I'm in a very bad place - TW
#1 
Posted Today, 08:44 AM
I took a lot of pills few days ago, Almost died tbh. I was in the hosapital and I'm on Psychiatric hospitalization. My ed got really bad, I have lost 20 Kg in no time by eating only 200 calories per day. I started at a high bmi so i'm in normal range now, not underwight. and yet... they say that this extreme diet made my mental state so bad, and that my brain need food if I want to feel better. and I do. but i'm afraid to gain back al the wight I've lost. The food in here is DISGUSTING, I don't know how much calories are in this cooked food, how much oils. I can't weigh myself and it's making me CRAZT. this shit is so scary, I feel like I could eat more at home, when I have my scale and control over the food I eat. But everyone say I need to stay here cause Im dangours to myself, they say im like another person and to regular me. I dont know what the fuck to do. I want to feel better but im afraid that if I start eating again I will lose control and get overwight again.
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SW: 78.5 kg / 173 lbs
So far I have lost 20 Kg (44lbs)


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