly succumb to my eating disorder.
The last time I purged: December 31, 2021 (longest success: 48 successful days without)
M y A c c o u n t a b i l i t y : https://www.myproana...hotos-included/
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