Friday, January 28, 2022

 

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    i was r*ped by my brother.. (heavy TW)

    csa venting sa replies appreciated abuse self harm ed

    12 replies to this topic

    #1 unrelentingfox

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    Posted Yesterday, 05:15 PM

    first off, i talked a lot about this on mypancakeaddiction but they decided to ban me. so im just gonna have to summarize everything i have said from my posts there so everyone here can be up to date, since im gonna be using this thread as a diary. MAJOR TW FOR EVERYTHING AFTER THIS POINT.

     

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    i stayed with my brother for a weekend last year and one night he had his friends over. we were partying and the next morning i woke up half dressed on his couch. after days of crying and not knowing what actually happened, my brother finally admitted he was the one who r*ped me (and tried to justify it since apparently, i'm his type, an anorexic japanese girl.) he tried blaming it on his friend K first, but i saw through that. 

     

    he would go on for months harassing me and hurting me again every chance he got. he even went as far as to create multiple fake instagram accounts to message and harass me on once i cut irl contact with him. i told my parents about the abuse and my mother told me to keep quiet but my dad turned even more abusive. he went from just verbal abuse to physical. so i ran away to stay with a friend, but i couldnt even escape the abuse there, her dad made me super uncomfortable. while he never actually hurt me, i didnt feel safe around him.

     

    one night while staying with my friend, i cut myself a little too deep and was rushed to the ER. my dad had to pick me up and once we got home he sexually assaulted me. i was stuck dealing with his abuse for a few more months until i got the courage to run away again. this time i chose to stay with an older cousin who didnt question anything. he was very understanding about the fact i wasnt ready to tell him whats been going on yet. i was doing online schooling anyway too so it didnt matter where i was. 

     

    on thanksgiving my cousin finally figured out what happened to me and he was pissed. he beat the fucking shit out of my brother and i felt a little unsafe around him but continued to live with him. after that point he installed cameras at his front and back door for me, and asked his friend (or sometimes gf) to check up on me daily while he was busy or at work. 

     

    one night while he was at work my brother showed up and somehow got inside the house. he r*ped me. i told my cousin what happened when he got home and he urged me to report it. i couldnt though it hurt too much to talk about. i only ended up reporting him when i was contacted on instagram by a fake account sending me pics/videos of myself. turns out when i was staying with my brother he had a cam set up in the room that i just didnt see. 

     

    so i screenshotted everything and my cousin brought me to the police station where i reported my brother. it took a little bit but they finally arrested him. he still hasnt gone to court yet but that's coming up very soon. while that's happening, my cousin is going through the legal process of becoming my legal guardian. so it's almost the end of my fuckin traumatic experiences, but i still need a place to document everything.

     

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    some things i didnt mention above but may come up:

    -my brother got me pregnant and i suffered a miscarriage, most likely due to the stress of everything going on

    -K contacted me on insta a few days ago and blamed me for what my brother did, and then apologized the next day and attempted to groom me and luckily i told my cousin who then took my phone and blocked him

    -my brother infiltrated my mental health discord server and gained the trust of the members, i didnt know he was in it until it was too late 

    -my so called discord friends have been harassing me and saying awful things about my situation and telling me to kms (they really idolized my brother ig)

    -my cousin asked to see the pics/videos of myself that i was sent, and i feel kinda awkward around him sometimes

    -my brother is almost 20 while i am 14..

    -turns out my brother sexually abused me even when we were young, it started when i was 5 

     

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    that's pretty much all that has happened surrounding this situation. it happened over the course of a year so the timeline is a little weird. but it's almost over and soon i'll be free from all his abuse :) then maybe everything else will get better, my ED included. 

     

    when/if something else happens i will make an update to this thread.


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