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Skelise is shrinking (SW: 129, CW: 123.0, GW: <115)
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Posted 07 October 2018 - 04:58 PM
Introduction - Day 0 [10/7/19]
Here we go again:
It really is embarrassing at this point how many of these I've started and abandoned.. but I haven't felt like myself in a very long time and I'm desperate to figure out a way to get back to where I was. As sad as this is, losing weight is probably the only thing that has ever made me feel proud of myself. (I realize title of this accountability is quite presumptuous, especially given that I am me and I've failed so many times to get back on the losing bandwagon in the past few years, but maybe framing things in "this will happen" kind of way as opposed to "i'm going to try to make this happen" is a useful mental exercise. Maybe.)
A boring backstory:
I realized I wanted to lose weight after my first semester of freshman year in college. I lost weight, gained it back, and sophomore spring I really pushed myself to lose as much as possible. That summer (2015 was great) I was finally thin-ish end of November 2015. It lasted probably about 4 or 5 months, until I gained a ton of weight back due to class stress. I met a boy that fucked up my life in a lot of ways--emotionally abusing me and manipulating me in many ways--but it was too difficult for me to break it off. Ever since then, I've been a mess. Hovering somewhere between 125 and 135--reaching the lower side and somehow ballooning back up. Never really fully committing and making this a priority in my life, despite the fact that I've been tortured by negative thoughts about my body/fat face for so long. I am 5'10". My heaviest known weight was 157 lbs. My lowest was 111.
Since May 2016 or so, I've been drinking a lot, having a lot of stupid sex due to loneliness, and I've kinda lost my way in terms of what I want out of my life in general. It's hard to believe it's been over 2 years. It feels like I've done a whole lot of nothing. I graduated undergrad (barely), got a decent job (that I'm not super good at), and I've had a slew of existential crises and bad relationship experiences. I am currently dating a guy I honestly don't believe I can see myself with long term, but staying with him because it's more comfortable than being lonely (but who knows.. maybe losing weight will give me a new outlook on these things) On the plus side, though, I have 2 great roommates and a wonderful kitten named Olive. I live in a great city and I'm 23 years old and sometimes things can seem pretty bright.
I'm still not entirely sure what I want out of my life, but I do know I want to be skinny. That is one thing I am absolutely sure of. It is something I think about nearly every day, but I haven't put a true effort forward in a long fucking time.
Some more about me (TMI):
I have pretty bad IBS (chronic constipation since I was very little) I also can't burp so I accumulate a lot of gas when I eat that can sometimes end up being very painful. Both of these things really suck and it makes me even more motivated to lose weight--I don't want to feel sluggish and icky every day.
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Some rules (even though I am bad at following them):
- count every calorie possible and stay under 7000 per week.
- weigh every day!! (and log here every day!! - even if it's just a placeholder post)
- take my magnesium pills daily so I can poop
- drink more water than la croix (I retain water like a mofo and bubbly drinks are no good for my no-burp gassy self)
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My hope is to lose roughly 5 lbs a month, and like the title says, get to about 115 by the New Year. As far as whether this is my ultimate goal goes... I'm undecided. I liked how I looked at 110-115, and I guess maintaining would be good. After that, I would like to focus on going to the gym and strength training.
Stats:
SW: 129.0 (10/7/18)
LW: 115.8 (4/26/19) (-13.2 lbs) (28 weeks, so roughly 0.47 lbs per week
)CW: 123.0 (10/21/19) (fuck)
GW1: 124.8 (11/4/18)
GW2: 119.8 (2/13/19) (long overdue)
GW3: 114.8
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UPDATE 2/13/19: finally changing the title of this thread since I clearly missed my goal (new years). I will also change the title of my post again once I'm confident I can actually get to 115 and I feel comfortable having 110 or 105 as my goal. That feels a ways away though.
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UPDATE 3/21/19: hid all my bullshit behind a spoiler. here's my most recent progress picture. losing at a snails pace.
LEFT: 129-130 lbs (7/25/18)
RIGHT: 119ish lbs (3/21/19)
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UPDATE 4/26/19: most recent pics here
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UPDATE 10/21/19 *year later*: I gained over the summer. I'm at 123 lbs and it sucks. Trying to get back to where I was ASAP.
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Posted 27 April 2019 - 05:51 AM
116.4 today
yesterday's intake: ~1465? i fucked up during dinner 
my boyfriend's 2nd grandma just died yesterday (his first one died only 2 weeks ago) and i went over to his place to try and comfort him. ended up waiting at his apartment alone for a few hours while he went to dinner with his sister/cousin (didn't want to intrude for obvious reasons)
while i was there i ended up eating out of boredom (quiche and an AWFUL cookie which i still inhaled entirely)
a bit disappointed but i thought the rest of my day was good, so whatever.
right now i'm sipping on a soy misto (80). i ate the second half of the kind oats & honey bar (75) and one more turkey meatball (50). so my breakfast is 205 cals.
i might go in to work today since i did absolutely nothing while working from home yesterday. it's depressing working on the weekends but honestly... i need to do something to pass the time.
i'm still shocked i hit 115.8 yesterday (albeit very short lived). i might go out tonight because i have my joint birthday with my roommate coming up and if we go out together i might get to get to know better some of the people that will be attending said birthday party on her side.
i feel a bit icky, but not sure how to fix it. i felt like i was going to faint in the shower. i also am so self conscious about having sex with my boyfriend in the mornings. i'm so self conscious about how gross my vagina is and how gross i am because i feel like this is the first time i've really dated someone who is significantly less gross than i am (always well groomed and generally very anal about cleanliness) i feel like a slob.
anyway, here are some progress pics (will prob delete later):
as is obvious, my outer thighs are still a huge problem area. i suspect this is because my flabby ass rests on my thighs because there's no muscle to keep it perky, and the fat distributes in such a way that makes my hips look awful. i need to work on my muscle tone, but not sure how to do it honestly. i'm embarrassed to try things at the gym. maybe i'll scour the fitness forums here and ask.
#103
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Posted 27 April 2019 - 07:54 AM
skelise, on 27 Apr 2019 - 05:51 AM, said:
Omg your body is beautiful. I have a wode bone structure and i hate it but yours is so delicate and petite. Ughh im jelly116.4 today
yesterday's intake: ~1465? i fucked up during dinner
my boyfriend's 2nd grandma just died yesterday (his first one died only 2 weeks ago) and i went over to his place to try and comfort him. ended up waiting at his apartment alone for a few hours while he went to dinner with his sister/cousin (didn't want to intrude for obvious reasons)
while i was there i ended up eating out of boredom (quiche and an AWFUL cookie which i still inhaled entirely)
a bit disappointed but i thought the rest of my day was good, so whatever.
right now i'm sipping on a soy misto (80). i ate the second half of the kind oats & honey bar (75) and one more turkey meatball (50). so my breakfast is 205 cals.
i might go in to work today since i did absolutely nothing while working from home yesterday. it's depressing working on the weekends but honestly... i need to do something to pass the time.
i'm still shocked i hit 115.8 yesterday (albeit very short lived). i might go out tonight because i have my joint birthday with my roommate coming up and if we go out together i might get to get to know better some of the people that will be attending said birthday party on her side.
i feel a bit icky, but not sure how to fix it. i felt like i was going to faint in the shower. i also am so self conscious about having sex with my boyfriend in the mornings. i'm so self conscious about how gross my vagina is and how gross i am because i feel like this is the first time i've really dated someone who is significantly less gross than i am (always well groomed and generally very anal about cleanliness) i feel like a slob.
anyway, here are some progress pics (will prob delete later):Spoiler
as is obvious, my outer thighs are still a huge problem area. i suspect this is because my flabby ass rests on my thighs because there's no muscle to keep it perky, and the fat distributes in such a way that makes my hips look awful. i need to work on my muscle tone, but not sure how to do it honestly. i'm embarrassed to try things at the gym. maybe i'll scour the fitness forums here and ask.
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Posted 29 April 2019 - 04:39 PM
kthinning, on 27 Apr 2019 - 06:45 AM, said:
You are goals!!!
Lynzeyfaye, on 27 Apr 2019 - 07:54 AM, said:
Omg your body is beautiful. I have a wode bone structure and i hate it but yours is so delicate and petite. Ughh im jelly
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thanks guys
not sure I have ever considered myself anywhere near delicate or petite but it’s nice to know how others see meSent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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#105
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Posted 29 April 2019 - 04:43 PM
Idk, I’m not feeling to great. I also ate way too much today (need to add up the cals still but prob around 1600)
I want to go to the gym right now but I’m so so tired and really struggling to get myself there. I’ve been averaging <6 hrs of sleep for a long time and I think that’s why I feel so bad.
Definitely going to go to the gym tonight. I think I’ll feel really bad if I don’t.
My birthday party is on fri and my bf wants to take me out to dinner for my actual birthday (Thursday May 2) but I’m really dreading all of this right now. I need to figure out what I’m going to wear and also try to get a lot of work done this week and also hopefully lose some weight
Idk why I don’t have it in me to restrict harder right now. I’m so bingey at work every day.
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#106
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Posted 07 May 2019 - 04:44 PM
The scale is reading 121.0 (at night) which is awful.
I haven’t had a proper poop so I think I’m still holding onto a lot of food weight, but I feel disgusting and horrible about myself.
Going to clean a bit and go to the gym but have a lot to write about the past few days (most notably how I cried when my boyfriend told me that his mom/cousins commented on how much I eat — ie that I eat a lot :/)
Anyway, this is terrible and I need to fix it. Saturday night is the next party/dinner so have to be careful and track all my calories the rest of this week (I did a decent job today). I’m also still sick from a cold (again) and really need to recover. I booked a personal training session for Thursday bc I get a free one for my bday. I have to buy a dress for a wedding soon and I’m super worried about how I’m going to look in that. Anyway, on to the relevant stuff:
Intake:
B (350)
Granola cereal + 1 cup 1% milk (350)
L (160)
2 string cheese (160)
Matcha latte w oat milk (180?)
D (0)
-
S (480)
2 Swedish fish (44)
3 Hershey’s kisses (88)
1.5 blueberry vanilla cashew kind bar (270)
Guacamole dip (100)
Total: 1170
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#107
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Posted 08 May 2019 - 03:35 AM
Went to bed earlier than usual but still think I only got like 6.5 hours of sleep
Woke up in the middle of the night and ate a string cheese and kind bar.
Going to shower and walk to work soon maybe. Or maybe I can try to fall asleep for longer? Idk, probably the former. I’m so cold and tired
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#108
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Posted 08 May 2019 - 09:51 PM
I weighed in at 119.4 tonight after eating about 1400(?) ish calories today (I know... I suck. I will post intake along with tomorrow’s because I’m a lazy pos rn)
But also was 119.0 before I left for work today (I ended up falling back asleep for a few hours and being egregiously late to work as usual)
Anyway, the bloat weight is slowly coming off. I posted some Instagram photos and they aren’t getting that many likes and I’m feeling self conscious lol. My one goal is to post a hot bikini pic this summer. I have to be around 110 lbs when I do it I think. Or at least 115 and TONED.
I have my free session w a personal trainer tmrw at 6:30. I might cancel idk.
There’s a lot of random stuff going on in my life right now. I’m thinking about switching teams at work, I’m still not thrilled about moving and my new apartment situation, I feel like I don’t have as many friends as I’d like, I’m not sure what I’m doing about my future, and I’m worried that my relationship is getting too serious too quickly. Also my cat bites and I’m not sure how to fix that..
I realized my weight loss stagnated bc I’m in this relationship. It’s not so much that we’re eating out a ton (otherwise I would be gaining like I was with Z), but more that I have a harder time eating my safe foods when hanging out with him, don’t have time to go to the gym to walk off my cals, etc
My sleep issues are so bad. I know I’m rambling right now but it’s nearly 2am and I just don’t know what to do. I want to be able to fall asleep at midnight or at least before 1 so badly...
I just feel so ugly and fat lately. I want to lose weight so I can buy some cute new clothes and so that I can feel better about socializing w people and drinking. I also want to know what I’m doing with my life and which direction I’m going in.
I’m hungry. I might eat a string cheese that I have in my tote (at my bf’s rn). I also might watch tv until I’m tired enough to fall asleep. Ugh I hate life rn
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#109
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Posted 13 May 2019 - 07:11 PM
I have so much to write but I’m so tired right now.
I will weigh in tomorrow but I’m guessing I’ll still be in the 118-119 range :/
My room is a disaster and I need to clean it but I’m so tired and I’m in such a rut for some reason and I just feel like I can’t get out of it. It’s also been raining here and I’ve just been freezing and it’s been really affecting my mood. Had a weird fight(?) with my boyfriend and that sucked. I’m just really annoyed at my life right now for some reason. Really want a snack but I’ll try to resist (maybe I’ll actually clean my room so as to distract myself from that)
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#110
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Posted 14 May 2019 - 07:20 AM
Idk, shits just been really hard. I can’t even find my computer charger to actually “work from home”
My cat is doing a cute thing right now where she’s lying on my chest, but I have to get up and actually start getting ready ;_;
I’m just so unmotivated and sad. I need this weight loss. It’s motivating at least. Whenever I’m losing weight, I’m more motivated in other areas of my life too. I need to get back at it again pronto. I was so close!
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#111
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Posted 14 May 2019 - 06:42 PM
really weird day today.
i unloaded a bunch of stuff on my boyfriend about how depressed i'm feeling and i really wish i hadn't.
i finally cleaned my room (ish) today and i'm going to take my laundry to the laundromat tmrw. i'm feeling SO tired and so cold. i ate a lot today (didn't count) and weighed in at like 119.6.
i really hate myself.
i've been saying how i need to get back on the weight loss wagon for months now and I've just been gaining. i think my true weight is around 118.6 or so.
i still have like 10 lbs to lose to get to my UGW. it feels so fucking impossible right now...
i know i just have to push myself really hard but the rainy weather and fatigue are making it so tough. i wish i could just sleep more so that i wouldn't have as much time to eat. i might actually try to fall asleep before midnight tonight since i really want to be able to get up in the morning and have a productive day.
the weather tomorrow shouldn't be so bad. at least it's not raining. i have a wedding to go to this weekend, but should be easy enough to fast before then. copenhagen trip is coming up and that should be lots of walking and i don't eat that much when i'm with my boyfriend so maybe i'll be able to maintain my weight. i can lose 2 lbs in 10 days.. right? i should be able to get back to 117 at least before i leave for my trip. (i say this as i'm waiting for a quesadilla delivery i've ordered)
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Posted 20 May 2019 - 04:48 PM
Had a weekend of sooo much drinking and eating
(went to a wedding)My dress was a disaster and everything was very awkward but I got one good (Facetuned) photo out of it.
Anyway...
I still hate my body and I still feel fat. I’m stressed out about everything and kinda just want to go to the gym instead of hanging out with my bf and potentially eating, but I also don’t want to put a strain on our relationship. Balance is hard.
We’re going to Copenhagen on Friday night and though it should be fun, I’m terrified of the weight gain and also having to poop in the same hotel room as my bf. I’m going to make sure we walk a shit ton and don’t eat that much, and maybe I’ll even come back a lb lighter? Idk a girl can dream
Today’s intake has been about 950 calories (maybe 1000)
I walked for like 2 hours after work but wasn’t wearing my Fitbit and I’m super bummed about that. Hate it when my steps don’t count
Ok anyway I feel extremely fat and I’m going to try my best to lose some weight this week. If I can be 118 before Friday I’ll be ok. It should be doable w a lot of water consumption and sufficient self-hatred
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Posted 21 May 2019 - 10:03 PM
Though I do wish I had some McDonald’s fries rn. Not worth it :/
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Posted 22 May 2019 - 07:52 PM
118.0 after going to the gym today.
Had about 1450 calories today (not sure exactly how many) but did 5 miles at the gym and walked around a lot prior to that (20k steps today)
I'm not happy about my intake.. I really should be staying around 1000. Tomorrow I will try harder. I have a shit ton to do tomorrow, though. Packing for my trip and whatnot. I just ate some welch's fruit snacks (80 cals) which I will count for tomorrow.
I'm in a weird place again. I'm worried about having no friends. I don't want to be in a place in 5 years where I'm getting married and have no one to invite to my wedding/no bridesmaids/etc. That would make me incredibly sad. My biggest regret is still not having joined a sorority and not being more social in college. I know not having friends mostly bothers me because other people in my life have loads of friends and probably judge me for not having many. I just feel like a failure in the social part of my life, and I don't know exactly how to fix it. There are so many things I'm trying to work on personally and professionally and I just don't know how to prioritize things.
I'm also worried about how my boyfriend is affecting my social life. He's 34 (about to be 35) and I'm 24 and I spend so much time with him now. It worries me. I need to keep prioritizing my own things and planning things with friends that don't necessarily include him.
Anyway this is all tangential to the task at hand: losing weight. I'm glad to see 118 on the scale but it's really not good enough. I'm so late meeting my goal of 115. I got so close briefly. I guess I still am pretty close. I'm going to Copenhagen on Friday and I hope I get to walk around a ton and maybe lose a tiny bit of weight while I'm there.
My new goal is to be 110 by the end of July. 115 by mid June, hopefully.. but my biggest goal is to figure out wtf I'm doing with my life. And figure out what's going to make me happy. Because I'm really not sure what I'm doing right now at all.
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Posted 05 June 2019 - 07:59 AM
updates?
skelise, on 22 May 2019 - 7:52 PM, said:
118.0 after going to the gym today.
Had about 1450 calories today (not sure exactly how many) but did 5 miles at the gym and walked around a lot prior to that (20k steps today)
I'm not happy about my intake.. I really should be staying around 1000. Tomorrow I will try harder. I have a shit ton to do tomorrow, though. Packing for my trip and whatnot. I just ate some welch's fruit snacks (80 cals) which I will count for tomorrow.
I'm in a weird place again. I'm worried about having no friends. I don't want to be in a place in 5 years where I'm getting married and have no one to invite to my wedding/no bridesmaids/etc. That would make me incredibly sad. My biggest regret is still not having joined a sorority and not being more social in college. I know not having friends mostly bothers me because other people in my life have loads of friends and probably judge me for not having many. I just feel like a failure in the social part of my life, and I don't know exactly how to fix it. There are so many things I'm trying to work on personally and professionally and I just don't know how to prioritize things.
I'm also worried about how my boyfriend is affecting my social life. He's 34 (about to be 35) and I'm 24 and I spend so much time with him now. It worries me. I need to keep prioritizing my own things and planning things with friends that don't necessarily include him.
Anyway this is all tangential to the task at hand: losing weight. I'm glad to see 118 on the scale but it's really not good enough. I'm so late meeting my goal of 115. I got so close briefly. I guess I still am pretty close. I'm going to Copenhagen on Friday and I hope I get to walk around a ton and maybe lose a tiny bit of weight while I'm there.
My new goal is to be 110 by the end of July. 115 by mid June, hopefully.. but my biggest goal is to figure out wtf I'm doing with my life. And figure out what's going to make me happy. Because I'm really not sure what I'm doing right now at all.
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Posted 06 June 2019 - 12:19 AM
kthinning, on 05 Jun 2019 - 07:59 AM, said:
updates?
I’m so sorry I haven’t been active. Quite frankly I’ve been doing really badly and bingeing since I’ve been on vacation/since I’ve moved. I’m terrified of weighing myself but I know I need to if I want to get back on track. I feel like absolute crap.
I’ll weigh in tmrw
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Posted 12 June 2019 - 10:19 PM
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Posted 14 June 2019 - 09:29 PM
Haven’t been the best lately but have also been weirdly stressed/extremely sleep deprived. I will write more about everything that’s going on in my life tomorrow while I’m lying by the pool (going to the hamptons)
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Posted 01 July 2019 - 05:38 PM
Back again but this time legitimately fat.
121.6 is my last weigh in (yesterday)
Had 1100 cals today and walked 20k steps, so hopefully that will remedy it.
I would write more but I’m just sad/upset rn and want to make sure I update this in the most low effort way possible.
Will post weigh in tmrw morning
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Posted 02 July 2019 - 07:10 PM
Lots of walking today.
1000 cals.
I feel like shit. Really sad. I feel like I look horrible in all my clothes and my butt looks so so bad.
I hate that I have to go to cape cod w my bf and his family this weekend. Really dreading it.
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Skelise is shrinking (SW: 129, CW: 123.0, GW: <115)
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Posted 01 February 2021 - 06:01 AM
1/29: 121.4
1/30: 120.6
1/31: 120.2
2/1: 120.4
Well would you look at that. It’s that time of year again where I get back down to 120 after gaining weight over the summer lol. 3rd year in a row.
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Posted 01 February 2021 - 06:18 AM
It’s snowing today and it’s really pretty outside.
My cat knocked over a plant that I thought I’d adequately obstructed and shattered the planter and soil spilled all over the new living room rug. Spent the morning picking all that up with my bf.
I feel weird. I hate that I’m 26 in May and still don’t know what I really want to do with my life. I want to go back to school for my MBA. I want to read more. I want to be happy with my body while I’m still young. I don’t want to get too deep into thinking about my life right now though. It’s only 9am.
I don’t see myself going to the gym today in this snow storm, so I’ll try to keep it down to 1000 cals. I have some salmon in the freezer that I’ll make for dinner.
My goal for Feb is to lose 5 lbs (115-116) by eating a net of 1000 calories a day. I know that’s kind of rich coming from me given the history of this thread, but setting my sights higher can work better for me sometimes.
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Posted 01 February 2021 - 10:30 PM
I overate today and I was so tired that I was barely been functional. It’s 1:27 am though, and I’m just stressed about life and work and getting to a place where I’m happy with my body. I’m upset that I didn’t stick to my plan today and now I’m anxious about getting enough sleep to not go over my cals for tomorrow. Might take the morning off of work and just try to sleep my negative feelings off. I’m definitely lower mood when I don’t get enough sleep
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#265
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Posted 03 February 2021 - 07:26 AM
On my period now so I think my puffiness has a little to do with that. I wish I could restrict more. I’m on vyvanse FFS and I juul constantly. (Need to quit this, tired of spending a shit ton of money on pods)
I really want to get below 120 by the end of this week.
I’ve been doing this thing where I carry over calories onto the next day but I’m going to try to stop doing that and stop randomly snacking and actually eat full meals for lunch and dinner, starting with dinner tonight.
Went to the gym last night for half an hour, might go during lunch today since I have no meetings today. I really don’t feel like it though.
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Posted 05 February 2021 - 07:21 AM
120.8 today
Went to the gym both days for about an hour.
Frustrated that I’m not seeing lower numbers when I’ve stayed around 1200. I know 1200 isn’t that low for someone who is REALLY sedentary these days and I haven’t had a proper BM lately but I’m just impatient.
On this exact day last year I was like 120.2 and the 119.8 came on 2/9, followed by a whole February in the 118-120 range (and 117.6 on 2/29)
I maintained this range throughout April more or less and then started gaining in May (as usual)
Given that historically I’ve been prone to gaining in May, would be great if I could start losing faster to give myself some leeway. Like if I could just get to a solid 117 by the end of Feb that’d be great.
It really shouldn’t be this hard to lose rn ugh. My BMI is like 17.3...
Anyway yesterday was a shit day bc my credit score went down like 80 points because I was stupid last month and put a Celine and YSL bag on my credit card and i just feel like an idiot. I paid it off no prob but I was being stupid and hit my limit I think
I spent like an hour hating myself for being such an idiot and constantly bringing my credit score down for no good reason. It went from like 750 to 630 UGH. I spent a year+ being pretty good about things and building up my credit.Why are credit cards so fucking confusing. Maybe it’s just Bank of America that’s confusing or I just don’t want to take the time to figure out how exactly I’m supposed to manage it. Idk why basic things are so difficult for me and why I keep messing things up from momentary lapses in judgement.
Ugh whatever no use in dwelling on it. Fuck
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Posted 06 February 2021 - 11:49 AM
My patulous Eustachian tube makes me so upset. I wish so much that exercise didn’t trigger it. Currently lying down until it passes, but need to shower so it’ll prob come back when I go do that :/
Glad to see a number under 120 for the first time in a long time but not that excited about it since the I’ll prob be higher again tomorrow.
I feel really ugly. I hate my hips and legs so much
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Posted 06 February 2021 - 11:58 AM
skelise, on 14 Mar 2020 - 10:29 AM, said:
I have been weirdly anxious and stressed these past few days because I was sick (with a cold!! Not coronavirus) ...
just finishing some work I’ve been unable to do all week due to being sick. I am still pretty lethargic but I think that largely has to do with the fact that I’ve spent so much time in the apartment. I might go for a bit of a walk at some point today, too. I just really want to knock out a substantial amount of work, though.
LOL at this post. I definitely had Covid. My roommate ended up testing positive a week after this post, and my bf ended up having antibodies. I’ve been exposed to it several times now but haven’t gotten it. Just amusing how i was so convinced I didn’t have it (bc no fever)
#269
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Posted 07 February 2021 - 10:42 AM
(after gym)
Saw a personal trainer today lmao. Not sure why I did that. Apparently have a lot of pressure on my right sciatic nerve so that’s good to know I suppose.
I ate a lot yesterday (still have to count it up and just going to tack it onto today’s cals even tho I said I wouldn’t do that)
I don’t know why I don’t feel good or excited about losing weight finally. I guess because this whole thing is just too familiar to me. I’ll be happier when I get to 116 I think. Just wish I could get there sooner somehow.
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#271
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#272
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Posted 12 February 2021 - 05:11 AM
120.6
120.6
119.2
119.0
Kinda don’t understand how but yay? Still not actually like I lost much this week but I’m happy about being under 120.
I had something like 1400 cals yesterday.
Going to try to be better today. Hoping I see 118.0 by the end of next week.
God accutane kills my back so much. It’s awful
I also am getting much weirder acne now. Like bigger more painful acne which is worrisome
#273
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Posted 16 February 2021 - 05:01 AM
120.2
120.8 today but I’m having stomach pains so that must mean I need to poop
Had a bingey weekend... probably average of 1500-1600 a day. I only counted like 1380 a day but I think there’s some extra in there that I didn’t account for. not having my mango juul pods makes things worse. I hate being dependent on these things. I went to the gym Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, but mostly wasted my weekend being lazy.
It’s 8 am right now. I’m still tired but I can’t go back to sleep. I’m wondering if I should go to the gym right now to get it over with but I also think I should try to prioritize studying for the GMAT. Would be good to just start doing an hour in the mornings and an hour at night.
Anyway, I need to have a better eating day today. I just don’t know how not to snack. Trying to not eat until 1 pm or so was working well for me before but I stopped after it got hard. I hate myself for constantly making promises to myself that I can’t keep. I’m ALWAYS thinking about what I should be doing instead of actually doing it.
#274
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Posted 21 February 2021 - 09:23 PM
Not sure what I weigh today but will weigh in the morning.
It’s been a weird few days
I worked through this weekend but didn’t get a lot of useful stuff done. Still, I feel ok about my eating at least.
I had a box of cheezits and a sushi roll and some peanut butter puffs and some Hershey’s kisses over the last 2 days. Need to add up the cals but I think it comes out to about 1000 a day.
I was 118.8 earlier this week but checked after I had a higher calorie day and was 120. Hopefully I’ll be lighter tomorrow?
I feel drained from staring at my computer screen and doing work all day. I think I might go take a quick walk to the store and get myself a treat because I’ve felt sort of rough the past few days.
My bf is skiing so I’m alone in the apt for 10 days so I think that’s been making me feel weird too.
Ok, fingers crossed my weigh in is decent tomorrow. Hopefully I can write something more coherent too
#275
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Posted 28 February 2021 - 07:22 AM
2/23 - 119.6
2/24 - 118.8
2/25 - 118.0
2/26 - 118.4
2/27 - don’t remember but something like 119?
2/28 - 118.8
Bleh I’m definitely eating very close to maintenance even though I feel like I’m not eating that much. I was excited about the 118 a few days ago but just shot back up lol. I haven’t had a proper BM in a bit as far as I can remember so hopefully I’ll be back down soon.
I almost ordered candy last night and then stopped myself and was luckily tired enough to go to sleep so I just did that.
Might see my old roommate today. Haven’t had any social interaction in a while.
#276
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Posted 03 March 2021 - 11:22 PM
I’ve had a ton of work and it’s been amazing for once since I actually know how to do it all. Haven’t been eating bc of it. It feels so good.
Unfortunately going to Miami on Friday. The work won’t stop though so hopefully that will keep my appetite down.
