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Posted Yesterday, 09:49 PM
Oh wow we're kind of weight loss twins! I was ~18.5 bmi in September and got to ~17 in early Dec and have been maintaining around here FOREVER. I'm just an inch shorter than you so the pounds almost match up similarly. fingers crossed a woosh is coming soon for us!
Don't want to go too much into the past, but if you don't mind me asking about your relapse- do you think if you had stayed at BMI 18-19 you would have relapsed? or do you think it would have come eventually?
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Posted Today, 05:01 PM
Seal with a Meal, on 23 Jan 2022 - 9:49 PM, said:
Heyyy stat twin! 💖Oh wow we're kind of weight loss twins! I was ~18.5 bmi in September and got to ~17 in early Dec and have been maintaining around here FOREVER. I'm just an inch shorter than you so the pounds almost match up similarly. fingers crossed a woosh is coming soon for us!
Don't want to go too much into the past, but if you don't mind me asking about your relapse- do you think if you had stayed at BMI 18-19 you would have relapsed? or do you think it would have come eventually?
I don’t mind at all! Honestly I do think I would still be in recovery if I had continued to maintain in the 18’s. I may have arguably not been *fully* mentally recovered since I was easily triggered to relapse with a sudden change in weight, but for years I was at least in a place where I could accept my body at that size (even if I wasn’t completely happy with it) and eat intuitively without actively taking any measures to “control” my weight. Of course if I were a logical person, that would have meant stopping once I got back in the 18’s, but I knew once I got that far it would be impossible. I’m also not convinced I’d still be able to maintain there without some kind of element of restriction anyway. And if I still have to restrict… I may as well go all the way, I guess. Does this make any sense? Not at all, but nothing about this disorder really does. 🙃
Tbh I really miss recovery, being able to enjoy food, and not constantly thinking about weight and calories every time I put something in my mouth. My ED does fill a void though, in a way. It gives me purpose (or at least, the illusion of it.)
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