bony ballerina

Member Since 22 Mar 2016
OFFLINE Last Active Dec 06 2021 02:48 PM

back once againUpdated 28 Oct · 0 comments

About Me

current personal goal: weigh 105 or less by the time i come back to LA after winter break

i'm lily. currently being majorly fucked my body and brain & have been for the last 8 years or so. i do ballet and write and read and i'm really into film so if you want to talk about any of that pm me ☮

important note: while i'm not in recovery myself and don't want to be, i am 100% pro recovery and think everyone deserves a healthy body and mind. i'm willing to offer support to anyone who needs it, but that being said, please don't ask for tips. i'm not interested in being pro-ana and/or helping anyone become more ill !!!!

height: 5ft 5.5in

HW: 133 lbs | BMI: 21.8

CW: 125 lbs | BMI: 20.5

LW: 81 lbs | BMI: 14.3 (i was shorter)

UGW: 85 lbs | BMI: 14.1

Community Stats

GroupAccountability access
Active Posts3846
Profile Views6225
Member TitleOmniscient
AgeAge Unknown
BirthdayMay 17
Gender
Female
Location
los angeles
Interests
i quite like to talk about myself so this will be a long one...if you share any of these interests feel free to pm me to obsess together !!

music: harry styles, mitski, phoebe bridgers, elliott smith, lana, the smiths, taylor swift, frank ocean, the velvet underground

hobbies: FILM <3, ballet, writing, photography, drinking, sketching (though i'm not very good), baking, drugs

books: the bell jar, conversations with friends, my year of rest and relaxation, all the bright places, when you reach me, the perks of being a wallflower

movies: lady bird, ginger snaps, the royal tenenbaums, call me by your name, girl interrupted, heathers, scott pilgrim vs the world

tv shows: hannibal, arrested development, succession, it's always sunny, euphoria, skam, shameless, skins

celebz: kristen stewart, hugh dancy, mads mikkelsen, timothee chalamet, rami malek, one direction boys lmao

2234Outstanding

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Drugs&ANA halpb what do

Started by dietofcigarettes, Oct 13 2017 08:50 PM

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#1 dietofcigarettes

Advanced Warrior

Members
425 posts

LocationUnited States

Posted 13 October 2017 - 08:50 PM

Fell off the wagon hard with both. Been taking 80mg of Adderall a day, fuckin myself up on Ambien and Xanax and booze. I had a heroin problem. Now I got some perks in my pocket. Drugs make my lose weight so damn fast. 10lbs in a week? Hell yeah. I weigh about 135 now and I'm 5'3 if I didn't have hyperextension syndrome. I usually stand at 5'2.
ANYWAY
Back to the perks... I love opiates. They're just sitting there screaming my name. And I remember being 88lbs on heroin. The weight loss and the high are irresistible. 95% chance I'll bang it or snort it even though doing that has the potential to ruin my life as if anorexia doesn't ruin it enough already. I'm sick of hurting every person around me while they watch be starve and nearly die on a weekly basis cuz I went to far with some drug. I know having perks in my room right next to me is gonna be a down fall. My life could very easily be destroyed if I take them. I know I probably will but please, try to give be some support and talk me out of this.
I've been on an amphetamine binge for 2 months and went from 160 to 135.
I love drugs. I love being skeletole. But I gain weight without the drugs.
I'm sorry I'm very confused on what to do right now.
Pills in my hand and shaking. Haven't eaten in 24 hours.
I know it sounds so petty to ask but please give me some support that I can get though this
I don't want to lose everything but I'm literally on the edge of that happening.

Like This

Height: 5 foot 3 inches
HW: 189lbs
LW: 88lbs
CW: 150lbs
UGW: 75lbs
****
Diagnosed with anorexia, bi polar, psychosis and PTSD. Professionals say I have paranoid schizophrenia but I'm waiting on an official diagnosis. I struggle with substance abuse and self harm as well.
I have severe delusions and can't express myself or communicate well.
Despite my disabilitiies and struggles I try to be as kind and compassionate as possible!